₦airaland Forum

this is pretty decent stuff



neat

Omo Eko:
Wow good try coollove and faywwb are the same person, so quit playing game because u re showing stupidity .

is that true?
wont that be something



why would anyone wanna have multiple handles?

oge4real:
Woman=woe man.

lol
when you put things that way
guess i would remain single

Omo Eko:
Some thread doesn't worth replying to beco its useless.
Why are people reponding and wasting their time, this dude story is fakeeeeeee and all what he said were made up.

**Sniff Sniff** I can even smell his lies through my sidekick screen.


Eya u wished u bleeped her, lol. Abeg stop lying jare

my sentiments exactly

clemcykul:
hallo airblaze indeed ure really blazing away! thats funny man, u can see that the best lawyers are women.

lol

lol,

ENJOY THIS JOKE!



EXPLAIN IT TO THE GORILLA

A married couple at the Zoo walks past the gorilla enclosure.
Says the woman: "Mark, do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behaviour Look, seeing that no one is looking, l'll expose one of my breasts to it and see how Hot it gets just as men do".



Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free. "See - says the woman - "Now I know why you react the way you do, men can't control their animal insticts just like gorillas can't".


Says Mark: "Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens". The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is now desperately trying to escape from the enclosure. Says Mark: "This is incredible, now pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let us see what will happen"!!!


The woman pull her skirt up turns around with her bum to the gorilla which by now, extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts yanking the clothes off her.


The woman yells: "Mark, what do I do now? Please, help me"!!!
Mark replies: "Now give it one of the excuses that you usually give me:
* That you don't feel like it
* That you have a headache
* That you're tired
* That your throat is aching
* That it is still too early
* That I must understand you as a woman
* That you are depressed
* That you are in one of those days
* That you are having a very busy week
* That all you need is just to cuddle up
* That you're tensed up
* That you have to wake up very early tomorrow
* That you woke up very early today
* That you walked for long and your feet are aching
* That caresses and hugs is all that you want today
* That you're so tensed up that all you want is a good massage to make you relax
* That you feel like watching TV - That you don't wanna miss the soap
* That you're from the Hair salon and therefore you can't move and spoil your hair
Go on, explain all that to the gorilla and if it understands, if you can persuade it, then I promise you that from today on I'll accept your excuses"!

Have a good laugh!!!



Woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only £20."

> "Why is it so cheap?"asks the woman. "Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a

>brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity". "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her

>mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So, she buys the parrot and takes him home.

> Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman. "f*** me, a new brothel and a new madam".

> "I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel" scolds the woman trying not to laugh.

> A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

> "Un f**king-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

> "Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes" complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.

> A short while later, the woman's husband Steve comes home.

> "In f**king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients, How ya doin', Ibrahim ?"

Hello,
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and says, "I'll demonstrate it for you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with OBASANJO for a million NAIRA. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with RAMSEY NOAH for a million NAIRA. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million naira, would you sleep with obasanjo?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would." Then he goes to his sister's room and asks, "Sis, if someone gave you a million naira, would you sleep with RAMSEY NOAH?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are having two million NAIRA, but in reality, we are living with two prostitutes."

Just read down and you'll see why we have so many bachelors today





,







The Husband Store!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. , You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the
building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4, 363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!

Have a good day.

Thought 1

When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.

When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.

When we die, our widows get the life insurance.

What do women want to be liberated from?



Thought 2

The average man's life consists of:

Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,

Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end,

the mourners wondering too.



Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."



The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.

The man was astonished.



He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.

Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take

one more step a car will run you over, and you will die."



The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening

around the corner, barely missing him.



The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.



"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I

got married?"



Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride

as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her

father and placed some thing in his hand.



Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by bride.



The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.



So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.



Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."



The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom.

4real:
Goat i said maybe don't you know what maybe means. holy than thou shit.

kasaliyaro i am wholly impressed by this,



That writeup has made it worth my while joining this forum

wicked

shens2006:
i dislike anything fat

i feel this statement is characteristic of an insensitive person and i dont want to stir this beyond gist if not i would have looked for a more colourful adjective to describe you my good sir.


the perception to which you view people and your choice of words descriptively needs a little bit of fine tunning


i can also judge you from your comments by saying i dont like insensitive people but truth be told you probably arent too clueless

i have read some of your writeups and its actually good,

i speak in good faith

anon101:
i don't mind as long as he is very handsome

when guys smoke it actually turns me

anon101

i had to quote this because its really quite shallow.




to the thread.

i smoke regularly i drink occassionally, personally i dont think the fact that a person smokes or drinks defines the personality , agreed some people think the smell is pungent some of us absolutely crave for it.

i cant in anyway be described as skinny as a matter of fact i have leaning towards being plump''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''


and i simply admire big supple , women