₦airaland Forum

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I met John at the training ground on a Saturday morning. After the game, he walked me to his car and told me about an accident he was involved in the previous day. I noticed an indifference when he said, "the useless bike man took off the mirror on my passenger side. I know what it cost me to replace the damaged one." I felt pity for him knowing that he invested a fortune in acquiring that car just the previous month. He went further to tell me it happened at a turn, but he insisted the biker was at fault for not paying attention to his pointer, in spite of my effort to make him think otherwise.
"Expect the new one to be broken soon. I advise you to get a spare in readiness", I said as I walked away. I saw the shock on his face but I didn't wait to get a reaction. One week after, I bumped into his wife at a mall but I was greeted with, "Arinze, it happened again- your friend lost his passenger side mirror yet again. The same side and in a similar circumstance." With a self-satisfied smirk, I responded, "Tell him to see me, the Wizard of Oz, if he doesn't want another accident to happen."
First thing Sunday morning he was at my door. He was still standing when he asked, " what is this wizardry all about?" I offered him a sit before taking him through the lecture.

REFLECTION
I told him making mistakes is a normal part of life that offers a route for firsthand learning. Mistakes put a burden on someone and it is this burden that drives one into challenging the status quo. It resets your mindset into a fact-finding mode. You would begin to query what happened, how it happened and why it happened. It is at this level that the learning process becomes activated.
"The flip side is what happened to you. When you deny or try to justify a mistake, you lose the burden and the lesson that comes with it. When you blame the other person or lie, to make yourself feel exonerated, you still lose the burden", I said. He moved closer to the edge of the sofa with that look of 'tell me more' on his face.
I paused before I continued, " if you had taken responsibility the first time, there wouldn't have been the second. The moment you shifted blame, I knew the second one was just a few days away because you wouldn't get the lesson."
I concluded, "if the pointer was all that is necessary, we won't need the side mirror on vehicles. Next time, ensure you watch through the side mirror before you take a turn, irrespective of your pointer indicating an intent to move towards a particular direction. This is the lesson you missed by not taking the burden of accepting responsibility when mistakes are made."
Unsuccessful people blame the other person. They expect the other person to change while they remain the same; therein lies the biggest barrier to learning.

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He grew up in the slum of Agege(of the famous Agege bread) as an 8-year-old. Being the son of a manager with John Holt and a mother that was a trader, they were able to afford enough money to send him to public schools. To his parents' disapproval, he exercised his early entrepreneurial dexterity when he embraced the bike business popularly known as ‘Okada’ to help him meet his basic needs. He was able to grow his business from 1 to 6 motorcycles as a testament to his irrepressible desire to succeed. His desire for business would lead him into hawking souvenirs in the streets of France. He was said to have done alabaru(head porterage in the marketplace) for his mother in the Oke Arin Market, acclaimed Africa’s most populous market. This was in an era when young boys of his age would have taken to street fighting and gang-related activities as ways of survival.

Thirty-one years later, Sijibomi Ogundele, would become Nigeria's youngest billionaire. He is a luxury real estate mogul that built SUJIMOTO GROUP, a company that is worth $400m within a space of five years. They have a track history of building exceptional edifices in the premium locations of Ikoyi and Banana Island in Lagos that fetch them revenues in the margins of $30m per annum. His encounter with the King of Dubai dragged him out of his comfort zone when he pushed him to transform his 15 storey building project to a 30 storey building. The king said to him;
“To be second is to be the last! If people on their 30’s are building 5000 units annually in Asia, 75 units shouldn't scare you”

It is no longer a secret that success is more than work. Different stages of planning and execution are involved to achieve success. Sijibomi knew this and already made a blueprint of his 10-year plan. He has put plans in place to invest $1.9bn into a real estate project that will produce 100 luxury hotels with 16,000 rooms. The idea is to have an investment that would push the company net worth to over $5bn in the next 10 years. There is an equal plan in place to build a first 6-in-1 international standard plaza, a one-stop-shop retail and hospitality centre valued at about $47bn with a combined rental income of $11bn per annum.

There is no gainsaying it that he has already put in place a detailed plan to climb the wealth ladder within the next ten years. He knows you have to plan for success because it doesn't just happen.

REFLECTION
I can agree with those that believe that the activities of young Nigerian men like Invictus Obi, Hushpuppi, Woodberry and hundreds of thousands of youth involved in internet scam have utterly deflated the little acceptability that the average hard-working Nigerian youths managed to build over the years. In the same vein, one might wave aside the massive progress Sijibomi has made classify it as a ticking time bomb waiting to be discovered eventually. Yes, because the trust issue on young men who have found unusual wealth is at an all-time low.

Having said these, the confidence and desirability that these stories could build in us have nothing to do with the way these guys made their money or the model they used. I remember seeing a movie titled “The Leap of Faith’(directed by Richard Pearce) some years back. A faith healer, Jonas Nightengale, travelled across America conducting alleged miracles. While on tour, he met Marva and his brother Boyd who was crippled in an auto accident that took their parents. Previously, a separate faith healer had blamed Boyd’s inability to heal on his lack of faith. But, in the end, Boyd became healed at a convention hosted by Jonas. This healing had no bearing on the veracity of Jonas as a healer but rather on the faith he inspired in Boyd from his purported and stage-managed healings and miracles. We can still thrive from what inspiration these young men generate. That they could do it, is enough reason that it can be done- but this time the right way.

Below are notable quotes from Sijibomi and they are reflections of what inspired him. They can inspire you too to do great things;

“While growing up on the streets of Agege, the fear of poverty was my greatest motivation. Out of the 47 houses on our street, only two people owned a power generating set. This taught me a great lesson that for wealth to be generated, my environment and the people I surround myself with, need to change”

“I found wealth by reading books. My first introduction to entrepreneurship was when I read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Ten years in any university could never have given me what I learned in 10 days”

“Anyone aspiring to be great should not accept failure. When failure happens, people should rather be strong and learn from it. Nobody succeeds without challenging himself. I want to encourage young people in this country to read books because a widely read person is an asset any day. Being creative should not be ignored as well as associating with the right people.”

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I was glad that I met Tunde at the gym. I had been waiting to meet him so that he could give me first-hand information of what happened the previous week. I was told he almost lost his life. Tunde started this way, “O boy, I would have been a dead man by now. I was driving down Road 16 trying to locate the nearest eatery. It was just about 10 a.m on a Friday morning but I had carried out lots of activities already. l went online to look at the orders we had for the week and also analyze if we had enough stock to hold the coming orders until the next supplies. I squeezed out time to speak with some family and friends after going through a 30 minutes workout. Looking at my time, I realized that I needed a quick breakfast before the day got busier as usual.”


Tunde wiped his face with a towel hung around his neck. “As I rolled into the premises, I navigated my car towards the parking lot provided for customers. I tried to jam the door when I alighted from the car but it didn't lap well with the door frame. I pulled it back and tried a second time but it wouldn't jam. I kept doing this until I became sapped of the little energy I had left in my tank that morning. It was a frustrating experience because I was close to food but I could not reach any, even with the longest spoon, because I was afraid of leaving my car unlocked- I read somewhere that carjacking had been on the increase of late. I was so impatient and in a hurry to quench my hunger that I jammed it back in a bid to force the lock, yet it didn't work. I reached for my phone and started looking for help. The panel beater that I knew was out of town. I started talking to everyone I could reach on my contact list to see who could get one to help me out of my situation.”

Tunde continued, "Finally, one was referred to me and we spoke on the phone to help him with the direction on how to get to me. By this time, I had wasted about one hour searching for answers. That was when I heard the gunshots- sporadic but consistent. And some screams followed. Everyone outside scampered for help with our hands shielding our heads as if they were bulletproof- our legs rolled frantically like skaters gliding on ice. Honestly, I didn't care if the door was locked or left ajar at this moment. My safety mode was activated and I ran for my dear life. Suddenly, the door of the eatery burst open and five masked armed men appeared from inside. They were dragging a pot-bellied man out of the eatery. By now, they were shooting aimlessly resulting in the sound of bullets ricocheting against hard surfaces. I had a full taste of blood in my mouth- my heart was definitely in my mouth pounding. This experience was completely alien to me. While those of us outside were running for safety, the masked men dragged the man into a white Hilux van and whisked him away."

He concluded, "After they left, people started emerging from different corners with shock on their faces. One woman actually jumped out of the refuse bin in front of the eatery. She was messed up, with leftovers in the waste bin all over her- on a different day, it would have been fun to watch. I knew she wouldn't care. In a situation like this, only life matters. I walked briskly to my car while jerking my head from one corner to another trying to analyse if there was danger lurking around. When I pulled open the car door, my wallet dropped off the door and landed on the floor. It became obvious to me why the door wouldn't close properly. The door had given me the signs all day but I was too occupied and indifferent to notice it. I had some valuables in the wallet that my life would have been in a mess if I had lost it. The wallet equally stopped me from going inside the eatery where I might have met my demise. Three people lost their lives in the incident and they were from the contingent inside. This experience became an eye-opener for me. I picked up the wallet, got into my car and rolled out of the parking lot. I completely forgot that I invited a panel beater until he called me later in the day. That wallet would have given me more lifelines; I starved and was stressed up but I can't forget that favour in a hurry."



REFLECTION
This is just one out of the legion of examples that underlines the message that the hard times we face could be a way of keeping us away from going through a bad experience. And again, challenging times are meant to help us look inward and discover who we really are. It could be the catalyst that we need to say that enough is enough and then take the critical decision that has the tendency of setting us on the path of success or happiness.

Unfortunately, we are in too much haste to pay attention to the inherent messages embedded in our hard moments. From the biblical angle, we were admonished to give thanks and praises in both our good and bad times. Those assumed bad moments could be the turning point for something remarkable in our lives, just like it happened with Tunde.

If not for the wallet that frustrated his morning schedule, he might have been one of the dead that morning. And again, if not for the door, he might have lost the wallet with the valuables inside. Yes, you are going through hard times now. Relax, take a deep breath and search for the inherent benefit.

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I sat across the room observing her. She wiped away the spilt milk from the baby's mouth before dropping the feeding bottle into a sterilizing unit placed on a small table behind the exit door. The joyful look in her eyes as she rubbed the babies back was untainted. She looked up, caught me gazing at her and smiled admirably. At this point, the quiet transient moment was greeted by a burp from the baby. I recall my mother telling me some decades back that it was done to prevent the little ones from throwing-up after eating.

Breaking the silence, I said, "you have taught me that one can walk by faith even when they cannot see what the future holds out there. Now I know one can walk down a road blindly, but never lose hope of finding the right path." She smiled and with tears in her eyes responded, "life taught me that only in the dark can one view the stars. For 18 years I waited, suffering 8 miscarriages and 2 stillbirths, but ..."

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“When I look back at my life, it becomes clearer why it took me a long time to arrive here. I was raised by a single dad but the explanation for the journey of my life was nothing near having a single parent- it was 100% a function of the choices that I made. My mother died when I was six. People expected my father to remarry but he resisted all the concerted effort to get him to pick a second wife. The pitch employed to convince him sounded perfect- they told him he needed a mother figure to look after me. But he rebuffed the idea and I remember him telling me that you cannot tell a cripple from a group of persons sitting in a boat. He told me later in life that you cannot tell a good woman from her appearance. He believed that the much-coveted mother figure might end up tearing us apart. He didn't want his love for me to become diluted by any means. He managed his meagre earnings, that came from working as a driver to a senior public servant, to provide us with our basic needs. His employer was a good man. At least, they assisted in helping my father train me through the university.”

Ben had been talking for a while. He rubbed his palms together and continued.

“I graduated from university and got a job with a commercial bank. The first ten years were good. I ate what I wanted. I was able to get a car for my wife after getting one for myself. I had this 60 inches plasma(this was what was in vogue then) television adorning my wall. I was living in a rented duplex in one of the most sought after areas of the city. At that point, life for my family and I was exceptionally beautiful."

He kept talking. "I had a very trusted friend in Remigius. We resumed duty with the same employer the same day. We became very close friends within those ten years. One day, we went to see his uncle who was a successful businessman and one discussion led to the other. We talked about what plans we had about investing for the future. In summary, my friend's uncle advised both of us to save and then invest. That didn't make sense to me then because my salary was good and I was looking forward to more promotions and corresponding pay raise; my salary was regular. In the wake of that visit, Remigius came to my house one weekend and suggested that we start saving a certain amount every month for three years towards making some investment that would bring us returns. This financial plan got my approval after a lengthy conversation on the subject.”

Ben was putting on one of the brightest white shirts I had ever seen. As I ran my eyes through the shirt, he went on. “We ended up saving N5m($13,000) in three years. In earnest, we started sourcing for the most convenient investment vehicle with considerable risk but with the potential to bring good returns. One day, Remigius walked over to my table in the office and told me about a real estate opportunity that just came up. He was informed by his uncle about the plan by the state government to move one of the federal government agencies and the market for a particular commodity to a certain location in the outskirts of the city. I told him it was a good idea but that I had decided to use mine to build a mansion in my hometown. There was a massive pressure from my parents to do so and I felt being able to save such an amount was the window that I needed.”

Ben concluded, “Five years after, Remigius was disengaged from the bank. That was during the banking shake-up of 2009. His property was worth N28m($73,000) in the real estate market at that moment. It was a massive return on investment for him. He sold it off, added some money to it and got a Bureau De Change licence. One year after, he became a big player in the market and I could easily see that he was doing so well. In the following year, I got the boot from the bank. Unfortunately, the building in the village had no economic value- I couldn't sell it( to be honest, there was no single interested buyer). And I had little money with me because I just moved to a new apartment where I spent a lot on rent; I equally bought a new car. That was when it dawned on me that I blew my chances. I had a lot of lifelines but I saved none for a time like that. To survive, I had to appeal to my friend, Remigius, to accept me to work for him while I looked at other options.”

REFLECTION
An opportunity appears like a dressed foreman in an overall. This is the very reason most people miss it. Especially those that don't like sweating it out; they choose to just pass by.

Opportunities do not disappear into thin air when neglected; they move on to the next available space until someone finds them. When Ben turned down the offer from Remigius, I learnt that the same offer was taken to a senior colleague who after observing due diligence, invested N15m($39,000) in the deal. In the end, he kept one and sold two plots(1000sqm) for N54m($142,000). That I declined the offer did not make the opportunity non-existent; in fact, it was moved on to the next available person.

Missing an opportunity that could have changed your life is very costly. Forget all the logic and assumptions; just take that step. Entrepreneurship is about taking risks. However, if you must jump from the plane, make sure you do so with a parachute. It is not like jumping with a parachute would remove the risk completely; because it could malfunction. But it would definitely minimize it. Do not allow missed opportunities to sum up your life.

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Some wey hustle make am. Some no make am.

But, make I ask you,
If you no try, how you go now whether that hustle for make you blow?

You got to try!

[b][/b]
Jeff Bezos was born January 12, 1964, in Albuquerque to a bike shop owner and a 17-year-old female high school student. Just four years after Jeff's birth, his mother would go on to get married to a Cuban immigrant, Miguel "Mike" Bezos, in April 1968 after her marriage to Jeff’s father suffered a divorce. Mike adopted four-year-old Jeff and this led to his surname being changed from Jorgenson to Bezos. He bagged a degree in electrical engineering and computer science from Princeton University in 1986. He founded Amazon in late 1994 after working on wall street for some years- he left his job at D. E. Shaw in readiness for the launch of Amazon in his garage on July 5, 1994. Amazon started as an online bookstore. The company later expanded to a wide variety of other e-commerce products and services, including video and audio streaming, cloud computing and AI(Artificial Intelligence).
In July 2017, 24 years after he founded Amazon, Bezos overtook Bill Gates to become the richest person in the world. Bill Gates had long held this position before he was overthrown by Bezos. Barely a year after, in October 2018, he would later become the first centibillionaire to appear on The Forbes 400 list of richest Americans, with a net worth of $160 billion.
Bezos suffered a setback in the summer of 2019 when as part of their divorce settlement he transferred a quarter of his Amazon stake to his ex-wife, MacKenzie Bezos. This made his wife, MacKenzie Bezos, the second wealthiest woman on earth with a net worth of $59.8 billion. Had Jeff Bezos held onto those shares, his net worth would be around $240 billion today.

REFLECTION.
We are not defined by the adversity that hit us. What defines us is the way we respond to adversity. Adversity for me is that bully that drives us away from our comfort zones and drags us into that unfamiliar zone where dreams could become reality. Adversity ends up revealing the character and that tenacity we have always suppressed in us. Jeff was only about four years when his parents chose divorce as the solution to their marital woes. So, it is not like he had a rosy upbringing. He went to the university as the normal teens do. And he did get a job which he kept for some years before taking that bold decision to chase his dreams. He did not wait until he had the money to rent an office in a skyscraper- his garage was good enough for his dreams at that point. What it says is that you have to believe in your dreams first and then take action in the right direction. Everything would fall into place. Another adversity happened when he transferred a quarter of his Amazon stake to his wife making her the second richest female in the world. Undeterred, he kept his eyes on the mark and refused to be distracted.
The Coronavirus pandemic had a negative impact on businesses worldwide. Amazon had a fair share of it. Her stock fell by 15% in the first two and a half weeks of March 2020 owing to the spread of Coronavirus in the U.S. But the preference for online purchases against visiting physical stores helped in rallying up the Amazon shares by more than 80% since the March 12 low point. With his current net worth, Bezos is $70.2 billion richer than Gates. Remember Bill Gates had been the world richest man for several years. Currently, Gates is worth about $110.4 billion and sits below the man who the world never thought could make the top ten, let alone sit at the top of the table.
Amazon is currently the largest internet company by revenue, the world's largest online sales company, and the world's largest provider of virtual assistants. Things are going well for Jeff Bezos. The company’s market capitalization is currently on high of $1.54 trillion. For owning 11.1% of the company, this places Bezos worth at a record-breaking $182.6 billion as of the close of market on Wednesday, 7 October 2020. In about four decades of tracking billionaires, this is the highest net worth Forbes has ever recorded.
Despite the challenges the world has thrown at Bezos and Amazon, business is booming at Amazon and Bezos keeps getting richer by the day. When Bezos started out in the garage decades ago to chase his dreams, he didn't know he would get this far. Therefore do not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone because fresh dreams do not thrive there. You must have a vision. You must dwell on hope and you must believe in your dreams to help you with the motivation to take action. Challenges would come but remember Bezos didn't allow them to distract him from his dreams. And always remember, miracles do happen but remarkably for those who believe.


For more, visit:
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[b][/b]

Francis and I met at the airport. There was a delay due to bad weather. We got talking and he told me this inspiring story. “My parents had always told me that life was not easy. My father for one would go on with the sordid journey he took in becoming a man, marrying my mother and raising us. Consequently, I imbibed that mentality that nothing in life comes easy. But, on the other hand, my father taught me how to live with hope even when there seems to be no one in sight within my horizon. These two lessons became the focal point of the life that I pursued.”

It was over one hour since we started waiting. Francis flashed a look at his wristwatch and went on. “When my father died, this was two years after my mother left, I became heartbroken and desolate. I was born in the time before the war. Education was not at the top of the list of the average Igbo family. The war came and we emerged from it striving so hard to make ends meet. When I could not find a good job owing to the visible challenges in the post-civil war era, I picked up my late father's jalopy and entered into the taxi business. Less than two months into the business I was involved in a fatal accident that took the lives of two passengers in the other vehicle. The taxi was damaged beyond recognition and I was told it could never be fixed. I almost lost one of my eyes. Till date, that eye became impaired and my vision became partial.”

The announcer came on and with the usual foreign accent, those going to Lagos were told to get ready to onboard. Francis continued, “I was warned never to drive again. Luckily, an old family friend got a job for me at the printing press. I felt good at the start and I gave the job my best to make sure that I remained in favour of the white men who managed it. Another disaster struck again- one night I forgot to monitor the printing press and went to sleep. The machine malfunctioned and messed up a printing job for a political campaign. That job was to be submitted the week before but it was delayed for some reason. But I ended up messing it further on the eve of the delivery date. I was fired the next morning. My situation began to look irremediable like a fish struggling for life on the bare floor. I was fired from two subsequent jobs within two years. I was lost between two opinions; whether the problem was from me or with the system that hired and fired me at will. In simple terms, I can say it was like a Sisyphean struggle”

He said, "There were perilous moments in my life but I kept thinking when things became very tough for me,

‘Father would have expected me to keep hope alive. I won't give in to despair’

At this point, we were told that our delayed flight had arrived. Francis concluded, “It got so bad that family and friends started telling me that I lacked the preparedness and discipline to keep a job. They conveyed the impression that I was the problem and advised me to return to the village and start tilling my father's land. My uncle told me I had no business with a paid job and he charged me to return to the village and do something with my life. That thinking got to me one day that thoughts of suicide came up as options. But I pushed back at those voices in my head and kept hoping that one good fortune would change it all. It didn't take long before my prayers were answered. One day, I came across an advert on the pages of the newspaper. I submitted an application and it was a success. Like you see in a science fiction movie, months became months and months elongated to years. I later left the printing job and started my own printing business after serving my employer for 15 meritorious years. Presently, we are bursting our budgets in all financial indices. We are on course to extend our business beyond the shores of our nation.”


REFLECTION
As a kid, one of my best moments was watching the aeroplanes take off. Now an adult, I alluded this take off to the same way people allow hope to grow wings and fly out of their lives. The moment you let hope go, the centrifugal force that tethers grace and joy, alongside hope, in a tripartite arrangement existing at the core of your system disintegrates.

I recall vividly the miracle of Dammam. It was that one goal, and the first one, that the Flying Eagles pulled back after being 0-3 down that gave them that flicker of hope. The rest became history. Therefore, it doesn't matter how many times your life has been messed up by either you or the system. What matters is your resolve to keep pushing in spite of the difficulties. No matter how bad or tortuous the journey has been, just hang on and seek for that one thing that will keep creating that flicker of hope. For the Eagles of Nigeria, it was that first goal that whispered in their ears, ‘we can do it. You’ve still got time’.

Look for that first goal that would help you turn your situation around!

Plenty of goodies await you if you make it to the end of the tunnel. And always remember that after the night, comes the sun that brightens the day and illuminates our life.

For more, visit;
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[/b]

While going through the documents in my library recently, I stumbled on a post of July 5, 2017, that Christiano Ronaldo while still with Real Madrid was making about £308,000 for every sponsored post on Instagram. Fast forward to the year 2020, that is, after leaving Madrid for the old ladies(Juventus), Ronaldo is on a steady rise. According to Forbes, this 2020, CR7 makes about $1m per paid post on Instagram. And he became the first human to reach 200 million followers on the same platform. By this feat, he has dethroned twenty-seven-year-old pop star, Selena Gomez, who led the chat with £424,000 per Instagram post as of July 2017. Who says success is not an attractive force?


[b]REFLECTION.
Success is a game-changer. Spinning the dial in the right direction, bursts open the lock that leads to the golden street. Success is subjective in a manner that a kidnapper who is doing well in the conversion of hostages to hard currencies could be said to be successful. Such an illusion can never be in tandem with the laws of success in a positive sense. In all, success could come in whatever form but the consequences of the pathway to that success would draw the line between good and bad. You can relate this to the 'HUSH' that took place in Dubai recently. That journey from Dubai to the US took a long time but it happened at the end.

You must respect the principles of success to be crowned a success. You don't gamble your way, and neither do you put the cart before the horse in the pursuit of success. My Granny once said to me, "Nze, the secret of success is finding out what is your destiny and putting fire(action) to it." She continued, "On the road to success are many distractions, but if you resist them and conclude the journey, every other thing becomes attracted accordingly."

I recall giving a piece of cake to little Kamsi. She gobbled it and extended her little palm towards me before I could share it with the other kids. 'My cake', she asked, with a funny innocent look on her face. I stared at the 3 yr old girl and said in response, 'you can't eat your cake and have it." She wailed all she could but I was out to school her that day.

Your future, once secured, will attract the things that are necessary for living. Those in the majority are not always right. So, I advise you don't follow the bandwagon if it does not reflect your dreams. The stronger Eagle flies alone while the weaker pigeons fly in flocks. So never be afraid to stand alone if it guarantees you a roadmap to success. Once achieved, every other thing relevant would be added thereafter.

Success in a positive way comes with value creation. This value is the difference between your post on Instagram and Christiano's. He, Selena and other successful people in other works of life did the right things to be where they are today. Most of them started early; at a much younger age. Some made mistakes along the way but they never took their eyes off the mark. Success knows no barrier, but you must deal with the distractions and face the more important things; value created will beget more success. It is the law of attraction. By the way, that same week in July 2017, Messi was offered a contract of $646,000 per week by Barcelona. This is no better way to slay!
If you want a piece of the action, it is simple; start today and build a brand for yourself by adding values that matter.

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[b][/b]

“I have always wanted to be a lawyer but when you sit at home for five years trying to gain admission into the university to study law with no luck, you are bound to throw your hands in the air and submit completely to the prevailing situation. Don't think I didn't put in my best. I went for private classes and read whatever was recommended on the curriculum by the examining body. But it wasn't going to be. While I was insisting on studying law, my immediate younger sister gained admission and graduated with a degree in Mass Communication. The other two younger siblings (both males) would gain admissions while I was patiently but frustratingly waiting. My siblings getting ahead of me academically moved me down the pecking order of relevance. There was a time we all put in some requests for funds. Coincidentally, my maternal aunt was on a visit when these requests were submitted to my father. Distribution became an issue because my father categorically told us he didn't have enough to go round. I remember my aunt saying to my father, 'My in-law, please, release the money to those with better plans for the future. Aliyu should wait for another turn'. It was that humiliating- this incident was one big psychological scar of those trying five years.”

Aliyu has been speaking since we drove from his office to his house.

“I got fed up with the ‘second class citizen’ treatment I was getting at home. My birthright was sold before my eyes. I was no longer relevant in the scheme of things. My father didn't even wait to be cheated out of my birthright as it happened with Jacob and Esau- in fact, he was a key accomplice. He became the orchestrator of this robbery. My siblings were then assumed to have more informed and superior opinions while mine became second class opinions. It got to a near boiling point that I decided that I had taken enough. I purchased an entry form and requested to study French in one of the national universities. Even though it wasn't said to my face, I knew that my younger siblings made a mockery of my choice of course of study. I ended up spending four years at the university studying French as a language. The choice of French as a course of study didn't sit down well with my parents. To make even more mockery of the situation, they christened me 'Charles De Gaulle'. They claimed that I took the easy way out of my misery. It was a good punch but sadly they got me somewhere below the belt”

Aliyu looked at his time. I knew his mind was on the Friday prayers at the mosque. He continued. “After graduation, I went for my National Youth Service Program- It was a program designed for fresh graduates to serve their fatherland. One day at the camp, we were informed that representatives from a multinational firm would be in the camp to conduct aptitude tests for qualified candidates for advertised positions in the firm. The day for the test came but I was not selected for the test. I was bypassed because I did not meet certain criteria. While the team was about to leave, one of them returned and whispered something to the Camp Commandant. After a short deliberation, the commandant asked for the public address system and spoke to us. He requested for those that studied French to step out. By sheer providence, I was the only one out of the multitude in the campground that had a degree in French. I later realized that they needed someone in their affiliate office in France. To summarize my story, that was how I found myself in France and I have been working with the firm for fifteen years. I am in Nigeria for an official project. I hope to be back next week”

REFLECTION
It is one thing for one to realize he is living a mediocre life but another thing to take that decision(action) that shows that you have had enough. The antithesis to change is doing the same thing, the same way repetitively. We cannot expect our present condition to change if we decide to let things remain the way they are. Aliyu did nothing about his situation until he became angry. You must be fed up with a situation that does not fit into your plans for your mindset to demand for a corresponding desperate change. If not, that compelling situation would remain by your side as a friend until you get angry and sever the relationship. You must get angry and let that situation know that you have had enough. And then take action!

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]

It was with shock that the world received the news on the night of 14th April 2014 that 276 female students were kidnapped from the Government Secondary School in the town of Chibok in Borno State. Some of the girls were later released, some were rescued by the Nigerian Army while a couple escaped from hostage.

Amina Ali, one of the missing girls who was found after a successful escape in May 2016, claimed that the remaining girls were still there, but that six had died. Joy Bishara and Lydia Pogu, two of the rescued girls did not only stay alive but they made it to the United States on a Federal Government-sponsored scholarship scheme. They ended up graduating from the Canyonville Christian Academy in Oregon. They were hosted at the White House in July 2017 by the United States First family.

Ivanka Trump, the daughter of the United States president said, "Honored to have welcomed Joy and Lydia, two incredible young women from Chibok, Nigeria to the White House last week. They shared with me their remarkable journey in overcoming tremendous adversity, and I am in awe of their courage and heart. I look forward to watching them flourish as they begin a new chapter at Southeastern University this fall. Joy and Lydia, I am so proud of you both! Thank you for inspiring us with your story.''

REFLECTION
When the times are good, always remember some are going through hard times for the same reasons that brought you good fortunes. In simple terms, it is important to always be gracious; whether good or bad. Joy and Lydia’s moments of terror would end up in praises. If they were told that the terror that took place that night would open a magic door to the white house, they would have classified it as a pipe dream. Life is not fair, they say. Remember, it was the same child kidnap that took the life of some, that equally paved the way for some to attain a foreign scholarship, and visit a place that not all the presidents of nations have the good fortune to visit.

A journey that took lives, quashed dreams, and engraved sorrow in the hearts of some, has given Joy and Lydia a second chance in life. Whatever you are going through today could end in glory.
The happiest people do not bother about what course they are served by life; they just get on with it. We can only get used to the fact that life is not fair. The rain showers for everyone, but it serves different strokes to different folks at a point in time.

Always have the hope and conviction that your pain points would end up into happy moments as it happened for Joy and Lydia. Lastly, our hearts remain with the family of the other girls yet to be recovered or released.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]

Matthew stuck the third stick into his mouth. He smiled while doing this because I had always reminded him that smokers are liable to die young. Anyway, he got on with his story. “I was in the hospital bed for three months. It all started with one usual decision. It seemed initially like a good decision but it ended a ludicrous one. That tragic Sunday morning, I got a phone call from Jason. He told me a couple of friends had arranged to have a car race at a particular location. I was getting ready for Sunday service when this call came in. I wanted to know why it could not wait for the evening but Jason ended up convincing me why it had to hold that morning. It became a choice between playing the piano at the church and going for fun; I was the pianist for the church choir. I thought about the fun we would have and more about the fact that Sheila was going to be there too. I dropped the idea of Sunday service and went for the car key. That was the last time I felt the usual warmth of the house and my room for the next three months. The crash took the lives of three of my friends but I was lucky to have survived; even though sadly because I would have preferred dying along with Sheila and the other two. The accident left me in a condition that would have crippled me for the rest of my life. While being hospitalized and going through excruciating pains, I overheard the doctor telling my mother several times that I had very slim chances of using my limbs again. Anyway, the doctor had these private conversations with my mother without knowing that I was paying attention to their discussions.”

The smoke from his mouth engulfed the little space between us. “I wasn't told much but my mother’s gloomy face after each private discussion with the doctor during ward rounds revealed all the hidden messages. Those moods created a sordid atmosphere of despondency in that corner where I holed up seeking for answers. My body needed something positive but my mother and I weren't in the right frame of mind to provide the necessary vibes that could have provided that positivity. I noticed that my body and soul were collapsing in bits. Incidentally, it would take one visit by an unexpected relative to change everything- my maternal uncle walked into the hospital to see me. That was his first visit since the accident happened. I was glad to see him because he was an embodiment of wisdom and he had this solid sense of humour. He lived as if there were no problems in his life. You can understand why I felt relieved seeing him by my bedside. He was with us only for an hour but I smiled and giggled all through. When it was time for him to leave, he came by the bedside and said,

“That you made it till this day has shown that God is willing to give you a second chance. I do not want to know what the medical report said but I am sure that I have a fighter in you. Don't let whatever is willing to take those limbs to win. They are yours- fight to keep them. That reminds me. I got a new piano for you. They said it was the latest model and I can't wait for you to return home and give us some beautiful rendition”

Matthew was done with smoking and I was glad. He continued, “After uncle Dave left, I noticed this vigour and inner strength urging me to get up and walk out of the hospital with my two legs intact. Initially, I was resigned to whatever fate threw at me but after that remarkable visit, I felt a spark of life run through me. I got myself in attack mode and started pushing from all cylinders. My body and soul started working as a team, with recovery being the only thing on my mind; and gaining back what was taken from them. Even the doctor and my mother noticed the new changes. One Saturday morning, the whole ward went into a frenzy- I moved my limbs for the first time in three months. My mother sang and hummed under her breath all through the night. My recovery was astonishingly speedy and the physiotherapist confessed that he never saw anything like that. I was there for another three months before I finally walked out of the hospital with my legs and arms perfectly working all to the glory of God.”

He emptied the glass of beer on the table and concluded. “I got home and could only manage to wait for two weeks to get my new piano from Uncle Dave. It was then that Uncle Dave released the bombshell- there was never a piano. He told me that my recovery rate worried him. He saw that I was fading away and appeared ready to succumb to the fight. The piano which he already knew I loved playing became the bait to lure me back to the ring so I could fight like the warrior they all knew. It was at this point that I made that connection to the miracle that happened. That fightback was to recover so that I could have my new piano. That was the day I added uncle Dave to the list of people that I was going to be indebted to all my life. Sadly enough, he died a few years after this incident.”

REFLECTION
No one can ever be useless in life by helping people find their way. There are many sources through which one can receive or offer inspiration. In other words, you do not need money to inspire people. I was told by Matthew that he later got a piano from the physiotherapist who was astonished by his recovery; the trick by uncle Dave inspired him too. He bought the piano for him when he realized that his uncle couldn't do it.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]
I was at his showroom to purchase a piece of furniture. I got to talking with Benson, the CEO. I have been buying from them for a while and we have become friends in the process. Benson started this way. “I am a very strong-willed individual. While in secondary school, teachers and some students saw this attribute as being stubborn. I don't blame them much because when I believe in something, not even the threat of a raging bull can stop me on the track. In other words, I can say that I can be stubborn when it comes to someone trying to change the course of my beliefs. To every medal, we have got the two sides- teachers struggled to tolerate the part of me that comes off stubborn but they were all in love with the other part that was smart and intelligent. Then, I was about the most intelligent boy in school. I was the face of the debating club, the spelling club and the press club. I was so distinguished back in the days on the matters of academic performances. But somehow I kept feeling that something was missing in my life. I realized yet again in my secondary school days that craftwork, which I had loved as a kid, captivated me more than solving algebra and balancing equations.”

He picked up the intercom, gave some instructions and continued. “Then one day, I announced to my mother that I was going to be leaving school. The shock was deafening but you could hear my heart beating against my rib cage like a talking drum. She thought that I was crazy. But I knew what I wanted. Acting against orders, I left school and ended up incurring my mother’s wrath. All hell was let loose when I told her that leaving school was to enable me chase the dream of becoming a furniture maker. I was disowned by my parent and sent packing out of the house. I left the house not knowing what to do but the situation left no doubt in my mind that I had to make sacrifices for my dreams. The only missing link was that I thought that I was going to do it with my parent's support. Living out there like a lone wolf came with numerous challenges. I almost succumbed and gave up my dreams but that stubborn nature that people complained about, kept me out there in the cold hunting for my dreams.”

Benson went on. “During my sojourn as a lone wanderer, I met a pastor who heard my story and took me in. He made several efforts to reunite my mother and me. But she wouldn't budge. You don't need to look far to see where I got my stubborn nature from. My mother's only condition for taking me back was my going back to school. My mind was made up and I was not ready to give an inch of my dreams away for even a piece of porridge. The pastor gave up on returning me home and got me an apprenticeship contract with a furniture-making friend. He was acclaimed to be one of the best in the location. I stayed with him for five years and unfortunately, we lost him to the cold hands of death in my final month of apprenticeship. My intelligence and creativity were two big factors on what I finally became at the end of my training. I was so good that my late boss’ wife begged me to stay behind for a while to help keep their loyal customer.”

Benson continued, “I went on to stay with them for another year. This was another decision in my life that people classified as being a stupid one. They thought that the extra year was a waste of time. However, it became a blessing instead. Towards the end of the extra year, the state governor's wife walked into the showroom to buy some furniture. I was the one that attended to them. After I left to start my own business, there was this day that i got call from the government house. I knew immediately that it was related to those sales to the First Lady of the state. I ended up being awarded a contract to furnish one of the complexes built for women empowerment. That deal gave me so much money and brought me enough goodwill. Politicians and government appointees filled my list of customers. I bought a house and reconstructed it into a mega showroom. Not like it mattered in any way but I found out that I was doing better than those that I left behind in secondary school. It is a two-way alleyway but it is good that we follow our hearts and pitch our tents where our passions are. I later made up with my mother but that is a story for another day.”

REFLECTION
There is always one active person in a dream; the dreamer. Even those that interpret dreams like Joseph can't interpret the dream until the dreamer tells it. In other words, you, the dreamer, should know your dreams more than any other person. This is why only the dreamer can tell his story. If we agree on this, why must an external person decide how you, the dreamer, should chase your dreams- or what dreams you should chase? You just have to double down on your dreams irrespective of how unachievable others think they are.

From Benson’s story, some might argue that we cannot really say how going further with his education might have impacted his life; it could have been worse or even better. I agree with this line of thought. And this is because we only have the luxury of hindsight. But at the end, Benson ended up doing what he had great passion for since he was a child. Therefore, achieving success doing it should be considered as the icing on the cake.

Lastly, you have to define that thing you have passion for. Don't worry much about what people think. There is nothing wrong about listening to those who have seen it all or who have better experience but at the end take a decision that underlines the importance and focal points of your dreams.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]

The maxim that life is about doing the things that make you happy, instead of the things that make other people happy, was played out a few years back in the lives of two of the greatest football players on the planet presently.

First, it was Cristiano Ronaldo. On the 8th of June 2017, it was a double-barrelled delight for him as he celebrated the arrival of his twins. Mateo and Eva were born through a surrogate mother in the United States. She was believed to have received about €200,000 ($228,610) for this service. It is important to note too that Ronaldo's 10-year-old boy was also born using a surrogate mother. Nevertheless, there is no confirmed information on the relationship between the twins, his first son and the surrogate mothers.

Instagram and Facebook pages would become washed with pictures of Ronaldo with a baby on each arm. They were posted with the caption,
"So happy to be able to hold the two new loves of my life"

Coming from behind -though not in a manner that settles the GOAT contest- was Lionel Messi. On July 1, 2017, Messi wedded his childhood sweetheart in Rosario, Argentina, in a wedding tagged the "wedding of the century". Lionel Messi, who was 30 then, and his bride, Roccuzzo, 29, met when the player was nine years old. They already had two lovely boys before this wedding.

While it was okay for Ronaldo to have his children through surrogate mothers, Messi chose to do his differently. Remarkably, Messi’s wedding had to come after the birth of his two boys. Both moments, the birth of the twins and the wedding in Rosario, might not be the best moments of their lives but they still derived so much joy from the experiences.


REFLECTION
The thing about human nature is that we want to believe that we can only be happy when everything in our life is perfect. But honestly, we need to look beyond the imperfections that surround us and make the most out of life. If we can try to be happy with who we are as against trying to put ourselves on a scale of people’s expectations of us, life would take some little pressure off us. Be happy with what you have even if every other person out there believes it is not good enough- when we learn how to think less about other people's expectations of us the more happiness we will discover.

While congratulatory messages poured in from all corners of the globe, none of the two cares about what people thought about those two events. It was 100% about their happiness.

Some years back, I attended the wedding of a friend but later regretted why I took the pains to attend the event. It was one of the most humdrum weddings I ever attended. They had this wedding after three kids. Himself and the wife thought that it was embarrassing to have left it that late. The mood that followed, made the wedding look like a funeral and the darndest event that ever happened- while it would have been one of the best moments of their lives. What they believed people thought about the wedding after they would have had three kids, swallowed the joy and excitement.

Life is full of setbacks but we have to try not to live our lives just to keep others happy; especially when you consider the fact that no two lives are meant to be the same. Life has no duplicate and it can't be recopied. So, do whatever makes you happy and stop watching to see who is pleased. Do not even give a hoot about justifying your choices to anyone, as long they make you happy- just be you. However, do not forget that every action comes with a respective consequence- for example, don't go on a shooting spree because you feel that it makes you happy.

Lastly, it is within us to choose when we want to be happy.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]

I bumped into him at a wedding reception. Billy was an old school friend. He was not one of those bright ones but he knew how to make money those days in school. He would come early to class but end up selling his position to the highest bidder. At graduation, we didn't give him much chance of becoming somebody- we used to gather at times and evaluate who would do better and who wouldn't when we leave school with no empirical evidence. You can understand why my jaw dropped when I saw him descend from a white Range Rover. He was impeccably dressed. His arrival was announced with a big cheer from the pockets of the crowd gathered outside. We spoke briefly and exchanged contacts. I tracked him down a week later.

Billy was seated outside with a glass of gin and juice. He knew how to live the good life. When I got settled, he said, “I know that the manner in which I became rich shocked people. To date, they are yet to place a finger on how it happened and it annoys them. There had been rumours about my wealth coming through either ritual or internet fraud. But it doesn't bother me. Anyway, since you cared to ask, I will tell you my story. After we left school, my life went on a downward spiral. There was no purpose in the life I was living. No dreams and no set goals. But one day, while drinking in a bar with some friends, a real estate investment opportunity was mentioned. I was told about an opportunity in a fast-developing part of the city. I became convinced about this deal. I had to put my father's house in the city for sale- remember that I am the only child and beneficiary. The proceeds were invested into the deal. I later discovered that the transaction was a scam. By then, the guys that sold the property to me became at large. I tried to use the police to get them but I realized that I was adding to my losses by emptying more money down the drain. I withdrew the matter from the police and decided to count my losses.”

Billy emptied his cup. And then continued, “In that singular deal I lost over N30m($83,000). But there was nothing I could do about it. I started scavenging for jobs so I could put food on the table. Then a few years down the line I got involved in another real estate deal. Going by the proposal put before me, that deal would have fetched over N10m ($27,000) in profit. But it would end up as another failed deal- it was devastating. Nevertheless, I was lucky to get my capital back; but not all of it. I regretted selling a second property to raise money. This left me with just one property left from my inheritance. You might begin to wonder why I opened myself to be duped on a related deal twice (and consecutively so). It is not far from the fact that I was exposed to the money in that business segment by a friend whose father was a very big player in the industry. That was where my fascination started. However, while my friend's father was hitting home runs in the industry I was busy earning sin bins for myself. I got unfortunate yet again and got myself involved in a very sticky real estate deal. This very one landed me in prison. I was part of a syndicate that sold a plot of land to a former military administrator of a state. My sin was linking the buyer to the syndicate. I never knew those guys were scammers-I was only in the deal for the commission. You can understand while I took a decision in prison that I will never get myself involved in a real estate deal ever.”

Billy continued, “I told myself in prison that my past experiences had taught me enough and that it was time to pay attention to the lessons. I got out of prison and decided to start a new life. I met Maureen and we got married six months after. Within the first five years, we were blessed with a boy and a girl. All these while I stayed away from the real estate business. I wore the scars of the bad deal like the Badge of War. There was a day I bumped into an old friend at a mutual friend’s birthday party. He started talking about this very huge real estate deal but I told him outrightly that I wasn't interested. While I was about leaving with my wife, the old friend walked over to the car and said, ‘Think about the offer that I put forward. It is a life-changing one.’ My wife asked what the deal was about but I was not going to say until she asked for the umpteenth time that night. It was that moment that I let her in on everything so that she could see my pained moments in the business. I expected her to be angry but what came out of her mouth shocked me.” She said, "Don't let your past determine or decide your present. I think what we should do is look at the lessons of those past experiences and see what changes we can make. Now, let us go through the lessons of past failures."
Billy concluded, "That night we looked at all the things I didn't do well in those failed deals; from improper confirmation at the registry to not dealing with licensed agents. The next day, we sold my father's only remaining property and invested the whole N35m($97,000) into the deal. This deal would fetch us an additional N60m($166,000) in seven years. This was how my life changed. We keep posting big deals after deals. People can think what they want but I know I am hitting my own home runs now.”

REFLECTION
The failures of the past have nothing to do with the planning of the future. As long as we live or keep breathing, our failures are like writings on the chalkboard. If you determine what has to change, you can get back to the chalkboard and decide how you want it to end. Billy’s issue was not the real estate business; it was the decisions he took and the processes he passed through in taking them. In the last deal, he only needed to look at the process, make necessary modifications, and went for the shot.

I do not know what experiences of the past hurts you the most. And I do not know how this affects your decisions today. But I know they have prepared you to plan the future better and get back in control of your life.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]
"I was driving to the airport when I noticed a familiar face. I pulled up and the moment I wound down, I knew I got it right. David was standing right there under the sweltering sun. It had been 10 years since we left school. We screamed and gave ourselves some high fives. He told me that he was going down the road but not exactly to the airport. We had little time to catch up with what had happened in-between the 10 years since we left school. Though I was happy to bump into David, an old school pal, one thing still shocked me; he was yet to get a job since we left school. I was shocked at first but I recalled what David said to me on the last day of our examination as accounting graduates. He was putting on his usual immaculate white top over black jeans. I still remember those trademark glasses that always sat on his nose like a matador sitting on a bull- he was wearing a pair of glasses today but obviously, the rim had changed to something more chic."

Kyrian continued, “After our last paper on the final day at the university, everyone was going crazy. Our bodies were stained with ink and coloured drinks but David was quiet as the pandemonium went on. When I moved over to him, he said, ‘Today seems like our last day in school but I am sad. It seems like the last four years were a waste. I had been thinking about this since we started the exam. I would have graduated as an accountant but at the end of the day, one might ask how much of what I studied do I know. And I think for this reason I have lost all hope of ever getting a job because I know I'm not good enough.’ Kyrian cleared his throat and continued, “You can see how he got himself into this condition. It was quite obvious that he lacked the belief that he could do anything meaningful as an accountant. He built that wall of limitation around himself and it got coded on his subconscious mind. I doubted at that point if he ever went for any job interview because he never believed he could do anything successfully or meaningfully as an accountant. I dropped him under the flyover before taking the right turn to head to the airport."

Kyrian went on. "I knew I needed to have another discussion with David on his predicament. Perspective remains one of the most important gifts under the surface of the earth. I had to share one with him but it boils down to what he does with it. So, when I returned to the city, I invited David over. From our discussion, it was obvious that David did not seek an opportunity for a job even for once. He thought that it was of no use because even if he got the job, what would he have done. There was a shocking lack of self-worth. It was at this point that I opened up with him. I told him that he placed a value on himself by virtue of his thought and probably as a result of other people's opinions about him. I went further to tell him that the only limit that matters in his life are those ones that he placed by himself. I let him know that no one is perfect and that he should believe in his ability and give himself the opportunity to learn through the ranks. I told him too that the professors, gurus, great leaders of the past and present were not born with those name tags. They, like us, arrived on earth as tabula rasas. But in the end, we decide what we want to become. I advised him to get a smaller job and then grow and learn from there."

Kyrian was bent on telling the whole story. "I left for the United States the following week. I actually visited Nigeria on short notices to see how my business over there was doing but because it was a scheduled visit I didn't have time to see some friends. 7 years after David and I had our last discussion I came to Nigeria because there was a fraud that happened in my company where I was a CEO. I needed external auditors to look at our books. I tried to speak to David to see if he could help me recommend one but his phone number was not available. I had to speak to three other acquaintances who recommended a particular audit agency to me. The next day I went to see the recommended audit firm. When I got there I was given a visitor's note to fill. I sat there for the next 30 minutes waiting. People were littered in the waiting room. And they were coming in for business. When it was my turn, I stepped into the office and what I saw dropped my jaw- it was actually David sitting behind the desk."

REFLECTION
I keep reminding people that whatever the mind believes, it can go ahead to achieve. The world is filled with inventions from great men who gave the world what we never knew could ever be part of living. Placing a limit on our dreams denies us the requisite fuel that we need to embark on the adventure that births great success stories. We have been blessed with the capacity to have limitless dreams. Do not place a limit on what you could achieve. Do not question your self-worth. You are unique in your way. And the fact that you are here is a big testament that you have something you can give to the world.

When you put a lid on your dreams, your sky ends up becoming your ceiling.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]
Jeddy said, "After my graduation, I was so frantic about getting a job. It was not because I was not good enough but my worry was centered on the prevailing dismal job numbers. The high rate of unemployment had worried me right from my final year in school. I was desperate to get out of the university so that I could move closer to the labour market and begin to test the employment waters. You don't have to blame me because I needed to give back to the fingers that fed me and at the same time begin to build a family. I came from a polygamous family of 14 boys and 5 girls; it was a struggling everyday family where food was a bigger problem than education. I realized quickly enough that if the bigger family had to turn the table and get both education and food on the same level of priority, the older siblings, which I was part of, had to get some jobs- not just any job- pretty fast. So, you can understand the enormous pressure placed on my shoulders by this situation."

Jeddy drove into the garage. He certainly loved the Mercedez brand- in the car park were two more neatly tucked away. He continued, "Unfortunately, the harder I pushed towards getting a job, the more elusive achieving it got. One day someone talked to me about an existing vacancy. I followed-up on the lead and submitted an application. Luckily for me, the recruitment process progressed favourably. Within a few weeks of submitting my application, my new employer handed the offer letter to me. I was so excited that I had finally broken the duck until I opened the offer letter to read the terms. I was shocked when I saw an annual remuneration of N336,000($972) which came to about N28,000($78) per month. How this was going to take care of my feeding, much more my accommodation cost and other attendant needs defied logic. Regardless, I went home with the offer letter to appraise the options ahead of me. In the end, I settled for the job- not because the offer was good but for the fact that it was the only one available at that time."

He submitted the car keys to the house help and continued talking. "I completed the documentation and resumed duties the same week. The salary was inadequate but I was able to manage it for the next 12 months. I had my good and bad days but one bad day would remain indelible. It was my first act of negligence and it happened during a period my supervisor and I were on a night shift in the production room. He left to attend to some other issues while I was left to monitor the production plant. I was to monitor the set parameters to ensure that they did not go beyond the specified threshold. But I slept off. This resulted in some damages worth about N60,000($170). This loss was equivalent to my salary for three months- it was a colossal loss for me. My supervisor was alarmed by the time I brought him up to speed on the damages. He said frantically, ‘This is a very sad development. You have to look for money quickly so that we can cover this up. You need to understand why we can’t make this official. It puts your job on the line especially for someone like you who is relatively new.’ I went home that day a broken man. The only difference between a broken bottle and I was that my cracks were not visible. My heart was so heavy that my legs could not carry me anymore.”

He concluded, “This happened on a Friday evening. I got home and found comfort with my pillow. While I was on my bed crying, my phone rang. It was a friend on the line. He asked if I was fine and then informed me that he submitted the curriculum vitae that I left with him to a multinational company in the FMCG(Fast Moving Consumer Goods) space. He told me that they had completed a shortlist for experienced hires and that my name made the list. I wiped my tears immediately, picked up my GMAT, and started making preparations. Providing the fund to cover for the damages became a secondary issue at that moment. My survival instinct became activated. To cut the story short, I went for that initial test and subsequently for an interview.” With a smile this time Kieran said, “I made it. I went crazy the day I picked up my offer letter. My remuneration has moved from annual pay in six figures to eight figures. My life was for sure a roller coaster but I love how I moved from the trough to the peak. It's like a story you find in the Disney tales"

REFLECTION
As Jeddy said, life is like a roller coaster- it takes you through the lights and shades of nature until you define a path for yourself by virtue of the choices you make. Going through the story, you would realize that as life tossed Jeddy through the difficult pathway, it still vested on him the authority to make his choices. From a part of his story that I didn't capture here, Kieran went for the test with a friend but his friend rejected the offer when he saw the remuneration. But Jeddy rode his luck. That one year that he spent managing the meager salary (which his friend rejected) was what qualified him as an experienced hire for the next job.

The other interesting part is that the challenge he had at the place of work sparked the desire to change his situation. He knew that kind of life didn't suit his dreams. The moment that call came in, he knew he had to grab that opportunity with both hands. The N60,000($170) that he was asked to pay for damages gave him an insight into what was ahead of him on the job. He told me that he was awake all through the night preparing for that test with the multinational. You can see the motivation he had. You have to look at your situation and ask yourself. Is this where I should be? If the answer is NO, you don't need any other motivation to prepare you for the opportunities that abound.

For more:
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[b][/b]

I was observing Israel as he wheeled over to the table. His upper torso looked so big and you could feel the strength packed in his biceps. He said, "When I got to the motor park, I went straight to the cashier to make payment. However, she was busy chatting like a chatterbox. It took her 20 minutes on average to attend to one passenger. This infuriated some passengers and really got them angry. When I couldn't bear it anymore, I had to call her out in front of everyone. A quarrel ensued between us. The manager of the transport company had to intervene to calm the atmosphere. I was filled with rage as I left for onboarding. You can understand why I was still seething with anger by the time I got to the bus. I met one available seat at the front and went straight for it. Hardly had I sat on the bus when a lady approached me and said that I should vacate the seat. She claimed that it was her sitting position. I glanced at her but didn’t move nor say a word. It was actually her seat but I was not going to relinquish the last seat on the bus to anyone- the bus that would have carried me left while I was at the ticket office ranting. Even the driver of the bus could not convince me to change my mind. I was already fired up for battle after the altercation with the cashier. The manager appeared again and was able to convince the lady to join the second bus. I was glad when I finally saw her walk away."

Israel continued, "The bus took off at exactly 9 a.m that fateful day. My phone’s battery was down and I needed to charge it. I was trying to fix the driver's car charger so that I could use it to charge my phone when I heard a loud bang. That was the last thing I remembered. I woke up in a hospital with bandages and some gadgets bound all over my body. There was an accident- it was a head-on collision with another bus. I was told that both the driver and the other passenger that sat beside me didn't make it. The driver died instantly while the passenger died the next day in the hospital. I had been in a coma for one week, I was told. It was later revealed to me that I had lost communication with my legs and must have them amputated to save my life. The bones were crushed and the nerve endings badly damaged. Nothing else could save me. I sacrificed those legs to save my life. The amputated legs and a scar on my right shoulder etched the incidents of that Monday morning on my mind. However, I refused to blame myself for what happened that morning. Each time I analyzed the incident, I refused to blame myself for not letting go of the seat. I saw the accident as my journey towards a destined path. Riding in the second bus or any other might not have saved me.”

Israel wiped away the sweat on his forehead. "I was later discharged and I moved on with my life. I had to readjust to new ways of doing things. Life was tough with two legs but I had to accept the fact that I was going to live the rest of mine with none. It was hard to accept but at a point, I chose to start listening to motivational podcasts and reading motivational books anywhere I could find one. This had a stupendous effect on me. I knew immediately that I still had the chance to choose how the remaining part of my life unfolds. I woke up one day and started visiting the gym. I did it initially to stay fit because I had been stuck in bed for too long- both in the hospital and at home. I had been advised by some health-personnel to see if I could get my body and limbs busy. It was in one of my visits to the gym that I met James who introduced himself as a fitness trainer. He told me that he was fascinated by my zeal and commitment. He would go on to introduce me to the dynamics and basic principles in weightlifting. I later went ahead to represent my country at the world weightlifting championship. That moment became a great honour and the apotheosis of my career."


REFLECTION
Life is all about how we react to one thing; what happens to us. It is more like looking at a glass of water filled halfway as either half full or half empty. Whatever message you pass to your subconscious mind decides the withdrawals you make from it.

Israel refused to succumb to adversity. Refusing to play the victim of his circumstances was a mighty step in becoming who he ended up to be. The average person would have submitted completely to disability. But he found a great ability where most people would not succeed.

For more;
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[b][/b]

Rita has got the curves and they are well outlined. She dresses for it in a manner that accentuates her beauty. And this day, she didn't disappoint.

She said to me, “You can understand how it feels when you are passed over, year after year, for promotion. The dream of every professional is to rise in career ranks. I am aware promotion means different things to different people. Some want it for the money, some for the advancement in rank, and some for the bragging right that they have finally arrived. I wanted it for all the reasons. Unfortunately, the more I desired it, the more elusive it became. I searched everywhere for answers to know why I had to stay for 7 years without promotion but I drew a blank every single time. I got used to every cycle in the promotion process. You know that kind of feeling that flashes through you when the atmosphere in the office reaches a fever pitch and everyone is expecting the promotion list to be announced. Then you hear that first scream and then observe people start to cluster around certain people while grinning and uttering ‘congratulations’. This is when those like us that have a history of being passed over die one million times before they get to the end of the list.”


Rita has flipped her hair for the umpteenth time. How women do this spontaneously and repeatedly still amazes me. She continued, “I did not go through this feeling just once. I did, every single time within seven years of disappointment. The reassuring words from friends and then my boss, when I had a considerate one, would begin to give me hope again. I would live the rest of the months working hard and driving all the performance indices communicated to me- it was a crazy cycle. There were seven tortuous years but somehow I kept believing my time would come. I must state that the hardest part of the wait was to see my peers move ahead in ranks and it got so bad when some decided to rub it in my face with an obvious agenda- to slight me or get to my nerves. In one incident, I was done for the day and was walking towards the exit door to fetch my car when I realized the door was locked. When I demanded for the keys, I was told that they were with Joane, a junior by three years who got ahead of me as a result of my predicament. Joane, when consulted, instructed them to tell me to return to my seat and wait until every other person was ready to close- yes, it got to this low."

She continued, "During one of my vacations, I traveled to stay with a childhood friend for a few days. Sunday fell within the period of my visit. I was to travel back the same Sunday which happened to be the last day of the visit. I did not want to go for a Sunday service because I felt I needed to rest before taking the long trip back home. But my friend insisted and dragged me to church. During the church program, the pastor started a special prayer session. He was inviting people to the front for special prayers; though under categories. We were categorized across the sick, those that are seeking the fruit of the womb and those searching for jobs. When he was almost done, it was as if he forgot something. He turned quickly and invited those who had been passed over for promotion for a long time to come out for prayers. About 5 of us stepped out and he prayed for us. But for a reason that I have not been able to explain even to date, he singled me out and asked for how many years I had been waiting for a promotion. I recall telling him that I had waited for seven years. He responded by saying, 'everything is going to be alright. Just put your faith in God'"

She would close this way, "I got back to base and resumed work the following day. Later that Monday morning, I was told that I had a caller from the head office waiting on the phone. When I picked up the phone, a male voice came on and asked how I was doing. He asked some further questions about my job environment and how long I had been with the company. Before he dropped the phone, he introduced himself as the CEO of the company. He said that he was at the same church on Sunday when I stepped out for prayers. He promised to look into my case and equally review my performance indices. From my investigation after the call, I got to learn that it was another staff in the church that told him that I work for the company. That incident at the church revived my career. I was promoted twice in three years and was later recommended to head a new branch of the company in a neighboring city."

REFLECTION
Instead of seeing hard times as the thief that came to steal our joy and comfort away, we should take it as an experience that prepares us for what is to come. It is one of the most difficult things to do but if we can persevere long enough, the best way to handle difficult times is by just living through it by the day- don't blame it on someone, don't ask why it is happening to you and don't let it steal your sleep. Because after the storm comes the calm.

Rita told me that the experience at the church drew her closer to God, more than ever. And again, those seven years of working hard to earn a promotion and the emotional experiences she went through all came together as part of the experience she applied in her new role as the head of the new branch. As they say, hard times will run us through the mud until we get the teachings they come to instill in us.


For more:
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[b][/b]

I was invited to Victor's farm. My curiosity about what inspired the poultry business took him down memory lane. He said, "My boss at the office was a menace. He was the kind of boss that would make one unwilling to get ready in the morning and show up at the office. That he made life excruciating for people like me would be the greatest understatement of the year. I told someone while speaking about him one day that it was either that he lacked empathy or that he was born without a conscience. His apathy towards me was grossly underscored by his reaction the day I reported late to work owing to an unavoidable family issue. I got home the previous day and met my pregnant wife unconscious. Honestly, I didn't know how we got to the hospital. The doctor recommended that they hospitalize her. I slept in the hospital but got back to prepare for work relatively late the following morning. Despite the fact that I explained everything to my boss, he went ahead and issued a query to me. I can't recall any incident in my life that caused me the level of sadness that I felt that day- it definitely got to my bones."

Victor picked up the intercom and instructed his manager to prepare four fresh chickens(layers) for me. Then he went on. "When my wife finally put to bed, I explained to my boss that my wife had no helper and pleaded that I should be granted a week's vacation until I could get someone to assist her. He refused and rather threatened to have me transferred to a unit that would keep me longer in the office. I was so angry, to the extent that my reasoning faculty malfunctioned at that moment. Right there that morning, I walked out of the office and left for the hospital to be with my wife- I didn't care about his approval anymore because my wife and my baby were of paramount importance to me. I knew a query would be waiting for me on my return and my boss didn't disappoint. He queried me and had my case reported to the management of the firm. Consequently, I was sent on a 2-week suspension without pay. You can imagine not having your complete take-home pay because someone was trying to play God in your life. I began to sense that the handshake between my boss and I was beginning to get towards the elbow- it was an uncomfortable revelation. As a matter of fact,
I got home that day and wept like a woman whose heart was pummelled by a hammer-wielding lover boy."

He lifted the receiver once more and instructed the manager to add two crates of egg to the five chickens. I tried to express my gratitude but he waved it aside and continued. "The relationship between my boss and I was in a fast decline. It got to a point that my boss was recommending new staff for pay raise ahead of me. If this was as a result of performance, I wouldn't have bothered. But it was glaring that he did all those out of hatred towards me. I was actually threatened and had to be walked out of his office the day I went there to have a formal discussion on my issue. That was the last straw that fractured the camel's back. I walked in the next day and tossed my resignation letter across his desk. I will never forget the awe on his face. He didn't believe I was ever going to make a decision like that. He thought my life depended so much on the job that I would prefer suicide to quitting."

He concluded, "At the point of resignation, there was no plan whatsoever on what to do next. It was spontaneous and anger-driven more than it was purpose-driven. For the first week, I was actually worried if I made the right decision. For the next three months, I was on the streets searching for a new job. When I realized that the result I had desired was not forthcoming, I decided to make desperate changes for desperate times. I went online and read everything I could find about running a poultry farm. When I was sure that I had learned the basic things, I used a small corner in the village to make a poultry house. I started off with 200 chicks- this would increase to 300 and a little bit later, I was doing 500 capacity poultry. I was in a bar drinking with a friend about two years after starting the business when someone drinking with us in the bar mentioned the AGRIC LOAN SCHEME advanced by the central bank of Nigeria to small farmers. For those that think that the bar offers nothing meaningful, good things can actually come from 'Nazareth'. I made further inquiries thereafter and applied for the loan. Five years down the line, I became the owner of the biggest poultry farm in my local government. Presently, we have over 20,000 layers in my poultry. I thought my former boss had frustrated me into a mess but I realized he forced me into a pot of gold. I learnt that he lost his job 4 years after I left. But this is no longer my cup of tea. I resigned and moved on leaving him and the past behind."


REFLECTION
Difficult situations in our lives, much like difficult people, can drive us to something beneficial. It is a widely accepted fact that places of comfort don't offer fresh opportunities. Unfortunately, they are the places most coveted because of the comfort they offer. We live in them and forget the world that exists outside. However, when trouble looms, we are forced to dash out of it like a little mouse holed up comfortably in a dark hole. In every hard time we face, we must endeavour to seek the inherent benefits and grab them by the reins.

You could be going through some hard times in your office or workplace. I don't know how bad it could be. But I know there exist inherent benefits if you look hard enough.

For more:
https://anekearinzeblog.com

[b][/b]I met Elvis at the gym and we ended up becoming friends. I was in his house on a visit one Sunday afternoon when he opened up this discussion. “I struggled to finish my secondary education. I was raised by a single parent. My father was expected to have taken a second wife but the idea was dead on arrival. Why he did so, he didn't explain to me. As soon as I was done with secondary school, I had to go off to learn a trade. I settled for the cement business. I led a normal life and made just enough money to put food on the table and take care of my basic needs. I knew my life could be better but I was just okay with what I had. I kept managing until I got married. Even at this point, I was okay with what life I was living.”

He offered to get a bottle of malt for me but I declined. He continued. “One day, I sat down and went soul searching about my life. That was the day it dawned on me that I was living beyond my full potential. Yet, this realization was not enough to spur me into action- you know what they say about comfort zones not bearing new dreams. But after I lost my dad and had to fund his burial ceremony, I began to struggle. Putting food on the table became an issue. There were times my family had just one square meal a day. My situation became pronounced when my rent became delayed. The landlord who got fed up with my antics to cover my inability to pay served us a quit notice. My family and I moved from a three-bedroom apartment to one room. Even at this point, I was still being told that my challenges were traced to my ancestors who were unhappy over an incident that happened so many decades ago. An incident that no one could say.”

Elvis said, “Things remained this way until I got fed up with my situation. There was this seething anger about the key decisions that I had taken in the past. It became clear the mediocre life that I was having was a sum total of those bad decisions. It was then that it dawned on me that nothing needed to change except myself. My ancestors didn't need to change- nobody but the man in the mirror needed that change. That was the day I sat and reviewed the key decisions that I had taken in the past. It was crystal clear that I was my biggest barrier to a better life. I was expecting change when I was comfortable doing the same thing all over. I resolved that day that I must begin to do things differently and better. I enrolled in evening classes and wrote the necessary examinations to help me secure admission into the university.”

He concluded, “I got my first degree and later went for MSc and Ph.D. I took off the lid placed on my reasoning(decision making) by the alleged ancestral curse. I laid off my manager who I was dating secretly. My eyes got opened to the fact that she was one of my business problems. Within 6 months of employing a new manager, my business improved astronomically. Presently, I am the biggest importer of sisal fiber in the market.”

REFLECTION
There are so many easy journeys we can make in life. But making that journey looks impossible because we don't take that decision to begin. When we become okay with the mediocre life that we live, it becomes normal. Our body and our way of thinking will begin to adjust to that very way of life. It becomes a comfort zone that blinds one to every other thing existing outside of the comfort zone. Elvis knew ab initio that he deserved more from life but he wasn't ready to ask for that more. But like every other thing we do in life, the moment he realized that he needed to make a choice and take action, everything changed.

For more:
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[b][/b]Dave and I attended the same school. I bumped into him some months back at the mechanic shop where I went to fix my car. He said to me when we got talking, “My father retired meritoriously after serving the country for 35 years. Unfortunately, his retirement package was more like a stipend. Sooner was it paid than the demands that took it away surfaced. By the time he fixed our leaking roof, his bicycle, and attended to other family demands, the money sublimed into thin air. My father joined the civil service at the local government level at an early age. As a result, he retired early after putting in decades of stellar performances in his active days.”

He continued. “My father became worried over time. He was more bothered about how the next twenty years of his life was going to turn out than worrying over his underlying health conditions. I tried several times to remind him that worrying worsens our situation. He would sound as if he heeded to my advice but with every single day that passes you would notice that he was fading away. My father was a perfectionist. You can understand while the future bothered him a lot. While he was in active duty, he would get his office clothes ready in a manner that they would last for the weeks ahead. His diary was the most important gift he left behind. It captured detailed expressions of how he planned for the week ahead. However, too much worry got him sick that he was taken to the hospital for medical attention. We were told that his blood pressure took a spoke and put him in great danger. He ended up being discharged after spending three days in the hospital.”

The mechanic beckoned Dave to come and start his car. When he returned, he said, “About a few days after being discharged, I heard my mother screaming at the top of her voice. I rushed out and met my father lying lifeless on the floor. I could only notice the eyeballs moving. We got him to the hospital only to be told that he had suffered a stroke. We later took him home after we must have spent a couple of weeks in the hospital. After a couple of days that he was discharged from the hospital, he invited me to the corner of his bed and said to me, “My son, my situation is getting worse by the day. I had high hopes as a young man. I was one of the few in the village that had the privilege of attending Standard 6. No one was surprised when I got the job at the local government headquarters. I did all I could but it wasn't enough. I thought I would have built a house for the family by now. But lo and behold, I am still holding up in my late father's house. If I couldn't do it while in active service, I doubt if I can ever achieve it now. My father would have classified me as a total failure if he were to be alive’’.

Dave concluded before we both left the workshop. “My father died the next morning in his sleep. Till today those words he said to me about being a failure kept haunting me. I was saddened by the events that followed up after his death- not because they were bad but because they unfolded at the wrong time. We had this small plot of land very close to the pathway that led to our village. It was so small that my father's siblings rejected it. But being the last of three boys and a girl, it was forced on my father as part of his share of his father's inheritance. It happened that one of the mobile telecommunications companies came to my town to site a mast. They ended up choosing this plot of land that everyone neglected. In the end, the contract was signed and this put so much money in our hands. We would take some money from there to build a house for the family. This is the house that my father died for because he believed he was never going to see one in his lifetime. It was a big lesson for me. It was an experience that enriched me.”


REFLECTION
Some days are hard but it doesn't mean that the days ahead don’t have the potential to turn out better. The trials and tribulation of life could make us feel as if there is nothing more to live for. But keeping that glimmer of hope alive could be the key that helps one escape the rigours that come with hopelessness. No matter how hard things are now, we should always believe there is the hope of better days ahead. Dave’s father forgot that even though retirement and age seemed to have put a finite limit on him, the opportunities that his tomorrow had the tendency of presenting were always going to be infinite. We can never know what tomorrow could bring on the table. Hope, we must have a firm grip on. The day we let it go is that day we begin to die slowly. Dave's father let it go and lost his soul.

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[b][/b]Teddy and I were driving to the birthday party of his friend, Jude, when he came up with this story. “Jude and I were birthmates. This information was passed to us by our parents who were very close family friends. Jude's father was a politician. Consequently, they had all the money to throw on him and his siblings. During our senior secondary school days, he was very popular and the darling of the average girl in school. You could easily feel that undeniable crush they had on him. After all, his dad was popular and his flamboyant lifestyle impacted so much on his son's. I became a bit jealous at the beginning but this transcended into envy when Jude became the barometer for measuring every aspect of my life. That green-eyed monster finally took my heart hostage when a girl that I had a crush on rejected my advances because she was expecting Jude's instead. She didn't want a clog in the wheel of her proposed source of happiness; how I became that clog angered me the more."

Teddy gasped as he stepped on the brake. But he went on. "Jude was endowed- he was exceptionally brilliant and handsome. The girls would giggle each time he got an answer right in the class. There were times that I wished that he flunked the questions. It got so much into my head that I started jumping to questions so I could answer them first and steal the limelight. Rather, this condition became like the disease that ended up killing the doctor that came to cure it- my performance in the class declined because I didn't prepare before jumping into questions. And this impacted negatively on my attention span in the class.”


He continued, “The desire to outshine Jude drove me into further vices. I would cheat during tests and examinations in order to make better scores than Jude. I would cook up stories to get more money from my parents so I could match Jude's lifestyle. One of our friends was bold enough to tell me during a fight that I was living the 'Jude's Creed' and that it could sink me if I didn't put it in check. I knew it was a candid outburst but I wouldn't listen. It was an inordinate desire that was biting hard but applying a soothing effect simultaneously in order to compensate for the harm like the proverbial wizard rat. My inadequacy got heightened when I was caught cheating during our senior school certificate examination. It was a masterminded plot to have the final bragging right that I finished secondary school better than Jude academically. This stupid desire backfired and cost me that examination- but in contrast, Jude moved on and ended up a year ahead of me. He would go on to study medicine at the university. I had to rewrite the senior school certificate examination and this time around the competition was relatively insignificant because Jude was no longer there. I did well and my parents were proud that I redeemed their dignity and mine.”


He laughed and continued. "One would have thought that the separation would stop driving the narrative for competition but I went on to study medicine in the university too. Six years after, Jude would end up becoming a seasoned doctor and a household name around the city. But I was struggling and my life was deteriorating before my eyes. I was not a happy man. I began to live without purpose. I started drinking heavily and got into a lot of issues. The consequences were almost cataclysmic and dire- I almost lost my medical license. One day, I went to visit my pastor and revealed the scars of the past years to him. When I was done, he asked me, 'Whose idea was it for you to study medicine?'. I hesitated for a while before opening up and narrated in detail how I got myself into the precarious position that I was in. My pastor told me that I allowed envy to take me captive and push me to the wrong choices. He advised me to return home that night and ask myself some honest questions. He assured me that I would find my way if I was honest enough about the answers that I provided."

In the concluding part, Jude said, "I did as advised and discovered that I had always been fascinated by the law profession. My childhood days were rooted in playing the lawyer part whenever we engaged in kid dramas. But envy blinded me and pushed me into the situation that almost consumed me. I later returned to the university to study law. It took me five years and an extra two years for law school and my national service program but it was a fulfilling experience. I found my comfort zone. A couple of years later, Jude's father was involved in an election tribunal case after the result of an election was questioned and rejected. He hired me. I gave it my best shot and we ended up getting judgement in our favour. It became one of my high profile cases. That judgement was the springboard that I needed to propel myself to the next level. And that did happen."


REFLECTION
You can see how jealousy can blind us and make us live a life alien to us. It forces us into leaving someone else's life. Teddy was blinded by jealousy that he went astray and almost crashed his life. That moment he took to alcohol would have destroyed him- his license would have gone in a twinkle. That happening would have tainted his records. Good enough, he found his way back. We have different races to run. Don't let the progress of another person's race be a distraction to you- always remember that to every fruit, there is a season. Find that purpose that sets a fire under your belly and go for it.

For more;
https://anekearinzeblog.com

I[b][/b]t was a public holiday. You can understand why it was easy to get George’s attention. He said, "I was advised by a friend that Lagos would offer better job opportunities. I had to spend the last 2 years of the 6 in Lagos walking the streets in search of jobs. My shoes felt the brunt of this experience; they had chopped so much that they looked like sliced plantain. My psyche took some pummeling from the ravaging experience. I felt worthless like a man who no woman wants his hand in marriage. You know that kind of feeling when other drivers were allowed to drive the wrong way only for the road Marshall to flag you down the moment you drove through. That would feel as if the world was against you.”

George continued, “It got to a point that I became tired of Lagos and decided to travel to Onitsha to see my parents. I got to Onitsha on a Friday evening. While I was moving my luggage out of the taxi, I bumped into a friend and we got talking. He told me that one of the commercial banks in the city was having a test the next day. I was equally informed that the shortlisting of candidates had been concluded and advised not to bother about taking a chance. But on the morning of the test, I thought about my situation and realized that there was nothing to lose if I ended up showing up at the venue; something inside of me urged me to gatecrash the test and I did just that. The venue was filled by all categories of job seekers. I noticed that people were updating a register as they arrived. I was told that it was for shortlisted candidates but I went ahead and captured my name in the register. I knew I had to take my chances. ‘If I don't take my chances, someone else might’, I thought.”

He went on talking. "Candidates were called-in in batches. Batch after batch was invited into the hall but my name remained elusive. I was getting pensive as minutes turned to hours. At about 5pm, the coordinator came out with a list and announced that it was going to be the batch before the final one. My heartbeat raced like a Ferrari in a Grand Prix tour as the names were bellowed out- yet again my name was missing in the list. I became so worried when I appraised my situation- it dawned on me that I had one lifeline left. And that one lifeline is The final list. When it was time to announce those on the last list, my mind drifted away. Honestly, I started thinking about going home unfulfilled when I heard a friend sitting nearby screaming my name. This startled me. I realized that my name was the last on the list. We wrote the test with the hall heavily lit because it was already getting dark. The following week, a friend who went to look up the test result called to inform me that I made it- but this time, my name was sitting at number 4 on the list. I realized that day that there are times you have to trust your gut feelings"



REFLECTION

Our journey through a destined part could be slowed but it can never be denied. Georges’ was delayed but he got to the desired destination. George told me that he had always wanted a banking job(that was before reforms messed up the system for employees). He said he loved the suits and the air conditioned environment. Banking jobs had more security than the White House those days but the Nigerian banking reform of 2019 and the economic situation changed it all. The turning point for George was gatecrashing the job test. He said that it was one of those decisions that turned his life and made it stand on its feet once again.

We have to be brave and positive about our decisions. Even when the chances appear slim, we have to keep trying. You can never tell how it is going to end up. The decisions that hurt so much in life are not the ones that we took but failed- they are the ones that we never took. Looking back at the story, you will realize that having his name called was not within George’s control. But it happened because he acted on the part within his control; by showing up regardless of the doubts.


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[b][/b]The machetes were glittering against the bright sunny afternoon. The bearers were definitely under the influence of something but I couldn't say what it was. Some of the boys were bare-chested with the simmering hot weather accentuating the sweat pouring out of the sweat pores. I didn't know exactly what was happening. Initially, I thought they were there to exhume the corpse of their buried friend but it became obvious as they advanced that they were there on a different mission. They got to the freshly covered grave and danced round it singing and chanting. I noticed that some of them were carrying bottled drinks with unconfirmed liquid content. That could be the secret of the energy being exhibited.

It was later established that they were there to pay the last homage to one of their own. He died a youth and such death could be painful both to the surviving family members and his friends. The young man leading the procession had some yellow palm fronds tied around his head, wrist, and waist. He was more like the choreographer- the beats were in sequence with his body movements. Suddenly he took some short sprints, braked suddenly in order to kill his momentum, and then went through the cycle again. He turned sharply and pointed his machete towards a tall palm tree in the compound. There were screams from the crowd urging him on. He ran towards the tree, grabbed the trunk, and started advancing towards the top; with the unbranched stem in mind.

This move was met with disapproval from the onlookers and mourners. They knew he was going for the top of the palm tree to dismember the freshly grown yellow fronds at the middle of the unbranched stem- and no palm tree survives this. One onlooker was even sadder because the palm had three bunches of palm fruits on it. They were a few weeks from getting ripe. He said to me, “this is much like killing a woman pregnant with triplets”. The boys went about their tasks with no qualms. The leader got to the top, performed some acrobatic moves, grabbed the freshly grown fronds, and dislodged them from the tree- he was dropping them from the height, one after another. The mood everywhere was sombre except for the boys singing and gyrating to the music. “It is done”, the same elder beside me murmured.

I was sad when I left that day. I was told that the owner of the palm tree was a widow. The palm fruits were a source of income for her. She made palm oil from them which she would sell to put food on the table. I thought, ‘they destroyed the tree and the owner in one stupid moment’.

A few months after this incident- five months to be precise- I was at the same location for a funeral ceremony. My first interest was seeking out the very palm tree that they tried to murder the last time I visited. To my greatest surprise, the tree survived. I noticed that the fronds were growing again. This signified a sign of life. I sighted about two small bunches of palm fruits sitting by the side of the unbranched stem. ‘The woman they could not kill is now heavy with twin babies’, I thought. I smiled, took a picture, and went about my major reason for the visit.

REFLECTION
Your dreams are still waiting for you as long as you are still alive and breathing. The times could be tough and naysayers could be all around you. But nothing happens until you have served the purpose you have been destined for. Go and fulfill your dreams and be unapologetic about it. The boys thought they had the survival of the palm tree in their hands. They did all they could to determine its fate. But it was not yet time- it survived and bore new fruits. It is given that there are a lot of people waiting for you to fail but like in the palm tree story, it is not within them to decide how your life pans out. Listen to the heartbeats of your heart and seize the reins of life.

Those enemies might be scheming for your life, but always remember that your life is bigger than all of them.

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[b][/b]Dreams? Yes!
No matter your age, colour, gender, and background, your dreams will always remain valid- until you give up on it. Jelena Ostapenko fought back from the brink to topple French Open favourite Simona Halep in three sets to pull off one of the greatest upsets in the grand slam. Her professional career started on April 23, 2012.

At the 2017 French Open finals, Jelena Ostapenko, the assumed underdog and world No. 47 became the first unseeded player to win the title at 2017 Roland Garros since 1933 and she equally became the first player from Latvia to ever win a Grand Slam. She said after her outstanding win over Halep in the 2017 finals,

"I mean, I can’t think I’m Roland Garros champion. I’m only 20 years old. It’s just so amazing to be here!"

She continued with excitement,

"I have no words – it was my dream!
I still cannot believe it. When I was a child I was watching players playing here. I just enjoy being here so much."

Despite finding herself 4-6 0-3 down, while also being down a break at 1-3, she just stuck true to her beliefs on the court and kept plugging away against Halep the third seed. Halep had played in two French Open finals, one Wimbledon and US Open finals each and in two Australian Open quarter-finals but her experience did not count in the finals as she lost to a 20-year-old unseeded Jelena Ostepenko.

Jelena continued after the game. "I know Simona is a great player. I just kept trying to play my game. Everything turned my way, I was just fighting for every point!"


REFLECTION
The capacity to dream is one of the few rights that the rich and the poor share together. The educated and the illiterate can dream for all they want. You do not need money, fame nor connection to dream. You have to dream first before you can worry about your dreams coming true. Consequently, there are three things you must do; dream, dream, and dream.

Jelena said that she had been watching legends being made on the tennis court. She definitely dreamt of becoming one- going by her statement. But the dream did not end there. She picked up the racket and worked her socks off in the tennis court. Most importantly, she kept believing and thereby feeding her subconscious mind of the needed positive vibes.

Once you have your dreams, you must wake up if you want your dreams to come true. Whatever it is, get up and go for it. Stop thinking about that job. Get up and submit your resume or curriculum vitae. Stop dreaming about that degree. Get up and pick that form. Stop dreaming about that lady being your wife. Get up and make that proposal. Stop dreaming about that house. Get up and start that foundation.

Feed your mind with the right positive ingredients and then take action. What you will achieve at the end would amaze you.

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[b][/b]Diane's body language appeared solemn. "I became a widow after my third child. She was barely 3 months old when her daddy- who was my husband too- was murdered on his way back from work. I was left with three girls to look after. My parents literally worked through hell to raise my other four siblings. It was very daunting despite the fact that they leveraged their combined resources. The mountain that my parents climbed with two sets of complete legs was staring before me- unfortunately, I had one shaky leg in my arsenal to follow in their footsteps. I knew the odds were stacked against me but I swore to do my best to raise the girls, or die trying."

Diane puffed and said, "One great mistake I made though was underrating the impact of my husband's death vis-á-vis the cooperation expected from his brothers. Hardly had he been buried when they started scheming to take everything away from us. The only reasonable one that pretended to be on my side wanted a bargain; I was told to warm his bed or lose the support. I refused with no iota of ambiguity."

Diane continued. "All hell was let loose for my refusal to sleep with my late husband's brother. This would end up uniting all of them. I was told by a wife to one of the brothers that they were licking their lips because I had no male child to claim an inheritance. They devised a perfect plot to put my husband's murder on me and then send the children and me away. This would clear the road for them to confiscate our property in the city and the plots of land in the village. And they succeeded. I was ready to fight back but my mother advised against this. I remember her saying to me, 'my late father used to tell me that you don't fight for the chairs when you haven't secured the land to set them on. The safety of your children is paramount. Let us do the first things first'. I paid heed to the advice and left with the kids to go and put up with my mother. My children and I would do all menial jobs to make money. We served concrete as masons at building sites. We went to the locations of wedding and burial ceremonies to help the celebrants or hosts secure valuable items by gathering used plates and empty bottles at the end of the ceremonies. This was how my girls were able to graduate from the university, one after the other."

She sighed and went on. "We thought we had weathered the storm but tragedy struck again; I lost my first child in a fatal road accident during her National Youth Service Programme. She was just two years away from practicing as a qualified surgeon. Losing my husband was huge but this one became the apogee of my sorrow. I didn't know I would recover from it. Whenever I reflect on my past travails, I become resigned to the fact that the need to live and fight for Jane and Jessy kept me going. Both later graduated but none could get a good job. Jessy, my second child, returned to the village and resorted to serving concrete to earn some money for the family and herself. It was while doing this that she met Barry at his building site. Her agility and humility fascinated Barry who was a medical doctor based in the US. They got married three months after their first meeting. During their wedding, Jane who was the chief bride would bond and get married to Jason, the Bestman. Jason was a senior military officer with the Nigerian Army. He came out of the military cadet a few years back."

She concluded, "Jessy's marriage was the turning point that we all needed and hoped for. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle started falling into place. I got my spiritual mojo back. I knew immediately that it was time to recover everything they took away from me. Backed by my kids and third husbands, we took the fight to my late husband's brothers. Jason as a senior army officer intimidated them with his connections while my last child who graduated as a lawyer had a spectacular outing in the court. They all ran away with their tails in between their legs. I later followed Jessy to the United States. I lived there for 13 years and got my citizenship in-between. My husband's brothers were dragging my village citizenship with me because I bore girls for my husband; but today, by His grace, I have United States citizenship. Thank God I didn't die dragging those property with them. I established a good business in the US where I sold African dishes and cuisine and it thrived beyond expectation. I would have left those property for them if not for the way they treated me. But in the end, I needed to reward someone. In this regard, Jessy and Jane suggested that I adopt a son. We did just that. He graduated as a medical doctor and I single-handedly built a hospital in my village for him- so I could give back to my people."

REFLECTION
Diane understood the concept of perseverance. She knew her life was not going to succeed on irrational short term measures- like fighting her husband's brothers head-on at the wrong time. She knew that if she had to survive, she needed to do the little battles of life first. She understood that her major fight was with hunger and the education of her daughters. Those victories from the smaller battles gave her the leverage to go all out for the war of life. The survival of the girls was set at the top of the priority list. Don't allow distractions to take your attention away from what needs to be done.

Never allow difficult times to dampen your spirit. Stay inspired and always remember that what doesn't kill you would make you tougher and keep you in shape to fight the challenges ahead. Your efforts and sweat will make sense one day.


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[b][/b]Harry was lively today. "While growing up, attaining a formal education was not at the top of my priority list. You won't blame me much. When the she-goat chews the cud, the kid watches on- the uncles I had around me then were either traders or businessmen. Their flamboyant lifestyles fascinated me and over time it became like the bee to nectar attraction. The apprenticeship model in the south-eastern part of Nigeria has made more millionaires than the universities have produced even in the modern era. It is an unstructured enrichment system; you undergo a business or trading tutelage and get settled with some take-off find; advancing other resources like shops or stock to the apprentice might be factored as added incentives. The apprentice becomes a boss someday and takes up new entrants to keep the cycle going. This way, the Igbo's in the south-eastern part of Nigeria, were able to rebound economically after the Biafran Civil war. It was this established and honorable path that I chose to bank my future on."

Harry continued, "I left for Nnewi at a very young age. I was a few months from being categorized as a toddler. The experience was a total submission to a way of life alien to where I was coming from. I came from a Protestant family. But this faith was sacrificed in total submission to my boss' Catholic faith. I went for a catholic catechism and took my first communion as one. I became conditioned to a long-distance trek; to and fro the market. It was part of the training and we(the apprentices) all moved in droves which made it exciting as we chatted and played along the road to the market. I practically became a sales boy and a house help at the same time. Royalty to the boss and then his entire household could make or mar an apprentice's future. Coming back from the shop, I would find all the domestic chores waiting for me. The shop was for my boss while the home left me at the mercy of the boss lady and the children. For the first five years I spent with my boss, I didn't have a sight of my parents or siblings. Asking to see them, even when they lived in the same city, was a taboo."

Harry ordered for meat pie and a glass of juice for me. "I served my boss meritoriously for 9 calendar years. As days turned to nights, I eagerly awaited my settlement- this means the termination of the apprenticeship contract. In my tenth year, my boss changed. It began to manifest through his behavior that he didn't want to honor his side of the contract. I was shocked when I arrived home from the shop one evening and met a small crowd gathered in front of my boss' house. When I moved closer, I saw my box lying open at the center of the gathered crowd. Lying inside the box we're my clothes and lumps of money. The boss lady accused me of stealing from them. I was sent home like a thief- after serving my boss for 10 consecutive years. It was the only lacuna in the apprenticeship system that fraudulent bosses take advantage of to renege on their commitments."

He concluded, "I arrived home and felt like a complete stranger. Remember I left at a very tender age. But you see, that experience taught me that every stage of life or experience we go through prepares us for the next level of life. One day while I sat appraising the last ten years of my life, I recalled that while with my boss who was a spare parts dealer, I learnt more of baking from his lazy wife who ran a confectionery. I was schooled in the key aspect of the confectionery business over the ten years I spent with them- the boss lady was the 'Queen Bee' that never wanted to work. It was an experience that I was fortunate to have garnered, though more by accident than a pre-arranged process. I quickly borrowed money but started slowly. The business posed a lot of challenges at the outset but I didn't give up. It was easy to manage my expenses and lifestyle owing to the type of life that I had been conditioned to. Today, we have 5 outlets in two big cities. The business became a household name. Thanks to the apprentice contract that didn't fulfill the originally intended purpose."

REFLECTION
According to Napoleon Hill in 'Think and Grow Rich', every adversity comes with a seed of equivalent or better benefits. We can always find them if we look hard enough. Hyacinth saw his experience with the boss's wife as ill-treatment. And truly, the boss's wife exposed him to those chores out of providence. It was not done with the right intention. She had kids the same age as Hyacinth but all the chores were left at his feet. In the end, the baking experience became his saving grace. We should always know that the bad days are there to give us the encouragement to look forward to the good ones

EVERY EXPERIENCE WE GO THROUGH PREPARES US FOR THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT ABOUND.

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[b][/b]Melanie was a single mother of five children. She had a tough time raising five black kids who all lived in the same apartment with her. Things were so tough for her that Poundworld, a variety store in the UK became their favorite shopping place. Poundworld sells most of its items for £1 or less. She benefited too from the free school meal voucher scheme in the UK- a feeding scheme that helps low-income families put food on the table for school children.

In order to lessen the burden at home and to help one of her younger sons, Melanie had an agreement with a football club to allow her son into the club's youth programme a year earlier. Her son would join the football club at 11 years which was at variance with the 12 years stipulated as the entry age to the youth academy.

Melanie would go for a full week shopping at Poundworld and end up embracing a ration system that would ensure it lasts beyond seven days for the family. Fast forward to 11 years after her son joined the youth academy, Melanie would end up becoming the mother to one of the most exciting young forward in the history of the Premier League. Her son, Marcus Rashford, has made 133 and 38 appearances for Manchester United and England respectively.

In 2019, Rushford's net worth was estimated at about £65m by a British finance magazine, Spears. He signed a new contract in 2019 with Manchester United worth £200,000 per week. This would amount to about £10m annually- net bonuses and other earnings from commercials or endorsements.

REFLECTIONS
How many times do we hear people say that what doesn't kill you would make you stronger? Melanie started off as a single parent to five kids- all holed up in a small apartment. She doesn't need those £1 products anymore. She doesn't need the free school meals voucher to keep her family going. She strived hard enough to raise a son that every mum would be proud of. A good number of black kids end up in jails or lose their lives to drugs and cult-related activities at a young age. Melanie wouldn't allow this to happen to her children. She dug her foot on the ground and took responsibility for raising her children without using her condition as a single mother as an excuse.

I might not know what you are going through now as a single mother but be rest assured that just like Melanie, life will definitely put a big smile on your face. What you deserve is a reward worth more than double of what you have been through. Keep your eyes on the mark. Everything will make sense someday.

References:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/marcus-rashford-explains-how-man

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goal.com/en/amp/news/what-is-marcus-rashfords-net-worth-and-how-much-does-the-man-utd-
Wikipedia


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[b][/b]"My father told me that money is good but he said too that the love for money could lead one to a place where his fingers could be badly burned; I was warned never to take anything that does not belong to me. You can understand why I became very cautious when I found myself working in the cash management unit of a bank. I heard before joining the bank that staff in the good books of superiors don't get posted to this unit- it is a much-dreaded unit because of the inherent danger one is bound to be exposed to. It was a popular knowledge but a hidden secret in the office that my boss had me under lock and key in his bad books because a female teller in the branch that kept rejecting his advances was my close friend. So, my payback was the 'Uriah treatment'- which resulted in that movement to the danger zone."

I flashed a look at my wristwatch and urged Henry to continue. "In that era, the city was under siege by a gang of robbers terrorizing all inhabitants and snatching bullion vans like ballot boxes. I didn't sleep all through the night the day that I was served the deployment to the new unit. The first six months went well but I had my heart in my mouth all through the time the siren blasted across the network of branches."

Henry ran his fingers across the scar on his left cheek. It would have brought back memories but he went on. "In the seventh month, we got hit by the bad boys. The screams and the sounds of bullets ricocheting against the iron frames of the vehicles will dwell on my mind forever. By the time they were done with us, bodies were littered all over the place with blood splatter making some horrific works of art on the walls of the vehicles. I ended up in the hospital with a couple of survivors. On my resumption, after being discharged from the hospital, I was greeted with a query by my boss and my employer demanding an explanation on the acts of negligence that led to the loss of the cash on transit. I was so angry about the tone of the query- because I knew we lost some policemen and three employees that day. One of them happened to be a very intimate friend. We lost the driver of the bullion van too. His newly married wife was pregnant when this happened. There was no query on how she was going to survive without Dave and none on our close shave with death. While I was trying to settle down to work, a transfer memo came and it was to a remote town at the borders between Nigeria and a neighboring country. This news broke me, hook, line, and sinker."

Henry looked up and said, "This was how I found myself in a town where no one wanted to go. There was just one-way traffic to this town. The only way people could leave was either by sack or resignation; you never get transferred out. I decided to test the system and started making serious efforts to get transferred out of the town. I did this for four years without a result. It was revealed to me much later that my former boss had a hand in stifling my efforts to leave. One morning, I woke up and realized that I had all that I needed to make something out of my situation. I took the decision to find the inherent benefits of my adversity. From that moment, I became conscious of my environment. My eyes became open to economic opportunities in the community. Immediately, I started playing in the cash crop business; the cocoa and the palm sales were good business in the community."

He concluded by saying, "The moment I decided to stay behind and make something out of my situation, opportunities began to pour in. My business grew in leaps and bounds. At a point, I started exporting and the earnings were pouring-in in foreign currency. I fell in love with the daughter of a former military man and we got married. My wife brought more blessings as our family and business continued to expand. In my tenth year in that remote community -that was the rejected stone that became the cornerstone of my life- I was asked to return to the city and head the Cash Movement Unit- a city that I was booted from unceremoniously. Right there in my office, I threw in my resignation. It had become obvious that my new life was non-negotiable."

REFLECTION
Tough moments are always a blessing in disguise but you need to look hard enough to find the hidden benefits. Henry was focused on what was beyond his control. And those things within his control suffered for this reason. In life, you have to build up your time and resources and focus them on your area of strength that is well within your control. It is good to note that Henry didn't just become a success overnight- he had the seed in him all the while. It was his situation that brought out the greatness(success) hidden inside of him. Don't let your situation weigh you down and keep you there. Get up and awake the giant within.

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[b][/b]
The venue for the appointment was in his hotel room. Michael was already set. He said, "I used to think that it took me longer than the Israelites had to wait to move from Egypt to the promised land. I don't know about the people led by Moses but for me, I think the journey was worth it. Photography had always fascinated me as a kid but I was keen on doing something better as a means of livelihood. Photography was my passion but I thought that it was not going to offer me the life I had planned ahead of me. With this in mind, I went to the university to study Civil engineering but I graduated and spent several years searching for jobs. I strived hard enough to send my three children to school, though we managed to feed from hand to mouth. I struggled to make something bigger and more meaningful out of life but the harder I tried, the more difficult everything seemed.

He continued while gesticulating with a TV remote in hand. " I would run from pillar to post searching for a worthwhile life. Whatever I did or whichever way I went, life kept me underwhelmed. I knew I was not running at full cylinders. I was always late on rent. This resulted in unusual embarrassment from the landlords. I kept changing place of residence as if the house owners were the issues- but I knew that my issue with finance was the crux of the matter. Not that I cared much but I was worried that my peers were far ahead of me. And for this reason, I was not accorded the respect I deserved. Obviously, but unfairly, having enough riches comes with some level of power or influence. The car I managed to buy was more of a leaking jalopy than a mechanical canopy."

He kept talking. "My life was drifting away and I felt the pain as each day passed by. It came to a point that I simply gave up- it was on my 60th birthday. I knew that time had never been a friend of man. We waste away unapologetically. And there is nothing anybody could do about this. I was one of those that believed that the maxim that age was nothing but a number was a fluke. I keep asking myself, 'Why do businesses look for young people to work with and why do sportsmen retire or get released by their club sides or team at the twilight of their career?' Time happened on them. And I knew it had come for me too."

He would close the story by saying. "One late evening, as I was about to retire for the day, I saw a documentary on 'Photography' on a DSTV channel. There was this excitement that flashed through my heart. I knew exactly that a part of me had been yearning for photography. In spite of the fact that I neglected this over the years, the love never left me. I sold my jalopy, bought some cameras and other equipment. I went for an online course on photography while I sustained myself with the little I made on the street. I would end up becoming a big player in digital photography. Big multinationals and Nollywood paid for my services and I earned big. Today, though much older, I live in my own house and own a fleet of automobiles. My kids were all grown which accorded me all the time I needed to chase my dreams. To pay for the childhood I never gave them, we all went on a holiday to Barbados to chill out. Life finally proved me wrong. My age didn't matter anymore because I was living my dreams. What I could not achieve in the first 60 years of my life I did within four years post my 60th birthday"

REFLECTION
It is given that age places a limit on us but our purpose dwells in us until death. Our approaches could change but the purpose remains the same. It is always imperative to start with the end in mind. It can never be late to become what you might have been as long as the desire keeps burning in your heart and you are ready to push for it.

I have seen people marry at 60; I have seen people graduate at 70; I have seen people build their first house at 50; Janet Jackson had her first baby at 50; Roger Milla scored at 42 in a world cup; Isaak Hayik played as a goalkeeper for Israeli team Ironi Or Yehuda at 73, etc

History has records of people who defied nature and followed their dreams at old age. What we all need are the necessary drive and the follow-through. Olusegun Obasanjo, after becoming a two-time president of Nigeria was admitted by the National Open University of Nigeria in 2014 at 78 years. He went on to bag his Msc and finally his Ph.D. in Christian Theology in 2018 at 82 years. I know age has done numbers on you but you are closer to your dreams than where you were coming from.

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