₦airaland Forum

hopefullandlurd:
Hail Marinara
.
Hail Marinara,
.
Full of Spice,
.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is filled with thee.
.
Tasty art thou amongst sauces,
.
and blessed is the fruit
.
of thy jar, tomatoes
.
(although fools believe they are vegetables)
.
Holy Marinara,
.
Chief Amongst Toppings,
.
Save a plate for us now,
.
and at about 6 o’clock when dinner is served, if you would be so kind.
.
RAmen.

Oh my FSM! Bro,I said this prayer 20 times at intervals of 5mins and guess what? A wind blew and my sweat disappeared! I'm speechless!
Praise the Ramen!

hopefullandlurd:
yeah, they're angry at FSM

probably because they are went through disappointments and then started wishing him away

you can see from their replies that they're angry at him

why are they here? to debate something that doesn't exist?

but there's nothing they can do, he exists whether they believe it or not

their lack of belief doesn't change anything

Yeah on last day we don't get to boil eternally in giant vats of spicy hot sauce.It's their lot. I really hope it gets in their eyes alot.Since they refuse to acknowledge FSMs influence on everyday life. Ridiculous unbelievers.

4everGod1:
Who did you hear or see who talks about FSM besides you guys...For the rest of the world especially the Italians Spaghetti is food and hey an italian restaurant may just begin a new menu...FLYING SPAGHETTI BOLONAISE.

Now that is just a little evidence that shows that there are pastafarians all over the world.Your denial won't change a thing.

Pastafarians do not practice such rituals as ur people do.
Oh,And why do you talk so much about FSM if u think he doesn't exist?
You know he exists.
Stop denying him.
Just open ur heart and accept him.
He loves you.

4everGod1:
Buffoon I eat your FSM. The last time I did was with catfish sauce... The fish made my day...

Don't be a dummy, unbeliever.A long time ago I ate ur Jesus Christ's crummy wafer flesh and drank his bland winey blood which by the way tastes like shite.
Why?After all the hype on it's completeness.
It was nothing compared to the satisfaction FSM gives .

4everGod1:
More like you boil him for 3 to 5mins and toss in sone tomatoes and any other thing that spices it up to make it delicious. Apparently the Spaghetti monster isnt tasty when eaten all by itself plus it shrivels and becomes soggy under intense heat from the boiling water. lmao

Ignoramus.We don't really eat him.It's just a metaphor.Y'know...like ur weird communion.
Ours is more rameny and full of sauce...and quite filling!

Smallville10:
hahahahahahaha. See dis one... Then u have not tasted yoruba party rice...

YPR is a filthy unramen deity!Deceiving humans for ages! FSM is the one true saviour for your taste bud! Repent ye sinner! Unshackle your self from the evil indulgence of YPR!

NL mods getting crazier by the day.Seriously,how is this FP worthy?
Where's the relevance in this?
Why not rename this site Kenyaland.com.
Rubbish.

Useless backward country with useless backward culture.
Useless tribalist commenters.

Of course grant him bail.Because he's a"big man".
If it was an average man SUSPECTED of financial crime,that's his end.

Offshore or not.This discovery won't help matters.The useless cretins we have as leaders will go back to make the same mistake the has put is in this current mess.
Diversification my ar§e.
Na only for mouth and paper dem dey diversify.


U guys getting into e-fights on whether its Nigerian or Bayelsa oil. Are you ok at all? What will the location of the oil do for you or this rotten country? "The ogas at the top" will milk the nation dry and fatten their pockets and all you'll ever do is get in tribal and regional fights.Who will this help?What will it change?
Why are there so many brainless cows in this country?

shadeyinka:
[size=18pt]I see so much ignorance of the Bible displayed in the posts above![/size]

Are you a Student of the University of Heaven?

Becoming a student of any tertiary institution consists of 4 basic steps.

1. You must be Qualified:
Every institution has its own minimum entry qualifying criteria.
In Nigerian Universities, 5 O'Level Credits in relevant subjects, JAMB Scores and Post UME examination results.

It is impossible for a primary school graduate for instance becoming an undergraduate student of any tertiary institution in Nigeria.

2. You Must Apply:
No matter how brilliant you are, if you did not apply to ABU or UNILORIN, it would be impossible for your name to come out for matriculation in those institution.

Application is a Must!

3. You must Sign the Matriculation Oath:
The matriculation oath is a promise by every prospective student MUST make before being issued a Matriculation Number.

The oath consists of a statement like:
I shadeyinka promise to abide by all the rules and regulations of this institution.....
Sign.

4. You must Receive a Matriculation Number:.
Your matriculation number is the evidence issued only by the VC that you are indeed NOW a student of that particular institution.

Till you graduate, your matric number is your SEAL!

Note: Some things that do not confer automatic studentship
- You are a son of a professor
- You were born on campus
- You lived all your life on campus

BECOMING A STUDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY OF HEAVEN IS EXACTLY THE SAME!

This is what is called Born Again!

There are four basic steps:

1. You must be Qualified:.
Unfortunately, not one single human being qualify



This would have meant that no human being is qualified for redemption except that God so much love us humans that He prepared a sacrifice that waivered our un-qualification.



This exception is the law of Exchange; Its the Law of the scapegoat; the saint/innocent paying the price of iniquity of the sinner.

Lev16:1-26

Through this sacrifice, because we believe, we come boldly to the throne of grace by Faith in what God Has done for us: the perfect sacrifice.

He who believes in Gods solution is then made qualified. On that platform of Christ's Sacrifice we come to the Father!

2. We Must Apply:
What is the application?
-Write my Name in the Book of Life!
- Put Your Holy Spirit in me!
- Make me a New Person!

The three means basically the same thing. In lay mans terms: "Save me oh Lord, I don't want to go to hell".



This would have meant that no human being is qualified for redemption except that God so much love us humans that He prepared a sacrifice that waivered our un-qualification.



The exception is the law of Exchange; Its the Law of the scapegoat; the saint paying the price of iniquity of the sinner.

Through that, we come boldly to the throne of grace by Faith in what God Has done for us: the perfect sacrifice.

He who believes in Gods solution is then made qualified. On that platform of Christ's Sacrifice we come to the Father!




So, how do we apply?



We use our mouth to ask for salvation!

3. We Sign the Matriculation Oath:
Since there is a guarantee of receiving because we believe in Gods solution; His sacrifice, we append our signature (affirmation and promise) to live by the rules of the University of Heaven.
-avoid sin (a life of purity)
-serve the Lord in Love
-Love others as yourselves etc

Number 2 and 3 is what the church fathers call:
Accepting Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

No 2= Accepting Jesus as Saviour
No 3= Accepting Jesus as Lord.

4. You receive the Matriculation Number:
The Father in heaven receives your application and judges your heart.

Do you sincerely mean what you ask? Do you sincerely want to live by the rules of heaven?

If that is true, the Father then issues out the Matric Number: The Holy Spirit.

Hence forth, the Holy Spirit lives in union with your spirit. This qualifies you to be a child of God. The Holy Spirit is your seal (mark of ownership of God) until the day of your graduation (redemption)!



[size=18pt]Henceforth, you are expected to start working on your spiritual CGPA.[/size]

We shall discuss Next week,
"How to improve your Spiritual CGPA".

Questions will be answered by "all the bona fide students of the university of heaven on Naira land".

Stay Blessed.


Now, if you are not Born Again or you have assumed that you are Born Again and you want to make it right with God, why not pray this prayer with your mouth sincerely to God and your name shall be written in the Book of life.

My Lord and my God
I know that I am a sinner and therefore not qualified for heaven
I know and believe that you provided the sacrifice and atonement for my sins by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, please
Write my Name in the Book of Life
Seal me with Your Holy Spirit
Turn me into a New Creature

From today,
I will start living my life to please You and Glorify You. Help me to overcome the power of sin in my life.

Thank you for hearing me.
Thank you for sealing me with your Holy Spirit.

In Jesus Name.

Now, if you sincerely prayed that prayer, because God is Faithful and Just, He will write your name in the book of life.

You might feel very light or very joyful within or even cry your eyes out. Some may even at this point begin to speak in tongues or manifest other gifts of the spirit.

But the ultimate is that the Holy Spirit who now lives in you will confirm within you that you now Belong to God.



Welcome to the Family of God!

Now I don't have to read this to know that this is the worst"university" ever.
All it's graduands are dumb.

Lol. This has been here since 10:31 AM.It's 4:45 PM now.
We're still on"page 0"
No riotous row.
Whatever happened to the Bible thumping Calvary?

Pidggin:
This is not the point. The point is they are aware of the supernatural unlike you athiests who prefer to live in denial.

SMH. See evasive tactic.

Oh look. Its not IN Nigeria.
Progressive things like this never happen In Nigeria.
Brain drain haff finis us.

GRIMMJOE:
You really tried answering that ebuka guy(Master of twisting english)
It is still this same 4everg0d that told me to protest for cannibalism,and twins killing to be brought back, scene I don't believed in the Story the Bible tells

Yeah.I wish I didn't waste so much time.
They've inexplicably disappeared sha.

raphieMontella:
because they are not morally objective which they claim...
Objective morality from religion is false..
Morality is heavily dependent on the society(social species)...
And on the communism...
Atheism was not an animus..it was just a requisite for joining the communist party...just as being a christian is a requisite for joining the KKK(A Racist organization) and other christian extremists sects....
Thats all...
The communist ideology is similar to devaluation of the naira...their goal was something else not making people irreligious..
and definitely not because atheists have no moral compass...

Lol. That"Y" was a mistake .
Thanks for answering though.

raphieMontella:
they have been declaring those wars as a result of their christianity
These are wars done using christianity as thier ideology
www.nairaland.com/3355430/evil-nature-christian-god-genocidal#49525666

These are democides done using christianity as the ideology..
www.nairaland.com/3355430/evil-nature-christian-god-genocidal#49525544

check out the million of lives killed...way bigger than what they claimed the communists did...
The lists sef are not complete..there are some new ones i found amounting to tens of millions which i didnt add in those posts...
Those killings are done for christianity alone,,didnt add islamic wars etc

You shouldn't have bothered with all the links dude. I already know. Can't even believe that I d been arguing with a dunderheaded type about communism.

4everGod:
Audray who was Karl Marx and what were his beliefs? I think a crash course in political science would help you here....Waiting for your answer pls..

Dude just stop.Already made the mistake of engaging you.You twist up everything I say. I now give up.
You win.god exists.objective morality rocks,atheists are Cray Cray,Karl Marx was evil.etc etc.blah blah blabidy blah.
Now.Can I get on with my life?

4everGod:
So if the ideology of Marxism is Atheism so how come you say Atheism is the tool when clearly from your own comment Marxism exists because of Atheism.

Stop clutching at straws.

Marxism does not exist cos of atheism! Goodness.
I give up.

KingEbukasBlog:
The Inquisition battled heresy and even killed good Christians and ostensible Christians . Their actions were incongruous with the teachings of Christ . From objective morality , we can say that the Catholics were wrong to kill heretics - they exhibited acts of violence , coercion , even hypocrisy .

See? The same can be said for the communist murders. So only with objective morality can you decide that it was wrong?.Even a six yr old who hasn't heard of god would know that killing people that way is wrong.

HardMirror:
Exactly.

By the way, what a stupid thread.

Ikr.

KingEbukasBlog:
Please read this

https://www.nairaland.com/3286519/communist-leaders-killed-millions-because

Then we can continue this argument there .

Plus I wasn't talking about their goal , all I'm saying is that atheism is the animus that to killings . Marx's unbelief in God instigated the ideology and was used to justify their actions - subjective morality

Really now the goals that were killed for don't matter.
Well
The Inquisition 's belief in Catholicism instigated the ideology that was used to kill thousands of Moslems,Jews and protestants.-Objective morality.

4everGod:
Atheism was never the tool. Leadership was the tool. Atheism was already their ideology before Leadership. They only needed Leadership to enforce it and magnify it.

Stop lying and trying to defend the indefensible.

Will you say Seun is using Atheism as a tool or Nairaland as a tool?

Which came first Seuns Atheism or the creation of Nairaland?

What are you saying.The Ideology of Marxists is Atheism.
I might as well burn every political science text I come across.
Wow.

4everGod:
Is there a new definition for psychopathy?

if u call such a psychopath why then was their primary objective the strangulation of religion in their countries with laws which were clear on the punishment for religious practices...Breaking of which were punishable by death...perhaps you need to explain to yourself first how come all Marxistsand communists who committed acts of DEMOCIDE all had Atheism in common and also all despised religion and raised specific laws against it even when there were more pressing issues to tackle in their nations.

pls educate me.

Dude. Marxists used atheism the same way
The Spanish inquisition used Catholicism to enforce their so called religious orthodoxy.

KingEbukasBlog:
That was God's law to the Israelites years ago . It does not apply to us Christians . Anyone who attempts to justify any such act with that bible text is a deceiver and obviously its a pretext .

SMH.Leviticus is part of OT.Why do xtians still hate gay people?

4everGod:
Question....can you separate Atheism from Marxism or can you be a Marxist without being an Atheist?

This is your million dollar question right here

What part of Atheism was used as tool don't you get?

KingEbukasBlog:
I'm even tired of it sef .

The fact is that atheists have no moral compass , they believe that in reality , there is no good or evil . What you see as good , another sees as bad , only the source of morality - God- can say who's morally right or wrong .

What you've just defined is a psychopath.Something that I am not. I definitely have a moral compass.I definitely feel things. From ur logic.If god is the only source of morality,then you've got no moral compass either.Lets say xtians declare a holy war on moslems for the sole fact that they don't worship the xtian god. You as a human would personally think that that's wrong.But would you still go ahead to kill moslems because only god can decide what's wrong and right ? Tell me.Maybe there's something I don't get.

KingEbukasBlog:
Are kidding me ? Do you know what an atheist state means ?

Atheist states are intolerant of religious practices and religious beliefs . According to Marxism , atheism has to be imposed to achieve the goals of the ideology - that involves killing , incarcerating religious people .

Please read click on those links dear . I don't have time to go over well known facts .

According to Marxism.See?
They merely used atheism as a means to an end.A tool.
Their headache was to create an equal society using whatever means including atheism.All that killing wasn't to convince people that there was a god or not.That's more of a crusade/jihad thing. The communists killed solely for economic and political reasons using atheism as a TOOL.

KingEbukasBlog:
You keep contradicting yourself this babe



From what you said , we can see that they saw murdering anyone who opposes their sick ideology as the right thing to do . To them , killing the contumacious ones was morally justified because they believed religious beliefs stymie human development and the actualization of their socialist paradise .

Dude.You're just repeating everything.