₦airaland Forum

Feel some pity for poor Aaron, whose date tried to text a friend for help from the bathroom of a dull date - but ended up messaging her date instead

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/25/16/39B43FA500000578-3871302-Feel_some_pity_for_poor_Aaron_whose_date_tried_to_text_a_friend_-a-17_1477411023766.jpg

Accidentally texting your date rather than their friend is common theme

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/25/16/39B2DE4D00000578-3871302-Accidentally_texting_your_date_rather_than_their_friend_is_commo-a-15_1477411015064.jpg

When you didn't come to work because you were sick, but you were sipping pina coladas on the beach

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/25/16/39B2DE6300000578-3871302-If_there_s_anything_that_should_persuade_you_to_double_check_who-a-14_1477411010169.jpg

When you call your boss a fat a55 b1tch

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/25/16/39B2DE4100000578-3871302-Calling_your_boss_a_fat_a_bitch_seems_like_a_risky_move_for_some-a-13_1477411006108.jpg

We've all had that horrible moment of dread when you realise you've sent a text message or an email to the wrong person.

The worst occasions are when we don't even realise that we've made the mistake until the recipient brings it to our attention.

However, as these hilarious exchanges posted on Wrong Number Texts reveal, the outcome perhaps wasn't as bad as the situation these people found themselves in.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3871302/Hilarious-texts-happens-send-message-WRONG-person.html

What happens when you accidentally texted your father that you were planning on losing your virginity that night

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/10/25/16/39B2DE3D00000578-3871302-Can_you_imagine_what_your_father_would_say_if_you_accidentally_t-a-12_1477411001801.jpg

remi144:
korede bello son jazzy..... God I want to travel to the US even if I will not av job buh I want to travel to see how life looks like ova der I envy nairalanders sharing photos of dem in d STATES.

Guy relax, travelling to US /UK is not a big deal. Although life there is definitely better than Naija, but it is generally overrated. Just work hard and be diligent in whatever in you do, before you know it you will be able to travel to anywhere in the world.

Oh boy make I go start rice farming sharp sharp

https://d34elvfuwuckt2.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/21/2013/08/picture1.jpg_full_600.jpg

I can only say Thank God, and pray for safe return of the remaining girls.

The Corper is not a very smart guy

I'm proud to be a Lagosian, we welcome everyone without discrimination,
We celebrate with others when they are celebrating, we mourn with them when they are mourning
We even vote for non-indigenous candidates as long as they are loved and competent.
But our King still doesn't take sh!t from anyone, or else you'll die in the lagoon

Eko O ni baje o

Sam Allardyce has left his post as England manager by mutual agreement with the Football Association after one match and 67 days in charge.

It follows a newspaper investigation claiming he offered advice on how to "get around" rules on player transfers.

Allardyce, 61, is also alleged to have used his role to negotiate a deal worth £400,000 to represent a Far East firm.

An FA statement said Allardyce's conduct "was inappropriate" and Gareth Southgate will take temporary charge.

"He accepts he made a significant error of judgement and has apologised," the FA said.

"This is not a decision that was taken lightly but the FA's priority is to protect the wider interests of the game and maintain the highest standards of conduct in football.

"The manager of the England men's senior team is a position which must demonstrate strong leadership and show respect for the integrity of the game at all times."

Allardyce succeeded Roy Hodgson in July following England's disastrous performance at Euro 2016 in France and becomes the national side's shortest-serving full-time manager.

What did Allardyce do?

The Daily Telegraph said Allardyce met with undercover reporters posing as businessmen before he took charge of his first England training session.

During the meeting, which was recorded on camera, it is alleged Allardyce said it was "not a problem" to bypass rules on third-party player ownership and claimed he knew of agents who were "doing it all the time".

It was further alleged that a £400,000 deal was struck for him to represent the company to Far East investors and to be a keynote speaker at events.

In the meeting, Allardyce also referred to Hodgson as "Woy", making fun of his predecessor's manner of speaking, and criticised Gary Neville, one of Hodgson's assistants.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/37483344

Very informative post that one could learn from.

But for the last 6 years mods have been putting posts that have absolutely nothing to do with our lives such as pictures of celebs going to toilets or in the pool on the front page. Thank God someone remember this long forgotten post after 6 years.

If you think God has forgotten you or He's not picking your call, just like this post you will be remembered one day

The banks are part of the problem of this Nigerian economy. The role of a commercial bank is to accept deposits and provide loans for businesses, farmers and manufacturers to ensure economic and social stability and sustainable growth of the economy.

But the commercial banks in Nigeria only collect deposits and will rather lend money to politicians and big men rather than the SMEs.

As a former bank employee the management will put your a55 under fire and interrogate you like a murder suspect in police custody for bringing proposals from SMEs, but will pat you on the back if it was a politician or a well known rich man.

Until the CBN sets targets or do something drastic for the commercial banks to lend responsibly people that can boost the economy locally, nothing will change.

So Nigerians in diaspora came together to buy her a set of spanners

[img]http://cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/54194000.jpg[/img]

k

Very lovely pictures.

Well, prefab houses have been around for many years and were used in many countries damaged during the world war to provide emergency houses after the war.

They are now been used in many countries and in modern architectural design. But I don't think Nigeria is ready, as they need to be built complying with very strong building codes, which we don't have yet.

You can not but love this guy

I was lucky to be one of the last set of students to apply for Tier 1 PSW, and that gave me time to get a company willing to sponsor me.

I live in a city with 2 good and I've met a lot of Naija students over the years. Like the OP said most of them came with the intention of staying spending over £20,000 during their stay, but most of them had to leave immediately after graduation. I keep telling my friends in Nigeria, DO NOT come and waste your money for MSc in the UK IF your intention is to stay back, it just won't work. In UK you've got like 0.1% chance of staying back.

Please try countries like Canada, US and Australia

The NFF officials should bury their heads in shame. They could not pay the boys and now they want to highjack the money given to them by a foreign benefactor

Thank God the money wasn't given in cash to the NFF, that would have been the end of the story

No I refuse to yield to the temptation to check the name

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/4261552_700b_v1.jpg

But I just can't help myself

[img]http://images.memes.com/meme/1114299[/img]

Oh no It's Chukwu emeka omo olori pelebe

https://s2.quickmeme.com/img/e0/e0a9a3d82274827346dad8eea5339e6517244be9b44299fd6a5d5da2372e2a96.jpg

mukina2:
Cancity234 Zamzummim Nwikys U1 azpekuliar apoti iPopAlomo tboy1
etc etc etc

Mukina sorry I've been away. Please send me the code for elite all star and the FA cup. I am Invincibles 15/16

Nigeria's Olympic football squad are stuck in Atlanta because of a problem with the payment for a flight to Rio.

The delay means the men's team are expected to arrive in Brazil less than 36 hours before their opening match.

"The money paid by the [sports] ministry for the charter flight did not hit airline's account on Tuesday so they refused to fly the team to Brazil," a source close to the Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) said.

They play Japan at 0100 GMT on Friday.

The problems seem to have happened due to the money having to go through different bank accounts and currency conversions.

"It is a cumbersome exercise but they should have started the process much earlier, which NFF was pointing out. This issue has nothing to do with the NFF," the source explained to BBC Sport.

He added that everyone in the NFF was "disturbed" by the situation because Nigeria's first game against Japan in Manaus is so soon.

The BBC has spoken to several players in the party, who say they do not yet know when they will be travelling.

One of the players explained: "We've been told to get ready to fly out in few hours but that's been the story since last week."

Nigeria, who are in Group B of the Rio Games alongside Sweden, Colombia and Japan, boast a proud Olympic record.

In 1996, they became the first African and non-European or South American team to win the gold medal.

They also finished runners-up at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, where current under-23 coach Siasia also coached the 'Dream Team' in China.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36963812

Kingy10:
Adontbilibit
Sad indeed
Just toooooo Cheap

Yeah so sad considering the fact that Microsoft offered to buy them for $45 billion 8 years ago

Etfash:
I'm seeing the full meaning of Yahoo for the first time...

Me too. I never knew Yahoo was an acronym

US internet firm Yahoo is being acquired by American telecoms giant Verizon Communications for nearly $5bn (£3.8bn) in cash.

Yahoo will be combined with AOL, another faded internet star, which Verizon bought last year. The deal does not include Yahoo's valuable stake in Chinese firm Alibaba. The price tag for the deal is well below the $44bn Microsoft offered for Yahoo in 2008 or the $125bn it was worth during the dot.com boom. Verizon said the deal for Yahoo's core internet business, which has more than a billion active users a month, would make it a global mobile media company.

Marissa Mayer, chief executive of Yahoo, said: "Yahoo is a company that has changed the world, and will continue to do so through this combination with Verizon and AOL." In an email to staff, Ms Mayer said she was "planning to stay", adding: "I love Yahoo, and I believe in all of you. It's important to me to see Yahoo into its next chapter."

However, the takeover, which is due to be completed in early 2017, raises questions about whether the Yahoo brand could disappear. "That's the big open-ended question: what are they going to do with the brands?" said Michael Goodman, a director at Strategy Analytics.

AOL chief executive Tim Armstrong said the deal was about "unleashing Yahoo's full potential", and creating a major player in mobile media.
Together AOL and Yahoo will have more than 25 brands, including Yahoo Mail, Flickr and Tumblr as well as AOL's Huffington Post and Techcrunch news sites. Ms Mayer, who took the helm at Yahoo in 2012, has made little progress in returning the company to profit.
Last week the firm reported a $440m loss in the second quarter, but said the board had made "great progress on strategic alternatives".

Yahoo Timeline
-1994 Yahoo - which stands for Yet Another Hierarchically Organized Oracle - is founded
-2000 Yahoo valued at $125bn at height of dot.com boom
-2002 Google rejects a $3bn bid from Yahoo
-2008 Microsoft's $44.6bn offer for Yahoo is turned down
-2013 Blogging site Tumblr acquired by Yahoo for $1.1bn
-2015 Yahoo makes net loss of $4.4bn
-2016 Verizon agrees $4.8bn deal to buy Yahoo

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/3F98/production/_90508261_yahoologoflickr.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-36879831

cc: Lalasticlala

X

I hope the op is okay. He hasn't given an update since he bought the salt and collected distilled rain water and that was 3 days ago

dridowu:
The Central Crime Branch sleuths on Monday arrested a 37-year-old Nigerian and recovered narcotic drugs worth Rs 35.8 lakh.

The accused, Ejom Peter Nduka, and his associate Kevin were living in a rented house in Sampegehalli and used to peddle drugs to their contacts. The police recovered 621 grams of cocaine and 265 grams of hashish. They also recovered three mobile phones from the accused and are investigating to ascertain the source of drugs. “We are verifying whether the accused have valid travel documents,” a senior police officer said.

[size=15pt]The flat heads from the east and drugs are like[/size]

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3960032_20160502055749_jpegefacc41c86f87c65c0ee0d68d8973e20

[size=15pt]Therefore[/size]

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3961737_notsurprised_jpeg86fe94ce6ce453199099dc23910e9d69