₦airaland Forum

At last Yabatech have past there admission list. so you can go to the school now and check your name.

K-"Who's calling?"
W-"Watt."
K-"What is your name, please?"
W-"Watt's my name."
K-"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
W-"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."

     A long pause, and then from Watt,

W-"Is this James Brown?"
K-"No, this is Knott."
W-"Please tell me your name."
K-"Will Knott."

W-Why not?
K-Huh?  What do you mean why not?
W-Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?
K-But I told you my name!
W-Didn't you say you will not?
K-Not not, knott, Will Knott!
W-That's what I mean.
K-So you know my name.
W-Of course not!
K-Good.  So now, what is yours?
W-Watt. Yours?
K-Your name!
W-Watt's my name.
K-How the hell do I know?  I am asking you!
W-Look I have been very patient and I have told you my
    name and you have not even told me yours yet.
K-You have been patient, what about me?  I have told
    you my name so many times and it is you who have not
    told me yours yet.
W-Of course not!
K-See, you even know my name!
W-Of course not!
K-Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?
W-Because I don't.

[Pause]

K-What is your name?
W-See, you know my name!
K-Of course not!
W-Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?
K-To find out your name!
W-But you already know it!
K-What?
W-See, and you know mine!
K-Of course not!
W-Exactly!

K-Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name
    is, what will be your answer?
W-Watt's my name.
K-No, no, give me only one word.
W-Watt
K-Your name!
W-Right!

[pause before it hits him]

K-Oh, Wright!
W-Yeah!
K-So why didn't you say it before?
W-I told you so many times!
K-You never said Wright before
W-Of course I did.
K-Ok I won't argue any more.  Do you know my name?
W-I do not.
K-Well, there you go, now we know each other's name.
W-I do not!
K-Good!

[pause before it hits him]

W-Oh, Guud!
K-Good.
W-No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?
K-No, it's Knott!
W-Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud.
K-Yes Wright.

please is there anyone that know about Yaba Tech Post jamb, i mean there post PCE.
please is there form out.
Pls if there is anybody that know any unversity in Lagos that is selling Part Term form, Pls do not esitate to tell me.

@lucabrasi

I am not saying he is sponsoring my school, I only said he does not want me to go to school. And even if he have the money to sponsor me, I will never allow him because he is too proud for my likeness.

@ all
Thanks so much, I am really grateful. And to the people who insult me thanks and May God forgive u.

@hollandis

what do u mean, u have no right to insult me, all i need is ur advise and if u cannot, just shut ur dirty mouth because i didnt come hear for ur insult.

May God forgive u

i ve a boyfriend that we have been dating for 6 years, but that six years is like hell to me, because he does'n trust me, and he is always complaining about what i do, he does not like it when i make up and he complain of whta i wear.

He is so selfish that even when i told him that i want to further my education, he is complaining, he prefer to do the thing that will favour him and hurt me, but still claim that he love me and he want to marry me. he even said whether i like it or not he is going to marry me. although i did not see him with any other girl, he said he is going crazy because of me.

Now i don't know what to do because he complain too much and i can stand him any longer, and the worst part is that he always said that if we get married, he did not think our married will last.

please help me out. what do i do.

Every Sunday 3 boys would go to church and
confess. So the first boy went up to the priest.
The priest says "What have you done bad in your
life son".

The boy responds with "I've swore to my mother."

The priest says" take one sip of holy water."

The second boys goes up to the priest and the
priest says, "What have you done bad in your
life son?"

The boy responds with "I've stolen something".

The priest says take two sips of holy water.
After every sip the third boy is laughing his
head off.

So the third boy goes up to the priest and the
priest says, "What have you done bad in your
life son"

The boy responds with, "I pissed in the holy
water."

@ All

once again THANKS, THANKS, THANKS A LOT

@all

Thank u very much for ur candid advice, may God bless u all. (Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen)

am really sorry my friend

i appreciate u alot, OMO IBO thanks very very much

@ All especially almondjoy, Blossom-ng and jkpretty I really thank u for ur advice
God bless u all.
luv u

@ almodjoy

thanks for your advice, sceening is post jamb, u know how education in nigeria is, after jamb u will do post jamb,

about my jamb my jamb result is very good but they said if i no get leg u know what i mean it will be very hard to enter school.

@ OMO IBO

I really appreciate u a lot, thank u very much for ur advice

@ Tattooboy
u don't have to insult me, i asked u for advice and if u can't, find something to do.

@ Gbemyte

I am 2* years

@almondjoy

i want to do jamb, i have been doing some which i make but the screening mess me up.

Its like u guys did not understand me, i said we have been dating for six years. but now i am proccessing my school (university) so i told him to wait for me for sometime atlease for me to get admission.

Hello

i need somebody to help, i have been dating a guy for about six years now and he want us to get married as soon as possible but i am told him that i am still proccess my school but its like he is getting tired, what do u think i can do.

pls help

To everybody in the house can u marry and illiterate if No WHY CANT U AND IF YES WHY

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that
most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,
and that this makes it very easy to blackmail
them by saying, "I know the whole truth".

The boy decides to go home and try it out. He
goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he
says, "I know the whole truth." His mother
quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell
your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to
get home from work, and greets him with, "I know
the whole truth." The father promptly hands him
$40 and says, "Please don't say aword to your
mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the
next day, when he sees the mailman at his front
door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens
his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER
a big hug.

Bill Clinton is in an elementary class and is
trying to teach the students what a tragedy is.

He asks if anyone knows. One kid stands up and
says, "I know. If I was in the street and got hit
by a car, that would be a tragedy."

Clinton says, "No son, that would be an
accident."

Another kid stands up and says, "I know. If we all
were on a field trip and the bus went flying over
a cliff, that would be a tragedy."

Again, Clinton says, "No son, that would be a
great loss."

The children are silent and then one kid stands
and says, "If you and Mrs. Clinton were on Air
Force One and it just all of a sudden blew up and
you both died, that would be a tragedy."

Clinton thinks and then asks, "Now why would you
think that is a tragedy?"

The kid replies, "Well, because it definately
wouldn't be an ACcident. and it sure as hell
wouldn't be a Great Loss!!!"

@knotty

This is not the right place for u why dont u go to NTA, or AIT , i thing tht will be the best place for u.

See the goat, Ur goat get HIV?

There's this guy who's in the market for a used
motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's
shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper,
and not having much luck. One day he comes across
a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign
on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the
bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with
the owner:

"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple.
Just make sure that if the bike is outside and
it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain. In fact, since
you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of
Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he
hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy
biker. He takes the bike over to show his
girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to
his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first
time he's going to meet them and figures it will
make a big impression. When the couple gets to
the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's
arm.

"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something
about my parents before we go in. When we eat
dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who
says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the
middle of the living room is a huge stack of
dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge
stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty
dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty
dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough,
no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to
take advantage of the situation. So he leans over
and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So
he decides to reach over and handle her breasts.
He looks at her parents, but still they keep
quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her
naked, and they make love right on the dinner
table. Still, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs
his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her
right there on the dinner table. Again, total
silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the
boyfriend realizes it's starting to rain. He
figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle,
so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts:
"All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country
road in her new sports car when something goes
wrong and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens
to be near a farmhouse.

She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the
door. When the farmer answers, she says to him,
"It's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't
know what to do! Can I stay here for the night
until tomorrow when I can get some help?"

"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but
I don't want you messing with my sons Jed and
Luke."

She looks through the screen door and sees two men
standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be
in the early twenties. "Okay," she says.

After they have gone to bed for the night the
woman begins to get a little Hot just thinking
about the two boys in the room next to her. So she
quietly goes into their room and says,

"Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the
ways of the world?"

They say, "Huh?"

She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get
pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers."

She puts them on the boys, and the three of them
go it all night long.

Forty years later, Jed and Luke are sitting on the
front porch, rocking back and forth.

Jed says, "You remember that blonde woman that
came by here about forty years ago and showed us
the ways of the world?"

"Yeah", says Luke, "I remember."

"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?"

"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."

"Me neither" says Jed, "Let's take these
things off!"

There was a fourth grade boy and a fourth grade
girl. The fourth grade boy came by the fourth
grade girl's house with a football and teased the
girl saying, "Ha Ha! You can't have a football
cause your a girl."
The girl goes to her mom crying so her mom buys
her a football. The boy got angry. So the next
day he comes by with a boys bike and teases her
saying, "Ha Ha! You can't have a boys bike cause
your a girl!"

So the girl goes crying to her mom and she gets
a boys bike. The boy gets very mad. So the next
day the boy comes by, pulls down his pants and
says, "I have one of these and you can't go
crying to your mom to get one!!!"

She goes crying to her mom and then the girl
comes out pulls up her dress and says, "My mom
said as long as I have one of these I can get
as many of those that I want!"

One day a duck walks into a bar and asks the
bartender "Do you got any grapes?"

The bartender says, "No we don't serve grapes
here."

So the duck leaves and returns the next day
and asks "Do you got any grapes?" The bartender
says "No we don't serve grapes here."

So the duck leaves and returns for the next
five days asking the same question.

The fifth day the bartender gets pissed and says,
"If ask for grapes one more time, I'm gonna nail
your dick to the floor!"

So the duck leaves and returns the next day and
asks "Got any hammers?"

"No." replies the bartender.

"Got any nails?" "No."

"Got any grapes?"

John and Jack were talking about the Christmas
gifts they were getting their wives. John said,
"I got Kathy a pair of slippers and a Love Machine."

"That’s a strange combination," said Jack.

"It’s a great combination," replied John, "if
she doesn’t like the slippers, she can go Bleep
herself."

A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to
each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each
morning would look in his garden and pick up one
of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he
looked into his garden and saw that the hen had
laid an egg in the Englishman's garden.

He was about to go next door when he saw the
Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up
to the Englishman and told him that the egg
belonged to him because he owned the hen. The
Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid
on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the
Scotsman said, 'In my family we normaly solve
disputes by the following actions: I kick you in
the groin and time how long it takes you to get
back up, then you kick me in the groin and time
how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets
up quicker wins the egg.'

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman
found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on,
he took a few steps back, then ran toward the
Englishman and kicked as hard as he could in the
balls.

The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his
nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually
the Englishman stood up and said, 'Now it's my
turn to kick you.'

The Scotsman said, 'Keep the damn egg.'

Obasanjo was found furking 10 years old girl

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a
sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun
and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender
shouts, "Hey, Where are you going? You just shot
my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man,
I'm a Panda! Look it up!"

The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the
following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling
marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by
distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and
leaves."

The kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to
her class the definition of the word "definitely"
to them. To make sure the students have a good
understanding of the word, she asks them to use
it in a sentence. When called upon the first
student says " The sky is definitely blue". The
teacher said " Well that isn't entirely correct
because sometimes it's gray and cloudy". Another
student says" Grass is definitely green". Teacher
again replies " If grass doesn't get enough water
it turns brown, so that isn't really correct".
Another student raises his hand and asks the
teacher "Do farts have lumps?". The teacher
replied, "No, and that is not a suitable question
for class discussion". The student replies,
"Then I definitely shit my pants".

@kronkykay

na becos u no know the answer, the question is correct

@Lolabbey

if u get the answer i will build a house for u

Another Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and
drives women wild?

@ ituen

Bro na u sabi but i didnt know about that, i just post my own.