₦airaland Forum

God bless you Sir.

God bless Nigeria!!!

Meanwhile some of my Governor in my South South (Rivers State) is just erecting pillars, while others have completed Bridges and gone far with more.

God help my region upon the billions of allocation.

God bless Nigeria!!!

Which South South, you can personally go and support them. No to Biafra in South South.

We can be on our own if we want to.

technicallyrich:
We shouldnt fight our selves.
Ss,se and some part of middle belt are biafrans.
I just hope they know that biafra,is not only an igbo thing.
I am ijaw and i love and support biafra.

The present Security challenges shall be overcome by God's grace.

God bless Nigeria!!!

This Ihedioha Loss has really cause PDP heart attack. I can't understand this. Fasting and Prayer for judgement finalize.

This is becoming ridiculous.

Wow! Inspiring experience.

God bless.

seangy4konji:
My mother left finally for England when I was 2 year and my younger sister 1.elder brother 4 years...dad would not allow us go back with mum.A step mother came in ,had her own 2 daughters and has been the one from day one taking care of this small children left behind by her husband's first wife..days of sickness,days of mad hunger,days of washing our xkothea days of getting home turee from work to start cooking or guvubg injection,days of my auaters terrible bow leg to make her walk straight..days of not allowing you to die from bad fever or dysentery..up till secondary,to university,where cousins and brothers are hustling and all to be there..cold night outside in foreign country..no cigarette no odd jobs to py rent...

After all this?I will now meet a lady that would tell me make my step mum not visit me?or my brothers because she want privacy

Haaaa. Forget it.

Baby we glorify almighty God for his grace upon your life.

Thank God.

You are absolutely right.

And that's why we say it is better to have an understanding agreement about the timing of visiting or staying instead of saying No One must visit or stay.

I like your understanding on what we're looking at.
Bless you

majestique:
I am not against a man or woman caring for their extended family. what I'm against is relatives from both side choking a newly married couple. they can come visit from time to time but not staying too long especially if the couple is struggling with resources. with time when God blesses their hustle and they move to a bigger apartment, extended families can extend their stay.

If you are convinced that this suits you no one can force you to change.

But believe bro, no man is an Island.

Keeping people off is preparing for your own time of being Kept Off as life is unpredictable sometimes

Nwanna2588:
As for me, I like both my own and my woman relations to keep off.

That's exactly my point brother.

They would indisputably win our hearts. There's no magic in that.

God bless you.

Jman06:
You're really wise ma'am!

The easiest way a lady can win my heart forever is to love my siblings and mum! In fact, I'll go extra miles to make such a lady the happiest wife on earth.

I have come a long way with my family. We've been through thick and thin, cried and laughed together for a very long time.

No woman can restrain my lovely people from coming to my house. I'll try to emphasize that fact to any lady I'll be getting married to.

What is wrong with traveling. I don't understand.

truthsayer2:
typical of an asslicker,bro...you are overqualified for this work,the way you carry on with the asslicking work amazes me,Nothing this government does is wrong to you

if this post of yours and many other gets to the presidency..they make give you a National award,and make you National Leader of Apc zombies through out the whole federation

Save Journey Our President Buhari and Excellencies the Governors.

God bless Nigeria!!!

Wow! Another Revelation.
No Family will never manipulate a man against his own family (Children and Wife) I add

youwanbanme:
Have you seen any man so tied to his family that he neglects his own immediate family (children & wife) never! becos no family will neva manipulate a man against his own children, buh i av seen so many wives that turn there hubby against his own family n when trouble comes these women flee.
A real man wil only take advice frm his wife or relatives but he wil decide what is best.

Certainly I must do that and I am doing so.

Siberry:
Yea keep the same joyful energy when your wife's relations come visiting or staying.

You are Right on.
May God bless you all

NELLY1990:
My in-laws comes after my own heart. I love my husbands relatives like they are my very own. I know we have individual differences but come on if they don’t visit who will? Emergency days can come o and we need them and even if emergency days never comes they are still precious to our hearts. My opinion

It's not easy to pay this sacrifice in becoming a good wife that accommodate.

My wife inorder to mitigate the pressure associated with my Mum's visit has to plan it during children's holiday. So as to avoid the stress of children's school runs of waking early, preparing other things for their school etc. And this was agreed by us and it worked for us. Less complain, Less stress, though some visit could come as emergency and would be treated as such.

Sometimes My mum could assist her in some task like bathing the children not always anyway. But for Africa magic you can't seperate them...lol

She has come and now she has gone back to her husband house. The visit isn't FOR EVER, so why are some women seeing visit or to stay as not acceptable is not appropriate and they should change.

You said it all IT'S JUST AWHILE. May your children and family continue to see women such like you as golden vessels even in your advance age. Amen

Pearl05:
I dont have any help so the whole work was on me. From going to mkt, cooking, cleaning, washing ( have machine but prefer hand wash for baby clothes) the only thing mum does was to eat her meal, bath herself and watch her Africa magic. Not even to bath the little man.

By the time she left everyone was saying that we took good care of mum as she was looking fresh and plump.
And I was the opposite but I just said to myself it's just for a while.

So touching, it is Well.
God would bless you with wives that would be respectful to you and recognize your family members. Amen

ngddon:
My late brother's wife chase us ,hate every member of my family also assassinated him in her village .As if that was not enough ,she don't even want the children to come close to the husband family.

So touching, it is Well.
God would bless you with wives that would be respectful to your and recognize your family members. Amen

ngddon:
My late brother's wife chase us ,hate every member of my family also assassinated him in her village .As if that was not enough ,she don't even want the children to come close to the husband family.

Wow!Fantastic!! fantastic!!! fantastically can't express the way I feel with this Inspirational knowledge from you.
God would make our families better and we shall enjoy our children children. Amen

SweetyZinta:
Where are we taking this world to? Why do people enjoy cutting off other people in their lives? Either peaceful or troublesome Inlaws should be welcomed. Everyone should just know their boundaries and maintain their lane. My paternal and maternal uncles and aunts still visit and assist us in any way they can. People should not forget their source/root. Always remember that old age is there to treat you as you have treated yourself when you were younger. If you good, good you shall see, if you cut people off, boredom will kill you. I just noticed that the people who cut off relatives from their home, their children also desert them when they have made it. Be Nice my people. A word is enough for the wise!!!

You are right, but this is in most cases an exception. And our concerns is on the general considerations not exceptions.

ImaIma1:
And you guys are here back lashing women . Just see what you wrote...this is exactly the issue that causes the issues between wives and mums-inlaw. Someone coming to run your house.

Amtruth
Bigiyaro
youwanbanme

Can you guys see that it's not peculiar to women. See your fellow man

Hmmmmn!!!
Food for thought.

youwanbanme:
Its understandable if a man is tided to his family like apron blood is thicker , buh when he is tided to his wife apron ... then such males aint fit to be a father cos they produce losers.
Madam marriage is not a war or power tussle nor contest of ownership, when ur children grow n another woman keep ur son @ distance from you then you wil weep n rmember these day.

Wow! This is becoming more Educative.
Thanks for the contribution

gforce5:
Marriage in this part of the world is a complicated issue. We tend to mix religious doctrines and african culture into how a marriage is supposed to be and the result ends up causing so much problems for the parties involved. Nigerian men tend to use the religious doctrine of "a wife must submit to her husband" while forgetting that a man must respect and adore his wife as well. Women use the doctrine of "a man must leave his father and mother to join his wife and become one" to have control over the man. The African culture of "when you marry someone, you marry their family" does not help matters.

The key issue is having a balance. It is very important to have a balance between your wife and family. Another problem is social class. Rich people have extended family issues but it is not amongst themselves. Most family surrounding food and lack of space in the house is due to poverty. People from affluent/hard working families do not have these kind of issues. In fact, the worst thing that can happen to anyone (especially a woman) is to marry a someone from a very poor background. They are very parasitic in nature. Always want to take. Most guys from poor backgrounds rely on the "headship" aspect to reinforce their "authority" in the home. They cannot compete with their wife's family and as such, can only rely on the "alpha male" aspect to maintain their dignity. Women from poor homes are just as bad.

Balance is a key issue. Women in general are selfish and very competitive by nature. You just have to be smart when dealing with them if you want to have a long life.

It's good to Appreciate what is Good and Worthwhile. Weldone guys.

God bless Nigeria!!!

True talk.
Great conversation.

BRATISLAVA:
I still don't see an issue if they live together forever. In some cultures that is allowed and the way marriages are conducted. The person I quoted believes it's only poor people who live together. Wrong thinking. You don't own the person. Things like "leave my husband for me" are pointless talks because the man did not drop from Mars. He knew those people all his life. He got married to you, he doesn't have to shut them out of his life because of you.

I am gradually coming to understand that women who don't allow relations to visit or stay with them are not truly at peace with themselves because of fear of Insecurity, and are very aggressive and attacking about things unnecessarily.
Thereby giving themselves some sort of self inflicted pressure.

And for the good women most of us are fortunate to have I pray the Lord grant you the grace to raise More generations of your Likes.
I have a daughter and I pray she be like her mum, so wonderful.

For the women against the visiting or staying, I pray you look beyond the present and think of the future.
Because no man is an Island!!!

TheKingMurphy:
The problem here is that most men don't know that 85% of women are very selfish. When a 'woman' marries, she looks for every means to cajole her husband into enimity with his siblings and extended family. They believe (their twisted minds) that their husband's relations who moulded him into what he is today are pests and should stay as far away as possible. I have seen women who get so angry that their husband helped a relative with something as pertinent as school fees or hospital bills. NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD BE THIS WAY!

Dear Women, those of you who have love, kindness, patience and affection for your husband's relatives, May God continue to bless you. You are indeed rare. We can only hope that your daughters would emulate your Grace, Charisma and Candor. We are privileged to have you in our society.
For those of you who hate extended family of your spouse, it is my candid advice that you change, have a rethink and submit to God. In his infinite mercies, he will purify your heart and give you true Joy whenever you come across your husband's relatives.

Easy!Easy!! Easy!!!

Adedayobusayo12:
Why so pained? I am speaking for myself, any in-law wey no get sense will be thrown out. If its from my side to, hubby should do the needful. Them no born anyone to come my home to cause fight between me and my hubby or boss me around. That road to your village wey you forget, I go give you the map, that's if you are so educated to study it, if not, Ikeja under bridge is available. How can you be homeless and be rude/useless/unfortunate at the same time? Howwww??

Is good at least they can stay but not unnecessary.
Nice one, instead of like No Visit or No Stay

mechanics:
Yes na.

Hmmmm

mechanics:
But they should not stay longer than necessary.

Take it easy Bro, she would not live your house. But you said it all, marriage must not separate us from our families who contributed in paying the price for us.

Ilufoye00:
My family first, back then in school my younger brother was responsible for the payment of my school fees, as he was into handwork which I left after gaining admission.
So will my wife now take decision that is barbaric to the beautiful relationship I and my relation have build before getting married to her.....she will live my house, my relation first.

God bless Nigeria!!!

God would continue to protect and guide our military to overcome this war.

God bless Nigeria!!!

Thanks for the Commendation

Fadoria:
i love this write up,i dont joke with them cos i know what they ve done for me through out the stages of my life ....