₦airaland Forum

Monicasque: Ath honey, plz remember that there is a huge difference between a man and a boy and unfortunately there are so many married boys out there. It takes a lot to be a man

You'd be surprised

Monicasque: patience is a virtue and one should work on self discipline when married. People must understand that marriage is not all about sex and do all the dogging you wana do before entering the responsible union of marriage.

But men dont have variable drives the way women do. Most remain consistent. So they are likely to be keen on intimacy during pregnancy and even after child birth. 6 months might be a stretch for some... remember Rooney

Monicasque: then you gotta wait too sugar. Isn't she is also waiting? don't both of you equally have needs? why must she pay the price of giving birth to your child and you are not willing to do the same? isn't that child was created by both you yols? then you must both be ofsex not the other one wanting to cheat the process

Eloquently said... but some men cant wait

Monicasque: people who are in marriage should not deprive each other of each others bodies otherwise that will lead to disaster. That is why married people should by almeans always try to settle their differences before even thinking about cheating or wanking. Marriage is no walk in the park that is why one must be ready when entering in it. Marriage and relationships differ a lot and i really do not understand why one should even need to get sex else where or self-service whereas they are no longer on the market

What about when she is pregnant or breast feeding? That could equate to 6 months of no nookie

Ok folks

How freaky is "too freaky"?

Where do you draw the line in relationships, hookups and even marriage? At one point d oyou think.... this is some freaky sh@@

A while back I was on transit on a bus and met this slightly hippie girl. She was cute, nice and friendly so we chatted and exchanged numbers. After I got off I got a call from her asking if we should have a drink... she was going to x pub and wanted to know if I was interested in meeting up with her. I said why not, I was single and had a lot of free time. We met and ordered a bottle of chardonnay at the bar. Within 30 mins she was all over me. I was slightly taken aback but it got worse... way worse . She wanted us to head to the toilets but I declined so we went to her place. Needless to say, I got out before things got too heavy. I forgot my jacket there and never went back for it

Things were a little to freaky for me and I had to draw a line (just barely). So where do you draw the line

chikeorji123: Just add another fans to ur list! l love this..

Cheers. Hard truths of course.

makelove2m: Marry her if u are not married yet, with this , you have solved the problem, this is poverty in action, save this girl by marrying her or ask her to report the abuse to warefare/police station nearest to you, don't do it your self

How is marrying a solution? What if she doesnt want to marry him? You dont marry someone because they have no where to stay

ledafaze: Really... It was as if I was out of Nigeria for that period... People calling in giving their profiles...

Hello... My name is Funke... a university graduate... down to earth... 27 years... light in complexion.... i like reading and eating... i work with so so so firm... I am looking for a man that comes from south west, dark in complexion, AA genotype, a university graduate, God fearing (as if satan himself is not God fearing), works, daring, loving, respectable and will love me for whom I am... My numbers are 080idjdfjfnfjf, and 080iedbfhff... i repeat... my numbers are 080djdbdjff and 081idjd....


U just need to listen to the program mhen... and see seriousness

This is some mo-fo sh@@... We are now in the digital age .

SniperInADiaper: ^^^ that is sexy

Is that how you are

mysticgal: ^^^i tell ya

What about you too.... is that how you roll

Mr knowitall.:
yep...i meant it....

Good.... good

Chino_anyi: dis s actually d problem, if her parents cud treat her dat bad wat about u, am just scared of being brutalize self

In my case she can always report to people like relatives who can constantly keep an eye on her. I had no intention of getting involved to that level but I would have had to if it got too bad.

ledafaze: Now let me give you a good advice... You have a good phone with radio? make it a date with Ego on Inspiration FM every Tuesday and Wednesday night... (starts at around 9:00PM)... There, people like you (guys and girls) call in giving their profiles for other partner for a hook up... So... in as much as you dont have money for a premium badoo signup or scared of scammers, try that... I am sure it will work for you my guy...

I started listening to the program this week and it was stunning when a guy called saying ladies should stop calling him that he's got a perfect match on same radio show... I was wowed.. So... load up some call credit, charge your phone, get a pen n paper and book a date with MatchMaking on Inspiration FM (92.3) Lagos...

Radio dating...

Have things gotten that bad?

obi2012: A lot of people typically let themselves go after they get married.. They don't feel they need to bother about their physical appearance anymore. It's definitely a responsibility of both partners to remain in good shape and remain attractive for their partner. I've met nigerian women that had maybe one kid 4 years ago and they are horribly overweight, they'll tell you I am a mother o, that's why I look like this.. Not an excuse. I have also met guys that were 27 with pot bellies that look like they were carrying twins. The guys typically say they are men.. They want skinny shapely wives but they are not in shape themselves. Both parties are responsible for looking their best. Stop with the 10pm 5000 calories of pounded yam before bed

For men it is even worse. But they still get women running after them so they dont care about looks.

Handsomeemmy: Atheist , so you turn the guy to phone repairer?

I'm innocent

Just a suggestion

Monicasque: poster no offence. These boobs have stretch marks and her mouth looks hungry , so why did you invade this lady's privacy like this and come post her not so hot pic on this forum? was it compliments you were looking for or criticism?

Lol. Take it easy on the poor babe.

He probably stole it from her phone while unlocking it for a fee

Ms_Steph: There is a common thing with men u will be with dem suffering when dey don't have money but when dat money comes he attitude will change

men are not angels either. Or when the lady ages or adds weight. It is the equivalent of ladies dumping their men when they are broke. These things are unacceptable.

Monicasque: that is why i said the situation would need evaluation first. Divorce is not easy especially if both ppl really love each other but i still repeat '' taking advantage is also not nice''

Yeah. Taking advantage isnt. That is the real decision to make.

Monicasque: do you remember the saying that behind every succesful man there is a very succesful or strong woman? well that is the answer to the question you have asked me. Divorce is not easy and needs deep thought first. I would need to evaluate the reason for the lack of drive and try help him get back to his good self. Sometimes he might be going through depression because of this and that thus loose the drive and i would really need to step in and help my man but if the loss of drive is unreasonable i do not want to lie, i would lv him. Why must i entertain someone who has lost the mojo for no reason? some other people are really not worth the energy especialy coz i have seen other men get so lazy just because they know that maybe the wife is an ambitous person who would not allow the family to go down in that case i would feel used and i would go coz i would also not want my baby to hastle alone and me i am just sitting there waiting for his money. We must help each other and not take advantage

Ok. In sickness and in health. If he was a low life, partying and clubbing and grabbing other girls etc while being broke etc aI can understand. If he had lost his mojo and was struggling to pick up the pace then you cold attribute it to a general loss in will. This could be a type of depression. Depression can last for years and is hard to spot.

Monicasque: Hey Ath. M back but will be gone in a few minutes again. Just stole 2 minutes for NL. Well i agree with your view. Ofcourse its not nice to meet a person with a certain type of body and weight which led you to be attracted to this spouse next thing the person changes drastically but we must remember that childbirth contributes a lot on women's weight gain. I would think it would be rude for the husband to all of a sudden loose interest on his wife and starts cheating without discussing it with her. I know how man normaly would go around doign wrong all in the name of wife being over weight but dude remember those vows you said when you married her. Why not try help her to be her old better and healthy self. Again we also need to remember that there are some ladies who still look hooooot even when they have gained some weight and we also need to remember that there are some ladies wh do not look attractive at all even when lepa

Hi babes,

Good to see you back. I agree. There are many reasons for undue weight... including age. Men must factor this into their thinking. A woman cannot be nubile forever... it is a fallacy.

Monicasque: when i choose a man , i look at image and personality first of all. Money has never been a matter to me when choosing a guy coz all i want is his love. If i want money i will go to work. He must have good potential and be able to support himself. I do not like guys who are a burden. If we wana do stuff like go to the movies etc i would rather we go 50 / 50. Should i get married i would still expect him to be able to take care of himself and understand that he and i still go 50/50 for our family financial needs. If he gets broke here and there i will be there for him just like i will expect him to be there for me if things go wrong for me but if he all of a sudden changes and shows no interest at all of trying to pick himself up, maybe always expecting to recieve instead of trying i would lv him because i have always hated being a burden and hate people who are burdens

Sure, that sounds reasonable. There are many factors that influence people, downtime etc. A critical factor is drive and if the drive is no longer there then that is a real disaster I admit. How would a guy pick himself up with no drive?

However, what would you do if he was down and had no drive... divorce him?

lyfe: Real ladies have spoken and enough has been said. However, I feel it should not be a must, though important and vital. So, guys work harder get your hustle on and make this money. Ladies are rubies and pearls so nothing bad spending on them to show they are appreciated.

Sure, sure... I agree. Somehow most of our money goes on them regardless. It is really about who, what and why as opposed to just spending.

I met a rich guy who had a wife he adored and spent a fortune on but he had a rep among girls in the area as stingy because he never had girl friends etc. He was committed. They were beefing him with the statement that he only spends on his wife, that he should distribute his wealth

Sissie: Atheist!
True I sort of agree with you.

I am agreeable... eventally

An interesting topic...

Any wife who adds undue weight will be under serious pressure to hold her man with all those hot, young, nubile girls out there

I believe however that a husband must stand by his wife. if she wants to lose weight then support her. If not then try and encourage her to be fit and healthy for health reasons. Other than that it is a marriage with vows. In sickness and in health

Sissie: Atheist! Your reply was so long LOL, now that you've explained better I understand, before u sounded like, it's spend your money, I spend mine.

There is no such thing as hers and his in a marriage. In a marriage everything should be jointly shared. But then again, that has been a recipe to many a disastrous divorce by an over zealous wife

Sissie: It's true women now turn their boyfriends to their provider, this is something I personally wouldn't do or advocate, a lady needs her respect.

But it is not just that. many women now (especially in places like Nigeria) are using finances as a sole determinant. They have multiple men and are constantly using the financial analysis to determine their next hubby. This is fuelling a deeper marital crisis. This crisis however is a larger and more difficult crisis to solve so I wont blame women alone. Men and the goverment play a pivotal role.

Sissie: But at the same time, we shouldnt make it look like its a big deal.
It's not compulsory to spend on your girlfriend and isn't your duty, it's to your wife.
But then whatever works for you.

it is not a big deal to spend on a woman. It is also silly and wasteful to spend on a woman for no other reason than to appease her. It is technically an investment. I spend on her because I love her and see her as a future wife to be. If I find out she has 3 other sugar daddy types who out earn me and she is measuring up which out of the 4, or 8, or God knows how many of us can provide the best for her then is there really any reason to get into such a bidding war? How many men are known to be stinkingly rich but dump their kids in dubious schools while spendig all there money chasing young girls. Their wives struggle and constantly go through headache.

Sissie: It's not compulsory to spend on your girlfriend and isn't your duty, it's to your wife.

Exactly, so no gf should ever demand spending like it is a duty... some even promise marriage to get financial support and then break it off once they have what they want.

Lordave: He should dig a hole size of his dc!k and Bleep. earth.

A form of wa.nking

Sissie: Atheist! Do you do certain things for your girlfriend because you expect something in return or you just do it for being nice or you think she deserves it, because she must do certain things to please you too?
It's not a give give give or take take take situation,
You give and you take.
If you have a problem spending on your girlfriend, I don't mean too much but just moderate or a little, personally I think your either stingy/selfish, broke or don't think she's worth your kobo, simple

Lol. So that is how you roll babes... cool

When it comes to spending I could give my last kidney to a lady I love. This spending thing however is over played by women. When was it a mans "duty" to spend and provide? Oh yes, an ancient tradition, as is a woman being a housewife, staying in the house and taking care of the kids. When did a man have to spend a fortune dating a woman? In the old times things were different. You paid your bride price and she was yours. You didnt even need to speak to her. So when did things change? We are living in a modern world but quoting some ancient traditions and some modern. It doesnt work. When a man spends a fortune and he gets burned by a gal who eats him raw only to then change her mind on marriage (as will often happen) the man has to assess if these things are right.

Taking care of a gal is not a mans duty, there are other duties. A mans duty is to his wife. His girlfriend is give or take. If a woman's interest in a man is for financial support; then she has some serious considerations to make in life.

This also doesnt work in the modern world. Take a look at many Western countries where womens earnings are nearly on par with men. How many women can be housewives? How many can also rely on meeting a man with 2-3 times their earning potential? So it doesnt work. It has to be collaborative and in that situation the woman and man can and should both spend on things they value important to the relationship/marriage in a joint collaborative effort.

What about Nigeria? What are the statistics for people earning more than a reasonable sum to live and slowly build a life? What are their earnings over life? Many people have really good earnings over a short period and then go through periods of downtime (unemployment, economic busts, change of government reducing business opportunities)? How would a solid, capable financial life be built into this sort of chaos?

Finally, what are earnings per age? What is the average earnings for a 20-25 yr old? 25-30 yr old? 30-35 yr old etc... Add it all up and it will become obvious that those with the best earning potential are those of a slightly older age. They are more likely to be married . They are also less likely to do more than... err... slaughter any girl that shows interest after spending.

There is a lot to think about. But in reality these things are more complex than spend... spend... spend . Sure he will spend, but to what end? To get the punny and be off.

mimiejacobz: [Therez no way u can b in a rltnshP and dnt lie dts y I said a bit of it is nt bad

yes you can. You can avoid lying if you want to. Lying is dishonesty

mimiejacobz: No,a bit of lie is healthy but not when it getS too much but when u Are caught admit to it

smh

lying and cheating are the cause of a lot of headache in relationships. The two go hand in hand.

demelza: Anyway the jerk told me he hates sex..

And you bought it

Wow

Women have clear advantages over men in some areas and men have clear advantages over women in other areas. The world needs to balance this out.

Take for instance employment and earnings, women are at a clear disadvantage in most countries over this. That starts a real divide for both.

monapeniel: Most males fail to take note of little things which most times is the catalyst of relationships.. Its not all about the damn money!

I wish you were right

Most women say that. I assure any deluded young gentleman to know that most women would take money over attention anyday. Go and ask all those sugar daddies bonking all the young babes while their male age mates are going without punny. What do the ladies say... na attention I go chop?

Classic

Husband was inappropriate, wrong and should not be working for that company. As long as the wife was not being unfairly victimised, the husband has to stay out of it.