₦airaland Forum

She was waiting for her husband James to
show up.. Things had changed since their
marriage, the once cute, couldn't- live-
without-each-other couple had turned
bitter because the marriage is yet to produce
any child for 4yrs.. Fighting over every
little thing, both didn't like the way things
had changed. Nike was waiting to see if
James remembered it was their
anniversary!
Just as the door bell rang she ran to find
her husband wet and smiling with a bunch
of flowers in his hand.. The two started
relieving the old days. Making up for fights,
there was then plan for champagne, light
music. And rain outside! It was perfect
But the moment paused when the phone
in the bedroom rang. Nike went to pick it
up n it was a man..
"Hello ma'am I'm calling from the police
station. Is this Mr James Adeyemi's
number?"
"Yes it is!"
" I'm sorry ma'am; but there was an
accident and a man died. We got this
number from his PURSE; we need u to
come and identify his body."
Nike's heart sank.. WHAT tha Frickles!!!!
"But my husband is here with me?"
"Sorry ma'am, but the incident took place
at 2pm, when he was boarding the
subway.
Nike was about to lose her senses. how
could this happen!? She knew this type of
things she heard about the soul of the
person coming to meet a loved one before
it leaves! She ran into the other room.. He
was not there.. It was true! He had left
her for good!! Oh God she would have died
for another chance to mend every little
fight before! She rolled on the Floor in
pain. She lost her chance! Forever!
Suddenly there was a noise from the
bathroom,the door opened and James
came out and again and said....
."Hun, i forgot to tell u my purse was
stolen today"
LIFE MIGHT NOT GIVE U A SECOND
CHANCE.. SO NEVER WASTE A MOMENT
WHEN YOU CAN MAKEUP FOR YOUR
DEEDS!!! Its getting to the end of the year
let's start making amends...
To spouses
To parents
To in-laws
To siblings
To friends... And especially to a genuine
love we hurt..

FROM
: National Association of Boyfriends (NABs)
TO: National Association of Girlfriends
(NAGs)
CC: Federal Ministry of Women Affairs
BCC: Senate Committee on Conflict
Resolution
CHANGE IN XMAS REQUEST
--------------- --------------- -----------
This is to bring to the notice of the public
our concerns and conclusion on this Xmas
period.
~ How can a girl send you boxers & expect
a BB?
~ A tie & expect Brazilian hair?
~ Singlet & expect iPad 2?
~ Cufflinks & expect iPhone4?
Or nothing at all & expect an expensive
dinner at Chinese Restaurant?
Yet we preach gender equality.
Well, the National Association of
Boyfriends (NABs) has concluded it should
be trade by barter this Xmas Season.
~ Singlet should be exchanged with a Bra.
~ If she gives you roll-on, buy her "Miss
Paris".
~ She gives you cufflinks, give her rubber
band to tie her natural hair.
~ If she shows up at your door empty
handed, put NTA or AIT for her to watch.
Don't let her watch your subscribed cable
(no free thing).
~ If she asks for an expensive dinner, take
her to an expensive night vigil. MFM or
CAC to be precise.
~ She gives you a flower, you give her
igneous rock from Olumo (all na nature).
The above is currently our exchange rate
for the Xmas.
NATIONAL SECRETARIAT

5×5=?

This is a real story of a young ex-Unilag girl who passed away last
month. Her name was Lola. She was hit by a car at Oyingbo on
her way to work at Apapa. She was working for MTN. She had a
boy friend named Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred
to Abuja. Both of them were true lovers. She spent half of the
day and most nights talking with Emeka on her phone. Lola's
family knew about their relationship. Emeka was very close with
Lola's family in spite of the tribal differences. (just imagine their
love). Before she passed away at LUTH, she told her friends "If I
pass away, please bury me with my cell phone" she also said the
same thing to her parents. After her death at LUTH, the
attendants couldn't carry her body to the mortuary. A lot of
them tried to do so but still couldn't. They went and called some
priests in church who had the gift of communicating with the
dead. He sprinkled some salt and water on the body and started
speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, they said "this
girl misses something here". Then her friends told them about
her intentions to bury her with her phone.
They asked them to bring a coffin, and then they opened it and
placed her phone inside the casket. After that they tried to carry
the body. It could now be moved and they carried it away easily.
Everyone was shocked. A day later which was Lola's birthday,
Emeka came to their house with gifts but was so shocked to
receive d news. He couldn't believe because he still spoke with
Lola d previous day, he then tried calling her phone again in their
presence and behold d phone rang nd Lola picked it and they
were chatting. They called d priest to come and intervene nd
when he came and prayed for 5 hours, it was revealed dat MTN
is everywhere u GO. Pls don't shoot me yet cos I'm also looking
for d person dat sent me dis,so I can strangle him too..
Heheheh!

Akpos and johnny went for an interview for employment. johnny was the first to enter the interviewing office.. (the manager asking johnny questions).
Manager: who was the first millitary head
of state in Nigeria..
Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi..
Manager: when was the North and
southern protectorate in Nigeria
Almagamated. . Johnny: 1914..
Manager. Dat is gud of you..
Question no 3, is it true that the cure for
hiv/ aids is discovered.. Johnny: eehm..
yes but not scientifically proven...
Manager: good way of answering
questions, pls can you wait for us outside
and we will attend to you later... (when
johnny went outside akpors asked him)..
Akpors: johnny, what are the questions
and please tell me the answers??..
(as johnny was about to tell akpors the
questions and answer, the manager
shouted from inside `NEXT'..
Akpors then said to Johnny)..
Akpors. Ok tell me only the answers..
Johnny: answer to
number 1 is: General Aguyi Ironsi,
number 2 is=1914,
number 3 is=yes but not scientifically
proven
(mumu Akpors got to d interview, after
exchanging greetings, d manager told him
to sit down) manager. Please sir, What is ur name?
Akpors : General Aguyi Ironsi
(manager became confused)
Manager. Please what year where you
born?
Akpors: 1914
Manager: (angrily, he shouted at Akpors)!!
are u mad?!!!
Akpors: Yes, but not scientifically
proven.hehehehehehe have a lovely day
peepz

HOW TO KNOW THEY ARE FOLLOWING
SOMONE 4RM THE VILLAGE IF:
- after entering a bus, it gets to your turn
to pay your fare,and you can’t find your
money
- If your download Fail at 99%
- If you buy a bold 6 for 90k today and the
next day the price drops to 20k
- U win 100millon,u put am 4bank, nxt
week d bank declear bankruptcy
- One a first date in a restaurant, after
eating fish, the bone hang for your throat
- If after working for 30 days,you got fired
without salary
- After selling your fathers property to go
abroad, and you still got deported few
weeks later
- if you take cheat into the exam hall, and
cant understand your own handwriting
- If after 6 abortions and d guy still ends up
not marrying you
- if you submit expo with your answer
sheet
- when ur frnd wey just come bak from
yankee give u cheque wey im no
remember to sign B4 he go back
- If at age 38 , you still refer to Davido as
your role model
- if after you use a heavy perfume and your
body odour is still stronger than RAID
- If After You photoshop yhur Picture….yhu
still Ugly Pass Taye Taiwo
- If u get expelled 24hrs 2 ur graduation
- if ur leg dey show for passport
photograph
- If You Break-Up With Your Bf and he wins
100million naira the next day!
- if the person that you were cursing out in
traffic turns out to be the one interviewing
you for a job….
- If U lied to Armed robbers that u don’t
have a phone, then it rings, & ur ringtone
is ‘Ebami K’igbe Ole, Ole Ole Ole!
- if you sell ur Kidney to buy a Range rover
sport and they steal it d next day
- If u carry textbook go exam hall and still
dey copy from others.You should know ITS
FROM THE VILLAGE heheheheh . Its not ur
portion peepz. Have a lovely day jareju

no 4get say, na 4 ds our nig were deputy governor becam governor, ds cant happen in akwa abasi ibom state.

Failure is nt the end but an opportunity to try again,i was a victim too for almost 10yrs, but thank God am a victor now,i got all in one paper this 2012 after 9 settings,be focus u will make it!

May God help us!

allow God to take control in ur relationship, all will be well.

@op is this ur first child?

walah fasting na by force,if u lik it or not,

walah the moon no one show!

Ce-Mum !

Koko-Mma
Koko-Ette
Koko-boy
Eka-Mma
Fine-boy
etc

i cant 4get one faithful day that i sty away frm school b/c of this iron.