₦airaland Forum

Yes coz those girls can give them f**k at any time any place,


And they are not faithful, and those guys too knows that them too are not faithful

Hello all,
I tried preparing zobo but I can get the peperish thirst, plz i need help on what flevour i can use and how to get the peperished thirst.

if You think 'Work' is evil and destroys marriage . . . . .Try being idle.
@ Missy B
It's just an opinion am seeking for,

It happens – we have all had on-again, off-again relationships, and it seems we never know what our status is. It can be a very frustrating situation, so the question becomes: what to do though to end the cycle?


1. Frequent breaking up and getting back together is a sign of deeper issues related to love and relationships for both people involved.
These kinds of issues do not typically resolve themselves, and usually tend to cycle and repeat, This can result in a lot of wasted time, heartache, and other negative emotions. Don’t get caught in the break make up trap. Instead, take some time to work on yourself and figure out your own issues. Try educating yourself with books related to what you think your issues are, talking to friends and family about what they observe in you, and experiment with seeking out the help of a trained professional to see if you find that helpful.


2. Sex creates an artificial bond that you may be confusing with love.
When a woman has an orgasm she releases the hormone oxytocin, explains Dawn Maslar, author of the soon to be released The Broken Picker Fixer. Oxytocin causes a woman to bond. When you run back and jump in bed, you don’t know if it is really love or just a hormone high.

3. The overwhelming majority of relationships with multiple break ups do not ultimately work out.
There is a simple deeper wisdom and message in this phenomenon that people engaged in it are missing: If you’re breaking up and making up over and over again, that’s not likely the person for you, Time spent continuing in the cycle usually just ends up lost. No lessons learned, little or no pleasant memories, and most people end up even more vulnerable to the same kinds of problems in their next relationship despite the usual resolve to “never date someone like that again!”

4. The constant relationship roller coaster is destined to lower your self-worth.
Many times we return to a relationship not because we should, but because we want to avoid the pain, points out Dawn Maslar. Walking through the pain of a break-up strengthens us and the healing process enhances our self-worth. Conversely, running back to a relationship that is not in our best interest erodes our self-esteem.

5. Every time you go through the same cycle it can gain more and more power over you and be come harder and harder to break. Think of like practicing to learn to ride a bike. The more you do it the better you get at it and eventually you start doing it without even thinking about it. You’re not only practicing poor skills in your break up/make up relationship, but also getting better and better at them for all your future relationships. Stop practicing bad habits and start learning some good ones, .

6. Lose credibility with your friends.
If you have ever spent hours on the phone with a girlfriend going through a break up, only to have her return to the jerk a week later, you know what I am talking about. When we go through a break-up we tend to reach out to our girlfriends for support. Many times we spend hours, going over a laundry list of why he was no good. “We paint such a convincing picture of the perfect louse, that if we return to him our friends are baffled!”

7. Prevents the one you really should be with from getting to you.
When you are caught up in an on-again off-again relationship, you are not available for another relationship, correctly points out Dawn Maslar. (Who hasn’t been there) You never know if the guy behind you at Starbucks was the one for you because you were too preoccupied in your current relationship drama to stop and talk with him.

A freind once told me That necessary evil called work. It pays the bills, keeps us busy at least 8 hours a day, and (hopefully) provides paid vacations and health benefits. What you may not fully realize is that work also has a dark side, rotten enough to decay the happiest of marriages,

Is it true? Lets hear your own opinion.

Not at all, it does not hold water why because average Nigeria man is poor. Can only boast of electronics in his house and a second handed Car

Sound so funny, hum,

I want to get a Laptop but i don't know which product is the best,

Please anybody that has idear and knows things about system very well should help find out for me.
Thanks

Is the law and benefit of court marriage really effective in this part of the world. I see girls are usually interested because they hear that during divorce the mans property will be shared. Does that law hold water in this country

Currently, who is the highest paid Nigerian actor/ Actress ?

Thanks to all your responds. yeha i understand that the world is full of evil, so i can't blem anybody


I will let you know when and the days to spen, coz that has not been confirm.
Meanwhile iam greatful

Thanks

Thanks and i pray and hope so too

hOPE THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS MESSAGE,


nO REPLY YET SINCE WHY IS IT THAT HERE IN THIS FORUM WE DON'T HELP,

Hello all,


I have a programm in PH and i don't have where to stay and i do not have cash right now for hotel, I don't know if any member of this forum can be of help. I am a female, plz joke apart
Really urgent,
Thanks

@post A stingy man is a stingy man, either u cope with it or u walk away, i was once there, if u like buy him everything, he will keep quite and take them all and tell u thank you.

No repentance at all

Happy new month to all Nairalander, May He still keep and bind us together with love, and may he grant all of us our heart desires in this new month Amen
If the Lord has been so so so good to you join me today in thanking him.

Read this carefully, though is long but if u can be patince to read it's will help


     
Myths About Cohabitation
from All About Cohabiting Before Marriage

"The truth is that wherever a man lies with a woman,
there, whether they like it or not, a transcendental relation is set
up between them which must be eternally enjoyed or eternally endured."



There are a number of reasons given today for living together, most of which are based on current popular myths. Several of the most common myths of the day are:

Myth #One:
"Everybody's Doing It!"
Everybody is not "doing it." Statistics show that of the college-age people, 65 to 80 percent are sexually active and some of those are living together (Marco 1997). Johnson (1996) estimates 30 to 40 percent of college students cohabit during their time at college. Although this is a large number, this also indicates that somewhere between 20 and 35 percent are not sexually active and somewhere around 60 to 70 percent of students do not cohabit. Therefore, to say "everybody's doing it," is a myth and does not hold up as a valid justification for cohabiting.


Myth #Two:
"Economically It's Worth It To Live Together."
First, it is cheaper for two to live together. However, whatever monetary or other savings are realized from making the choice to living together is also the price at which one will compromise, lose or sell out one's moral standards, virginity, and purity. Second, economical advantages don't in themselves determine whether something is morally right or wrong. Third, the majority of cohabitants do eventually break up and economics are obviously not an overwhelming impediment then, so why allow it to become a controlling factor from the start. The moral questions ought to be, "What is my virginity worth" and "Will I save myself for my lifelong spouse?" Kevin Leman in Smart Kids, Stupid Choices says, "it's kind of like giving someone a million dollars and later finding out you gave it to the wrong person, but now he's gone and so is your money. Gone for good. You don't have it anymore. And the person who should have had it will now never get it."

Myth #Three:
"Living Together Before Marriage Increases Your Chances of Having a Happy Marriage Later."
You "test drive a car" before you buy it, so why not do the same with your lifelong relationships. Another one that is heard often is "you try on a pair of shoes to see if they fit before you buy them, why not your spouse." Someone has said, when you test drive a car you don't pack your personal luggage in the trunk or when you try on a pair of new shoes you don't want everyone else's foot odor and fungus already in them. You can throw away shoes without hurting anyone, but you can't throw away a person without hurting them and possibly others. The great paradox is that research indicates just the opposite of this conventional 'wisdom'. Numerous studies (see "Reasons" below) have shown that couples who have lived together before marriage are more likely to disagree on things like recreation, household chores and finances and are more likely to seek counseling than couples who do not cohabit. The scriptures tell us to "flee fornication" (1 Cor. 6:18), and to "flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness" (2 Tim. 2:22). In other words, avoid all sexual looseness like the plague. The rate of divorce skyrocketing in the last three decades during the same period as the rise of "living together" is proof enough that "trial marriages" are a failure.

Myth #Four:
"Doing It Won't Hurt Anyone."
Many people are permanently hurt, either emotionally or physically, or both. Even those not directly involved such as your friends and parents may get hurt. Marco (1997) lists several statistics for college age people, including the facts that 63% of all STDs happen to people less than 25 and more than 20% of all persons with AIDS are college age. Sin is like throwing a pebble in a pond, it involves only the pebble and the water, but it sends ripples across the entire pond. Sin is never solitary. It always has rippling effects. Sin can also be compared to a spreadsheet where a change of one cell affects the entire outcome at the end. Man sometimes lives as though one single behavior or event is an isolated cell that doesn't affect another; but it does. One's philosophy of life is like the controlling formula of a spreadsheet. When one part is changed, it changes the whole of it.

Myth #Five:
"It's Nobody's Business."
It is said that "living together has much in common with marriage except for the legal imposition of the church and state" However, there are birth, health and disease issues that arise as a consequence of cohabiting which do very much become the responsibility and expense of society. The church is a vital part of society and as such, has the responsibility to uphold that which is the best for society. If the couple wants to be married in the church, then it does become church business. The church itself also has the responsibility to uphold scriptural standards of purity, which is its business. We are admonished in scripture and have the responsibility to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Also, churches help launch and keep lasting marriages. Frequent church attenders have lower divorce rates because they are exposed to teaching and instruction on marital success and because the church body lends support and accountability to couples (Mattox 1997).

Myth #Six:
"It's All-Right Because We're Really In Love!"
First, love can never be a reason for premarital sex; rather, it is one of the greatest reasons to avoid premarital sex (Martin & Myers 1996). True love would never seek the spiritual downfall of another (Rom. 13:10). The scripture says that love is patient and kind; it does not seek to please itself, nor does it delight in evil, but is always hopeful (1Cor. 13). Therefore, true love is patient in waiting for the proper time for sex. It is kind to future spouses by not pre-harming marital intimacy. True love would be unselfish in placing God's will and the needs of others above self. It would not delight in the evil of disobedience, nor would it force another to disobey God (Martin & Myers 1996). Second, the 'feelings of love' are tricky. Jim Long in Campus Life (February 1986) states, "Love can fool you. Your feelings can trick you. The line between love and infatuation is thin. And frankly, sex confuses everything. To be physically involved clouds the issue. It makes you feel closer than you really are. It makes you feel as if you are actually in love. Maybe so. Maybe not." Third, living together is a form of prostitution and love. Dunagan (1993), for example, explains the Greek word rendered 'fornication' is 'porneia', which also means prostitution, and 'porne' was the word for prostitute. God choose these words to describe and label any sexual activity outside of marriage. (1 Cor. 7:9; Matt. 19:9). Fornication is essentially the love that is bought or sold, which is not love at all. The person with whom such 'love' (lust) is gratified is not really considered a person at all, but as a thing. He or she is a mere instrument through which the demands of lust and passion are satisfied. God is letting us know, to call such 'love' is false.

Myth #Seven:
"But We're Going To Be Married Anyway."
This is presumptuous, naive, and wishful thinking. There is often one person in the relationship who doesn't think in terms of a permanent, lifelong relationship. The lingering question is: "If one gives in to moral temptation before marriage, what's going to be different and prevent them from repeating the behavior once the honeymoon is over?"

Myth #Eight:
"The Bible Doesn't Teach That a Civil or Religious Ceremony Must Be Performed For Marriage to Be Valid In God's Eye, So Why Have One?"
The institution of marriage was first created and ordained of God (Gen. 2) and all marriages are still blessings ordained by Him in order that two may become one. It is evident that in biblical times there was a contractual agreement, perhaps verbal, signifying marriage. The parables of "The Wedding Garment" (Matt. 22:11-14) and The Ten Virgins" (Mt. 25:1-13) indicate that marriage took place at a given time and place. The scripture says "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's" (Mt. 22:21; Mk. 12:17 & Lk. 20:25). The government (the 'Caesar' of our day) requires that we must have a marriage license in order to be legally recognized. Since a marriage ceremony is a civil requirement, we are obligated as law abiding citizens and Christians to observe it.

Myth #Nine:
"It'll Enhance My Self-Esteem and Inner Security."
Marco (1997) provides a quote which he believes best sums up what the studies show: "I slept with many, many people trying to find love, to find self-worth. And the more people I slept with the less self-worth I had." It makes sense he says, when you give yourself as "pieces" to a lot of people, you are no longer whole, and as a consequence, may actually feel less self-worth and inner security -- because part(s) of you is (are) missing.

Myth #Ten:"The Bible is Silent on the Subject."
A common myth heard often is that there is nothing in the Bible condemning a couple for having physical relations prior to marriage.1 Corinthians 7:2 says, "but, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." Dunagan (1993) explains, 'Fornication' is unlawful sexual activity of any kind. In this verse Paul places the marriage relationship in contrast to fornication. Fornication can be avoided when you have your own spouse. Therefore, 'fornication-unlawful sexual activity' exists in a relationship in which a man and woman are physically intimate, and yet not married. And the Bible is very clear regarding the consequences of fornication (1 Cor. 6:9; Gal. 5:19-21; Rev. 21:8; Heb.13:4). In addition, Paul informs those that don't have the self-control to live the single life, to marry. (1 Cor. 7:9).

Myth #Eleven:
"The Marriage License Is Only a Piece of Paper, and it Doesn't Automatically Make Two People Committed to Each Other."
"It won't make me love you more." "We are already committed to each other, we don't need a piece of paper to prove it." Dunagan (1993) presents the other side of the argument: "If there's no difference in your relationship, what's wrong with adding one more symbol to your total commitment?" Evidently, marriage consists of more than just a piece of paper. After all, Dunagan says, who raises strong objections over 'just a piece of paper'? Who has ever objected to buying a ring (or anything nice) just to prove their love? OR, 'We're committed to each other, we love each other, we don't need to sleep together to prove that we love each other'; OR, 'I love you . . . really committed to you, but not for a lifetime'; OR, 'I love you, but not enough to want you to be my wife'; OR, ' I love you, but not enough to want to wear your last name"; I love you, but not enough to vow such love before God, family and friends'; OR, 'I love you, but not enough to enter into a relationship that brings you honor, respect and preserves your dignity."

Myth # 12:
Cohabitation, marriage, and divorce is, can be, or should be, just another lifestyle choice, a purely personal relationship created by and for the couple.
This is the "most powerful and dangerous myth," according to Waite and Gallagher (2000:6) because it goes to the heart of the issue. There is an increasing tendency today to view marriage not as objective fact, but a subjective emotion––an inner feeling rather than an outer relationship. We have been duped into thinking that cohabitation, marriage and divorce is primarily for and about adult happiness. We evaluate our relationship primarily according to how well it satisfies my own personal need (Cherlin 1992:71).
In a recent statement by the Catholic Bishops of Pennsylvania, they said sex is intensely private and personal, but it also has deep moral and social dimensions. Sex works as a primary bonding agent in families and the family is the building block of society. Sexual rights and wrongs influence the health and happiness of individuals, families, and neighborhoods. That's why sexual behavior has always been the subject of much civil law. The Church, of course, wishes to safeguard the family and society. But, more than that, the Church wishes to safeguard your relationship with your future spouse and with God. Sex is the act that seals and renews the couple's marriage covenant before God. Sexual sins, then, are not just between a man and a woman, but between the couple and God. And that's the Church's responsibility. Sex is not simply a private matter. If it's between you and God, it's between you and the Church. You need to ask yourself: "When do I stop being a Christian? When I close the bedroom door? When does my relationship with God cease to matter?"

Myth # 13:
What we do with our own bodies does not affect our relationship with each other or our spiritual relationship with God.
Again, the Catholic Bishops of Pennsylvania offer good advice: the gift of your body in sexual intercourse is a profound symbol of the giving of your whole self. In making love, the husband and wife are saying to one another in "body language" what they said to each other at the altar on their wedding day: "I am yours, for life!" God created sex to be physically pleasurable and emotionally fulfilling. But it is even greater than all that. It is, above all, the deepest sign of the complete gift of self that a husband and wife pledge to each other. This mutual gift empowers the couple to become co-creators with God in giving life to a new person, a baby. According to God's design, the gift of sexual union has two primary purposes: strengthening married love and sharing that love with children.
The only place where this total self-giving between a man and a woman is to take place is in marriage. It is the only place where children can be raised with the secure, committed love of a mother and a father. So sexual intimacy belongs only in marriage. Outside of marriage, sex is a lie. The action says, "I give you my whole self." But the man and woman are really holding back their commitment, their fertility, and their relationship with God. Before giving your body to another person, you need to give your whole life, and you need to receive your spouse's whole life in return––and that can only happen in marriage.

Myth # 14:
We can have sex together and not become involved, even on an emotional level.
Dr. Neil Clark Warren of eHarmony, who has heard this numerous times says, "we know from our own studies that sexual involvement prior to a committed relationship of two persons who have vowed to remain faithful to each other for a lifetime always turns out to be problematical. When you get sexually involved with another person, you become highly dependent on them. You become deeply involved at the most profound levels of your being. It is as though your psyche, your soul, your body, becomes totally interrelated with the other person's psyche, soul, and body, such that the two of you really are bonded on the most fundamental level possible." As soon as there is sexual involvement before marriage, the decision to get married becomes a foregone conclusion. "In other words, the sexual bonding caused them to assume that the decision about getting married had already been made. I believe that sexual bonding often takes place far before intercourse," says Dr. Warren.

"The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong about sexual pleasure, any more than the pleasure of eating. It means that you must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself, any more than you ought to try to get the pleasures of taste without swallowing and digesting, by chewing things and spitting them out again."
C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Myth #Three:
"Living Together Before Marriage Increases Your Chances of Having a Happy Marriage Later."
You "test drive a car" before you buy it, so why not do the same with your lifelong relationships. Another one that is heard often is "you try on a pair of shoes to see if they fit before you buy them, why not your spouse." Someone has said, when you test drive a car you don't pack your personal luggage in the trunk or when you try on a pair of new shoes you don't want everyone else's foot odor and fungus already in them. You can throw away shoes without hurting anyone, but you can't throw away a person without hurting them and possibly others. The great paradox is that research indicates just the opposite of this conventional 'wisdom'. Numerous studies (see "Reasons" below) have shown that couples who have lived together before marriage are more likely to disagree on things like recreation, household chores and finances and are more likely to seek counseling than couples who do not cohabit. The scriptures tell us to "flee fornication" (1 Cor. 6:18), and to "flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness" (2 Tim. 2:22). In other words, avoid all sexual looseness like the plague. The rate of divorce skyrocketing in the last three decades during the same period as the rise of "living together" is proof enough that "trial marriages" are a failure.

Base on what seems to bothers me alot,  Since co habitation is that really bad,  would u prefer sleeping with married men/married women or would u co habited,
Plase which would u guys prefer,
am yet to make  a decision plase we all know both is bad but if worst come to worst which would u rather prefer.

Please no Joke.

wel its happen to me, The said guy was real but i could not see myself loving him the way he did, i tried all i could to love him but all to know avail,
Each time he come around my place with all kind of gift , i was hum, like what is this one looking for i hate him am sorry to say this, but i was falling for the one that has thousand and one girls which i dont even fall in his first 50.,

But u know what, when i later realize God its woah so this is how life is.

Girls never want the guys who treat them well. They always die for the guy who
doesn't want them then they start to complain of how he's treating them. Wherea someone else is dying for them who they don't want. Why?

Why all of you re talking about beauty, beauty, It ia all about beauty or character,

What u know u can't offer then u don't expect to get it .
There are wife materials everywhere, na u no wetin u de find, maybe no bi real wife or are u looking for already made wife

Una don see how dem de start give person hypa, Bros when u start u no been no about all this stuff were u de list?

Tomorow de dem ko talk say girls de bad,

May God open ur eyes and enter into ur heart so that u can think right and make right decision, and may u not break that girl's heart in Jesus name

Aha i can't paly the game along side oh coz its will rather hurt me,

I pray God should give me a heart like other girls that have no time for rubbish

What if u love ur guy/chic so much that he has accomodation challenge and you know he/she has been doing wondefully things to u and if u are in that same situation the person won't turn u down, plase how can u guys go about these?
Will u accept to accomodate ur g//f or ur guy or u would prefer watch him/her slepping in friends house when u know u are capable of helping?

@ Timchi
Co-habitation is a sin, it is another way to carried out fornication, which the bible seriously speak against.This also down grade a woman value because before people around u, u can never be taken serious.For ladies it is a great shame dat others cannot attend your wedding cos u r already in a man house. This forum make sometime serves a place of joke but this is coming to u as a warming, so for God's sake stop and save your future.Remember, this is not the act of showing LOVE to your BELOVED ONES. Nice day

Are u saying those that are not cp habiting are not fornicating?  a thousand piple will still attain ur wedding depending on how u need the population of ur wedding,

As i said ealier, iam not saying this to favour me or those that are involved, I can accept and which i know that is it not acceptable in the eye of our creator, But to tell you guys the truth those that are into it with open minded and know what and why they are doing that are better than those that are not faithful in thier relationship, Even when they are been angage.

@ Likky
Gone are the days when ladies fight over a man. Honestly, i cant even imagine myself doing that.
Evetything depends on your guy, if he is truly in luv with u, he will never do that. Jst give him the chance to choose bt u n his flirting chick. Then move on with your life. Simple

Ah there are guys that will just do it , and if its happen that way u do not reacts he might interprete it the other way round sure,
so plz u don't say that, or u can say it if they guy was not up to what u wnat

@ Nevillexus
I wouldn,t do it with a girlfriend but i could try it with a fiancee[quote][/quote]Who is a g/f and who is a fiancee,

@Zugoboss
As for me I regard people that are into it as shameless.If u wanna know each other why not spend some quality time maybe weekends or going on vacation together but moving in fully thats bad!

There are not, it's all about what they want, and who knows maybe that is thier choice, yeah coz life is all about choice,,

@ djay xpro
to me co-habitation is not acceptable! like someone said it is getting a wife or a husband free.eeeeee! as in moneyless and without stress whoever goes into it, has a lot to think about cuz NO privacy! as in no secrets! your gist fit full street

I don't think is getting wife free coz the both parent are not aware of it,

Yeah is bad in God's eyes, but i think also eveything depend on individual,

Ladies and guys in the house plz how bad is co-habitation, I know is not acceptable in the christiandom.
Plz i wnat to know the implication of it, \
Thanks