₦airaland Forum

No.

It's unethical.

Period.

Capitalism is too deep on this one.

You really need an iphone13?

You are much more beautiful without make-up.

I love men with lean yet muscular biceps that show he's been working out but too much of muscle bulks.

Broad shoulders with great little chest muscles are great too.

Strong thighs as well.

And of course the proportionate length and girth of his dick.

Eyes, lips and jaws are something I look at too.

A typical martial artist type.

You guys have to be careful. Things you display ever so lavishly without a single sign of struggle nor wisdom from what you have gone through to get there trulu affect the mentality of young boys who are struggling beyond your imagination.

That mentality is stemmed to the very core of your being.

Billionaires made their living through sweat. I always tell my husband.
You dont dream the sky suddenly breaks open to rain money on you.

You work your ass off to get there. You develop a habit of waking up at 4 am to start your morning routine of fitness and read every single day. You are away from your wife and kids and work long hours to get there. You became a master of finance and investments to improve cashflow.

You know the benz you're owing has tax and maintenance fee that you must have a solid cashflow to keep.
You build huge houses and they come with high maintenance and electricity bills too.

When you struggle to get there, you don't bother to show off. Coz you'd know better to care more to maintain them. You became wise with your money.

So those yahoo boys who never sweat to get there will be most likely cannot keep the wealth wisely and therefore do not have the capacity to improve better.

I can only imagine how it feels to receive tons of insults from men in this forum..

Naija women, you need to amp up your game and start being financially independent!
Stop complaining about these insults. They don't do anything to raise your pride.

Be financially independent and give em your middle finger.

You dont need airtime from these men!!
Don't need clothes, dont need hair do, from these men.

When you get married, go and contribute too financially!
Bleep these snob guys!

I had never asked anything financially to my ex's ever in my life. There was one time an ex gifted me quite sum to fix my teeth even tho I wasn't asking. When we broke up, and realizing how much of an asshole he was I fuckin wanted to return all of it (I couldnt because he wasnt accepting it, So I burned it to heartbreak travel - which end up making me fight with my travel mate, btw).

Right from the start, deep down inside, you are not seeing any solid future with her, abi?

You have wasted her time.

It is mandatory for ladies to wait before having sex with a man. Really.

To avoid this kind of shit.

First, remove your belief in supranatural force on this one.

Second, remove the drive of money-making out of this woman.

Third, remove your lust off of her.

Fourth, remove yourself from her periphery.

Good luck.

That was a stupid move, my friend. That's harassment.

Now matter how good they look, keep your mouth shout around private parts. That's basic ethic.

But, I never understand any other reason women flaunt their cleavage (if she did).

I promise myself not to give conditional love for my son.

If parents give you conditional love.. what hope will there be in this world?

Your mom has become a test from God, brother.

Wow.. she doesn't act like your mother. Even a step mom can do better than that.

But I do find a little cringe for you talk badly about your mum despite how much I can understand how you feel.

Did you do something in the past that made her feel so jarred about you? Because that's the only reason I can think of..

Maybe you should talk openly pour all your heart out to her and asked what if there was anything that you did that makes her being her..

ImaIma1:
This op is a joke. This is something both of you should come up with together. You can't just create a plan and expect her to follow it. What kind of marriage will you have? You making the decisions first and telling her later?

I think that's a proposed plan. His idea. She can have a look at it and check her own wage to if this is viable for her, she can negotiate and try to speak her own ideas and input. She actually can also share her proposed plan of sharing household chores and other things like time out to spend with friends, etc. Only which you both can decide.

It is a proposal. Surely further discussion and approvals need to be made.

Instead, she walked off. There isn't a sign of cooperation coming from her.

Biggie2000:
So, you didn't read the part where the OP said he is earning 300K abi? Is it his fault she's earning 80k? You want a man that is earning 300K to drop 50k for vacation, pay rent, 40K for contribution per month, pay rent, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? Kilode?!!! Do you want to kill him? It's still the same man that will fuel the car, fuel the generator, buy cooking gas, pay to repair things in the house, she will still ask the same man for money to make hair, money for data, money to send to her family members, money for transport, etc So, where do you expect the man to see money to take care of himself?. Abi, you feel that men enjoying looking haggard? You think he will not like to spend on himself? Most of you females always make plans for yourselves only; you don't care about your boyfriend. You don't care if your boyfriend is looking tattered, as long as you females are looking fine. Most of you females are just entitled and stingy people. Any woman that doesn't earn enough money to handle atleast 30% of the family responsibilities, should kindly get the fvck out. Please, don't allow the door hit you on your way out.

Lmao! This is entertaining �

realmatters:
. I put her in her place, I humble her. I make her understand in life you can't have it all.

Ok.

Non-relevant to the topic but I noticed you put a full stop before the last two responses where you didn't in the previous ones.

I wonder why.

Abfinest007:
You should have asked her in what way , will she support you ,not you dividing it .you can even make a list of all the expenses then let her chose

This is more considerate and generous. Nice to find out.

Nice plan.
Fair deal.

I don't know why she waltz outta the door.

I like men who plans things out. She is missing out.

realmatters:
. Oh, you support they have the right to choose, I am okay with that. In the same way I have a choice to choose.

Yea but what I don't get is why did you bother to lecture the lady?

You cared too much.

realmatters:
It was a test to know her interest. Plain and simple.

Any lady, when they are asked to choose between an employed or unemployed man, surely choose the latter. Same goes with man, when asked to choose a unattractive and attractive looking woman, will choose the latter.

I still don't see any solid base you move from.

realmatters:
I lie to the lady that I am looking for a job, I told her I have a degree. She blows hot that she can't date a jobless man. I sent her my working Id card, show her money in one of my accounts then I put her where she belongs. She calls to apologize, I told her she is a leftover that I can't stoop low to be with her.

So you lied and tested at the get go?

Smh

A fragile foundation to build something significant, bruv. Just sayin'

Smh

A laptop is too much. He is not well invested in you. Are you friend-zoning him and expect him to treat you as his girlfriend?

He is not wicked. He genuinely asked for a new year gift. A type of gift that is approariate for the type of relationship you are having.

And you're mad because he is not giving it to you?

Your request doesn't make sense.

His request makes sense as that type of gift is for someone who is willing to invest more.

Ojikutumomiage:
Wo arábìnrin

I am also tired of this Yahoo boys lifestyle, they are romantic online and moneymatic offline.
I am also tired for your greediness when you saw the handwritings. You took the moneymatic and let say Sig. Exciting lifestyle they live.... Well, let me leave you. Now you are an emotional being who must feel loved like a kid. Meanwhile the yahoo syndrome has made the man jump onto another, you're indecisive. You feel like opening the goal post for on idle boy or a married that doesn't mind I'm only asking...
My advice tho, Wo My dear, ọlọrun a sho e, toju ọmọ e. That journey is not worth it. Your child should be a priority and enjoy your life.
Yahoo Bois are disease of our today society.

To be honest, I don't get what you were writing about..

Tired of my greediness when I saw the handwritings??
Emotional beings who must feel loved like a kid??

Well, yahoobois is one thing.. what about that hushpuppi..

Nigerian scams are world-wide and so robust, bruv.
WHY??

Dannyyoung26:
So why are you giving yourself issues, inform the police in your country incase he tried anything funny and leave him alone.
He's not responsible..

Trust me, if he hit huge amount of money, he will leave your country the next day. I bet you.

Use your head(Brain)

Nah. I am not reporting him. He has never hit me nor doing something violent. He has never violated the law here either other than of course for overstaying (and that's due to lack of money either). And I don't need to put more problems on top of all his problems by calling him out. It doesn't solve anything.

If he hits huge amount of money and leave me, so be it. I don't really care. He can go rich if he makes that jackpot, I don't give a flying Bleep about that money.
Least he can provide for himself. Not me providing for him coz as a woman, it will make me see him less as a man.

I am trying to talk him out of this deceitful job and get an honest living even though it means to work as a bricklayer.

Dannyyoung26:
He can never take you as his wife, rather as a baby mama.
I'm telling you reality.
Legal guys self are not serious talk more of illegal.....
They've given you the best advice
Do you have your child here in Nigeria?

Since our marriage hasn't been made legally, our son is legally my son. His name is not placed in his birth certificate.

No, in my country. Never been to Nigeria. He hasn't even come back to his country ever since he got here due to lack of money.

pussymonger1:
GOD WILL HELP YOU DEAR . IF HE IS READY TO GO LEGIT I BET IT WITH YOU , EVERYTHING WILL START WORKING FINE FOR HIM . YOU CANT USE SCAMMED MONEY THEY WAY YOU WILL USE THE MONEY YOU MADE BY SWEATING .IF HE GOES LEGIT AND STAY AWAY FROM FRAUD I BET U WILL SEE HOW GOOD AND FLOURISH IS LIFE WILL BE . I HAVE A BROTHER HERE IN NIGERIA DOING THE SAME HE WAS DOING , I TALKED TO HIM LAST YEAR AND HE HEED TO MY WORDS , HE STARTED TRANSPORTATION JOB ...[ BOLT DRIVER } EARLY LAST YEAR AND NOW HE IS DOING FINE FOR HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY , HE SPEND WISELY AND ALWAYS HAVE PLANS FOR TOMMOROW . WE JUST DONR TALKING SOME HOURS AGO HE'S PLANNING TO SELL HIS CORROLA AND MOVE TO FRANCE . FRAUD WONT GIVE U AN INSIGHT TO GOODIES OF LIFE , FRAUD GIVES ILLUSIONS * 10000000.. ONCE AGAIN GOD WILL BE WITH YOU . ADVISE HIM TO GO LEGIT , STAY OFF MEDIA SO AS TO AVOID PEER AND SOCIETAL PRESSURE . U CAN INTRODUCE HIM TO NAIRALAND

I did try to give ways to make legit work here.

Thanks for the affirmation.

This is a solid advice. Thanks

yanabasee:
Lies upon lies ......


The story is a fiction....


Reading down, it seems Asia and Nigeria have almost the same traditions.....


And you even know juju..... Let's assume he puts you on and tells you everything a out his Igbo tradition, you in turn sounded desperate and unintelligent....


You should know that people who read stories and make contributions on this forum aren't kids...

I never said I am intelligent. After all I put myself in this situation.
If you don't think this story is real, well you can move on to other things.

Thanks for your thought.

SenecaTheYonger:
He’s cashing out steady. You are the client my dear

Well if that's really a case, i think I made him understood that I have stopped becoming his client. I understand the reasons why he is making me as a client. I am not that mad because I understand his condition, and I blame Nigerian gov for not being able to provide Nigerian youths and citizens in general to make it better in life.

But I am no longer willing to serve him as a client. I want him to take me as his wife. And if he can't, just like how yahooboys stops receiving money from their clients, he will leave me. And that's fine too even though I have wasted my years.

pussymonger1:
ONCE A FRAUDSTER WILL ALWAYS BE A FRAUDSTER . THERE IS NO ADVISE I CAN GIVE TO YOU DEAR BUT I WILL STILL TRY TO GIVE A PIECE OF IT . RUN FOR YOUR LIFE . ARE U IN NIGERIA OR ASIA . IF U ARE IN ASIA , GOOD , RUN FOR YOUR LIFE , AT LEAST YOU ARE WORKING AND I BET IF YOU STEP UP YOUR GAME U WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR KIDS CONVINIENTLY WITHOUT NEEDING THE HELP OF DAD OR MOM . FORGET ABOUT TABOO OR TABOOING . STAY WOKE . LOTS OF WOMEN ARE LIVING FINE WITHOUT HUSBAND IN THIS GENERATION . ANYTHING THAT MAY DRAW YOU BACK IN 2022 PLS AVOID IT . BUT IF YOU ARE IN NIGERIA , I WILL BEG YOU TO FIND A WAY TO RELOCATE BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY BECAUSE THE GUY IN QUESTION WILL DEFINITELY USE U FOR RITUAL SOONER WHEN HE IS STUCKED .
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE .MAY THE LORD BE WITH U . FORGET ABOUT TABOO FOR NOW , YOUR LIFE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL .FORGET ABOUT THE SAYINGS 'BABY NEEDS DAD AND MOM ". I WAS RAISED BY AN OLD WOMAN . DONT MIND MY USER NAME AND MOST OF MY COMMENTS ON HERE BUT WHEN IM SERIOUS , IM SERIOUS .
1. DIVORCE
2. START TAKING CUSTODY OF YOUR OWN CHILD BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN GIVE THE BABY A GOOD LIFE , THE FATHER HAS NOTHING UPSTARES THAN FRAUD AND I DONT PRAY YOUR KID EMULATE HIS WRENCHED LIFESTYLE . THIS IS THE TIME U AN SEPARATE SHAFT FROM GRAINS.
3.MOVE FAR AWAY FROM HIM , MAYBE TO ANOTHER REGION IF POSSIBLE
4. WORK HARDER AND SAVE SOME MONEY IF POSSIBLE TO MOVE TO A BETTER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD AND IF MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY IS NOT AN IDEA YOU REALLY LIKE , YOU CAN START A SIDE BUSINESS WHERE EVER YOU ARE TO CREATE MULTIPLE INCOMES
5. RUN AWAY FROM THE LEECHES AND RITUALIST .

Thanks for your input. As bad as I think he is, he isn't a ritualist nor use anyone for rituals but then again who knows..

I am trying to persuade him to go to another island where he mentioned to give a try to improve his situation but I won't spend anymore money for him to get there. Or maybe I will in the future if I need him to stand on his feet.

I still believe very much that my son needs him. Afterall, with him being a house-husband unwillingly, creates stronger bond between them.. and I am dead afraid he will kidnap my son if he is too upset!

SankaraSo:
Your husband is trying his best to provide a good life for you.

Support him
Pray for him
Help him

He is a strong black man

When he finally makes it, you'll have a stress free life.

I am now tired. I will try to support, pray and help him again later coz now I am pretty much smashed down.. sigh.

I don't know about him but I think he is double-smashed.

I am not sure if we are still together in this marriage mentally and emotionally because I sense a huge ambiance of separation even when we are living under the same room.

I believe he has grown too tired of me. Maybe it's just a matter of months before he actually checks out. From me. Not from our child, I know he loves him so much.

But the fact the I have hurt his feelings from my snaps will be no surprise to lead him to leave him.

I don't know if I try again the support, help and pray for him will make any difference. I think our relationship has broken into pieces.

Hi guys, I am new here but I have viewed this forum from time to time (not often, but the vibe I get from ppl here is something I am interested to get some for my own case).

Please dont use pidgin coz I dont speak it.

So my case is this.

I have married with a Nigerian guy in my country. I am a South-east Asian.

Long story short, this guy who is my husband now has not given me much ever since we got married. He is one of those yahooboys. He said he hasn't got any other options of getting money except doing this thing. This 'work' I actually stated I don't like him doing from time to time but well, I am not too firm about that. He isn't making much at all from doing it, in fact all these almost 4 yrs we're together, he just made only 3 or 4 sum of money from it. I honestly can count with fingers how many he provided with that money , meaning buy things or pay bills but the majority of the time I am the one who is providing, food, bills, and even money he spent to do some juju to work on his "spiritual blockages" (he said one of his extended family is the one who spiritually chains him to make it here). I got married religiously with him not bringing any single dime, no ring, no legal papers made, no nothing but I persevered, thinking I should try to understand his hardship. Our family made him convert to my religion then after a couple of yrs, he went back to Christianity (he is an Igbo). The actual reason we got married was because I got pregnant and it's a taboo for a woman to carry a child without a husband. My family disapproved abortion so there we were with the marriage. But after we got married, I got miscarriage. So there is no baby. Then a while later he asked me to have another baby, at first I didn't like the idea as his financial condition isn't well enough to provide a family, he cannot provide me well enough as a wife, then how would he be able to have more as responsibility but he argued that by grace of god this baby will be a blessing and argued that people don't have to have millions of dollars to have baby. So here we are our baby has grown a year now.
His finance isn't improving whatsoever. And I am the sole provider of the house.
He sometimes also took my money without telling, oblivious to the fact that I am struggling to make ends meet.

I have grown TIRED.

Finance problem aside, I have also become aware that his ego is too much to handle. I think he is quite arrogant. He is also wary of me nagging and snapping from time to time. I know my words can be hurtful and disrespectful, yes.

But we are TIRED of each other.

Words of getting separated were thrown around from my side quite a few times during our marriage but we never actually execute that.

I am tired and I don't think I can handle this hardship no more. If he thinks I am not the right person for him as I tend to let him down with my nagging and snaps, so be it, I acknowledge it myself. I am not a good fit. We are not a good fit for each other.

He always told me the problem is that I don't trust him thats why I never listen. I am sorry, but truth to be told, he hasn't shown enough proof that he has been serious for me or fight for me (dared I need to mentioned, ever since we were still dating, he never came to my house nor asked me out on a date).
How can he feel so entitled of my trust where not much he can put on the table to garner the trust?
Such an entitled nigerian man!

Bruv! Look at the facts and just stop lying to my face!

I even thought he has been "workin on me" like he tries as yahooboys.

I am frustrated and stuck.

Now we have a child together and separation isn't looking well for his growth but I swear to God this 2022 I can't tolerate none of his shit no more!

Help me with some perspectives here. I don't need validation of how hurtful I am right now coz my feelings are VALID.
I just need some perspectives to get my head straight.
Ask me questions if you need to in case I missed mentioned some aspects of my case.

ubunja:
a whole book can be written on this.

It's the reason poor girls can't marry rich men.

Wow. You explained everything to the tee. Now I understand why I am like this. Thanks