₦airaland Forum

seanwilliam:
this is a very crazy input, but unfortunately, you’re right .



Well @ op babaibo , as you Dey think am naso me self Dey but I want to tell you something .

Pls and pls , when you finally see the person u one marry , and you notice some red flags you deeply know you can’t cope with , pls don’t take risk . I know no one is perfect , but pls and pls don’t take the risk .






Also look out for these qualities before you marry woman
1. Submission and appreciation mindset
2. Apologetic personality
3. Homely and respectful .

You see those three qualities will guarantee u peace of mind and healthy family.

And finally finally , pls and pls and pls babaibo


AVOID WOMEN RAISED BY DIVORCED SINGLE MOM( especially those whose mother have divorced more than once ))Forget talk talk , run as fast as your legs can carry you bro ..

Nothing do you bro.
Points noted and advice taken!

Johel:
The benefit of marriage is only to have children...for the children to have parents atleast,Nothing else...lol

LoL

Cousin9999:
And those are broken, ratchet homes. It's just a fact that kids benefit more from a proper, married household.



It's not about the food. It's about the love and care in it. It's about someone that makes sure you eat well, gets your favorite on your birthday, cooks you something soothing when you're sick, and takes over cooking when you're really tired.



Chose better and do better and maybe you won't have that problem.



It's a sign of poor mental health and education that you view intimacy and human beings in that way.

And intimacy problems in marriages are a result of laziness in looking after the relationship. They're also a result of ignorance where some people think their partner is a machine.



Again, choose better. Stop looking for slay queens, and find someone who's a good partner.



Some guys work very hard, and they need a breather before tackling household responsibilities. Women are no different. That's life. Even single people may do this. It is what it is.

But some guys are immature. They don't go home because they want to be single while married. And they want to have all the married benefits with none of the work. They may have married too soon.



Marriage isn't for everyone. However, an educated, well-adjusted person generally doesn't ask this question.

That is your opinion, I gave examples that quashed your so-called educated and well-adjusted reasoning.
Next time, learn not to go personal in making your points, you don't know me but you already assuming.

Since all opinions(both negative and positive) are welcomed, I have read yours and let me move to the next person.

Thank you!

ajayiopy:
PRAY TO GOD TO PROVIDE YOU WITH WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE AND VALUE. MARRIAGE IS GOOD AND THIS IS MY 12-YEARS.

Good one!

May God help us all!!

LZAA:
Better oil dey your head bros!!

Thank you bro!

Osibajo2023:
if you are tough, financially stable, principled and don't take shit for/from woman you will enjoy woman

From my observations, you are not wrong bro.

mecussey:
LOL, you used C Ronaldo and mikel as examples, those two are married. When two come together to procreate, cohabit, with the consent of the parents, they become one and as matter of fact married. Africans took it extreme and made it look like marriage is expensive. Just get a babe, and procreate with her with the consent of her parents.

The problem we have is African marriage... If you want to avoid those problems you listed there, just get a girl and start living together. The benefits of having a woman by your side is the children and the children needs security. If you don't cohabit with a woman, the children will lack.

Note that forces beyond human understanding will worry you to go public with weddings and the nonsense, just block your ear until you achieve all your goals.

However, if you are not financially stable, do not marry/cohabit/procreate yet. E get why

LoL, C. Ronaldo and Mikel are married, na im dem dey call their girls BabyMamas OR girlfriends anytime them wan address them?

peggywebbs:
The responses here is enough reason why divorce is rampant in our generation. How can someone start a topic, what is the benefit of marriage?

For one thing marriage is not meant to have any benefit, people shouldn't get married because they want to get something from the union. Women are not baby making machines either and men shouldn't feel obligated to get married.

However, marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. People were meant to marry for love, in fact people eloped to have secret marriages when the odds were against them.

If you're marrying because you want something out of it, you will be disappointed and you will leave your wife. If you stay, it would just be like sharing a house. When you decide that you want to marry, it means every part of you wants to be with that person, you don't want to share them with another. You're laying a claim on your love and letting everyone know that you chose that person. Well that's for genuine love.

But if you set out on a mission to find a life partner, well that's like every business contract. It will end, you will lose interest, you won't find its value because it didn't happen naturally. You decided okay I'm looking for a girl, I'm checking out her properties, can I wife her? All that is a project, what do you expect like any other business arrangement? You expect her to give you kids, care for your home cook and do the tumble.

No genuine love, nothing. Some people even marry for status. Some for the gram.. every minute a picture for the perfect family. Well that's a benefit for them. If you're marrying for anything other than love, im sorry you're in for a rough start.

Good, I like the angle you're coming from, but you failed to understand the question before answering it.... You missed the "IN OUR PRESENT TIME" in the question.
Now, ask yourself does the kind of love you stated in your response still exist.

Remember that kind of love is a sacrificial one OR let me say one with pain and not only enjoyment.

Both of us know a lot of people are complaining that the "for better for worse" part of the marriage vows should he removed, what does that tell you?

With all these in mind, one will be on the right course if he ask "what is in it for him..."

Nazgul:
Marriage became useless to men because we abandoned our culture and tradition and embraced that of the Western world.

When you start sleeping with girls from the age of 16 and have a body count of close to 50 girls by the time you're 30, what usefulness do you expect to get from marriage? Truth is even you the man wouldn't value the marriage and would immediately resume your sexcapade after your honeymoon

The only way to restore decorum in African marriages is to embrace back our culture.

Pre marital sex must be seen as an abomination, those who practice it would be banished from their community.

Virginity test should be one of the requirements a girl must possess before marriage can take place, this will reduce promiscuity in girls.

A law should be passed that ràpists would earn in instant death sentence upon conviction. This would reduce promiscuity in guys cos no one would be willing to risk his life for a few minutes of pleasure.

Also there should be laws governing marriages that would make unfaithful partners risk jail term.

Once this measures can be put in place, I strongly believe that marriages would become as rosy as it was meant to be. And wouldn't be useless to both men and women.

The bolden is not valid because I am not the wayward type.
My first real sexual experience was in my 20s and my body count is not countless.
I have been celibate for over 3 to 4 years until man decided to ease stress late last year, and I am on it again.
Are you saying having sex once in 5 years is a wayward life?

I can see you stylishly exonerated your gender of any wrongdoing and put all the blames on men.

BTW, all these didn't stop the marital benefit women get because they enjoyed alot from it irrespective of their past lifestyles.

I can't say anything about your other points because it doesn't answer my question.

Again, your comment is not realistic, face the post realistically as it is and leave the "if" part.

Just mention the benefit and leave the "if" and other points you mentioned.

BePrepared:
Your words are wise, when kids start having sex by the time marriage ought to be expected and enjoyed you hear these kinds of stuff.

I'm 31 I can't wait to be married, its like everything to me WHY?

I left off premarital sex and focused on building myself and now that I'm ready godly dating and marriage is exciting me.

You're 31, and it is like everything to you because you don't have any other thing to focus on.

I can still count the number of people(females) I had stuffs with and I think the first one was in my early twenties, lest for the daddy and mommy thing which we all know were not sex/penetration I did when I was young.

Hypocrite, you're not a virgin but you're calling others names. You don't have moral justification for that.

It is getting kinda costly now, tho cheaper when compared with most other cities.

Now, the agents are increasing the rent because they are aware people are moving there in numbers and they feel if they are moving from Lagos and so on, they should be able to cope with the cost.

Before, a shop in osogbo was 100k/year at most but now, every new complex is charging 400k upward with outrageous agent and agreement fee and the funny thing is the buying strength of most Osogbo residents is low.
Before with 100k you will get a 2 bedroom flat but now it is double or more of that.

Except you want to live in those ancient areas aka "agbole."

Osogbo is a civil service city.
It is peaceful lest for the skullarship and miners there. Relatively close to Lagos and Ibadan.
It has good power supply too.

Loveisnotenough:
That's why it's not advisable to get into it without money. There's no Gaddam benefit, nothing at all but then again, isn't it better to raise our kids responsibly? Sure it is. Every man must get married even if it means getting divorced every now and then.

I am telling you, "More like I know this is not advantageous OR beneficial but lemme just do it anyway."


Are you saying other kids are not raised responsibly?
I mean kids in Mikel, Ronaldo, Techno, Patoranking etc kind of union.

Moreover, is it every kids in marriage that are responsible?

Sweetplum:
Go n read Genesis.

You mean procreation?

Ballzproblemm:
absolutely nothing

"Nothing" would have been better na, at least make e leave am as e take meet am.
But, honestly I have been thinking about it, it may even be beneficial to people around him but what about him?
Instead of adding, it sucks from him.

Marriage they say is a beautiful thing but if you ask many men out there what marriage is to them or what marriage has brought to them or will they get married if they are given chances to rewind time, their responses will be in negative form or NO.

That same step(marriage) is the next step to be taken by me but I have one unanswered question. I am a young man in my 30s, currently free from any dating relationship and about to begin my search for a life partner, but I like being cleared/well-informed about something before going into it.

Pardon me for this long note I am about to dish out and the question I will be asking at the end.

For sometimes now, people around me have been telling me I am next in line to get married, some telling me to ensure I bring a responsible lady home and all that.
My mom do tell me she won't rush me to get married but as an observant person you will notice she really wants me to bring a woman(wife) home.

My dad told me sometimes ago that if I don't have a lady, that maybe they should search for a young good girl for me early next year.
My younger ones are expecting me to take that step so they can start planning on theirs and all that.

All these are for their own good or benefits, I am not saying they don't deserve it but I have been trying to get a tangible reason to get married i.e what is the SPECIAL thing(benefit) it will add to my life, I am the one getting married not them.
"Na me wan wear the shoe."

A bikeman, popularly known as Okadaman that do come to my place told me story about himself and big opportunities that marriage has made him miss.

In addition to his words and those I have heard from others, the fear of things going south, disappearance of peace of mind and all that are other factors.

Presumed(anticipated) benefits which are not as they are expected to be again are)

CHILDREN: Children can be gotten without marriage, for example: C. Ronaldo, Mikel, and others did that and they are doing well.

GOOD MEALS: Foods can be gotten from outside or prepared by the man or any other person that is not a wife for the man. Moreover, how many of them can cook well like our mothers? I'm a better cook than most ladies I have come across.

COMPANIONSHIP: That is an overstatement in our present society. It is even more noticeable in dating relationship than in some marriages these days.

SEX: That is the cheapest service/thing to get after air and water(clean water is even more expensive). Moreover many marriages are lacking sexually. It is worse if the man has high sex drive aka high libido.

SUPPORT: I don't want to go there because it is an open fact that instead of getting support, the man is being leached/milked of the one he has.

HOME: I can still remember how some married men will pack their cars at the junction, stay inside their cars for long before driving home, some go to the bar/relaxation centers to chill before going home, some don even like going home. You all know why?

With all these in mind, I want to ask this question that has been bothering me because I need to sort it before taking the step...

Now, my question is "WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE TO A MAN IN THIS OUR TIME?"

PS: I used this image because what marriage did to the man in the picture is in the open

NaijaRoyalty:
Dr Ogbonna Onu and Nwajiuba (minister of education for states) maybe the concensus candidate from the look of things

I think it may be Emefiele of CBN.

I don't wholly/fully like/support how the previous and current crops of IPOB's leaders are going about the agitation but Wike's candidacy is DOA in all honesty.

Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi... CRA '23 is the deal.

phemmyfour:
A typically drunkard... continue to wallow in your folly

...and if I haven't tasted an alcoholic drink in the last one month(or drank irresponsibly in the last 8 years) make wetin do you? If I swear for you for calling me what I am not, e go dey follow you but I don't do that.

You people will just open your dirty mouth waaah because you feel you can talk to people anyhow unto say na faceless forum.

So because I don't agree with OP's and your myopic and inept opinion, it means I am a drunkard.

BTW, are some of the so-called drunkards not better than you in every ramifications?
Are you better than Obiano of anambra state, GEJ, those that chill with their friends during the weekends and others?

Mr man, go and find and work on the source/cause of your frustration and leave innocent drink alone.

Anyway, you lack common sense and as such you don't deserve a further response.

Kaysnow:
Healthy living bro

Bro, don't let us drag this.

What is healthy living?

What about our forefathers?

What is the average lifespan now irrespective of drinking or not?

The problem is not drinking bro.

Kaysnow:
Buy a red meat and get an alcoholic drink, pour the alcohol on the meat then you will see for yourself what those drinks do to the system.

LOL, Mr man the no of years one spend on earth is independent of drinking(responsible drinking, even if it is daily or frequently).

Longblife no be by not drinking or drinking.

phemmyfour:
You don't want to know what I have achieved in the last decade

Your achievements at your age might even be what boys in their 20s and 30s have achieved in multiple fold and still breaking more ground.

It doesn't matter because those that also drinks have their own achievements.

In a nutshell, face front, mind your business and let others live their lives.
Everyone is answerable OR responsible for the kind of lives they choose to live.

geelite:
ADEKUNLE AJASIN UNIVERSITY ONDO STATE
COURSE- CHEMISTRY

Which year/set?

OP, abi I don post am ni?

Anyway, let me join the fun...

Trading Universe of Nigeria(TUN), Lagos State Campus...

Course: Cosmetics Business

phemmyfour:
You're right. In my nysc days, my roommates used to spend at least N3k on shayo first thing after receiving their Alawee while I will just buy MTN N500 recharged card and face front

How many houses you don build abi how many cars, investments etc., do you have?

I drink occasionally but I know people who do frequently and they have achieved a lot in life.
Had it been they drink irresponsibly, it would have been a different thing.

My point is leave people with their way of life as long as it is not sinful OR illegal.

Truth be told, I prefer a Liverpool vs Madrid final than vs Man City's final, because Man City eyes dey shook for that cup.

#YNWA

[s]

Biafranodogwu55:
U head gel wella bro...i said it before and am repeating it again
Real madrid for UCL
Mancity for EPL
Chelsea for FA CUP
Liverpool for Carabao cup

[/s]
Trash!

Righteousness2:
Bro it's either you have been Spiritually dull /Blind or you are filled with Folly! Because there is no difference btw what I put out and what I have always stood for.

I want to believe You have been Delivered! I praise GOD for that!

You are a big hypocrite, anyone(I mean any person that calls himself or herself a Christian) can say what you said to that guy, so be humble, it is not a big deal.

The bible said thou shall not judge but in your myopic mind you think you are spiritually sharp and better because of the trash and conspiracies you dish out here everytime.

Honestly, only dumb and spiritually naive people take you serious.

I don't take you serious and that is evident in my previous quote where I said you made sense for the first time in, which means you rarely make sense or reasonable comments or contributions.
I am not insulting you, I am only being real here.

Why are you being delusional?
So every other person is not save(i.e delivered) but you?
Just because of a quote, you think another is not delivered... Lol, you self na pastor like this?

People like you are the ones Christ referred to in Mathew 7:21.
I pity you sha, you better do the needful before it is too late.

Udo!

Righteousness2:
Liberal Christian Hear this so u quit deceiving yourself.

Revelation 3:15-16
I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

First time you're making sense via a quote/mention in a long time.

Kudos!

Naustine:
I can relate. I will visit the school next week when I start my leave. Private school work is as good as not having a job

Good...
No be lie bro.

ajepako:
Bros, do you know as an educated folk and especially a teacher, you could express a contrary view and opinion without resorting to insults? It's one of our basic ethic and tenets, remember?

Also note that teaching and teaching establishments differ everywhere

I happen to be one of the lucky few with great teaching experience ( l have had a few bad ones in my almost 20 years of teaching too) but that doesn't mean all is bad with the profession

Best wishes to you sir

I only asked a question and no insult intended. Referring to the first line in my other reply.

Yes, it differs, but saying teaching is the best i.e the best job is an overstatement. There are other jobs far better than teaching.

BTW, I am just that type of teacher people call accidental teachers, it was never my plan to teach but due to NYSC(that posted me to a school) and Post-NYSC employment wahala in Nigeria I decided to go into teaching.

Anyway, it is all good and part of life journey, so I thank God.

I wish you the same ma'am!

LegacyB:
I sense frustration around you. Someone you don’t know you called a failure. His only crime is supporting another candidate different from yours.The joke is actually on you, cos how else do we define DEMOCRACY?

Keep quoting me with different monikers, I care less.

Supporting another candidate is not the issue but putting all the blames on opposition, tackling everyone supporting opposition back then and anyone who doesn't support his darling daddy back then were the reason I told you that.

Now, that his darling daddy has flopped, he has moved to another likely flop.
GTFO!