A PRETTY GIRL WENT TO CHURCH, TO MAKE A CONFESSION TO A PRIEST. THE MAN ASKED HER WHAT THE MATTER IS. SHE THEN SAID MY BOYFRIEND DID SOMETHING BAD TO ME. THE PASTOR NOW KISSED HER AND SAID DID HE DO THIS TO U? SHE SAID NO, HE HUGGED HER AND SAID DID HE DO THIS TO U? SHE SAID NO, HE NOW PULLED OFF HER CLOTH AND SAID DID HE DO THIS TO U? SHE SAID NO, HE NOW MADE LOVE TO HER AND SAID DID HE DO THIS TO U? SHE SAID NO, AND THEN HE NOW SAID WHAT IS THE THING HE DID THAT IS MAKING U TO BE CRYING? THEN THE GIRL SAID "HE GAVE ME AIDS." THE PASTOR, THEN FAINTED,

ooh u did?

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said, "sit here and let me tell you about those young boys." "he is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don't let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family." with that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted, "grandma, i didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, i just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced his family, " granny fainted!

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”
“Is the man of the house at home?” they asked.
“No”, she replied, “he’s out.”
“Then we cannot come in”, they responded.
When her husband came home in the evening, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am at home and invite them in,” he said. The woman went out and invited the men in.
“We do not go into a House together,” they replied.
“Why is that?” she asked.
One of the old men said, “His name is Wealth,” pointing to one of his friends. He pointed to the other and said, ”He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”
The woman went in and told her husband what the man said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!”, he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”
But his wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion, “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”
“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.” The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, why are you coming in?”
The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the remaining two of us would have stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!”

Hi guy's,

Pls there's a friend of mine that needs a job badly
she's want to do her industrial attachment or if there's any other job.
she's an ND holder and studied banking and finance.

pls there is any one at all pls just mail me benjaminatobisan@yahoo.com

expectin ur response
thnx

may be u rush things
or may be u bold enough to talk to them

pardon my spelling I mean to say:

CAN YOU DATE OR GO OUT WITH A GIRL THAT IS EDUCATED THAN YOU ARE?

let's hear your response pls

thanks

iice i'm laughing my head off lol

okay then iice expectn yours

i'm kind of rewriting this: Educated than you are?

will go out with a girl who more educated than you are

so wat u got iice

CORPORATE LESSON #1:
_______________________________

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
Finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few
Seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the
Doorbell,

The wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel
And runs Downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, The next door Neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 Just to Drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for
A moment, The woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands Over $800 and Quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the Woman wraps Back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets
Back to The bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about The $800 He owes me?"
_______________________________
MORAL OF THE STORY:
______________________________

Share critical credit infrmation with your Stakeholders to
Prevent Avoidable exposure!

************************************************
_______________________________

CORPORATE LESSON # 2
_______________________________

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side Of the road, He stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly
Accepted. She Got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open And reveal a lovely Leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling The car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The Nun looked at Him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.

He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to Remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide Up her Leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" O nce again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but The mind is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful Glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the
Church, the Priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129.

It Said,"Go forth and seek; further up, you will find Glory."
_______________________________
MORAL OF THE STORY:
_______________________________

Always be well informed in your job; or, you might Miss great Opportunities!

************************************************
_______________________________
CORPORATE LESSON # 3
______________________________

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they
Rubbed the Bottle, a genie appears.

Thankful that the 4 guys had Released him Out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 Swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards The pool and jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to Become, then
Your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and Shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a
Pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from The pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and Shouted, "VODKA" And immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so Contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the Pool when Suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards
The pool And shouted, "SHIT !!!!!!!, "
_______________________________
MORAL OF THE STORY:
_______________________________

Mind your language, you never Know what it will land You in.

************************************************
_______________________________
CORPORATE LESSON # 4
_______________________________

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when He found The CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece
Of paper In his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important Document and my secretary has left. Can you make this Thing Work?"
"Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned The machine On, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
Disappeared inside The machine."I just need one copy."
_______________________________
MORAL OF THE STORY:
_______________________________

Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything

Know your crew:

Check this, A Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river". And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river". And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river". Again the congregation cried, "Amen!" The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up & said: "For our closing hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our hymn book and sing, 'We shall drink from that river'". The congregation screamed: Halleluiah

Pontential and Reality

Youngest son asked his father: "Daddy what is d difference btw "potential" and "reality"? Dad: I will show u. Dad turned to his wife and ask her: "Would u sleep wit Tom Cruise for 1 Million Dollars? Wife answers: "Yes of Course! I would never waste such an opportunity to be a millionaire" The Dad asked his daughter if she would sleep wit Will Smith for 2 million dollars? Daughter:” Wow! Yes! I will that's my fantasy" So Dad turned to his elder son and asks him: Son, will u sleep wit Denzel Washington for 1 Million dollars? Elder Son replied: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do wit 1 Million dollars, I would never hesitate!” So d Father turns to his younger son and said: "you see son, "POTENTIALLY" we are sitting on 4 Million But in” REALITY" we are living with two ‘prostitutes’ and one gay!

Wale,

I served in Anambra state as a batch A 2004 corp member. When you get to Onitsha alight at upper Iweka Road, then ask for Umunya park. Pls be informed that the place is very close to onitsha, it used to be N50 but may be maximum of N100 now. Dont allow those INA TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF U COS I CAN SEE U ARE VERY ANXIOUS. I remember then they told some pple that the place was very far and that they cannot even get direct vehicle, hence they charged them N2,000 each (about 4 corps members).

Lucky u ,some pple will be coming to welcome yo and give u direction, so just be watchful ,u will definately see corps members in their kit.
unclebee07@yahoo.com