₦airaland Forum

brandsoncharlie:
So your motive in a relationship is to spend on a lady. . Men dey oh.

It is why I laugh at Nigerian men when they use that line.

You cant use money to win any woman. I know this because I saw someone burn through millions and the babe still cheated on him with poorer dude.

If you use money to start a relationship with a Nigerian girl, she will see you as weak and as someone that she can take advantage of.

brandsoncharlie:
Op you're not at fault but from what I can deduce from this your typing is that you opened yourself to these ladies, though I don't know the depth of certain conversations you had with them on phone calls.
Remain mysterious to people, that way they will be confuse and they will try to unravel the kind of person you are.
Just be plane to them and make them to hear what they want but don't be detailed about your personality.

This is true. I am too free but I am learning to change that.

Aaaaarghmed:
From experience..most pretty Naija ladies want you to worship them. They are no even good communicator and expect you to always bring topic, they want a man with good sense of humor but they are sadists. ive met ladies from Zambia,Botswana and some Afrincan countries and it was really fun talking and dating them. Their Beauty and level of intelligence is top notch. If I japa..I will not touch A Naija lady with a 20feet pole. The want to feel in charge always.Am too stubborn for them.lol

most pretty Naija ladies want you to worship them -- very correct. That is because Nigerian men have spoilt them so much. It is also why when they leave for US, UK or Canada, they get shocked that they can't find men to talk to them cos men in those place no send women much.

They are no even good communicator and expect you to always bring topic -- very correct

ive met ladies from Zambia,Botswana and some Afrincan countries and it was really fun talking -- very correct. I once met a South African here and damn, she was so lively. Nigerian girls will be clumsily replying you.

Parizz:
you are a pathological simp

He is married oo.. Na my big bros. he does not yet know the person behind this handle.

Thattallgirl:
I wasn't talking about them. If you meet someone new whether online or in person, and you guys begin chatting and flowing and all that, what's usually the next thing that comes to your mind to ask her?

It depends on my motive for getting close to them... I have those whom I just want to be friends with and I have those whom I would want to date. It is not all I want to date.

But if she is good on rapport levels and I feel she is a good communicator, very direct and open, I might try. I am someone who loves good communication and maintaining a good energy balance.

I do not like unnecessary "forming" like the lady who chose to lie over a simple thing that she does not have airtime to reply. And if she says NO, I walk away.

So why did you ask this specifically? Is there something you are trying to find out?

Yoighaman:
Most ladies don't like nice or kind guys, they think they do, but the opposite is the case.

They also like money, no matter how decent a lady is, she will be tempted to 'play with fire' once you have money and might eventually get burnt in the process. I think one or two of them sized you up and felt you might not have the kind of money they expect (which might not be true). If you own a Range Rover and Bentley and also live in Parkview, Ikoyi, the stories will be different.

I actually like your style anyway, very decisive. If not for anything, it would command respect.

Cheers bro.

Thanks. I appreciate this.

qtguru:
Pele o, continue the disparaging discourse about women. 20 topics about women on NL everyday, haba talk on weed too nau lol

sadly, I do not smoke weed or drink alcohol.

wirinet:
There is a saying that if every one you meet seems mad, it's time to start examining your sanity. You might be the one making poor judgement.

Kindness does not necessarily give you the girl of your requirements. What can get you any girl of your dreams I to find the needs of the woman and fill them or at least promise or attempt to fill them.


If you don't ask them out then, what do you actually want from them. After a certain age girls don't like guys who just come to waste their time.

see my big bros oooo.. good morning sir. And thanks for your input. I will take them seriously.

Saintmary:
If you're being a gentleman, and she's not returning same vibes, please walk away immediately



Don't put your gold in the snout of a pig.



Gentlemen are becoming rare nowadays, so please be yourself and save your personality for a woman who deserves you.




Among men, there are good men, and bad too, likewise, among women, there are good women and bad women too



Your job is to filter and find the good woman for yourself.



Believe me, one smart good girl will meet you and hold you fast, so don't miss out on such a beautiful possibility because of fine face, ass, and booty.



Good luck.

Glad you get it now. That is why I walked away and not force it.

HantaVirus:
Only fools and low esteemed fougaisies like the OP run after nigerian women

If you're up to standard and you know your worth,women will worship you everywhere.....I have women messaging me on IG & Snap and I ignore them cos you can't see me on this social networks and not trip....

I can't count the number of women I've ignored in my daily life....Some are hoes in disguise while some are decent working class women.

The last time I wooed a nigerian woman was 2009

Yeah, I get this one too. Will work towards it.

Parizz:
do you approve approaching random girls on the street and asking for number. I'm a man

IT IS best to get do that but be smart about how you go about it. If you are shy or lack confidence with approaching women, use this youtube link to help https://www.youtube.com/c/socialanimal

ArcFresky:
OP doesnt have a car or use an Iphone with 3 cameras .

My ugly friend dey yansh lecturer, bankers, anything with skirt since he bought his range rover.

My iphone is a brand new one. A replacement for the one stolen this year. I do not buy second-hand gadgets either.

Also, I was certain years old when someone lost over 50 million in today's currency because he wants to keep a girl. Never use money to get women, except your goal is to furk and move on.

toxtimmy:
Glad you know what you want but sad that you don't know how to go get what you want.

Relationships or marriage is not a child game.... So if you decide to move on with a woman and she fart 1 month later and it's a stinky fart...what will you do?

What about if she shit and the shit dey smell well well .. what will you do?

What about when she take off her wig?

Dude stop boiling the ocean... Just imagine when you find that woman and she sees your post on here and says what is this guy...a child or children that will go on nairaland to talk about her...face palm

Sorry but the thread is about basic human decency and basic human interactions. These girls lacked it. They lack courtesy and that is why I pulled out.

I am aware that nobody is perfect and I can manage some things but what I can't stand is when an adult lack basic human decency...

2Radii:
That kobojunkie of a woman is a damaged feminist, u dont need to reply her.


Even as cool as ur story sounded, if u had talk that one of the ladies physically attacked u and gave u a deep cut without you touching her, she would claim u were at fault that why would you greet her, that it was the greetings that infuriated her to cut u cutlass.

na woman? I thought it was a man ooo... if i knew i for no waste my time.

Yoighaman:
Nice write-up and I quite agree with you, but have you taken a step back to see if there is actually something about you that also turned them off? 1, 2, 3 ladies might not be wrong afterall, just saying.

My male friends do not see anything wrong with me... so why should I bother about a gender that makes poor judgment?

I am one of the kindest people you will ever come across, a flaw if not properly managed.

Also, the summary of my thread is about basic human decency... They lack it. WE ARE NOT EVEN TALKING about relationship or dating now because I discarded these girls in the "lets get to know each other" phase. I have not asked them out.

TheVictorious:
How can't most of you replying to this thread see that the issues that the writer is talking about border on basic decency? I mean "basic human decency"... or how did we lose it as a society?

God... I am shocked that a lot of them couldn't see it. We are doomed as society with people like these.

God bless you so much. iF you do not mind, let send you weekend beer money. I do not drink though.

Thattallgirl:
Hi I wanna ask a question. When you meet a girl online and you start chatting with her and your conversation probably flows, is the next thing on your mind "let us date"?

nope... I didn't ask any of them out. I was just getting to know them...

qtguru:
I can't imagine waking up to be creating topics about women daily. maybe drugs sha but not women

But you can read those created by others and learn from them? If everyone was like you, Nairaland would be dead.


Nairaland is alive because people share knowledge and information to help other people.

Geovanni412:
Hmm, calm down. The third lady did nothing wrong. Everybody seeks out people for a purpose - love, friendship or business. She sought you out for business - your job was to convert her into a paying client or refer her to someone else.
Op, the first lady , na you cause the issue. She had already friendzoned you teh teh. You waited one full year to ask for phone number of a girl, na Dangote daughter she be, haba!

LOL... and you think she does not have over 10 guys in her DM? So why do you think I should make effort beyond what I have done? I would rather try harder with a girl offline than a girl I met online.

Also, read where i said it was on and off thing. That 1 year na just 4 times we chat.

afadi2410:
But ops,I see no problems with these girls, check yourself bro

Take my advise: Never force yourself on any girl that isn't showing any sign of making effort. I have been through that road before and so if I have chosen to run away at the slightest revelation, it is for my own good. I do not have energy to persuade a girl anymore. None... nothing.

Maobichek:
The first lady, you were with her on twitter for over one year just chatting with her and after a "whole" one year (as you said) you decide to get serious with her.

Please stop wasting your time because genuine/committed ladies are always sensitive but will expect you to do the needful, that's all for now.

chatting in that context does not mean I was chatting with her every month. It was like 4 times in that one year to be honest because I was particularly not predisposed to chasing women online.

Me asking for her number was more like : "Hey, you how about you get to know this lady more" What made me pull back was that tweet where she talked about how she perceives people's calls. That is not a good in my own book.

Ok12345:
U chatted a girl for 1yrs b4 telling her your intentions

She Don friend zone you

lol bros, I talk to men more on Twitter than girls. And the chat with this particular girl was like 4 times in that 1 year lol. i do not really chase girls online like that.

SenecaTheYonger:
You left lady 3 because of monosyllabic response? That’s dumb. If your conversation in real life flowed well, you should stop talking with her much on text and arrange more meet ups. Some girls are lively in person than on chat. And I’ve met some that are very lively in chat but in real life they’re dull and always focused on their phones

Yeah, she does agree to meet up another time before I bolted. I just find that mode of replies to be somewhat uninterested. So are you suggesting I give it more effort?

Saintmary:
If he now marries a woman with low self esteem now, he'll come back to Nairaland to complain about how she can't be ambitious.


Thank God for this anonymous forum though, it makes it easier to see the true heart of these people.

Well, I am not like that dude. The only reason I walked away is that I am of the opinion that when someone is being a gentleman and decent in their rapport with you, courtesy demand you return the same.

It is just basic logic.

Octopusssy:
Oga, leave story. The third girl is not into you. I think they are all not into you. You are the problem not them. You can't force attraction

I am not the problem... I am an upright decent guy that you can meet anywhere. I know it is best to leave such girls alone when they start this.

And oh, there is a 5th one who has been decent and willing. If So if I meet 5 and walk away from 4, that should tell you something.

Also, I have not asked any of them out... we were just getting to know each other.

olabrinks:
The first girl could’ve just been an introvert. Maybe she doesn’t like phone calls or texts and unnecessary small talk. It’s very draining to some people.

I am an introvert myself. That is not an excuse to make it look like you are doing people a favour by answering their calls.

She is also seems like someone that is unstable cos she complained about not receiving calls for some weeks lol. How can you say u dont like receiving calls and not be happy when you do not receive them? that is childish.

lomprico:
But you have pride sha!

Omo, I need to have at this stage ooo. My eyes have seen shege and that is because I overlooked something like these in the past. If you overlook certain things in girls, they will do more. It is best she you do not give more ground. If it starts from the first week, it will continue.

chariisGRACE:
The first lady's 'attitude' is not a thing of pride. She's probably an introvert, just like me.

I hate answering calls, infact, I hate chatting with people generally. I will boil with anger if you hold down to a conversation.

As for the other two, na ewedu dey worry them.

Well, I am an introvert too. And I do answer calls and chat with people. There is something called courtesy.

Antoeni:
You can’t Walk Away from this One

That thing na turn off to me... anything excess in a girl... I do not want.

FuckTheMod:
From your write-up, I could deduce that you don't drive or own a car, and that's one of the first thing that matters to an average Nigerian girl.
You even get mind dey approach girls from Twitter... Most girls that her active on those advance social media are mostly runs girls, very rude and very wayward.

If I need a car to get a girl, maybe I shouldn't go near any girl at all?

akwesenana:
Why do y'all pay this much attention to relationship shit and all?
For ffucks sake, focus on yourself, go to work, come back watch soccer or hangout with responsible guys then come home smoke a joint or two

Been doing that since the beginning of the year and I have been heavily rewarded.

Mercury12:
Some people don't like calls and chat especially if it coming from people they not very close to.
You could had at least get a date for a face to face type of conversation. Multiple time out together in real world. That is how you know people ...
But if she is not returning your calls or agree on a date with you then I guess its safe to say she ain't really into you and it is also okay for you to move on to the next

Thanks.