₦airaland Forum

Sissie: With nothing? She must have gone in with something.
She probably gave him rest of mind and satisfied him for him to think clearly, feel good, energetic to make more money, she must have added value to his life one way or the other.

If a man marry a gold digger either for her looks or something, he got himself into it. Except of course if she played him.

tbaba1234: How is it fair, that a woman who came in with nothing leaves with half of the man's wealth?

This thing turns women into gold diggers because they know that if they can marry a man for his wealth.

deols: A woman can sign up a pre nuptial that gives her as much power. The feasibility is the problem.

In the US, she'd get half of what he has. If she puts that in jer contract as a Nigeroan, she'd wield as much power.

But no nija man will agree to that.

tbaba1234: I can't say i have a long list. My list is quite short.



Women are very powerful in a marriage particularly in the west. If a man marries the wrong woman, she can and will make his life miserable. And usually divorce is bad for the man because he loses his wealth and most likely his children, plus he has to be paying the woman a percentage of his salary.

A woman can turn a man's children against him if she wishes because children are usually closer to their mum.

Sissie: Best is to marry someone who is more successful and more or as ambitious as you.

maclatunji: I don't think we should belabour the issue. Most people here are adults and as you make your bed so you lie on it. To each his/her own.

ShehuAba: Taking a critical look at deols stance on LOVE FIRST in a marriage before other things.

To me, i think LOVE is important in a marriage as most people feel safe, happy with people they love. Most at times they can go out of their way to please a LOVED one.
But, i want to agree more that, there's more to a MARRIAGE than just LOVE.
Love as most people have commented is phenomenal but not absolute. Love can be true, natural, fake etc.
Therefore, LOVE is not constant, it varies, some people might love you today and hate you tomorrow, Some might hate you today and Love you tomorrow.
Some people might LOVE you, but you HATE them while some might HATE you but you LOVE them.
LOVE can increase or decrease with TIME. It's never STATIC. LOVE is unpredictable.
Women most at times after giving birth tend to pay more attention to them than their husbands not because they don't LOVE them but because something more LOVEABLE is now existing. Some Women who remain in a marriage did so because of their children and nothing more.
You wonder sometimes why people who are so fond of one another, and love themselves dearly divorce after a short period of Time.
Does it mean they don't LOVE themselves again?
Has the LOVE Suddenly Diminished?
Is there something missing?
You even wonder more when you talk to them and they still insist that LOVE still exists between them but they can't just live together.
Thus the real question comes. After LOVE what else?
LOVE is Never the begining and the end in a marriage.

Love gets you into a Marriage, Understanding keeps the Marriage going, Chemistry makes the Marriage last longer than you can ever imagine.

ShehuAba: Question Of The Day:
Which of the following do you think is mostly needed for a sucessful Marriage with reasons:
1. LOVE
2. UNDERSTANDING
3. CHEMISTRY

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tobnical: I need MSc. Info Tech 2nd semester past Question papers. kindly send them to tobnical@gmail.com. If u need first semester question paper for Msc info Tech, u can contact ♍ƺ as well.

tbaba1234: I focused on only one area for a particular reason but there are other considerations.

We should be able to find conscious muslims that fit our criteria but I don't subscribe to a muslim who barely prays but fits the other areas.

That is the point.

deols: There are many ways to look at it. I agree that the love of Allah and Islam is very good. But is it enough to make a marriage work?

Ok. so,the brother is knowledgeable, recites with tajweed, knows tafsir etc. are good qualities and can be a point in keeping the couple together . They may even have learning sessions that the children can partake in. All of these sound very good.

But we must not forget that this is not all that marriage is about. There is finance,career, fun,education, sex(even though pple shy away from it as if not important)

If they have all of those religious factors and lack understanding in the rest, they will have problems.

There have been instances of the religious first wives, who just stay at home and keep praying while the husband is out and about with the younger, more educated and probably more beloved other wife.

or of the Muslim brother whose body exposing secretary-turned-new-wife is now wearing a scarf.

While a woman has only one time to do it right, a man has at least four times.

What I am saying in essence is, The best thing would be to have that person who is truly beloved and also religious.

Ewoma45: No b pesin go marry security man.Why should your sister be an exemption?

deols: why would you love someone you can not communicate with?

does that ever happen?

tbaba1234: Love is the most overrated thing in a marriage.

(Editing)

deols: that is your opinion.

I didnt say it is the only important thing.

oladimejiX: ehn ehn so what? make up your lets see

deols: Most of the time, when there is understanding, all of these things will not be an issue.

I know of a man who left the love of his life for outrageous reasons. For societal dictates of what is right or wrong.

Many years later and an unhappy life, they realise they may have worked it out and may have made it together.

People just need to break from that bond of culture and societal demand especially when their Islam is not threatened by breaking away from it.

tobnical: how?