₦airaland Forum

tosyne2much:
Hope I talk am well?

Yes, you nailed it. Happy Sunday.

tosyne2much:
Hahaha.. I have said something oooo

Seen

Tosyn2much is viewing. You must say something about this.

luminouz:
Will u please pay my school fees too?
Oponu!!!

Oga oo, the OP is stingy. 5 good years and he is here complaining.

Nice, I've learnt some things. Thank you

glogirl:
there is no mature way of handling it.
Really you have two options;
1. bear it.
2. divorce.

1.Bear it;

I walked in you shoes for 9 years. I discovered the situation barely 2 years into the marriage when i was pregnant. Begged, cried ,etc didnt make any difference. so i started investing and saving. still didnt cheat but got happiness from my child.
sometime in 2015 , i had a debilitating accident, lost my mobility for 3 months(bless God it was temporary). My family flew me to USA and the man went to town with his slut.
With my mortality starring me in the face, when i came back. I realised i was wasting my life. I meant little to him so why bother? I refused to live the lie.I wrote him a long letter and made him realise, that all these years, i have put in my best because i know one day my kids will ask me why i left, and before God and Man , i will have a clear conscience.
I also told him that i am leaving cos one of us has to stay alive to care for the kids, since he has chosen to die.

i had seen my death stare me in the face. I knew who needed me most...my kids. so it wasnt a tough decision anymore.
to save us both the embarassment, i applied for visa to canada, both the immigration and for my masters.
i already saved up enough to sustain me for some time.

He understood the finality in mind and when i suggested a counsellor, he agreed. we went for 3 sessions , 2 separate individual sessions and a joint session.
well, that lady helped me out tremendously. I dont know what she told him, but when he came out of his session, the first thing he said was ' I didnt know you saw things that way'.
that was the beginning of a new journey into the marriage after 9 careless years. i can see that he is trying to be better now, and i appreciate his efforts. I also heard out all his pain points, and i do try to work on them. Have i forgiven ? yes. Have I forgotten? No.
Do i still love him? i will never hurt him.
do i still trust him? i will never betray him.

i am hpyer focused on the essence and gift of life, and i do not take it for granted.


my advice to you;
1. stay sweet, baby girl. stay sweet. dont be bitter, dont be sad, forget what you feel, act the part.
0. Find time to pray together as a family, even if its once a week. saturday morrnings are fine. and when you share prayer points, let him pray for his family as the head of the home.
1. the bible says, ........neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them. under their feet, and turn again and rend you. right now, you must protect your heart from further hurt, so you don't get depressed.
2. you must protect your body from diseases, if you must do, use a condom. You must live and be healthy for your child. that should be your priority..
3.Never, I repeat never slack on your appearance, dressing and spirit.take back the power he has over your state of mind and find happiness in other things.
4. Find other sources of joy, and immerse yourself in it.
5. Love is an action word. Play that part to him, it must not be genuine. Just play the part. Hugs, kisses, TLC etc. Just try, you mustnt feel it to act it. that is where the fake lovers outside thrive.
6. save, work, save, invest , save. Money is power. Money is freedom.
7. If you are a professional, check out canada, it has a lot of options to explore.You can go under the guise of masters, and test run being on your own.
8. Explore all options to save your marriage. Dont ignore a bad marriage. Keep pushing for solutions, while you save money. try counsellors, engage him. talk, write, etc. Just keep engaging him on it but dont be antagonistic. try and be logical and factual about it.
so that you know you have given your best .... it is easy to feel guilty when you walk away even though you did nothing wrong in the union.
9. give yourself a timeline, if after all your effort there is no change, then you are prepared to move on in all good conscience.

God will give you the strength .

Wow!!
OP yield to glogirl advice.

Honestly divorce shouldn't be an option yet, even though I know it's painful

SAMBARRY:
I don't know but it seems lagosians are so accustomed and used to living and doing things in dirt THEY don't even have any sense of unpleasant smell or decorum for human sensibilities

Inside bus dirty and smelling with the smell of sweat ,on the streets filthy and smelling of sewage and thrash but they don't smell again.

Even churches and mosques are dirty in its environs,noise pollution.and every form of pollution you can think of,everywhere in Lagos,smoke from dingy buses,machines and human wastes and animal wastes on the street

They are use to it. No fresh air in 70% land mass in Lagos occupied by people.

This is cool. Congrats to her and more money to the guy's bank account.

Pray without ceasing
1 Thessalonians 5:17

Funny thing is, if a warri girl loves a guy for real she would go to any extend to make the guy happy. If you like as a guy dey abroad self just complain say you dey hungry, warri babe go run foodstuffs package send come give you. I don see many warri babes do am.

Papiikush:
Proposing or going to see her parents doesn't mean he will wife you. Don't be deceived.

Sure, I know that. Till they say "I do", It's a 50:50 thing.

She is not sure of you yet, Hence the prayer request. After all you've not proposed, even if you propose you've not gone to see her parents.

okonja:
Though I do watch Craze clown & Klintoncod skits there, but I just can't be advertising my life by posting pictures

I'm the lazy type when it comes to social media platforms, though it helps a lot depending on your motive, especially now that we are in the era of digital marketing/social media marketing.

okonja:
Announcing my arrival, I don't know why I naturally hate IG that I don't have an account there till now.

Even me too

VeeVeeMyLuv:
@ your profile pic! Indeed

Your signature cracked me up, so hilarious

ejerukeuzezi:
whats d code Pls... u no jxt dey answer anybody���

You quoted the wrong person. I actually need the code too as well. I'm using airtel, the network is very reliable but I don't get double when I sub.

Ammyluv2003:
Airtel 8.7gb for 2k

Code please.

Toks2008:
Any thread I create on romance has a deep message only few can understand.

Cool then.

Uncle Toks2008 has dropped another one.

I'm here to read comments.

Karma is always there to repay. Sometimes when things happens like this it's all for our own good. Though very painful, she should try and move on.

luminouz:
All over town where
Abeg gimme control naaaaa!!
I need 2!!

JULIE1925:



6months and got married? Who does that?


That's not possible sha...

Madam it happens.

stonemasonn:
Which tactics again, apart from sweet mouth, agbo jedijedi and monkey tail?

Yoruba demons
I can't wait to see this movie. I need to know more of their tactics.

MrEnigma007:
True about kiddies but I would rather say something replaced how they show superiority now. you oppress with "Money" now, no one's got time for night jingoism when your mates are driving their cars and their result looks neat without stressing their brains.

The issue of cultism went to the back burner because of that... remember, both vices helped to massage those with weak egos but one seems less dangerous.

You're right

pinkygurl:
Kudos then.While growing up only the name ekpoma was enough to make me start shivering
.

.

pinkygurl:
Omg!I didnt know this shit hole glorified secondary school in oleh @DELSU engineering faculty still existed.last time I checked NUC withdrew their partial accreditation and banned them from admitting students.
So sorry to hear about what befell the young man for being opinionted and vocal and standing for his rights and obstinately refusing to pay for refreshments for project defence multiple times and falling out of the good books of the corrupt hod and being witch hunted and targeted by him in a cold war thus failing andhaving a one year extension.
As a civilised human being you tried venting out to the publics all ways you can including social media.and they say you breached matriculation oath. I laff in swahili.These are the kind of things that encourage youths to resort to vices and cultism in our campuses.
Should this corrupt hod try this in ekpoma he would have joined his ancestors a long time ago.Which ekpoma student has tym to type his grieviances on social media and appeal to public?
I however beg you to keep your calm.n kip appealing to the right authorities concerned.including provost of the main abraka campus
We will help you keep reposting this story until justice is sought out for you in a civil manner.the media houses must get this.
P.s. Refreshment money for project defence in delsu engineering is sometimes requested by some departments.and students may or may not get refreshment.but this corrupt hod took this too far.
I WONDER WHERE DELSU OLEH CAMPUS sources for these corrupt hods we hear of from.
All corrupt charges of extorting money from students laid against him must be properly investigated.and if a lot of students cry out against him for being corrupt.I dont see why he should be left as hod..
.May the fate that befell akpoturi of petroleum department years back that saw him ousted from hod position and sacked from oleh engineering campus fall on this corrupt H..O.D also .
P.s. I will never forget the 700naira book akpoturi compelled all his students to buy to qualify to write exams.last last he couldnt supply to all and funds were not refunded.
This H.O.D has done worse than akpoturi and deserves to be ousted from the system of oleh engineering to keep it sane .How do you collect money for refreshment twice?

Sisi, I graduated from AAU Ekpoma some years back. Ekpoma is no longer Ekpoma, we now have too many kiddies in higher institutions that are afraid of doing things of old. Every one is trying to save his or her head and leave with that paper peacefully.

SouthSouth1914:
You want the dude to give bribe? Its strange how everyone has seen this bribery of a thing as a norm!! Nigeria is indeed a shithole

Nigeria is indeed a shit hole, I have been there before. I can never forget that day when i knelt before my HOD with hot tears pleading. Anyways I'm not here to share my story. But I'm still saying if his hands are clean he wouldn't have been expelled. At most he would have been given an extra year.

And I still have two friends who has been in this mess before, Micro biology department Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma.

They were not expelled. They were given an extra year and a fresh project topic, even after that the HOD refused to input the scores, only God knew what she needed. The other dude settled and collected his result, the other guy who's my close friend because he has no money as at that time kept pushing but he wasn't listened to.

At a point he sued the HOD to court, the case was so tough and years were counting but he was never expelled. Out of frustration he followed the route of Libya to Italy.
Now his testimony it was only God that saved him because he was one out of the only two survival. After few months that was when he was called and the HOD was expelled.

I'm not encouraging bribery but from my own ugly experience and that of some of my friends, if you have the money just give to them and save your head the troubles.

This is the country we find ourselves in.

Give what belong to Ceaser to Ceaser and give what belong to God to God.

It would have saved you this trouble.

Nevertheless I think if your hands were clean from 100l till final year you wouldn't have been expelled.

ekrizz:
Two Fighting

Ole one naira
Amala call police
Police separate them