₦airaland Forum

Thanks for ur advice everyone. I have decided to just cut ties with him cos i' cant handle feeling like this and i'm not sure if can risk my pride to let him know how i feel,

Negro_Ntns:
Are you sure the chemistry was strong, or was that just thrown in there for effects? It could not have been a strong chemistry and you slept in same bed many times and never explored each other. That's the first clue that the attraction was one sided or wasn't there at all, assuming that the second part of your narrative was correct.

Chemistry does not have to be sexual! Ever heard of just having a connection with someone without sex?
Also, he recently told me that he cannot handle rejection so he doesn't (like majority of you men), start disturbing women in the nite just cos he's sharing the same bed with her. Its very refreshing to know that all men are not controlled by their d*cks!


and to the rest of you questioning why the sex has only happened twice in 4 yrs; i thot i made it clear that he is not my boyfriend and we have been/are still just friends. pls if u guys dont have anything to say, no be by force to post!

davidylan:
can somebody say booty call?

it aint that yet but thats exactly what i dont want it to become, in the four yrs we have been friends, we have only done twice, last yr and last week! how is that a booty call?

KarmaMod:
First off you need to stop getting "intimate" if you want him to see you in a light where you are actually worth dating.

Before anything else, is this dude still with this "current girlfriend"

I agree and I will, like i said to David, it isnt a regular thing yet, he doesnt have a girlfriend per se, he just has 2 girls he is 'seeing' at the mo' not exclusively, i dont want to become number 3

chika98:
He's just not that into you. Unless you want to be his jump off

No i don't

okay, Aunty Mary here with a slight dilemma, i'll try to keep it short, very ironic that I'm in this dilemma as I am the one always telling girls 'if a guy likes you, you will definately know, if you are not sure, then he's probably not sure too and if you don't think he does, he probably does not!'


Anyway,I've known him for 4 yrs. He walked up to me at a bar and we hit it off immediately, there was and still is a very strong chemistry between us, since then we have been 'friends'.He lives in Nig and I in London but he comes to london at least 1ce every 2 months.

Last yr, we got intimate (we were both intoxicated - pls note that having been friends for over 3 yrs, we had shared the same bed many times but nothing happened, not even small 'tapping current'!). It was FANTASTIC . However, when I woke up in the morning and realised what we had done, I quietly grabbed my stuff and tip-toed out of his house and went home (he was still sleeping, I was confused), he called when he woke up but I didnt answer (he only called ONCE!wicked boy!). In the evening I texted him to apologise for leaving like that, then i went to a bar with some friends and met one of his friends there, who then went and told him he saw me with some guys that nite, anyway, he didnt call or text again , according to him, he was upset (i think that is bullshit though)

I initiated contact after some months and we're back as friends, hanging out, dining, gisting etc etc, he's always been very 'closed'(although we have always had a rapport, he never really opened up to me in the past), now, he talks to me about deeper things, his fears, his family, childhood and even his current women! i listen with rapt attention and never judge him or raise an eyebrow, so now, he's very comfortable with me and can tell me anything

thing is, i have always had a soft spot for him and still do, so , he knows i like him although i have never explicitly told him so, he knows from my actions, now, its really getting to me cos i want more, its hard for me to figure out if he does cos that means me asking him point blank as i'm afraid he now sees me as just a good friend, i don't want to scare him back into his shell by voicing out my feelings to him as he recently told me he trusts me and is very comfortable being in my presence which is not usual for him, BUT I NEED TO KNOW!

How can I find out without scaring him off and jeopardizing our friendship? we recently got intimate again and i dont want it to turn to a habit cos I dont want to be any man's plaything!


PS: Sorry, I know I said I will keep it short but wanted to give u guys as much background as I cud (although there's still alot of stuff I have left out)

hahahahaaa


why dont you tell her about rev. e d's sermon?

hmmmnnnn, i'll be back with my response!

Missy B:
You can only notice that if you spend as much time as I do . . . So?
C'mon buzz him . . . It's unladylike to keep a gentleman waiting.

actually, for someone who registered in the middle of the year, you have alot of post counts, so, no, i am not like u, i have a LIFE thats not built around NL!

Missy B:
Fergin Mary Aunty Mary needs it more babe.

Jobless missy; u no get work? u seem to live on NL

bravado:
This person called miss B thinks she is very good at speaking English language,

dont mind the idiot hypocrite! jobless cow

i will never and can never lick anybody's shirt and can never ask that of anyone,

i didnt really read the whole post but my answer to the title is yes, my rationale - no matter how much you love rice (for example), you must eat eba, amala, yam etc, the fact that u eat chocolate or biscuit or whatever else, doesn't mean you dont love rice, u get my drift?

however, u cant say u love rice but eat it once a yr, as u cant neglect something you love (even if it is bad for u, if u think I'm lying, ask smokers!)

the question is: do u want him too

segzi cres:
if i was a woman i would probably be sleeping with anybody that cares to Bleep. i wonder what you guys think?

Even as a man that is totally disgusting! where's your self-respect? shame on you! that's why you are not a woman, silly man!

charisma
good sense of humour
white teeth (or near  enuff white)
intelligence
confidence (not arrogance)

i'm also a sucker for nice legs, big arms, fingers and feet!


turn offs are: pot belly, bald head, short stubby fingers, brown teeth/bad dentition, yellow eyes, big nose/wide nostrils, bad skin, bad breath, empty pockets, empty bank account, empty brain, ugly feet, okoro legs with serious 'yams', bicycle-seat head, bad english (especially 'h' factor)  etc etc

MrCrackles:
Holy Mary wetin u wan make i talk?!

Person dey cry like small pikin because of man!!

and so if u men were not so wicked this will not be happening,

the girl needs closure

MrCrackles:
keep crying like a child deprived of breast milk and don't move on with your life!

Crackles, why now? seriously, this is very uncalled for, apologise before aunty mary cracks ur big head!

chika98:
Do what I did. . Give em lip balm

exactly! thats wot i always do as well, i also love giving hand lotions, nothing worse than a man with dry hands!

go with my gut feelings 100%! unless they uncovered a part of his past that I didn't know about e.g. he's a killer, woman basher, armed robber etc etc

Eurphoria:
nothin you can do, it will fade with time. Even if you keep yourself busy and find a distraction, you will still think about him,i bet you wake up first thing in the morning thinking of him? Time, only time and you will see later how silly you have been wasting ur energy thinking and crying over someone who just disappeared on you. don't worry it will go

i cudn't have said it better! most of us have been here before, ONLY time can help your situation, lemme also add one more thing - keep holding on to the past and how perfect the relationship was etc etc will not help, you also have to be willing to move on as well cos if you aint, no amount of time will help you heal, until then, love urself & look fabulous

yicob:
I was in benin last week for a project that would last 3 days. During my stay, I met a young girl of 22. She works as a receptionist in a manufacturing company. We got talking immediately but i could not go far with my ulterior motive because she has a ring on her finger. She was in my lodge the second day and the heat was so high that nobody could resist. I don't go out with ladies that have stable relationship. . . . . .so i quickly asked if shes engaged. Before I could say Tope2000, she said "engage 4 where?" this na ordinary fashion. . . . . . .Abeg carry dey go. Since that day, have been taking special interest in ladies with engagement ring. Who knows, 85% could be mere fashion.

bwwwaaaaahahahaahahahahahahahahaahaaaa! yicob, u are too funny, i nearly fell off my bed!  


how benin now? my hometown, abeg next time u go, hail them for me oh!

as per engagement ring, i wear one as well and its because men too dey worry!

@ OP - this your post na wa oh! lolololllllll,

i hope none of the men on NL are taking notes oh!

.watever90:
yeah

she must have it,bad looks shouldnt be d problem,i believe in gathering the worst of my problems,to create a good atmosphere for the best

so if my hubby says "jenny u don't look good to me again" instead of having sleepless night over that, i'd rather try to change into the person i was before or make me look good now than i was before

if my husband says that to me na slap im go chop! lololll