₦airaland Forum

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy anew car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTANI ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military
aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs Japan for
equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim
exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows &
naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
you wage war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRAZILIAN COW
You have two cows.
Whenver they breed the third, you
arrange for soccer tournament and
the winning team gets it.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

JAMAICAN COW
You have two cows.
You feed them with the same weed
that you smoke. Listen to Reggae
music and wonder when the number will
turn to three

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called
Cowkimon and market them
worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of
vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity
and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.


NIGERIAN ECONOMICS: {FEDERAL}
You have two cows
You eat one and claim it was stolen
Call in the Police to investigate
Police arrested everyone living within 100km
Torture them thoroughly until someone admitted
kidnapping the cow
The police instead collected one cow each from
everybody arrested
You have your cow back and the Police now owns a
cattle farm.
{TRIBES}

YORUBA ECONOMICS
You have two cows
U kill them both
And throw an owambe party!

IBO ECONOMICS
You have two cows
U make very good counterfeits of them
And sell for the price of the real cows!

HAUSA ECONOMICS
You have two cows
You rear them till they are four
Make sure ur kids rear cows too
And just maintain!


It's only a joke folks !

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics"?

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: Im the breadwinner of the family, so lets call me capitalism.
Your Mom, shes the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government.
Were here to take care of your needs, so well call you the people. The nanny, well consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nannys room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I thin k I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.

" The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

sorry wrong thread, "SPIDERMAN"

FG sues BAT, 2 others for N5.3 trillion

http://www.tribune.com.ng/07112007/news/news3.html

FG sues BAT, 2 others for N5.3 trillion

http://www.tribune.com.ng/07112007/news/news3.html

u can watch it online, try www.tv-links.co.uk but it has to buffer all d 40 mins.

Atiku was in our skool today,

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friends is d best , nd their r runner ups like  everybody loves raymond, the war at home, everybody hates chris, the cosby show, full house,

i like friends toooooo much.
rachel karen green - jennifer aniston
monica eustace geller - courtney cox arquette
phoebe frank buffay - lisa kudrow
joey tribiani - matt leblanc
chandler muriel bing - mathew perry
ross eustace geller - david scwimmer

trivia
++**do u know that ross & monica's middlename eustace is d name of Eustace in Cartoon Network Show Courage the Cowardly Dog.

++**do u know that chandler's middlename muriel is d name Muriel in Cartoon Network Show Courage the Cowardly Dog.

thumbs up to her!

Story of a College Girl (must read),

This is a story from University of Lagos about a young college girl who passed away last month.
Her name was Shola. She was hit by a truck. She had a boy friend named Ade. Both of them were true lovers. They always hung on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone. In fact she also changed her phone from MTN to Celtel, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost and get good network coverage. She spent half of the day talking with Ade. Shola's family knew about their relationship. Ade was very close with Shola's family. (Just imagine their love).

Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please bury me with my handset she also said the same thing to her parents. After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". Then her friends told the Master about her intentions to bury her with her phone.
He then opened the coffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.

Shola’s parents did not inform Ade that Shola had passed away. After 2 weeks Ade called Shola’s mom. Ade: "I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me please. Don’t tell Shola that I'm coming home today, I want to surprise her." Her mother replied, "You come home first; I want to tell you something very important." After he came, they told him the truth about Shola.
Ade thought that they were playing pranks. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Shola to come out, I have a gift for her and please stop this nonsense".

Then they showed him her grave. He said, "It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Ade was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang. "See this is from Shola, see this, " he showed the phone to Shola’s family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Shola & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Feng Shuie Master's help again. The Master brought his co-masters to solve this matter. He & his co-masters worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing,

i was in d skool all i know is dat they are in their 1st semester holiday up till now,

wonders shall never end! !

why is it that i can see $7500 written on the car's windscreen, ?

Former Defence Minister Engineer Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso and outgoing Peoples Democratic Party [PDP] national chairman


Dr. Ahmadu Ali are among some 90 persons selected by the Presidency for appoint-ment as Nigerian ambassadors and high commissioners to various countries, Daily Trust learnt in Abuja yesterday. They are to represent Kano and Kogi States respectively.

President Umaru Yar’Adua is expected to shortly forward a list of his ambassadorial nominees to the Senate for confirmation, as required by the Constitution. Kwankwaso was governor of Kano State in 1999-2003 and more recently, former president Olusegun Obasanjo made him Special Envoy to Darfur and Somalia. Dr. Ali, a former Chief

Consultant Physician in the Nigeria Army Medical Corps, has chaired the PDP since 2005. He was a former senator, former Federal Commissioner for Education and the first director general of the National Youth Service Corps [NYSC].

Daily Trust learnt that the former Minister of State for Power and Steel, Alhaji Ahmed Abdulhamid from Jigawa State, has also made the ambassadorial list. Abdul-hamid, a very close political associate of Jigawa State governor Alhaji Sule Lamido, was earlier nominated for ministerial appointment, but the Presidency later asked the Jigawa PDP chapter to replace him.

Also slated for the envoy’s list, Daily Trust learnt, was Alhaji Ibrahim Mai Sule, from Yobe State. Mai Sule was a banker for many years. More recently, he has been engaged in business and politics. Abuja–based businessman Alhaji Bashir Yuguda, from Zamfara State, has also made the list, sources said last night.

Compilation of the envoys’ list began last month when a top-level meeting at the State House worked out the appointment criteria and sharing formula. The meeting, presided over by President Yar’Adua, had in attendance Vice President Goodluck Jonathan, Secretary to the Government of the Federation Ambassador Babagana Kingibe, Senate President David Mark, House of Representatives Speaker Mrs. Patricia Etteh, PDP national chairman Dr. Ahmadu Ali and the then PDP national secretary, Chief Ojo Maduekwe.

The meeting agreed that each state in the country would have not less than two and not more than three ambassadors, at least one of whom must be a career forign service officer. State PDP chapters were then asked to forward three names each for consideration, with a warning from Yar’Adua that if any state chapter forwards nomi-nees that are not suitable, he would feel free to nominate others from the same state. Presidency sources said Yar’Adua left the choice entirely to the PDP chapters and did not nominate any envoys himself.

AMERICAN MUSCLE ------FOrD MusTang

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Cheyenne,


Which country is the smallest.??.

PRISON BREAK is much better 4 me,

T-Bag has released Mrs. Hollander .
Sucre has hooked up with his girlfriend at the airport.
Scofield has, ,.maan there is too much to say ,
u can go to http://fox.com/prisonbreak then click on recaps to read the recap.
OR
u can download it to watch.

guys i need 2 transfer a file through the net, the file is about 350MB how do i go about it , i tried yahoo but the highest capacity of a file there is 10MB.

hi i just recently got the 60gb ipod , maan this thing is the bomb.
there is this guy at skool and he has like 2000 songs on his system
but this amazing thing, consumed all , it takes 15000 songs on an average of
4 mins. per song,

i also had difficulties usin it at 1st.

u know the itunes imports songs automatically 4rm ur library, but i disabled mine
so i just manually drag files to my ipod icon under source menu, usin the itunes.

i just got a fifa 06 on psp but in french,

guys who knows whether i can change it to english

GRA Police Station, Yandoka Road, opposite Atiku Vanguard (formerlly obasanjo atiku campaign office)

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maan halo 2 is one heck of a game, too damn difficult

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