₦airaland Forum

Nhazeru:
Nobody is protecting any abuser

I have called him out countless times more than you. Even came here and defaved him at one point when he was abusing Bella. I'm not twisting any story, What I heard and watched is what I'm reporting and I still stand by word that most of the things she said doesn't add up.

You are looking for holes in the story because you're an abuse apologist. Someone who's clearly the victim of an abuse we all saw playing out in the house has confirmed a rumor that had been floating around, yet you're seeing imaginary holes in the story. If her story hasn't been consistent, bring up the inconsistencies word for word.

Many abuse apologists on this thread. How sad.

Nhazeru:
Naah.. She said more than this

Go and watch again, thou some of the words were censored but she said it

You go o and watch it. She said he flung her laptop to the wall. Her story has been consistent. You're trying to twist her story to find loopholes to protect an abuser. How pathetic. It be fellow women always doing to most to cover up for abusers.

Amya:
The craziest thing is that I don't even think that ex has completely let go despite all she went through while with him. He still has some powers over her. She probably still believes he can be straighten out if other factors come in. The reason I say this is because, they're still in communication and he even spoke to her days before he came into the show. She still hasn't identified that he's a narcissist. She might think that he just has issues and will change. People with saviours complex as I'm sure she has always get riled in. There's a reason why there's a word called 'hoover' in narcissist lingo. Coined after the Hoover vacuum, hoovering is a calculating scheme commonly used by narcissists to "suck" you up into their orbit and get you back into their life. It's an energetically draining dynamic that perpetuates a toxic pattern of idealization, devaluation, and discardment

Another reason I think the ex might still be hoovered back is because she hid the YouTube post she made in 2020. If not the fact that the post blew up and another YouTuber used her content in psychology video, I'm sure we would never have known about her abuse. She's clearly still trying to protect him.

From her posts, this already played out. Hopefully with this present blow up on SM she would never be riled back in.

The mistake most people make is thinking they can change narcissist. Thinking they just had to do something or change something about themselves to get the perfect person they believe is inside. But the truth is narcissist never change. It will take deep introspection for narcissist to see they have a problem. Introspection that they simply aren't capable of, so yeah, narcissist never change. I hope the Okagbue will protect their daughter/sister from all these

Nhazeru:
Go to instablog and watch the full video, she said he grab her head and hit on the wall, she said so many other things about physical abuse and how she got the leg injury.

All this she didn't state in her write up yesterday but only told us the exact same thing word to word people used in describing Sheggz and what we watched on TV.

She said he flung her laptop to the wall and started chasing her. She fell down the stairs and broke her leg.

Amya:
I'd earlier said i was going to expatiate more on the narcissistic traits i see in Sheggs and maybe educate someone too in the process. Who knows, i might even save a life today.

Narcissists have a particular image they want to project. They would do anything to be seen in the light they want to be seen in. They want to be seen as the perfect person, the perfect spouse, the perfect parent etc. The fabric of their very own existence is created by others view of them. They're empty inside and need a lot of external validation, adulation and attention. If anything gets in the way of the perfect picture they want to project, then the blame goes to anybody but them. They would throw anyone under the bus, start the most ridiculous smear campaign, do any and everything to ensure their white remain unstained. It's not them, it's you. lol.

Narcissists have three Phase they're universally known with. The Love-bombing Phase, The Devaluation Phase and Finally, the Discard Phase. The Phases are sometimes one off, or go around in vicious cycles.

In the Love-bombing Phase, It just feels too good to be true. The target is loaded with over the top amount of affection. flattery, praise, very early in the relationship in other to win over the target. But most important of all, even the above listed is that they say exactly what their target wants to hear.

.

Now that he knows he has her in the palm of his hands, her moves for phase 1 round 2 ALIENATION. Narcissist will never be successful in being narcissists if they're unable to completely alienate their prey. He's not so comfortable with her creating deep bonds with others, He doesn't want her to dance with the guys etc. As a Narcissists succeeds with the alienating their prey, they proceed further.

They invalidate your feeling. I've seen this play out with Sheggs and Bella. When she tells him about something he did that she did not like, he blames her for feeling that way or causing it. Narcissist are self consumed individuals. Their needs come first. They like to have power and control over you and make you subservient to their needs. It's always all about them. Your emotions and priorities are something they don't care about. They will make you feel less then any chance they get. They will say you're naïve and that there's something wrong with you. They would keep trying to push and shape you into what they think their perfect mate should be like. You dare not be yourself. They keep on pushing your boundaries and if you keep adjusting just because you hate wahala and love peace, thinking they'll leave you alone. For wia! They'll never stop pushing and pushing and pushing. They slowly chip away at your self esteem and sense of self, till you lose yourself.

Unfortunately, there a lot of people who have found themselves in that vicious narcissistic cycle and can't get away. They begin to truly believe they're the ones with the actual problem because they've been gaslit to the moon. They keep thinking maybe if they do more or become better their spouse will change, but no, they simple don't change. The Narcissist will call it a day when they no longer have a need for you and brutally kick you to the curb.

When I wrote this piece, I didn't know about the abusive situation with the ex. Everything she wrote is sort of confirming what I already knew. I'm happy she has come out to say all this because because I truly believed that she might be suckered back in. But with this new development, I know the bridge has been burnt for good. A narcissist can never change. They only pretend to and come back to inflict more abuse.

Nhazeru:
The girl is a chronic and pathetic liar!

Some of the things she said is not making sense, so many contradictions

The original video she posted in 2020 she said he hit her head on the wall

Today she is saying a different thing

Lol. You now how to make things up to defend your fave. Her story never changed for one minute. It has always been he was chasing her, she fell down the stairs and broke her leg.

Geezeem:
The bolded is not too clear to me
But I will attempt to clarify what I think you are commenting on

The ex brought a physical abuse angle to this which sensationalise the whole thing... I am saying NO WAY!

Even in law court, physical abuse allegation must be proved with evidence

The fact that the accusation went from "he broke her leg, to she fell running from him" has casted a shadow on whatever gist is out there from the ex

I've never in any way or form denied that Bella wasn't verbally and psychologically abused. We all watched

I was only initially sceptical about the narcissistic tag
The element of abuse we didn't see, I must take with a pinch of salt

I hope I am clearer now

Had the story changed? Hadn't it always been that they were having an argument he started chasing her and she fell down the stairs? That has always been the story from the 2019 video I eventually watched.

safarigirl:
Anybody that was waiting for Bemi to even corroborate anything to know that Sheggz Olusemo is an abuser, has zero knowledge of abuse, or may even be abusive themselves and lack any form of introspection.


Whether Bemi came with thread or not, there are literally ARTICLES and STUDIES that align Sheggz behaviour on this show to ABUSE.


There is a reason why 16 guys came on this show, at least 8 of those guys were involved in Relationships, and ONLY SHEGGZ OLUSEMO WAS CALLED AN ABUSER.

In the history of BBNaija, over 40 guys have walked through Big Brother's House, and NONE of those guys have been accused of being abusive.


CROSS came into the SYE house with an allegation that he spikes girls drinks, he reached Day 72, AT NO TIME IN HIS STAY, DID THAT ACCUSATION STICK. Nobody asked him about that shit in his entire interviews, because IT WAS UNSUBSTANTIATED.

If an allegation that bad sticks on you, then, it is definitely not smoke without fire.


All these "Why didn't she do this...", "Why now....?"


The point is that if Sheggz did not display abusive behaviour, We would not be here today.

I and some others on this thread clocked Sheggs very early on in the show, even before his abusive self began to show. I did a mini dissertation on Narcissism explaining how they operate by love-bomb, disvalue and discard all in a vicious cycle. This was all before I even knew about his ex's situation. When I eventually watched the YouTube, it still confirmed everything I wrote anyway.

Geezeem:
By the way I hope it isn't the ex he had threatened Bella a couple of times to go back to?

I am not an adekunle fan, if I were, I would say she is just jealous.... a scorned girl trying to pull the young man down. That She watched him propose to another girl and was planning a wedding on TV and is out for his blood

But I am not kunle's fan

I won't say this or trivialize this issue.

I just won't take her serious. There is a reason matters of abuse need evidence to be proven. We need receipts

Sheggz is a reflection of her personality and taste in men. You dated someone for 3 years and know him to be a broke ass fake footballer but stayed there



I am actually mad!

I will take her more serious when she call herself out on the role she played even as a victim

This statement is wrong on every level. I hope you delete please.

Geezeem:
By the way I hope it isn't the ex he had threatened Bella a couple of times to go back to?

I am not an adekunle fan, if I were, I would say she is just jealous.... a scorned girl trying to pull the young man down. That She watched him propose to another girl and was planning a wedding on TV and is out for his blood

But I am not kunle's fan

I won't say this or trivialize this issue.

I just won't take her serious. There is a reason matters of abuse need evidence to be proven. We need receipts

Sheggz is a reflection of her personality and taste in men. You dated someone for 3 years and know him to be a broke ass fake footballer but stayed there



I am actually mad!

I will take her more serious when she call herself out on the role she played even as a victim

My dear Geezeem. I told you weeks earlier that I doubt you knew much about narcissism and how narcissists operate. You statement highlighted above just confirmed it. For the fact that you might be ignorant about this trait, I will hope for you sake that you never have an encounter with a narcissist. They will break you and drain you. It just isn't a walk in the park with those.

InSanety:
Let Sheggz sue her for defamation if she is lying.


Everything she has said is easily corroborated by his utterances, videos on the internet, pictures and even his abysmal behaviour on the show.


Everything she accused him of doing, he has done it all to Bella. Same pattern. Same MO

It is you that needs to go and rest, all of you that support abusers. Wicked people

Anyone that excuses Sheggs behaviour is most probably an abuser themselves.

Happy my Hermes made it to the penultimate week. He's a good kid and will go far. He will always be my winner.


For the finalist, may the best person win!

This season is still one of my best even as my fave is out. No hard feelings.

tooexclusive:
Bryann is sha winning... getting at most (25-26)% against these housemates up this week is quite commendable

You don't know maths
. The top 4 are all in different variations of 15%

Well it's greatly consoling that by my calculations, the top 4 were all in 15%

Dannyxy:
Hope you guys realize how strong Bryan is, measure last week votes with this week percentage, the only change is Bryann…

Hope you guy know how strong and competitive this finals will be…

Bryann fans I call upon you all to destroy the polls, you are the strongest voting fan base this season…

3 people sharing 46% has Bryan at 16% at the most this week..

Chiefheywhy:
Please leave all the beef with team Bryan aside and vote Bryan for the mulla . Biko .

Lol.

My sweet Hermes. Go forth and prosper. You're a star!

Racheal should go blow her nose. So irritated by her dragging in her catarrh i had to change the channel.

Even as it's days to finals, there's still no clear winner. The last two seasons deprived me of that speculative rush as there was already a clear winner in week 3. They almost made me give up on the show completely.

I won't lie, I love this season!

Sanqa:
How do Hermes fans feel now that seemingly next week will be a 2horse race? Looks like neutrals will pick either or in a bid to make sure that the other does not win. There was a time I thought he had the capacity to unseat one of the top 2 but these days even his fans have disappeared. Give him a chance, vote hard for him, bella too.

Hermess fans are not all about buying twitter polls. If he's getting 18- 20% votes on polls organically, I can tell you he stands a good chance at winning the darn thing.

Aww Chi chi is crying.

kowema:
https://twitter.com/bubeson_/status/1573346484812238848?s=21

Eeghe this is for you, with Love from Groovy.

Groovy, his sisters and his mum.
See beauties.
Meanwhile they have gap tooth

With with feminine face, I knew his sisters will be gorgeous

AwkaFinest:
Individual game that the winner get to save his/her group?
Why don't the individual get to benefit from his/her wins alone?

That only happened 4 times. 2 out of which were non eviction weeks. The other 4 wins were after the merge.

AwkaFinest:
Yes it's an individual game, but we have individuals from 2 houses. It's just like having a red card in football then you are expecting to do well when you are outnumbered. Use your head....

Remember you wrote that no level 2 person was able to win hoh. Then I ask, level 2 keeps reducing week in week out and you keep expecting them to win when they are outnumbered?
You go to war with 10 arsenals and your rival came with 15, but still you expect those with 10 to win?

The USA today is scared of Russia not because Russia is too good, but simply because of the amount of nukes Russia got in their possession. It's a game of numbers my dear.

It's a game of common probability. 14 persons from one group playing an individual game against 10 persons from another group. Which group has the highest probability of having an individual that will/may win?

All this dogo turaci is baseless. They play as individuals. The games have been divided into two parts. On several occasions both levels had the same number of HMs in the second round and there's has been a time when level 2 had more people qualifying for round 2 and at the end of day still didnt clinch the win. Phyna won HOH when they were only 7 level 2 in the house. So as I said again, your argument is baseless.

AwkaFinest:
Which kind talk be this. Make we dey reason naaa... Each eviction of a level 2 housemate reduces the chances of a level 2 person winning the next HOH challenge due to shortage in number. If they remained same number all through then I believe we can have this conclusion.

Hoh is an individual game. It's not like they have to play with group strength.

Sixfeetbelle:
Na still the same 6 people that won it and still wants to win it. Don't you get it? If you remove this six people from level 1, nobody else there was that bothered about anything again.

There's a reason 50% is regarded as a pass mark. If 50% of that group won individual HOH, then it can be safe to say that's a very active group. Very active. They won a whopping 8 of 9 times.

Only Phyna from the whole level 2 won HOH in the last 9 weeks and I'm meant to believe they're actually more active? I don't understand *in Bella's voice*

Please keep voting for my boy Hermes
We don't want to be laughed at on Sunday.

please votes Hermes oooo. I'm pleading. God no go shame us!

badinfluence:
Eyah.. after trying and failing to prove that you're knowledgeable in music, you've finally said the truth.
Next time own your shit with your chest. Stop trolling under the guise of some faux knowledge. Just troll because you want to.. no dey shame.

If it makes you sleep better tonight.

Dannyxy:
in an industry with portable blowing and selected for next rated…

Bryann is as good as all the joeboys, fire boys, ruger, bujus, none of them can sing better than him, he has the range … just one good producer, a record label that knows what they are doing and he will blow, boy is new school Nigeria sound, and if you know music you would know this…

They all sound alike this set!!! Heck they even elm lol alike, I used to confuse joeboy with fire boy at some point, ruger, ceekay , rema, all moving sane way…

Amya, should i send you my house address, let me take you on more lessons?…

Portable does not have a future in music. He's a one hit wonder like 100's that have come and gone before him.

Joeboy, Fireboy and Ceekay are great songwriters and understand the justapoxition of sounds, harmonies and melodies. They are not production puppets rather they influence the direction the songs would go.

They are all better than Rema in opinion. Rema is a production puppet. Possibly one of those that write their songs right their in the studio with readymade beats and Igbo in hand. I can't rate him as a grade A musician because those production songs are commercial and easily moved on from.

Bryan has a decent voice but does not have them Joeboy and co level of talent. Even as a production puppet I truly don't know if he can be molded to be a hit maker. As I told Clement, I want to be pleasantly surprised if I get to be proven wrong.

badinfluence:
Again.. a whole lot of nothing.
You cannot wriggle your way out of this one. You are a troll.. a troll who has been caught. And you're the worst kind of troll.. that kind of troll who poses like an expert, but in reality is clueless.
So tell us madam producer.. as an expert, what would you advice Bryann to do to blow in the industry? Since na you dey in charge of who dey blow..

If believing I'm a troll will make you sleep better this night, do just that. I don't care. Your opinions can never affect me.

And as for advice, I don't give 2 effs about the dude why should I stress myself with what I think he could do better. He isn't my fave. He just doesn't have it. Good luck to him joining the list of BBN failed musicians. What do I care.