₦airaland Forum

ok. Send me ur account number.

What's the mileage? And will it fly for 700k?

You pics aint clear bros. Kindly post a clearer picture.

Interested in the crv if it would fly for 1.8m?

Hello Clemcy! Happy New year

Hope u had a bla bla free New year

The guy settle una wey una dey throway praise for am?

Inspired man, come inspire me too. I need a 1999 Honda Crv or RAV 4 asap?

I have a Mistibushi L200 for sale. Incase u r interested?

Igbo Sharpness

After a long period of silence an Igbo guy phones his good pal and the following conversation ensued,

Chike: Nna, How now??, long tam no see you!

Chidi: Nna, I just dey o. Wetin dey happen now ?

Chike: I jus dey, Ah beg, I need your hep for sontin,

Chidi: (grumbles) Na wetin?

Chike: Ah won borrow small money from una

Chidi: Hello? Hello? I can't hear u well o

Chike: I say ah need small money from una

Chidi: Hello? Hello? , dis line no clear o,

Chike: (yelling into the phone) Ah say come borrow me small money abeg!

Chidi: Hello? Hello??, I still can not hear you!

(The phone operator now butts in)
He said he wants you to borrow him money!

Chidi: NNA YOU WEY HEAR AM WELL GI AM THE MONEY NOW! (foolish operator shiooo, )

The Three Corpses

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.

A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.

"Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile Inspector," says the Coroner.

The Inspector is taken to the second dead man.

"Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Nothing unusual here," says the Inspector, and asks to be shown the last body.

"Ah," says the Coroner, "look at this one, he's black. Nigerian, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why the bloody hell is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

The Coroner replies, "It was his first time in the UK and he thought he was having his picture taken."

OGA SALESMAN

Scene inside a Lagos Molue Bus

A salesman was trying to sell a product which he claimed to be a cure for every ailment afflicting the human anatomy.

As he went about his business in the packed and stuffy Molue bus, a woman was trying to pacify her crying baby girl, much to the annoyance of the salesman.

Still, the salesman continued in his efforts to gain the attention of the people in the bus.

As he did so, the cries of the baby continued to wail loudly nearby.

With every passing minute, the salesman grew increasingly agitated at the sound coming from the baby.

When he could not take it any longer, he confronted the woman.

"Efun omo yi loyan now", he shouted at the woman.

"Oyan ko lo fe, ofe pon ni", the woman replied.

"Efun le pon then"

An old man traveled to London

An old man traveled to London to visit his children.

One chilly day he decided to take a stroll down Oxford Street. Unfortunately while on his stroll it started raining quite heavily and he decided to take shelter under a store canopy.

While under the canopy, an Englishman who was passing by tried to be friendly to the old man shivering under the canopy.

Here's what happened.

Englishman: Cold ain't it?

Baba Agba: "Ori re ko da! Baba re lo ni shobu ni?
(Translation: " You must be sick in the head, is this your father's shop" ?)

Baba Agba said this because the way the Englishman spoke, he thought he had said "Kuro nihin"
(Translation: Get away from there!)

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like,

1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.

2 Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.



4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.



5. Men are like Chocolate Bars , Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.


7. Men are like Department Stores , Their clothes are always 1/2 off!


8. Men are like , Government Bonds , They take soooooooo long to mature.



9. Men are like , Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.


13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.


Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

You have just been KISSED by the Dancing Baby! something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere.

If you don't laugh at this one you need to lighten up!



It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.

As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?

'Heavens no, we bought it.'

'Then why don't you drive it away.'

'We can't drive.'

'Then why did you buy it?'

'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed, so we're just waiting.

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee,

On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:

"You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down,

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

JUST TOO CUTE.

This is the cleanest E-mail joke
I've come across in a long while!




A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?"
She asked.

"Hunting Flies"
He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.




Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone"

Am sure he's not buying in January! No be Wenger? Please AW prove me wrong

Only if we don't lose games to clubs with names ending with "city" e.g. Hull City, Manchester City,

Chei! We don die ooo. No worry! Wenger will shock ya'll and make 5 big buy

@Sauron

Agreed! AW is begining to lose touch but how come the worst Arsenal team snatched 3 points each from Man. U and Chelsea? Is it that Fergie boy and Scolari do nt av antidote to his foolishness?

Kiss read his lips!

wetin una come dey do? Romance?

See una moderators dey fight!

This baby is gone!

SOLD! SOLD!! SOLD!!!

Thank you all for your interests!

Fake predictions doesnt shake Arsenal!

ur email nko?

Most of the pics are larger than 200 therefore can't upload it. You can send me ur email addy and i would send the pics to ur box.

My number is 8067160775

Mileage unbelievable - less than 150k

check this view

This baby is barely 10months in Nigeria and hardly driven except to Church on Sundays -  Ogba - Ojota
- Super clean and engine well maintained
- Two Airbag
- Over full option
- Bling bling Alloy
- Auto Transmission
- A.C is factory fitted and can keep Ice Cream frozen
- CD Player
Price : 700k
Interested buyers can holla me on 080

Diaby (that guy na monkey) and Bendtner (dumbest striker)

@Poster

Sincerely use ur church mind. if somebody sell this car to u for 200k, u go buy? Ans with ur church mind!

En hen?

This ur profile pic, na u be that? Nna men u ugh ooo!