Pictures! Pictures? Where are the pictures please!

Hi Nairalanders,

I'm expecting some friends from abroad staying over for 2 weeks with me and I'm so frustrated thinking of were to take them to. They are boat lovers so any fun place in Lagos (remote or popular) accessible by water is my idea of what they will like. These guys are naija born but here not being here for a while I ordered a jet Ski to make their holiday fun but we need Safe not so densely populated beaches
resort, seaside, village (friendly ones) that we can picnic at after water cruising -If you send piCS dat impress me you might get an invite to come along FREE!

The more details the better, If ym have visited A place before a brief description will be appricieacted.

I wonder why someone will copy and past AMERICAN statistics and shove it down AFRICAN MEN's throat just because "Obama says so" doesn't mean its right!
Pls pls take this stuff else where, until you do home-based statistics don't pluralise our ideology with AMREICAN based info.
I do not believe any of your point on this premise.
I believe Naija women score far higher in some of these your points but the argument you use in supporting the claims does not gel for a deep thinker like myself:
Consider this
5. We're better at seeking comfort.
A Mind survey of 2,000 people revealed that women are far more likely than men to talk through their problems. Fifty-three percent of women talk to their friends about what's stressing them out, as opposed to 29 percent of men.

This assumes that talking thru ur problem makes you comfortable! arguably so?

@PapaBrowne
Wat is wrong with ur thinking, who told u those students are southwesterners?
why are Nigerians so tribalistics in their perspective?
no wonder we ve d type of leader we get!!!!

Poster all you need is an FM transmitter, you can get one in a shop in shoprite building Lekki. The shop is upstairs near the cinema just opposite the bookshop as you go up the staircase, it costs between N10,000 to N15,000 .

Because it is ideal

Your Hubby Loves you!!!! repeat after me " MY HUSABND Loves ME"
Hw am I sure of this? Because I was in his shoes once and my wife was in your shoes.
It all started when we moved to a new house unfortunate we were robbed 4 days afterwards and i had to relocate my family to another apartment. Unkown to her and me my wife held me responsible for this traumitising event because i dint close the window tru which the robbers gained access. she lost confidence in my manhood my ability to protect her and I LOST HER RESPECT!!
this corridor provided ample space for other grudges and these kick the ball rolling. we were all of a sudden at each others throat daggers drawn there was nothing she dint do to hurt me and i responded with equal magnanimity. its funny now looking back, we were both playing with fire and we seriously hurt each other.
WHEN A MAN LOOSE RESPECT HE CANT LOVE.MEN THRIVES ON RESPECT ITS THE AIR WE BREATHE, WOMEN THRIVES ON LOVE YOU HAVE STARVED HIM OF RESPECT HE'S STARVING YOU OF LOVE BOTH OF YOU ARE GASPING FOR BREATHE (i susgest you seek out this book  LOVE & RESPECT)

when i realised what she did that stripped me of my manhood, i shed personal tears ( mind u i have not wept since i was 17) and forgave her until i did i COULD NOT EXPRESS MY LOVE TO HER even though while we were at daggers drawn I STILL LOVE HER!!!!
There you have it a classic summary of my own experience similar to yours.
i dont think your husband has forgiven you for robbing him of his ego when he was most vulnerable thats why he'll show more love to your kid than you.
i forgave my wife after praying God to help me forgive. you husband loves you he just cant express it or make effort to make you happy because he's lost his MANHOOD ( and i mean even in bed)
THIS (PHASE),  TOO SHALL SURELY PASS!

I have read your post over and over again.
I want to believe your issues with your hubby are (I stand corrected):
1) He’s not caring enough for you anymore, you might have overlooked it before now (during courtship and pregnancy) but your hormones (post natal) are raging for more sex, more affection, more attention, more cuddling. The mundane things of life don’t matter anymore all you care about is your husband and your kid? These two persons mean the world to you and you can’t stand not being able to have them whenever you want however you want? More so, it pains you that he has the capability to respond to your stimuli (unlike your kid) but he -you feel - chose not to.
2) He’d rather spend his happy moments with everyone else except you? You can’t seem to fathom why, considering you have so much love to give him. If he asks you for your eyes you can pluck it out and lay it in his palm (literarily speaking)?
Even though you can’t fault your hubby’s person in general,
“He was not much of a talker when we dated, now we don't even share more than the necessary daily life talks (what's for dinner and so on)”,
you seem to have a problem when it comes to his dealings with YOU. He’s a good man-at least you’ve considered that before you married him- and a responsible father. He’s not even a bad husband,
“I like, respect and appreciate my husband for who he is deep down inside, the "rough edges" as you call them, CC, are the problem. I can do with the not-romantic type,……….  but I cannot do with someone totally ignoring me,  except on the few occasions when he wants sex,
He tells me that he does, he is still with me good day/ bad day and I have no reason to think he ever cheated, He is not doing any harm to me, he is just not doing anything. I don't know, if he doesn't love me…………… “

I want to believe you have upended the ante, you have redefined the status quo; what it means to love you, without telling your husband the new definition you have in mind!

“But if I tell him that he gets angry saying "he doesn't know what to do to show me he cares for me"  or that "nothing is enough for me".

Do You expect him to feel your pulse and tell you, ‘woman you want sex Tuesday 3.00pm on the couch after a warm bath’ and meet those needs. This analogy might seem funny but I bet you will agree with me if he can do this you won’t mind at all (even as you consider the thought it feels romantic) abi?

My advice, instead of teaching/telling your husband HOW-TO tell him WHAT-TO
Quoting CC : “You will have to teach him & mould him into what you want him to be, ”

DON’T TELL HIM HOW YOU WANT THE DISHES WASHED; TELL HIM YOU WOULD LIKE HIM TO HELP WITH THE DISHES EVERY NOW AND THEN. PRAISE HIM TO HIGH HEAVENS WHEN HE DOES IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS FRIENDS, WITH A JOVIAL BELOVED EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE. (I’m betraying men folks divulging this secret to you gal) HE’LL TURN INTO A WASHING MACHINE WITH A SMILE.
Remember what you praise appreciate!!
DON’T TELL HIM WHAT NOT TO DO (don’t go clubbing, don’t go out with friends) BECAUSE HE HEARS:  THIS IS HOW I WANT YOU TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FROM NOW ON… INSTEAD TELL HIM HOW MUCH IT WILL MEAN TO HIM IF HE STAYS WITH YOU TONIGHT, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T STAND THE LONELINESS AND EMPTINESS IN YOUR BED WHEN HE’S NOT IN IT.
Even if this is not true or at worst he doesn’t fall for it, you’ve sown the seed of LOVE in his heart. While he’s out and about he’s thinking, “My wife is at home in bed lonely and cold”. When he gets back from the club he’ll be more attuned to make love to you as a way of making up for leaving you or as a gift for your understanding his need to be with the boys without complain. You have ended up teaching him your needs without nagging or saying a word that could result in argument or quarrel by appealing to his soft side rather than facing up to him and challenging his manhood which in turn he will show you who’s boss.

“, sometimes I wish I could just read his heart and know what he's thinking about,”

This thought process is what resulted in issues/challenges in marriages. PERISH THE THOUGHT!!(Men are from Mars women are from Venus).
If you knew what was on your husband’s mind per time you’ll kill/maim/divorce him. (The heart/thought of man/woman is evil and desperately wicked)
Qouting Reference:” If you want someone who thinks and acts like you, then you might as well marry yourself”



I seriously believe you have wronged your husband one way or the other when you started making these demands off him without “communicating” in layman’s terms what exactly you wanted.
During this phase you’ll hear stuff like:
“What do you want from me? What do you want me to do for you that I have not done?”
He’ll answer you in single sentences and ignore you most of the time because he’s confused contemplating, ‘is this the woman I swore to love all my life?’ how do I cope with this nag? What the hell is wrong with this woman?’
All the while he ignores you more and more, the more you nag and shatter the peaceful atmosphere in your home off he went with his friends clubbing or just whiling away time as long as she’s not with that BEEaatch! Thinking, I hope when I get home she’ll be asleep and I’ll have my peace.
Have you deflated his so called ‘ego’ so much because you want him to change and love you more by your actions, attitude, insolence, un-submissiveness. Now he has changed for the worse like most men he has found HAPPINESS outside of home. As it stands he enjoys the company of his kid(s) and would rather spend time with anyone else than you? (does he all of a sudden cheer up at the prospect of a going out with friends, watching a match when some few minutes before while you were with him he sounded depressed?)

Lastly you decided to make those sacrifices you made to make your marriage work but like we all human we give with an expectation – nothing is given for free. You have expectations that were not met and then you resent his own contributions because you feel yours outweighs his! 

Someone said and I quote:  “We judge others by our expectations of them, and expect others to judge us by our intent.”

How do I know your intent? How do I know your expectations?

“Now, when I look back, I have this bitter feeling that I was alone doing all of that. Though he did make some efforts, I never saw him making any "costly" effort. He'd never sacrifice anything or go out of his comfort zone for me.”This statement reveals a great deal about your expectations and how unfairly you are judging your man.
Why? Why? Why What is wrong with you? What costly effort are you talking about? What is costly to you is not to him! From his perspective things look different! Because you carried pregnancy for 8month plus makes you deserve to have him eat out of your palms? As far as he’s concerned you did your responsibility. (Mind you this is an example)
And you are so disillusioned by your contributions fine but don’t play down his to justify your demands for more please please pleaseeee!!!! don’t play that card babe.

If you feel we need to talk more send me a mail akindayor@yahoo.co.uk

i'm dating my friend
realized we've got unresolved differences
its gettin sour and i want out!
this shizzy happens for real am 1 example

Nice to meet you tunde
Buena vista is a big dream for me love the idea
but couldn't see myself making dat giant leap for it right now
i'm a young professional just got a nice paying job would like sometin more conservative on the mainland
preferrably the cool areas like Maryland,Anthony,gbagada et al
can you help ?
contact me dayodunmo@yahoo.com

now to my own candid advice :
a guy who treted u badly cos he aint got a job is nbot a looser but can graduate in one when he looses his present job
if u're confident he's not tell him ur fears and make sure he's repentant of it
no excuse dou for treating u badli
my mom was hurrying my sis to get married i told her to back off cos she might do more harm , than she meant to hurryin her to jump into the river witout the basics
ask ur bro to plead on ur behave and make momsie and popsie bak off
if dey dont ve d confidence in u dat ur know wat u re doin why den would dey want u married when u aint matured enuf
or are dey passin on dier own responsibility to ur would be husband?
it's nt fair to push u into married
read wat i posted earlier and try to sink it in, okey?

read this it mait b of help
Got this email, I have my issues with some of the content but it's got some truth.
It is worth reading.

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
A relationships' coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the
prospects of long-term marital success.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no
one
wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50
percent,
it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Ms.Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why
they're
getting married,they' ll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1
mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should
never be
based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a
profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married.
Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other
ingredients
are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't
build a
lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five
questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and
keeping
a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put
it
this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to
live
with someone. What do you plan to Do with each other all that time?
Travel,
eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more
meaningful. You need
a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can
grow
together, or you can Grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are
growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want
out
of life bottom line-and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the Core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling
safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of
having
good communication is trust - I.e. trust that I won't get "punished"
or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of
mine
defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to
express
your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make
sure
you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions:
A) Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
(B) Are they serious about improving themselves?( or do they keep on
telling you that they'll never change)
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always
striving
to be good and do the right thing."
So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time?
(c)Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not
someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are
essentially
two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal
growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose
goal
in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing
the
right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that
makes any relationship work is the Ability to give. By giving, we mean
the
ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think
about
the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be
nice
to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver,etc.
How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and
appreciation? Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who
gossips cannot be someone who loves others.You can be sure that someone
who
treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're
married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the
intention of trying to"improve" them after they're married. As a
colleague
of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after
marriage
, for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they
are
now, then you are
not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be
difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with
your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as Objective as
possible
when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get
to
the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake
up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in
trouble
because you didn't do your homework. Another perspective. , There are
some
people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing
what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your
time
with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere
relationships.
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift
and
which ones lean? Which ones
encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth
uphill and which ones
are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or
feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand,
know,
or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of
mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to
decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the
balcony of your life. An African proverb states, "Before you get
married,
keep both eyes
open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and
make
a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance
, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning
signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change
someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet-peeves and differences will become more obvious.
If
you love your mate and
want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to
close
one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate
have
many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams,
weaknesses
and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have
decided to share a life together. Neither one of you are perfect, but
are
you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do
you
compliment and compromise with each other or do you compete, compare
and
control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past
relationships,
past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the
altar to
alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If
you
develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find
yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible
for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness and
selfishness
are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
relationship. Seeking status,sex, and security are the wrong reasons to
be
in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a
note)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OFCOMMITMENT
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment,
withdrawal, abuse, neglect,dishonesty and pain will replace the
passion.

u guys dat wnt to com home only after securing a good payin job SRRY!! u shot urself in the leg cos dat does not com easy. we dat we re hear we re not dullards at all we'll do same job det'll pay u heavy money for . and get paid in naira so dont even think abt it if u want to com and establishh a coy then no wahala

i work with a big oil firm in Nigeria no complains yets, cos am not married my money stays in my pocket or bank account

mean ko mean ni? watif i said i dont bliv in feb 14 never had anyway. ok i 'll tell u my story
some1 did dis to me last year val had sex with anoda guy just because we were not togeda on val's day
i was in uk, she in naija it started out as a suggestion ,''baby since u ain't around can i go out wiv my friend on val'' she asked. so as not to be uptight ,kill-joy boyfriend i obliged cos she could do it anyways and i wouldn't know d beta.
Then the following nait comes the serious "i need to tell u sumtin'' kind of line.
u kno d date i went with last nait bla blab bla, we had sex! what? we , had , PLS 4GIVE ME
i-dont-kno-how-it-happened-kinda-shit wit all uncalled for explanations i don wanna talk about now.

am facing same prblm right now my suggestion :let the gal chill out and try to convince mom and dad there's no cause for alarm and being in another tribe does not meanj he's a devil, she just has to investigate their fears and howbeit succinctly so as no to rupture the trust in da relationship.GOd speed

babe-heart
dont crucify your self or allow anyone to .start appriciating your self because i think it's lack of selfworth
that makes u say harsh words to this your guy."do u somtimes feel u don't nid him or u're not worthy of him?"
u already feel he won't kip to his promise of lovin an' not leavin u,so u want to kip him at a distance frm seeing
hw vulnerable u're to his love, u kip him frm your core, the jelly-like u that wants him always to  cuddle u,love u,protect u
adore u?
if am wrong tell me and i'll delete my input, but if am right
u can solve this by OPENING UR MOUTH TO APprici8 him say things like "nice hair cut,nice shoe,u look kinky "stuff like dAT
then u can graduate to 2 HONEY I MISS U, bla blabla
once u give love u'll feel more relax and less internally agitate and rage ll cease
TRY AN' WORK IT OUT COS UR TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!!1

@blue wat part of mushin
@VOR which 1 uno dey sef?
@blue lovely LHips lol

looks too gud 4 its price
only dat i cant c d colour proprely
i'll pay 100000cash if u'll deliver to my doormot

u gals never ever makes it easy on us and when we giv u lee ways u turn it all around and say excuses like 'd gal is cheap bla bla bla' wats wrong in dis 21st century in u making a move on a guy? U dont wanna get a No but you gladly dole it out on a regular basis (insecurity)
Now back to the gist can u ladies pleeasseeeee! write in the format Seun posted (if U CAN)
telling us lines u dig? I bet u don't even ve any idea of the line cos u dont know wat it takes to do it
(after all u 're not guys)
dare it if u can?

Seun:

If you feel you need to "tame" your girlfriend it might be that she's just not right for you. Look for a way to move on without making her an enemy. Make it clear that you're not humble enough to be her man and she'll understand.

@Seun
the truth doesn't hit this much,this is one of the best advice u can get frm anywhere thumbs up seun!
@ asanga
u can't tame someone not willing to change but giving up on her too is cowardly now confront her with these issues u've like u would a 7year old if no head way cut the ties with a HIrishima swordbut try to b friends afterwards

no offense man dats wat nairaland is for speak ur mind albeit not offensively
catch you with transcorp shares and i'll sue u for misleading nairalanders with ur 'transcorp not worth the HYpe@ shizzle
ger it?

@ Amerie fan chekd out ur profile on
impulse galu're pretty men (fltn)

@donzman
is GE general electric jack of all trade?
open ur mind PLEEEAZZZEE!

thanks Iyke for the info lets wait and see all the transcorp critics run fi kova as it goes BUYAKA IN DEM FIACE!

i get the point, several years of bad leadrship taking its toll on the populace even the minds of young vibrant nigerians like ours (Seun U'RE ONE OF THEM) who happens to hold the keys to the future. we seem to bliv theRE's an hidden agenda in everything govt has interest(s) ,of course it's no fault of ours see wat apartheid did to south africans (no disrespect at all). Dont u ever think this agendas dont always work as planned.
e.g if transcorp was obj's agenda to be socio-economically relevant wat makes u think he has all the chips in his pocket and some Atiku or dantata will not upturn his table d way he did the IBB's or some drastic change happens and a Soludo or Rufai bcoms president and abandon his agenda.
Now back to tcorp if it was a silent contraption of our political bloc head leaders wat makes u think 'WE' as in me or you or someone reading this thread cant turn it round for good.
i tell u the corporation of Japan ,america ,korea were not initiated with you in mind,no but now they ve far reaching effects on our lives down here in nigeria and wheresoever u re rait now so dont kill d lofty dream of a 100% nigerian corporation b4 it starts. something good might come out of it or its ashes if ever it dies
I'm 100% sure .TAKE A GAMBLE IT FIT B YOU O o! (

[center][s]This is my plan and i don't want no copy copy una hear me so?[/s]
My girl knows i don't wear  chain for any reason whatsoever, i told her even if she bought it for me i
will only wear it for a while before i  dash it out. So i plan to buy the kind of ring she loves 'white gold' she says,
wear it as a pendant of the ring, Mind u the ring is gold wear my shirt all buttoned but one and pay her a visit.
The trick is she sees the chain i'm wearing herself and questions were i got it frm if she touches it,
i'll bring the whole lot out show her the ring wear it on her finger with the chain, look into her eyes and tell her
'I'M YOURS FOR LIFE ,IF YOU'LL MARRY ME!'can you be that[/

dat aint yur real name is it?
if it is well tell me more joke
if its not, ??welcom

Look to d bright side at least u got off him early enuf (dou 2 years ain't a joke)
it could ve been worse if he was gud t it he could ve u for 5 years and den bang he hits u with dis kind of story
moreso u 're still young and fresh (i want to blive he was ur 1st love) so put some optimism
and get on with life cos falling is just part of learning to walk, kapiche??

damadsuite:

akindayor

Whaoh your expectation is quite watery: Transcorp hitting N7,500 in 7years time. That is a blast that can kill a man. This means your N1,000,000 investment will be worth over N1,000,000,000 (N1Billion). Na wa for you. Your expectation is quite interesting. I think I may join the game even if it is gambling.
Just sharing my opinion. I am still a spectator on this company.

@ damadsuite
u getting it all wrong i never said anything close to N7,500 not at all
wat i said was in 5years down d line,

i appreciate your analysis quite informing and don't mind me its just that some of the things u said didnt appeal to the optimistic side of me even my Realistic sides queries these decisions and more but my heart rules because i bliv in d nigerian project wh transcorp stands 4 (100% nigerian).
Moreso as u've rightly mentioned tcorp has got enough in its arsenal that with good mgt it can only deliver outstanding dividends not only so the market is quick to identify succeses no matter hw marginal and lastly their are more spectators outside (ie still waiting 4 transcorp to skyrocket or crash) so, any positive indication will only result in values increasing in exponential proportions this is what ve gather frm this forum so far. rather than bite my fingers and wish i had bought tcorp, i'll bite my fingers and hope it all works well because really it canT be much worse than this._{THIS IS A RISK I GLADLY TOOK} !