₦airaland Forum

15 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR WOMAN


1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.


2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.


3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.


4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.


5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.


6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.


7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.


8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.


9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.


10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener,


11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.


12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.


13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books .


14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.


15. Sadly, all men are created equal!


A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what Happened.

"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my Wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort."

"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back Right?"

"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.

"You're sorry you sold her because you realized, too late, that you still loved Her?"

"Oh, No, who the hell wants to love her," said the drunk. "I want her back Because I'm thirsty again!

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.


The Problem was who should get custody of the child.


The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.


The child Should be in my custody."


The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"


The man sat for a while contemplating, then slowly rose. "Your Honor, If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out,


Whose Pepsi is it, The machine's or mine?"

@idi not at all, its just very common in our society.

What are the different names of God and what do they mean?

Was He married or have any secret relationship with Mary Magdalena as people say?

Any body know the price of sharp photocopying machine both new and Belgium .
Please reply .

Husband , what will u do if you caught your wife i mean ur wife with another woman not girlfriend practicing Lesbianism in your matrimonial home ?
And wife if u caught ur husband practicing gay plz tell me what would u guys do?

it all depends on WHO PAID FOR THE HOUSE?!

You and u alone paid for the house

- if she paid for it fully then she has all the rights to do whatever she wants with it even if we live together there. although, the fact that she doesnt tell you that she is doing it would say a lot about the kind of relationship you guys are having.

Her kobo is not there

- if the house belongs to the both of us (we paid the mortgage equally) then she has an obligation to let you know, unless she was planning something fishy on you! there too, it would say a lot about the kind of relationship you guys have.

The house belong to the husband.

- if the house is mine, it would be impossible for her to take a loan and putting MY assets as collateral, EVEN IF WE WERE MARRIED!

if people cant be straight to each other in marriage then they have no business being married at the first place.

Yeah am trying to find out how they meat, though the people in question have divorce,

No, wouldn't divorce her. But, we'll have a lot of bridge building to do.

u mean u will still keep her in ur house? what if para venture she kill you,

@SEINA, WILL U DIVORCE HER OR WUD U STILL KEEP HER AS YOUR DEAR WIFE?

what am trying to say is this, you are married and your wife took  bank loan and secured a property without your knowledge,

U are in the same house with your wife but you don't know that your wife
is building a house.

Yeah @seina, in fact the house you guys are living.

Oh sorry for the mistake , yeah I mean bank loan

Men in the house plz i need a sincere respond from u guys , If your wife took a lone and buy a house in another country without your knowledge what would be your reaction towards her.
Note:
The lone is over your property.

Why do wives forgive cheating husband but husbands don't forgive cheating wives,
Like wise in relationship.
ladies do forgive guys but guys find it difficult to forgive ladies
Why?

Is it that is only ladies that are kind in heart or soft?

i thought this topic is not existing again lol,

This woman is making me to hate going to church, I thought pastor's wife are suppose to be our spiritual mothers, I mean encourage, advice and be there.

Is it wrong for me to tell her my problems,
I just feel like changing to another church, please God order my steps in your word,

Mother's Day is a day honoring mothers, who do so much for their kids. It is celebrated on various days, almost all over the world. On this day, children express their deep love for their mother and thank her for her immeasurable contribution of in their life. Sending flowers, gifts, greetings cards, wishes and text messages are amongst the most popular ways of wishing 'Happy Mother's Day'. Express your profound thanks for the affection and care of your mother, and tell her how much you love her.

Happy mother's day to all the mothers in the house

Plz doctor how well do u know about wellwoman supplement,

Alexsandra Wright, the woman who filed a paternity suit against Beyonce’s daddy Mathew Knowles months ago, recently gave birth to a daughter.

According to mediatakeout.com the DNA tests just came back – confirming that the child is, in fact, a Knowles. Beyonce’s mom Tina officially filed for divorce in November.

No word yet on the baby’s name.

Beyonce’s dad hit with paternity suit

Love,

yeah among all is only one that was really painful, Well i so much thank God becoz am better thereof now than then

I stay for good three days without testing anything,

Now no more trust, no more sincerity, just play along

@amebo
i really petty whoever that will marry u
or if u are already there, it's means u are the head and you husband is the tail.
You can only control and dominate your husband or your boyfriend ok,

What on earth have I done wrong that would warrant all the insult,
enough is enough , I'm here to seek for people's opinion.

do you think love is all about carefulness ,

If u are lucky then thank God, do not see others as cheep and maybe not using their head.

Think this will go a long way,



There comes a time in your life when, even if you enjoy being single, you meet the guy that makes your heart beat faster. There is no right or wrong time to fall in love – it just happens. And then, all you want is to be around him. But, what if he doesn’t seem to care? Is there anything you can do to get his attention? Is there any way to make him yours?


Truths:


Be yourself!

The first rule to make him fall in love with you is to be yourself. If he will love you for something, let that be your special character and your extraordinary mind. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Don’t do anything that isn’t you. He’ll find out that you are faking as soon as you’ll be tired of pretending to be his dream woman and start being yourself. What will happen then? He might not like what he sees; he’ll feel betrayed, and he’ll probably run from you. After all, you do have enough self respect to be loved for what you really are, don’t you?


Be confident!

Being yourself alone isn’t enough. You also have to believe in yourself. Many women remain single because of their low self-esteem. I once met a girl that wasn’t that pretty, but she claimed that she could have any man she wanted. She told me, “It doesn’t matter how you look, it matters what you think of yourself.” Later that night I met her boyfriend. They were on a long-term relationship and they seemed to be happy together. This woman was acting like she was wearing an invisible crown; and it was working.

Are you too shy and don’t know how to “promote” yourself? Here is a tip: think about what your good parts are. Do you have a great humor? Then use it! Guys appreciate humor as mush as girls do!


Do not overreact!

When you like someone and you want to make him like you too, it’s very easy to make a fool of yourself. Don’t be too loud or too invisible; don’t laugh for no reason, don’t say anything that pops into your head. That usually happens when you are too nervous about what he’ll think of you – there is no reason to be so stressed. Just relax, take a big breath and act like he is one of your friends.


Look gorgeous!

First impressions are always important. Not that personality and confidence don’t count, but looking gorgeous whenever he gets to see you, will make your life a lot easier. If you are one of those girls that can’t tell the difference between eyeliner and concealer, put your face’s fate in to your girlfriends’ hands (and makeup kits)!. She will make the best of the beauty God blessed you with!


Tricks:

Be friendly – Smile and compliment him

The first step to make a guy like you is to get close to him. Who can resist the company of a friendly and happy face?

Have you ever noticed that although men compliment us a lot, we don’t do the same? Make the difference. Tell him how handsome he looks. He won’t see it coming, plus, he’ll understand you are interested (keep in mind that most of the times, guys don’t have a clue that we may like them). Jean Giraudoux said about compliments: “When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it’s not so much because they think she is beautiful, but because she has told them they are handsome”.


Listen to the boys!

I don’t imply that all men are the same, or that all see the same way, but it’s always good to take some good advice from the boys. Ask your friends if their girlfriends said or did something they liked, or hated. When you learn about common mistakes girls do during dates or during a relationship, just try to avoid doing them!


Play hard-to-get!

This is an old trick that never goes out of fashion! Make him jealous; don’t answer all his phone calls, and don’t be always available for him. Hang out with other guys too – let him believe you have many admirers. Men are competitive by nature, so he’ll fight for your attention. As soon as he does, he’ll start wondering: “Why am I jealous? Am I so interested in this girl?” You’ll know you have won his heart…


Play on your turf!

Invite him over to your place for a cup of coffee or a movie. You will feel very comfortable if you meet at your house. There are many things you can do if you stay indoors. What’s more, you can invite him to hang out with your friends. They are the people that know how to make you look even cooler than he already thinks you are! They are always in the mood to say something nice or tell some awesome stories about you.


Find out about him.

To get into his heart, you have to get into his mind first. Find out what he’s made of. Ask people that know him to discover what he likes and dislikes. Do you have something in common? Maybe you listen to the same music, or you both like to play chess. Take advantage of the information you’ve got. Challenge him in to a game of chess or start a conversation about the bands you both enjoy.

Let me tell you a brief story to justify why ‘having things in common’ is so important. I was out the other day when I overheard 3 guys in their 20’s. One of them was saying, “I met this really cool girl I think I really like. She drinks Red Bull too!” The others seemed to agree with him. I stopped and stared at them before I burst out laughing. Excuse me? What does drinking Red Bull have to do with anything? Funny as it is, every detail counts!


Get to know his friends!

To win his heart, try to win his friends first. For men, friendship is very important. Take it for granted that he trusts his friends’ opinions, and he faithfully follows their advice. If there is someone that can influence him, it will be his friends. So, the sooner you get to know them and the more they like you, the more possible it is to be with him!

Are you talking about two different guys?
@tammy

No , the same guy

^{Are you not the same person that entered one okada with a man and allowed him order you around on top the okada? are you not the same person he did not even spare a glance when you were hungry?}

I brought the discussion in this forum, i wasn't force to do that , mind you he did not tie my ass down on top of okada,

Ammamat you are cheap and desperate

I can't be hurt in anyways, just know that.
But next time when people comes in here to seek for help, if you do not have anything to contribute , just keep your mouth short

Are you not the same person that stayed with a man till 10.30pm cos he ordered you to, even when you were so hungry?

Point of correction, He was never in anyway order me to stay with him in his office till 10:30 pm, it was my opinion to do so, the reason was becoz the said area  was too  rough for me go walk alone by that time,

We should learn to know people that can not be hash to people no matter the situation, I can never be hash on a man simply because i was hungry , after all i can afford to get myself anything i feel like eating.

Are you not the same person your so called BF was shouting at even when you were rolling on the floor

You see in life we have different kinds of people, to him he may feel i was not serious, but to another person it may not be so OK
Anyway that was then, He still comes to my house pleading but that chance can not be given to him again ,

You sound like the type who is easily convinced, maybe am just being a bi.tch but  sex is around the corner, (if it hasnt happened)
@tammy

well you can say that but  i don't think so,

Plz tell me , if a guy is being nice, ( well i don't know if his pretending or not) what wud u do,

what can u say about this?

The guy calling you and u are not picking his calls
Sending you text to know ur where about , yet know reply from you
coming to check on you, you order him to live, yet he still text to confess his love,
Asking you to be sincere with him.
Doing as though his not important yet he still comes looking for you.






there is nothing like sex,

@chi

When it comes to confessing our love, we all make excuses like “it’s too early” or “it’s too late” or “it’s not the right time…I’d better wait!” Well, if you want my opinion this “perfect time” may never come.

Speaking as a woman, we are usually afraid to flirt with a man, as we are afraid to confess our love before he does. Because when a man confesses his love, he seems romantic; but when we do, we seem desperate. Do I look desperate if you tell him that I love him. It doesn’t mean I want to marry him, nor that I want to have his children. It’s just healthy and pleasant to express my feelings. It’s kind of a relief. After all, love is a feeling meant to be shared

@chibenwa

@ammamat, this guy,does he want u as a date?
and wat are your feelings for him if he do ask,

pls explain.

To me i believe Love is not about giving or receiving gifts, but at the same time it's hard to express feelings.

@ emebo ,

I don't understand what u mean by one being cheap.

If you don't mind kindly define it for me

is this yahoo worst than a top person trying to dupe the coca-cola  company  by putting cockroach inside a coke bottle and pay someone to stand in as a witness in order to collect money from this company?

I heard the story

thanks @ hotchy and angelp,

That is really right , atleast lets us remain that way for now,