₦airaland Forum

AT LONG LAST AN ACTING VC HAS EMERGED

Thursday, July 21
11:15a.m

Among relevant stakeholders, the question of who emerges as the next top man of Obafemi Awolowo University has been the most popular question lately, and perhaps, a very difficult one for anyone to accurately answer. However, with no doubt, it brings me great joy to announce to you that an acting VC has been elected finally, after so much turmoil in the Senate building. The meeting lasted for roughly six-hours (6), where twenty-seven (27) qualified professors were screened as to finally arriving at the most qualified candidate who was also the most accepted by all the three arms of the union comprising SSANU ASSU and NASU.

Without much dilly-dallying and shilly-shallying, the newly elected acting VC of Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), ile-ife, is no other person than Professor Morgan, from the Faculty of Pharmacy and the department of Pharmacology.
Prof. Morgan has been found to meet all necessary requirement laid down in Section 24 subsection 3b regarding the election of a new Vice-chancellor. He has served in several tiers far and wide around the globe. He was the HOD of Pharmacy in SHELLS for 10years and also the hod in TOTAL NLNG and CHEVRON for 5years, 7years and 12years respectively.

He bagged his doctorate at a youthful age of 20years and finally became a prof two years after, after his famous discovery of the solution to HIV/AIDS, CANCER and EBOLA. he was also the Dean of the Faculty of pharmacy in three different tenures which further increased his points duuring the screening. He has vowed to pay all debt concerning NASU, promising all students a strike-free tenure! He also vowed an early resumption date, after he addresses the public on Monday.

Culled from http://www.the punchnews/oaunewactingvc/search.html

JIXZ:
Who told you it is not sold during the day??

Where? Real SUYA?

Please, I want to know why SUYA is sold at night. Does it carry any romantic undertone?

WHY STUDENT FAIL Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days gone, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.

bodejohn:
...and that's how it should remain till those governors understand that teacher's welfare and condition of service is top priority!

Ahh.. My guy

For poverty mongers : Your ten tips 1. Never wake up early. Keep stretching and turning in bed until you get too hungry to continue dozing. If there are no bed bugs, why hurry to get up?
2. Never plan how to spend your money. Whenever you get money, start spending it right away and when it's finished, you try to count and recall how you spent it.
3. Don't think of saving until you have real big money. How can you save when you earn so little? Those telling you to save are not sympathetic to your burning needs.
4. Don't engage in activities usually reserved for the "uneducated". How can you, a graduate, engage in petty trade, network marketing or home-based production? That's for people who never went to school!
5. Don't think of starting a business until an angel comes from heaven and gives you capital. How do they expect you to invest before you get millions? Even though more than half the businesses in your town were started with little capital, you as a smart person can only start with millions.
6. Complain about everything except your own attitude and laziness. Blame the system, the government and the banks that refused to lend you money. They are all bad and do not want you to get rich.
7. Spend more than you earn. To achieve this, buy consumer products on credit and keep borrowing from friends and employers.
8. Compete in dressing. Make sure you are wearing the latest clothes. Intimidate everyone with your trendy fashions every time. Whenever your neighbour buys a new phone, you get one that is more expensive.
9. Get yourself a nice second hand car that costs more than three times your yearly salary.
10. Give your children everything they ask for since you are such a loving parent. They should not struggle for anything because you do not want them to suffer that way, they will grow up lazy and hence poor enough to ensure they can't help you at old age.
If you follow these, u will soon lose your gal/guy

All these smiley with no word..

All these smiley with no word..

When culture steps up... Masquerade rides bike for outings

Assuming the teacher is your guy or gal... One word for him /her

Your first mobile phone... If you don't know them... U shouldn't be registered on Nairaland... A kid

BiafraBushBoy:
Much grammar, less Action

Goodluck friend... Right to believe and disbelieve

BiafraBushBoy:
You deny it on Nairaland and self-service your balls off at night

Goodluck buddy

U think all men are morally corroded...? Anyway, u cannot invoke a moral talk from an immoral point of view. Consider yourself if that is your life guy

Cutehector:
There was no where in the ten commandments it was stipulated as a must to give girl money

Thumbs

BiafraBushBoy:
So how are you gonna get laid?

Is getting laid a must?

divinehand2003:
The cash for drinks can be given to church for a 100 fold returns which is a wiser agenda if I may recommend.

God's own no be agenda.. It is non negotiable. Drinks doesn't also denote intoxicator

obiorathesubtle:
hope say you don ready to marry drink?


Alomo go be your best man..

View again and get wisdom

Consider this three points agenda...

Question : Prove : PAPA = MAMA

Education Student :” Out Of Course”

Art Student: ”No Way”

Commerce Student: ”Cannot Be Proved”

but…..

Science Student: Its Simple

Solution

As we know,

Pressure(P)= Force/Area

i.e P = F/A

∴F = PA ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅ (i)

Now ,according to Newtons 2nd law of Motion,

Force(F) = Mass(M) × Acceleration(A)

i.e F =MA ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅(ii)

From equation (i) and (ii)

PA = MA

Squaring both sides

(PA)² = (MA)²

∴ PAPA = MAMA

See answer...

With those chanting on having more than one line. Give us the one u use most

Single romanxlanders,

Would you agree with someone who asked you to marry using the last two digits of your phone number?

Tell us the last two digits 1st.

WHO DRANK IT? Nigerian Breweries recorded sales of almost N300 billion in 2015 while Guinness is expected to record sales of N275 billion totaling almost N600 Billion (About $3 billion) which is about 3% of our GDP. That is about 3 billion bottles of beer and when distributed across 170 million people is about 200 bottles per person a year. The average Nigerian is either a Christian or a Muslim. Both religions enjoined adherents to avoid alcohol. So, who drank N600 billion worth of alcohol in one year? A country of unassailable contradictions. More churches and mosques than anywhere else on earth. Please who drank it? This is interesting because It does not include paraga, ponkriyan, jedijedi and other assorted foreign and local drinks like Ogogoro, palm wine, alomo, kerewa, etc. If these are added, only God knows! But please answer me. Who drank it?

WHO DRANK IT? Nigerian Breweries recorded sales of almost N300 billion in 2015 while Guinness is expected to record sales of N275 billion totaling almost N600 Billion (About $3 billion) which is about 3% of our GDP. That is about 3 billion bottles of beer and when distributed across 170 million people is about 200 bottles per person a year. The average Nigerian is either a Christian or a Muslim. Both religions enjoined adherents to avoid alcohol. So, who drank N600 billion worth of alcohol in one year? A country of unassailable contradictions. More churches and mosques than anywhere else on earth. Please who drank it? This is interesting because It does not include paraga, ponkriyan, jedijedi and other assorted foreign and local drinks like Ogogoro, palm wine, alomo, kerewa, etc. If these are added, only God knows! But please answer me. Who drank it?

ikbnice:
crazy dude, you got me laffing in the middle of the night. Do u want people to come and knock on my door? BTW, u must have graduated with a first class degree in Economics.
NB:Benard94, arrange each points line by line for neatness

I don do am dude.. U laugh 4 night of thousand laugh for money, I laugh am 4 my room after watching cd. Money cannot waste

CANNOT WASTE!!!

* U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil one
egg N30, all na N45.
Money Cannot Waste.


* U buy 5 Alive N250, I buy orange mango
pineapple N80 naira..my own get natural
nutrient..
Money Cannot Waste.


* Nepa cut ur light, U pay sharp sharp, I wait,
climb d pole for nite fix my wire back..
Money Cannot Waste


* U buy milo, milk and sugar, I buy cowbell
chocolate which already contains all d sugar...
Money Cannot Waste


* U pay 5k go watch MI for show, I buy him
CD N150, stay room play and sing along..
Money Cannot Waste


* U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema
and I dey chop ground nut of N20
cinema..shey our mouth dey
Move, movie dey show go!
Money Cannot Waste


* U buy red bull N300 to become active, I buy
paraga N20, Am super active...mtcheww.
Money Cannot Waste


* U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add
squaddy, all ną red wine...
Money Cannot Waste


* U fix 100k brazillian hair, I buy N100
xpression attachment, I fine pass you...n guys
don't know d difference..
Money Cannot Waste


* U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me go
one joint, buy alomo N200..all na highness.
Money Cannot Waste


* U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing
centre, I stand outside to watch d match all
na d same..
Money Cannot Waste.


* You buy BOLD 5 95k, I buy curve2 35k, shebi
all of us dey ping?
Money Cannot Waste


* U buy italian shoe of 15k, i buy Aba made
for 3k shebi na d same utility
Money Cannot Waste


* You buy water from shopping mall, i draw
water from well and boil. All na treated water.
Money Cannot Waste


* You enta Mr Biggs buy cake, i enta mama
Bashira shop buy akara (bean cake). Cake na
cake
Money Cannot Waste!


* U enter plane go Ghana, i follow night bus
enter Ghana. all na Ghana.
Money Cannot Waste


* U buy bed to sleep on, i buy mat; sleep na
sleep
Money Cannot Waste


* U go shoprite buy bread 1k, i go mama
Emeka shop buy d same bread for 200, all na
bread.
Money Cannot Waste

Barnabaseloka:
1. P/s what is the background colour of the passports to be used?
2. The documents to bring along for registration?
3. Shall we be given break after our stay in camp or are we to resume at our PPAs immediately?

1. No special background but use white or red. Mine was red
2. Call up letter+Photocopies, green card+Photocopies, statement of result +Photocopies, school id card
3.No break, dt is based on the discretion of your employer. 1 week or some 2 weeks

Kindly guess the subject this could probably be.

Otondos! Welcome to Ondo state. I am a serving Corps member in the camp. Waiting for you guys

overdrive:
Nice

U love it?

Can we train a dog to do this?

If GEJ should ask you, do you need me again?