₦airaland Forum

i will be back soon

did wat?

well u said u dont want to do intercourse of a thing, so wat will u like to do? but i think dat will be better if u gat one with a magic touch like me.

i bet u, u will ask 4 more

see

evenrybody go say i don eat, who knows may be na garri u drink self. and u dey claim say u dey cook.


or na pig meat?

so u dey even buy shoe for person when u dont have a shoe

na wa 4 u ooooooooooo

u too, na only watin we they see u be that.

u need special hospital attension,

i can see craziness in ur arguement.

i am very sure, this is not an act of ignorance, but , sometim missen

Little Nancy bought two tickets to travel in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Nancy.

Conductor: "Oye Nancy! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"

Little Nancy: "Don’t you know, pick-pocketing is common on buses, so I will keep one ticket in my shirts left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will not travel without ticket!"

Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"
Little Nancy takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"

Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also, then what, then you will be fined for traveling without ticket!!"

Little Nancy puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck) and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!" (in English: "Wots da use been a DTC staff!"

;d

;d

wow, this would hv been incredible, if not for dat, i am a burn (born) again joker

lol

so where are u?

u re always making error lolabbey, why?

;d

i can teach u how to get it if u dont mind

ewww! Never! I can never stick my beak in ur hole. And u will never take me alive!!! *flies away*


clemkul, wont u beg him b4 he fly away to hit a tree, because if he did, who will now serve u better?

such is nairaland too

lol

co debators

nigerian sport needs our help.

just do wat u can. nothing is too small to help nigeria

cheers

cheers

any how now

good for u

o ti ya were

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three
wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed
to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
the
most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
Flock to. "


The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most
beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world
And he will be ten times richer than you.
" The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
His is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like
A mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here
And continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.



















The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
show
That you women never listen!

who are u kissing?

am i talking to u b4?

i am talking to lolabbey.

she love me die

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to
work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their home- work, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 PM he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the lamb chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9:00 PM he was exhausted and though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was 'expected' to make love which he managed to get through with-out complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy m y wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "O my servant, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were ,
[Scroll to the bottom to read further , ??]

























You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night!!"

if apples were pears and peaches were plumz
and the rose had a difrent name
if tigers were bears
and fingers were thumz
id luv u jus the same

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had bypass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked how he was going to pay the bill. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."

The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"

He said, "Just a spinster sister, who is a nun."

The nun, slightly perturbed, said, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law."

ask him nw