₦airaland Forum

BluntCrazeMan:
You misunderstood me yet again.

Bye for now shaa.

Have a nice day.


(I nearly responded you with “Kk” after reading this long epistle,, but I just needed to let you know that you're just going off-point again.)

It is fine...

BluntCrazeMan:
Go back and read my first comment to your first story.

You really never intended to date those three ladies.

This thing you complained here was well treated inside my comment.


Stop dibby-dallying

Lol... Maybe you are the kind that enters a house that you were not invited to. Just know that some of us do not go where we are not invited.

They were not receptive enough and you expect me to move to the next stage of proposing a relationship? Do you even know I have been through this kind of thing before, ignored the signs, and forced my way? do you know who ended up being hurt? why are you Nigerian guys like this?

I have been through something like that 3rd lady before where they replied with one-liners and for your information, it didn't end well.

STOP FORCING YOURSELF when a girl is not showing any sign of interest. Stop persuading them... stop trying to convince them...

And to even disappoint you, I met another one whom I have been interacting with but intentionally left that information out. She was receptive, cool, open, friendly. I met her, like the lady2 , in church. We spent some time together inside the church last Sunday while we waited for her mum to be through with a meeting. I attended the biggest church in Nigeria and that means I have access to as many pretty ladies as possible. I will only move a lady that is receptive...

If I made move on 4 ladies and discarded 3, but moved on with one, it should teach you and any sane lady something.

I just look at some of the comments on this thread and shook my head. Why? Many of you men who think I am the problem are the REAL cause of Nigerian women's attitudes. You are the ones spoiling them because you give them the ground to behave like the girls highlighted in the original thread. In a place like UK, US, Canada, you will beg to have someone open their mouth to approach you. This is why Nigerian women are shocked that men, when the move abroad, do not pamper them the way we do in Nigeria. Who has that time? It is also the reason why foreign women value Nigerian men more than their own men because Nigerian men naturally pamper women and their men do not treat women like egg the way Nigeria men do. Our society is a mess.

When a woman is not receptive of you, BOUNCE! no pleading, no cajoling, no coercing... move the furk on! Stop making them feel bigger than they are.

BluntCrazeMan:
The good one you met, you still didn't keep her.
You still lost her handle.


What exactly was I trying to tell you in the first place?

OGA GO AND WORK ON YOURSELF...


To even think of it,, you're here generalising Nigerian women, and comparing them to one south-african lady.

Yet, you still need to work on yourself

lmaoo.. cos u automatically assume that I dated her or intended to date her. Don't you have female friends?

The South African lady will easily win any gentleman over because she is open, very direct, and very communicative, no "forming"... which is something a lot of Nigerian girls lack. Go through the comment of Nigerian guys that have experienced foreigners, including other African ladies, they have this same experience.

Also, a bunch of you who respond to this thread lack comprehension which is why you guys missed the core theme of the thread. You guys also love being disrespected and that is why you think everyone should do the same!

NigeriaIsGreat:
Lol

Tinubu will lord over your kindred next year

Take this to the bank

It won't happen. You can take this to the bank... he will struggle even in South West.

lookingfly:
there is this one that gives me the monosyllabic treatment now on Whatsapp, but guess what? If I say I want to send her money, omoh.......she replies with alacrity and lengthy message. I will be like . Last time i sent her money, she didn't acknowledge she has gotten it and i had to ask before she appreciated it which means she really didn't appreciate the money. Just some few days back, after a long monosyllabic response, I told her it's a thing with me doing things for people during this period that what would she want me to do especially if it's within my powers, omoh.....I yet got another alacrity message again . She brought up the send me money slang again or I should buy her hair........she say make i buy her Brazilian hair or human hair......na there I just I replied with 'eleyi gidi gan" , she only read and didn't reply since then. I would have sent her something good even if it is not up to that amount for the hair, but my earlier experience of ingratitude actually held my hands tight from sending her anything. Only if she knows the plans I have for her. But, maybe she has a better plan for herself.

Now, you see it? Nigeria women are just that... everything is transactional.

Also, Nigerian men are the ones spoiling Nigerian women and they will in turn complain.

One thing I am learning to do is complain less. If you talk too much, they will say you are nagging.

You can't fix this mess... it is best you avoid it once you see such things.

Have an abundant mentality. There are so many women out there. Move on fast to the next one.

BluntCrazeMan:
You were the one who didn't connect well with them.


You usually turn of the light at the slightest dint.

You don't even care for a relationship.
You sounded that you needed more of friendship from then than a relationship

many of you are the reason why Nigeria women are the way they are and yet you complain.

I have met South African girl on this same nairaland. She is by far better than alll 3 of these girls combined. I wish I can remember her handle.

hifocus:
Again, the problem aren’t the girls but the kind of girls you choose to approach.

Any man who believes this will suffer. It is not the kind of girls I meet because even the most decent one can disrespect a man. Every woman has that trait, that tendency to behave like that by default. It just depends on whether the man in the equation gives ground for it or not.

The reason why some men always advise that you shouldn't pressure a woman once she says NO but walk away is not that they do not have the patience or will. It is because they have come to the realization that two things are likely to happen if you pressure a woman:

1. She will disrespect you or insult you.

2. She will find a way to manipulate you or exploit you.

As a man, your job is to never let that happen to you. Walk away for your own good.

Evolutionlove:
Ahh eeyah. Apologies my brother.

Nigeria don Cast Tey Tey.

Some of Us are only getting along with God's grace. I'm financially okay but the problem Is

"Genuine Feelings, Contentment, Sane People, Good Morality & Humanity" are things of the past now In Nigeria.

You will be lucky to meet very few people with these qualities I listed.

I can't wait to move out as well..

You have said it all... People carry this frustration around.

NigeriaIsGreat:
Lol

Na next year election go make you and your kindred dey respect Tinubu

February no far again

My joy is that Buhari affected everybody even know many of una dey come online dey form voltron... it will be the same with Tinubu but I am grateful that it won't happen.

As matter of fact, this election is between Obi and Atiku.

hifocus:
I was looking for a comment like this. The first lady wasn’t meant to be discarded. bestdudes is immature or suffering from past trauma.

I am not immature but the ladies are.

Yes, past experience it is. I have been disrespected, I have been insulted, I have been ridiculed... why? Because I am just a guy who loves to treat people with respect, decorum, and decency.

If I should go by my experience, there won't be a need for me to get married but I am still putting myself out there and working, changing, and adjusting, I am not even using my past to paint these girls bad otherwise, I wouldn't make move on them.

What I will no longer tolerate is giving ground for any girl to disrespect me. It is why I discarded all 3 and I will keep doing that until I see someone who has the sense to treat everybody that crosses their path with some level of decency. If they were doing that because of defense, does it mean I who is free don't care about my security or I haven't had a nasty experience before?

I can beat my chest that I have ended 3 relationships without having sex with the exes but I ended this because they were airheads and disrespectful. Sex doesn't count for me.

Nigerian women have been spoilt by Nigerian men and that is why we have so many girls with the problem highlighted in this thread.

I have a history of a girl who saw me as nothing but someone that can be exploited. Why? I was only being a gentleman who developed an interest in her.

She even said with her mouth that if she wanted to bill me, she will bill me. The audacity!

A few weeks ago, a day after her birthday, she buzzed me to remind me about her birthday.

Why would you remind me of something that was already late? Of course, she did it so I will send something because for her to have said "if I want to bill you, I will bill you" a year ago, it means she thought I have lost myself and she can manipulate me. That is the major reason why she buzzed me to remind me of her birthday that had past.

How did I respond? I wished her a happy birthday and made her realize I have forgotten the date, unlike the previous year, when I remembered and wished her happy birthday. I also told her I just went to drop some items at an orphanage home as a gift and that was it. 1 KOBO, I didn't send, neither did I ask for her bank details and that was our last conversation till today. I deleted that chat afterward.

We cannot continue to have a society where women behave like this and you expect me to continue to be who I used to be. What the hell!

MansoryMX:
I have been in your shoes so many times. As a matter of fact the woman I got married to today isn’t who I planned on marrying. I actually toasted her friend who I met in a party. A wild but free spirited girl who like flirting and one night stands but have a good heart (thank God I didn’t even kiss her or flirt with her in the two weeks I knew her). She then invited me to accompany her to a friend’s birthday party (who happens to be my wife now lol). Just by saying Hello to someone, you can tell a lot about a person with the next response that comes out of their mouth when you say hello to them. Just a simple hello and happy birthday to you I said, the rest was history. The attention, the humility in her voice, the laughter and smile was everything I desire in a woman. After 2 year of an amazing courtship, I put a ring on that finger.


Some of these ladies, especially this generation are online celebrities, they have absolutely nothing except an expensive phone and expensive human hairs, forgetting every touch of reality. Some realize they are pretty and feels they won’t settle for less unlike a man must be Davido, Wizkid standard in terms of lifestyle and money. A lot of them don’t believe in working on a relationship, growing a relationship for themselves. A lot of them only wants a man who will take care of their financial needs and that of their family as well. Some started with the wrong guy and feels love is a scam. Some are completely fvcked up! Like seriously fvcked up with absolutely nothing to write home about.

This is what I am actually looking for. Not someone who would frown just because you show interest in them.

It means the woman you married is a good person at heart. She is friendly and polite. You can’t give what you don’t have.

If you are good to people , it always show generally.

I was sleeping one day in school when some people came to look for something in my school. I woke up and helped them because they needed help. Do you know what one of them said? He said wow that he is surprised that even though they inconvenient me, they can’t believe how I changed and took them around as if I have known them for long.

That something. You can’t give what you don’t have.

TheVictorious:
I received it, you're such an amazing person. Thanks a lot.

you are welcome

Odebayo4010:
Bro,am new to online marketing, I don't know the one suitable, please can you list them for me to choose?

Omo, do you research and ask questions

But what I do these days is refer people to Skillshare.com where you can pay just $24 per year and learn any course you want. it makes it easy. When I started, there were no resources like this.

Tbaba001:
Oga shut your damn mouth... I myself have interracted with ladies and most of them have similar attitude as the OP describe, this has nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with most females not being able to communicate

don't mind them...

ibinaboonline:
Interestingly, the OP never stopped to consider if said ladies even wanted to be with him. LOL

I have ignored a lot of people who use this line... The problem with many of you is that you will tolerate some rubbish and lose yourself in the process because you want to date a girl. If a girl can't be decent enough in her rapport with you, and you go on to force it, whatever you see, take it like that.

That you decide to interact with a girl does not mean she is better than you or warrant the subtle condescending attitute.

Evolutionlove:
This OP don suffer lol

Someone up there even said they are not all Into OP. Chaiiii what a Thunderous Slap On OP's face

Until most men extract themselves from the MATRIX, Become Masculine, Learn to Ignore the Female Gender, Act like they are normal human being when you see/meet them, Be very disciplined when It come to Sex by Rejecting Sex sometimes and always give them their own dose of medicine.

Until then "Most Men" would continue to be "SLAVES & Disposable Trash" to the Female Gender and the LAMENTATIONS will contine forever. The Men Most Women Respect, Love and Want are not up to 30% of World's Men Population. This Is the absolute truth.

You can Argue with your phones..

I say make I run leave the girls and them still dey blame me on top.

Peero1:
This I had experience many times and I have come to the conclusion that very many of those single ladies that are desperately looking for whom to marry has in one way or the other missed their golden opportunity to meet their man. Up till now even the younger girls are still exhibiting this same character. Tomorrow they will now be running from one mountain to another for life partner.

it is tiring.

SenecaTheYonger:
Okay. Keep looking for texting relationship

Thattallgirl:
I know. I wasn't against you ignoring those three. That's why I said it's obvious they're not interested in any form of communication with you.



Cool. I was only telling you not all ladies who do not say yes to date a guy who showed interest is forming. I'm not talking about you rating virginity. I'm saying it's one of the many reasons some ladies decide to hold on before saying yes to any guy who probably in the next 5 years may not want to marry, and with no guarantee that they'll end up together. Every lady with her own reasons on why she wants friendship first but some guys are not patient enough to see if she's gonna be worth it after all. (again I'm not talking about the three ladies)

I get. I like good communication too but I can't force anyone to also have basic human decency. If they don't, that's fine. It's up to me to leave or stay and give the person the benefit of the doubt.


I wasn't talking about those three girls. I only mentioned them when I said they weren't interested. I'm talking about someone new that you guys are chatting and all that. I'm not saying you should be friends with someone who isn't even ready to have a conversation with you.

Thank you.

Ogaonos:
i read thru ur write up.no b only u such as happen to.the truth is the1st girl is d i jux want to enter social platform because am bored.a guy wrote a thread about it on nairaland they are time wasters.
2nd lady is d normal money cautions lady which is common in ladies of nwadays which is caused by yahoo bois excessive expensive .
3rd lady is nt intrested maybe she has a bf or ecpnomic situation has make her focus on making money.
NUTSHELL IS NIGERIAN LADIES DNT KNW HW TO CHAT ND HAVE LOW SENSE OF HUMOR.COMPARE TO WHITES OR NIGERIAN BAE WHERE JAKPA GO ABOARD ND CHANGE HER NIGERIA LADY MENTALITY.

You summed it up perfectedly, It is why I let the first one go because I know she has many dudes on queue.

yeah, that second one is money driven and I didnt even waste time. the 3rd one is weird....

wirinet:
Gbam!
Guy is no player. Players don't give up on flimsy excuses. So he expect the babe (a Nigerian babe for that matter) to agree just like that? That may be how other babes roll, but not 9ja babes. Nigerian babes that's not a runs babe expect you to work hard before agreeing to date you (even if she has a crush on you)

In the write up, the OP did not state what exactly he wanted - sex, love, friendship, social media friend? He expects the girls to read his mind.

lol boss, na cos I know u for long sha... but you do not force things with women. Let the ones who return your energy be kept and let the others go. It saves everyone time.

SIRTee15:
I don't think u really have a good understanding of women. That's the main problem I see.
Except u be star like davido or your wallet is heavy like E-money. No naija girl will fall for you in an instant, u need to put an effort.
Your case may be easier if u be correct handsome bobo or if u can engage girls in conversation and make them laff efortlessly.
From your post it's obvious u don't have any of the above qualities, that automatically makes you an average Joe. In that case, hit and miss will be your relationship history. Nothing to be ashamed of, majority of men falls into same category.
Forget what so call red pillers will come here to brag and teach about. That school is different from reality on the street.
As some already said, u need patience and wisdom to navigate the complexity of a woman's heart without losing yourself.
Let women know your intention but do not ask them out immediately unless you sure she's into u.
Girls know when a guy is interested in them and will react accordingly. If they give u an outright cold shoulder, drop it and move on. If their face shout YES, then go for it if u like what u see.
However, for your likes most women will take a cool and cautious approach. It means u are one of the many men approaching her, u not top spot but maybe u got potential she's considering. That's the simple truth. The way u play your game and her circumstances will determine her reaction.

You have a point to some extent and I am not even talking about being perfect. I am talking about basic human decency which seems to be lacking in these girls.

Let's forget about relationship or whatever.

Thattallgirl:
Okay. Yea there is. Although it is obvious the ladies you mentioned aren't interested in you, not every lady "forms" when they want friendship before any relationship

Even if you are not interested in a person, is that a reason to lack basic human decency?

I may be wrong but if some men are of the opinion that they want someone who hasn't had body counts before, then they shouldn't expect ladies to just jump into a relationship without getting to be friends first because the truth is that, unless a man is actually ready (within a year) to marry, it's hard to find men who will date a lady without having sex. I dunno if you understand

I have ended up 3 relationships without sex. You can't even tie me down with sex cos I do not bond with women via sex. It is not about sex for me. It is how you engage me, how you communicate and you reciprocate. I do not even belong to guys who rate this virginity and that is because of my experience, Being a virgin does not mean you are a good person,

Some will want to test the product before buying it. What now happens if they aren't compatible sexually? Shey that's how the lady will be jumping from one guy to another to find her match?

I get but at least, maintain some good rapport with whomever you are interacting with, especially when they have not talked about sex or dating you but trying to know you on basic levels. There is something called courtesy, Maintain it. It does not cause a dime.

In conclusion lol, what I'm saying is that friendship is the basis of every relationship. When love fades, friendship still stands. It doesn't mean you'll be friends for years or something before dating. It just in a way, helps you understand the person better than when you're dating and you're both putting your best foot forward and trying to hide your flaws. Again, I may be wrong lol.

How can you be friends with people who have the kind of character that I described? For instance, I wanted a situation whereby I and the 3rd girl, cos she is my location, can visit places together, and have some interactions like friends would, which is something I have even told her and the best she can do to engage in with one-liners. Mind you I didn't ever mention she should visit my house, that is left to her. She is not ready.

Ogaonos:
hw old are dis lady .am sure they around 24 yrs below.

They are likely above 24.

EdiskyHarry:
Well my biggest problem now is how to expand my business

lol...I used to be like you who think money and business is the koko... if you dont learn how women operate, you will suffer for it. Money is not everything... I dey hustle like mad...

Cheeryfeet:
The first two I could understand, but the third, I don't get, in the first engagement you said the girl was boring, you did most of the talking, now on the third, you have someone that was eager to discuss a very voluminous and broad topic that you could use to actively engage her non stop for the next six months, but all you are after is letting her know you are attracted to her, that was too sudden no wonder she came up with one liners. Cultivate friendship bro, you had better chance with the last unless it's kpekus you wanted.

Well, it not kpekus I am after... I even made it known that we can hang out and visit places together.

I am just being too overprotective cos a lot of Nigerian girls have a way they behave and I do not want to bring any kind of disrespect to my person or a case where it look like I am forcing myself on someone.

fineboynl:
bro to be sincere with. This Sunday dress neat and go to any big and popular club. Trust me you will see a number of girls popping at you. Provided you are ready to dance and have fun.

Chasing a Nigerian girls doesn’t worth it. 90% of guys dating Nigerian girl’s they all come to the guy themselves. If Nigerian girl doesn’t like you naturally at first you will suffer emotional pains even if you eventually date her. Most guys you see have been dating their girl for years and they have come along way to tolerate one another.

I prefer it when a woman come to me herself you will have little stress to contend but the only problem you will not like them. And this will make you to be doing them anyhow you like.

You see those onces with big ass and high glass they have alot of mumu men that is fueling them with attention and money.

Neat time go to club you will see a woman. For now just forget decent place. They stress you.

Hmmm... Thank you.

Odebayo4010:
I would like to know about digital marketing,can you teach me?

It is quite a large field bro. what area are you interested in?

TheVictorious:
I do not mind at all bro

please follow back so that I can send custom message.

Basalt:
I think I am going to adopt this method. I was chatting with a very pretty girl I met on Facebook and somehow got attracted to her. We moved from Facebook to Whatsapp, then she told me of her birthday coming up and complained earlier that her phone was very bad and she might take it to the repairer and might not pick my calls incase she was not with the phone. I was planning on how to surprise her with a brand new samsung phone on her birthday (she uses Techno and it hangs alot).
Then few days to the birthday, I saw her upload a handsome guy on her status and wished him happy birthday with kisses and love emoji (something she never used for me), I jokinly asked her if the guy is her boyfriend and she said YES.
I started withdrawing myself and the communication died off. That was how I wasted my time for 6 months.
I need to start being direct and more straightforward about my intentions.
Honestly, I fell in love with this girl and even planning of marrying her not knowing that she has a boyfriend.

You missed a rather important lesson but you were lucky she slipped and you found out.

All those complaints was a decoy to use you because she has seen you like her. Girls are very manipulative when they sense you are liking them so much, even if you meant well.

Let me give you an example. I used to have this girl that I was liking but didn't go as i would like it so I freed her.

after some months, I said let me just check on this babe and play along. So I did as though I am still interested... she was just being indifferent.

Her birthday came and I didn't even remember because she is no longer of interest to me as I had erased much of the excitement. She is aware that I wished her happy birthday the last time without her reminding me..

Now in this case, I had forgotten and the birthday had passed 1 day. Do you know what this girl did? She decided to buzz me to remind me of her birthday. I mean, it is past. Why remind me about it?

The reason she brought it up is that I would send her something and I made it known that I was coming from an Orphanage home where I went to drop some items for them. I just gave her the "Happy Birthday" that she asked for and let it end there. I am sure she was disappointed, unlike the dude she used to know.

TheVictorious:
I do not mind at all bro

how do we do it? if you don't mind, can you drop your aza here or your phone number let me text you? I almost missed the mention.