₦airaland Forum

watch out! those rats are humans......

masterchi:
you must return rivers state property that you have stolen by fire by force.

...NO WONDER..IT WAS SAID THAT IF YU WANA HIDE ANYTHING FROM A BLACK MAN.PUT IT IN WRITING... YU JUST COMMENTING WITHOUT DIGESTING THIS WRITE UP.

OK...NEXT PLEASE...

kilokeys:
Senate president should move a motion..
All politicians with mouth odor must be supervised for thorough brushing 4 times a day..

The Ayes have it.. Gbam

*Tinubu starts crying*

.......have yu ever stayed close to mr. tinubu to know if he has mouth odour or not?

IMAGINE WHAT THIS ONE IS SAYING

HERO OR NO HERO

Former Bayelsa State Governor, Chief Timipre
Sylva weekend declared that the decision by former
President Goodluck Jonathan to concede defeat to
President Mohammadu Buhari during the last
presidential election does not make him a hero.
He insisted that Jonathan’s attempts to scuttle the
election disqualified him from benefiting from such
heroic status.
Sylva, whose ambition of contesting for second
term was scuttled by the Peoples Democratic Party
PDP due to pressure from the former President, Dr.
Goodluck Jonathan, said though the decision to
concede defeat was inevitable and would have
been suicidal for the former President, the heroic
status is a clear show of lack of value and
indication of how cheap a man could earn such
status in Nigeria.
The former governor, who spoke in an interview in
Yenagoa said the decision by Dr. Goodluck
Jonathan to concede defeat should not be
considered an achievement but an inevitable act
from a defeated President.
He said, “For me, conceding defeat is not an
achievement. Let us take a look at the event they
tried everything to subvert and thwart. They tried to
go to court to stop the announcement of the result.
Former Minister, Orubebe, tried to stage a coup
during the announcement to allow some paid ex-
militants to invade the venue. They asked the
former Inspector-General of Police to withdraw
security from the venue to allow ex-militants invade
the venue. When all else failed, what did you expect
him to do?
“If the Super Eagles play a football match and were
defeated. They now accepted defeat. Is that an
achievement? Seriously, if this is the level where
Nigeria has descended to, it is a sorry state. We
cannot be praising somebody for losing in such
manner.
“He (Jonathan) didn’t have any other choice. What
would he have done? To kill himself? Any other
thing for Jonathan to do in Aso Rock would have
been suicide or self destruction. At that point
Jonathan also knew it.
Sylva
“What he should be saying is that at that point, he
did not self destruct. So he is now a hero? If one
can be a hero so cheaply in Nigeria,to then it is sad.
For the APC, what we considered was that there is
no need to rub the defeat in. The man is down and
we decided to humour him out of office.” source; vanguardngr

Former Bayelsa State Governor, Chief Timipre
Sylva weekend declared that the decision by former
President Goodluck Jonathan to concede defeat to
President Mohammadu Buhari during the last
presidential election does not make him a hero.
He insisted that Jonathan’s attempts to scuttle the
election disqualified him from benefiting from such
heroic status.
Sylva, whose ambition of contesting for second
term was scuttled by the Peoples Democratic Party
PDP due to pressure from the former President, Dr.
Goodluck Jonathan, said though the decision to
concede defeat was inevitable and would have
been suicidal for the former President, the heroic
status is a clear show of lack of value and
indication of how cheap a man could earn such
status in Nigeria.
The former governor, who spoke in an interview in
Yenagoa said the decision by Dr. Goodluck
Jonathan to concede defeat should not be
considered an achievement but an inevitable act
from a defeated President.
He said, “For me, conceding defeat is not an
achievement. Let us take a look at the event they
tried everything to subvert and thwart. They tried to
go to court to stop the announcement of the result.
Former Minister, Orubebe, tried to stage a coup
during the announcement to allow some paid ex-
militants to invade the venue. They asked the
former Inspector-General of Police to withdraw
security from the venue to allow ex-militants invade
the venue. When all else failed, what did you expect
him to do?
“If the Super Eagles play a football match and were
defeated. They now accepted defeat. Is that an
achievement? Seriously, if this is the level where
Nigeria has descended to, it is a sorry state. We
cannot be praising somebody for losing in such
manner.
“He (Jonathan) didn’t have any other choice. What
would he have done? To kill himself? Any other
thing for Jonathan to do in Aso Rock would have
been suicide or self destruction. At that point
Jonathan also knew it.
Sylva
“What he should be saying is that at that point, he
did not self destruct. So he is now a hero? If one
can be a hero so cheaply in Nigeria,to then it is sad.
For the APC, what we considered was that there is
no need to rub the defeat in. The man is down and
we decided to humour him out of office.” source; vanguardngr

jus wondering....

President Muham-madu Buhari’s anti-
corruption crusade appears to have taken
off in earnest barely a week after assuming
office with a stern warning to ministers not
to dabble into approving payments for
contractors.
The government came boldly yesterday with
a clear policy directive asking only the
heads of Ministries, Departments and
Agencies, MDAs not to abdicate their core
functions to ministers who are political
appointees but to do their jobs in strict
compliance with the policy guidelines of the
administration.
The Head of Service of Civil Service of the
Federation, Mr Danladi Kifasi, made the new
position of the government known at a
media briefing in Abuja.
According to the Head of Service of the
Federation, the government wants to keep
the political class away from issues of
finance so that development of our country
can be sustained.
He said: “If a minister travels out and
payment is due, we cannot afford to wait for
the ministers to come back before we pay.”
Findings by Saturday Vanguard revealed
that the HoSF was compelled to make the
clarifications following a clash between
permanent secretaries of major Federal
Government ministries and former ministers
in the Jonathan government over the
payment of contractors.
Saturday Vanguard learnt that most
permanent secretaries and directors of
accounts in the ministries and MDAs fell out
with many of the immediate past ministers
following their refusal to pay contractors
favoured by them for jobs approved and
awarded through the backdoor by the
ministers in their last effort to make quick
money out of the system.
The clash between a former minister and a
serving permanent secretary is said to have
degenerated into a near major scandal in
one of the major Federal Government
ministries in Abuja which deals with land
and development of infrastructure.
The minister was reported to have hurriedly
approved the award of many contracts for
companies said to be close to him and later
ordered the permanent secretary to pay the
affected contractors, an order, which the
civil servant bluntly turned down, thereby
entering into the bad books of the former
minister.
To reverse the trend as the Buhari
government takes off, the HoSF, warned
that henceforth, no permanent secretary
should allow themselves to be misdirected
by any minister in the award and payment
for contracts.
Kifasi who cleared what he described as a
misconception of political appointees to
approve payment for contracts, made it
clear that approval of payments for
contracts are strictly the jurisdiction of
accounting officers or directors of the
various ministries.
The Head of Service, who was apparently in
support of the refusal of permanent
secretaries to pay contractors approved for
payment by out-gone ministers, explained
that both the Procurement Act and extant
government circulars clearly define the
roles of the civil servants relating to
contract awards and payment.
Kifasi said, “The President has said that his
administration will concentrate on policy
issues and so we civil servants are re-
directing our efforts and minds towards
achieving or aligning with the president’s
directive.
“Payments are normally approved by the
accounting officers. In a parastatal, it is
either the managing director or the director-
general. In the ministry it is the permanent
secretary and not the minster.
“In the procurement process, ministers do
not approve either. It is the Ministerial
Tenders Board that sits to consider and
approve contracts within their approval
threshold. If it is beyond the Board, it goes
to the Federal Executive Council.
“The only thing a minister does is that he
signs the council memo for the procurement
that goes to the Federal Executive Council.
For the Ministerial Tenders Board which is
usually chaired by the Permanent
Secretary; the Permanent Secretary sends
his report and the minutes of the tenders
board to the minister for his concurrence
and endorsement. That is their role
“For instance, if ministers were asked to be
approving payments, now that there are no
ministers will work then stop? So it is
actually a misinformation.”
Beyond finance, the HoSF warned civil
servants that the warning by President
Buhari for them to change their attitude to
work should be taken seriously as lateness
to work and other acts inimical to the
service would not be tolerated any longer.
“Consequently, permanent secretaries,
Directors, Chief executives of parastatals
and agencies are to take appropriate steps
to address this situation. All public servants
are to note that measures as enshrined in
the Public Service Rules will be enforced on
erring officers,” Kifasi warned.
Credit: vanguardngr

QUIET AMAZING

I laughed after reading this, think I should share
A little humour
Marriage Software
This is what a guy wrote to a Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded
my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
found that the new program began unexpected Child
Processing and also took up a lot of space and
valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In
addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during systems initialization
and then it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf
5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system
whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected
"Soccer 6.3" always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs
instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background whilst attempting to run any of my
favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but
uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you
please help?
.... The Systems Analyst replied:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife
1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is
merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT
PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything
on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not
designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall,
delete or purge the program files from the System
once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or
Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more
problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support
and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it
Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you
can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever
you think has caused them, you must run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and
avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will
freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\
FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually
hope that the operating system will return to
normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance
programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates
5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\
UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out
Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has
already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary
2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand
3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported
Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost
certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,
Systems Analyst.

dont know why people wont voice their opinion and relax...they rather want to insult others

By Zacchaeus Adebayo
The event of Saturday, May 23 in which some All
Progressives Congress, APC, Senators-elect
abandoned the retreat organised for them by their
party in Abuja to announce the adoption of two
northern Senators as President and Deputy Senate
President is a big goof. The action of the Senate
Unity Forum, as the group is called, is strange,
insensitive, overtly reprehensible, and bereft of a
sound sense of history.
While it has always been the norm to give every
part of the country a sense of belonging right from
the days of the nation’s founding fathers to the
present era, this Senate ‘Unity’ Forum believes key
offices in the three arms of government could be
occupied as follows: President Muhammadu Buhari
(North West), Senate President Ahmed Lawan
(North East), Deputy Senate President George
Akume (North Central), Deputy Speaker (North
West), Chief Justice of Nigeria, Hon. Justice
Mahmoud Mohammed (North East), President of the
Court of Appeal, Hon. Justice Zainab Bulkachuwa,
( North East), and Chief Judge of the Federal High
Court, Hon. Justice Ibrahim Auta (North Central).
Simply put, they are proposing a Federal
Government of Northern Nigeria. This is thoughtless
and obscene.
Moreover, the APC must be reminded that it is
gambling away its goodwill so fast and its lack of
sense of justice and equity could be the straw that
might break its back.
Even with all of its excesses, the Peoples
Democratic Party, PDP, never ever went this far. In
2011 when the party did not do well at all in the
National Assembly elections in the South West, the
party still zoned the House Speakership to them.
Although that plan did not materialize, it at least
tried to give the people a sense of belonging.
Concerning the Senate in particular, I am deeply
surprised that the APC leaders are playing the
ostrich, burying their heads in the sand of greed and
power-grab instead of taking a realistic evaluation
of the situation. One, APC is inheriting a highly
fragmented country flowing from 2015 general
election. More than anything, it needs to show some
sense of sacrifice to be able to weld the whole
country together.
Two, with 59 Senators (that, minus late Senator
Zanna) against PDP’s 49, the APC cannot just do
what it likes with the Senate because it does not
enjoy the kind of majority PDP used to enjoy.
Therefore, I thought a party that genuinely cares for
Nigeria beyond merely grabbing the levers of
power, a party that wants stability in the National
Assembly would have looked the way of the PDP in
the South-East or South-South in its search for a
Deputy Senate President.
Some would wonder if the PDP itself could have
been that magnanimous. One can’t be too sure, but
that is the reasonable thing to do in this
circumstance. That is also why Nigerians elected
APC- to change the way we do things.
Adebayo writes from Ibadan. vanguard news

GR8 move i guess

T MUHAMADU BUHARI WITH THE UNITED
STATES SECRETARY OF STATE, MR JOHN KERRY
AT THE 2015 PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION IN
ABUJA ON FRIDAY
By Levinus Nwabughiogu
ABUJA – Determined to end the Boko Haram
insurgency in Nigeria, President Mohammadu
Buhari will on Wednesday and Thursday visit the
Republics of Niger and Chad respectively.
The trip which would be Buhari’s first foreign
movement since he assumed office on May 29 was
Monday confirmed to Journalists by his spokesman,
Mallam Garba Shehu.
According to Shehu, Buhari will first visit Niger on
Wednesday, pass the night there before proceeding
to Chad republic on Thursday.
“The president has Niger and chad ahead of him.
This will be his first trip outside the country in
obvious matters of security”, he said.
It will be recalled that Buhari on his Inauguration
Day promised to tackle insecurity head on.
Meanwhile, the president held a closed door
meeting with the National Security Adviser, NSA,
Col. Sambo Dasuki (rtd) at Defence.
Details of the meeting were not made available as
the NSA refused to comment on the subject of the
meeting when asked by Journalists.
SOURCE...VANGUARD NEWS

that jigawa state....so beautiful

NEXT TOPIC PLEASE.

next please

nice one.