₦airaland Forum

whatz up my fellow applicants. oya o. i think we have dwelt enough on application process. maybe we should start hacking into the meat of the matter. seen? so from my little experience physical screening will involve us dressing like white fowls and presenting our files before a panel of verifers. many will be disqualified at dis stage. stage two is altitude test. many will be disqualified at dis stage too

jameshow:
Guys I'm back, loaded with First Class info.

There are 3 reasons why the recruitment will not be cancelled, as a matter of fact is too late for cancellation of the recruitment. One of the reasons being that large number of the officers retired immediately after the election. secondly, something important which I won't mention here has been sent to camp. Thirdly, some of the Oga at d top are seriously interested in the process because of their own candidates.

The camp to be used is Bauchi. The only delay now is the Oga. Just for him to say go ahead and make the call.
That thing sent to camp is the strongest signal that we are close

oga quote and unquote me :?'cadets will never train outside lagos. that is where they have state service academy for officers.

boborneyor:
I have been trying to upload my cv since but it bouncing back.....Its demanding that it should be in PDF format and i have done that several times but its not loading

oga go and use a computer. it will go instantly. thank me later

Success1930:
Let us just hope for d best.Bcoz this recruitment is already a go!! Anytime soon, we will start receiving the joyful calls & messages that will bring a warm smile to our faces..U don't need to tell anyone saying d recruitment won't be concluded to keep quiet..Call to camp will shut their mouths up..This is public forum and everyone has right to disseminate any information at their disposal either credible or fake..Atleast before those Guards& Detectives were called for camping. Some were shouting recruitment has been cancelled but after d call none of them talked again.I wish everyone including myself good luck as we await the congratulations message from DSS...Best regards from this end..

oya clap for yourself

Shaka6278:
Savage. Scavenger. Oya Shhh be Mute. The time is near.

nawa for una o. so people should only tell u wat u want to hear. what if spartking is right and dey actually call for fresh recruitment? will u refuse to re apply? or wat if u are right will u den go and pour acid on spartking because he is wrong? everybody is entitled to air wat dia sources tell dem and at d end only time - not u or anyone else - will justify dat information...over n out

please check this out peeps: i ve been able to upload every oda document except my cv. it just refused to upload even though it is below the 200kb max. is anyone also experiencing this ? and has anyone scaled thru?

sexybaby22:
Don't you know that any organisation would want to see your give approved form of identification.
Some of the questions graduates ask amaze me. After they'll start saying no job whereas they themselves are unemployable.

sexybaby u harsh o. see how u whipping some niggu's ass. hope u've applied. between could i see some of ur pics to know just how sexy u are?

TheFacelessMan:
Wristbangle and allan2.

Let me clarify things. THIS IS NON-FICTION.

If you don't stop fighting and shake as Gentlemen, i would do to you what i did to 2 fighting monks in Tibet.

Many years back in Tibet......





Valar Morghulis

yeah i remember bleeping clearly. right there in Tibet, where i had been part of a team of aerchologists who had gone at the behest of the UN to consider the authenticity of certain artifacts - ancient tombs, something that looked like tooth brush and the unspoilt garment on the body of a very dead and decomposed monk. infact that last one was the real kicker for us. one of my fellow aercheologist Ben Swiggad had suggested that perhaps d soul of the monk had sipped into the clothing rendering it incorruptible, another one Murray Lane had said
"or maybe he just re incarnated into a sodding gown eh? how do you like that for sodding reincarnation eh? he laughed, i laughed, we nearly all laughed except Charlie- Won, a chinese-american, who only looked out the window before returning his eyes to the book between his fingers: 'The Tibetan Book Of The Dead......

TheFacelessMan:


I remember when i was about to be arrested by SARS for "unlawful loitering"

I was watching my team Arsenal at a viewing center.


I had bet salary on them winning Derby County yet the useless oafs conceded an 89th minute goal.


0-1 !!!!! My world dissolved in tears.

How do I face my wife at home? No foodstuff to eat! And my boss? He had borrowed me 500k and was becoming impatient.


I had buried my head in my hands when i heard the whine of a police siren in the distance.


"HEY YOU!!!" I lifted my head up and i saw magic for real.


The center that had been filled to the brim 10 seconds ago with over 100 smelly youths had cleared out totally. This was ABRACADABRA for sure

"You are under arrest" The shorter of the 2 SARS guys said, grinning at me "Unlawful loitering" he added.

In a fit of rage coupled with frustration, i flipped the table up, plates and bottles flying everywhere

https://66.media.tumblr.com/06479c0d7e3d0b2e18f2901e3fcb7e7c/tumblr_inline_nooapoX0XE1rv690c_500.gif

I had had enough, i had nothing to lose

I screamed and i broke 2 bottles on my head, one after the other.

[img]http://1.bp..com/-JloVzrJtMyw/VadqkzRDSSI/AAAAAAAF6Tg/iQKiAhPuV5c/s400/mail.google.com.gif[/img]

The SARS guys looked at themselves, and then at me with gaping mouths


I saw magic for the 2nd time. One of them must have broken Usain Bolt's record running away.


To be continued...…..


Culled from "The Memoirs of The Faceless Man"

somewhere at the back of my mind i could feel a bump rising like an eager phallus at the centre of my skull where i had smashed the second bottle but the rush of adrenaline, coupled with my ill luck had suddenly killed off any regard i had for pain. the only impulse i had now was to inflict pain - and just any SARS bitch would do. one of the SARS bitch had stumbled and crashed on a couple of chairs yelping as he did. my face split in a savage grin as i leapt for his ass. i felt warm blood splash my face as i tore the side of his face with the jaggered edge of one of my smashed bottle. rising above his yell was a scatacco of gunfire
"this is for my salary!" i shrilled bringing down the bottle again. the last thing i remember was seeing a pathetic horrified face cringing, forming a big scream, feeling a slice of the fear it so readily dispensed....to be continued

wristbangle:
What a fallacious story but filled with some humour. When are you going to air perhaps tell us season 2 this lying story?

what a douch bag u are! cant u easily notice that it was a work of fiction? did u not read d part that says 'culled from bla bla bu?' fallacious is wen u shit on your ass and blame buhari for it...bitch

is it optional to upload medical certificate

abeg while we wait for the site to wake up what category will u suggest is best suitable for someone who studied industrial physics?

Sid2018:
Fam even if you doubt, you can keep it to yourself, let people who still have hope and faith hang on to it...

omo this is an open forum so people have every right to express their views as long as they don't insult people. dont be intolerant. that's anti dss

Olalekandelaz:
Please which of the field should I pick for someone that studied Industrial Chemistry?

its a tricky one mate. but i guess if you saw store/procurement position u might start thinking wat i'm thinking

men guys aint slowing down - every niggi pushing, fussing and shoving to get a piece of that big fat national freaking cake. good lord help us all. selah.

i am a guy of 30 Based in Warri. i need women between 40 - 55 for mutually satisfying relationship. PLease No Married women. ONLY widows or singles. call this number 07031356849

[quote author=Success1930 post=77276715]Sure it will hold.King of glory pls touch the heart of DGSS to remember Cadets , we have waited so long ..Everything is becoming tiring...Any credible information house?? I guess Kaizer is unavoidably busy at the Airforce training sch..[/quote success be at ease brethren and just keep your ears to the ground. i'm telling you the truth two dss officers can be working in the same office and the other will never know what the other one is doing. it is called the principle of compatmentalization - and it applies accross the internal affairs of the service including recruitment. so believe me, nobody can say what will happen next but u can b sure of this; wen dey are ready to release an information, everybody will get to hear it

Xzibito:
everywhere is quiet

because there is no concrete information - only speculations

SpatialKing:
That only positive and realistic truth is they are planning start the process afresh.

sometimes i wonder why people cant read the hand writing on the wall. anyways every mallam with his own kettle. wish us all the best

people...good people, it has been said that the black man doesnt know how to lead a nation...from Nigeria to post apatheid south africa the grand 'mumurism' of the black man in matters of national interest are so glaring, south africa that was built by the white man is now rapidly crashing down under the rule of the black man. who did this to my race? who made Nigeria to imagine that cannabis is a dangerous expression of nature to be chained and maimed while the whites that misled us into this thinking are now rapidly revisiting their cannabis laws so that countries like the US and canada are begining to legalize the regulated use of cannabis both for medicinal and recreational prospects. imagine if we choose to see the glaring truths about cannabis and toe the part of sensibility. imagine the huge market waiting to be exploited! lemme jus give y'all a peak of the steak. there is a straim of cannabis called 'indian hemp' the indian hemp is not usually used for recreational purposes because of the very low levels of the active compound i.e thc or cbd that generates the high and calming effects respectively of cannabis. instead it has great industrial uses in the area of rope and fabric making. do yoi know that indian hemp is a viable alternative to cotton in the clothing industry? we have the land to farm ourselves into the low hanging riches that indian hemp presents. so why are we still bathing with spittle while at the edge of the river niger? i'll tell you why alright - its the deceptive laws against cannabis in nigeria!

Success1930:
U mean the recruitment has been cancelled??

it would seem so but its still to early to be sure

backing me and taking a noisy leak against the dump was the huge frame of one of the most famous agberos in ring road. he was one of the untouchable few who smoked weed in the thick of ring road without regard for the police or army. now here i was face to the back of this villian. without thinking i turned back and started sprinting off when the gruffy final voice of the thug stopped me on my tracks
'come back here.' he ordered like a demigod. i quickly turned and saw him peering down at me, a fat wrap of weed steaming in his mouth. that was when i first noticed the smell of weed in the air and at once remembered all the horrible things i have heard about weed smokers - that they lose their mind and do crazy stuff, that they are violent and can easily get into a fit so much that they could beat up a little boy who just came to ease himself at the dump without a second thought. i waited for that beating alright but that wasnt going to come
'shey u come p*ss?' he asked
i nodded
' oya go p*ss' he waved his hand to a spot as though it were a proper toilet. boy did i let my bladder rain hard and fast while the thug stood watch over me pouring streams of smoke into the sky like a smoke offering to the sky beings. when i was done i ran like a kitten to the store terrified yet glad that i didnt get a beaten. in hindsight i realized that what scared me more was not just the frame of that bull of a thug, it was more than that; it was a fear for what steamed between his fingers and all the horrifying things i have heard about it. it put a fear into me, a fear, a suspicion that sadly many Nigerians still carry about because of all the things government and the anti cannabis world has said about the herb

so after a couple of hits from my joint, i am back again to shove the big fat truth down the throat of the evil law against cannabis. you see, we humans suffer from a most subtle psychological disorder called the 'herd mentality' its the principle behind riots, gang raping, mass stealing from government coffers and of course hatred for the herb. i remember when i was growing up, i had gone to stay a while with my uncle in benin-city who had a business spot around ring road. now those who lived in B side around 2001 would tell you that ring road was one hell of a depot for stunch agberos. dont joke with benin agberos. they are tough twaks who know the fine art of cursery and maiming. now there was this spot we used to urinate and by we i mean everyone plus the agberos. whenever i went there i used to hold my heart in my mouth hoping not to run into one. well my luck kept shining until one fateful cold afternoon when it refused to come up. i was so hard pressed i had ran off to the spot to take a mighty leak but when i got there i froze and the urine in my bladder instantly transformed into sweat; hot beads of sweat breaking loose from my brow

the fact is that cannabis smoke does not cause cancer even as it is mild on the lungs compared to the legal yet proven cancer stick called cigarettes that choke and scorch the lungs. the fact remains that smoking marijuana does not induce people to be aggressive. on the contrary cannabis slows things down so that in a heated situation under the atmosphere of cannabis you are more likely to seek verbal solutions to conflicts that throw a punch which is definitely not the case with alchohol. under the influence of booze violence always seems like a better option. forget what you see at motorparks where a mean faced agbero smokes a fat wrap of weed as he threatens blood if he is not settled. its not the weed talking. he might as well be drinking a bottle of coke and he would probably issue worse threats because coke contains lots of sugar which has a way of dishing more energy into the system, an energy that the agbero would access to render more threats

hi mindful folks. in fairness to the status quo many criminal minds run the illegal cannabis - locally called egboo, kpoli, lala and a host of other colourful names - business, ensuring that the ndlea are on their toes but hacking off the branches of trees doesnt stop the tree from sprouting new ones. so what's the catch? its the obnoxious and anti progressive anti cannabis law alright. get this folks, as long as we fold our hands and let our hair grow soon someone is either going to call you a rastaman or better yet mad. now listen up! are we mad as a people to sit on our hands and refuse to even give minimal thought to the curious nature of the anti kpoli law? look i am not here to praise the eye and spite the ear but what are you going to do if you wad of sweet money falls into a stinking gutter. i'll tell you what you are going to do folks. you will bow your clean little knees over that gutter, dive your fingers into the stench and fish for that money because getting it is more important than getting a few smells on your fingers. now lets yap out some facts as we go down that gutter to save the soul of our sensibilities, shall we?
you see, cannabis has been around for such a long time the indians had been using it for medicine and enlightment long before the Europeans new how to make a shoe. big ol USA came up with the reefer madness propaganda in the early 1900's to prove that egboo can drive you nuts all in a bid to de market the tender herb. well news flash! cannabis wont drive you nuts - but we have to be as plain as possible. there are different strains of cannabis and if you take a strain choked with thc compound and you dont smoke it right you can get some anxiety trips - which i as so many other cannabis users have experienced - but not the stark raving madness as claimed by the experts.

i think at this stage the DGSS holds the joker. forget whatever in sauce or source is saying. they will tell you what you wanna hear. are they working in the recruitment board? anything they tell you is simply their professional opinion so like i said earlier the pendulum can easily swing both ways aiit?

Ajasco12:
Bcs you re not selected it dose mean they will cancel it after this year recruitment your own may follow it.but this year recruitment is already done by God.

ajasco wake up from your day dream please. read the writing on d wall

omo make we wise up. if jungle mature dem no dey tell person except na pickin. ready unuselves for fresh recruitment. january things go move fast, so dont dull

yanabasee:
It's "fill up"... Mr. Buffoon!!

thanks for the correction....now lets wait for the buffoons

where the people wey dey ask for past questions...una don tire? abeg we need una to feel up the thread. buffoons

mohammedabiodun:
Good morning. I think the coast is clear...

keep on thinking

OrangeDream:
Oga, na ur thread abi na u get Nairaland? Wetin concern agbero wit overload. Abi d panadol na 4 ur headache? Nawa o

orange dream you be serial buffoon. na people like you we dey tie for area. if you cant align with my mandate go jam your brick head for ekulu tree or better still shut up your mouth and learn to get sense. idiot