₦airaland Forum

okuja below

Pastor pepper was admonishing his congregation concerning the sin of fornication and adultery:

Pastor Pepper: Repent! Repent! Repent! The Lord is coming soon brother...sister repent! Everybody is fornicating these days, why? everybody is committing adultery, why? You nor dey fear God? Listen, if you dont stop all of these sexual sins, i tell you congregation, we all go join



Okuja had a cardiac arrest

Okuja’s wife , Tuna was misbehaving.
Okuja had advised and advised but Tuna was not listening.
Tuna was using house keeping money to stake football betting.
So, Okuja reported his wife to their pastor, pastor Pepper.
Pastor Pepper invited Tuna to the mission house for counseling. they were night sessions

Two months later, Tuna was carrying pastor Pepper’s baby

This infuriated Okuja who angrily stormed the mission house to confront the pastor.
The pastor allowed Okuja to rant and later replied him

“ am I not a man? If I can advise with my mouth, I can as well advise with my waist, you foolish man”

Okuja fainted





SHOULD OKUJA DIVORce TUNA ??

https://www.nairaland.com/3758406/okuja-part-7-ft-pastor

https://www.nairaland.com/3758406/okuja-part-7-ft-pastor#55848005

i think you need Jesus


meanwhile see this https://www.nairaland.com/3758406/okuja-part-7-ft-pastor#55848005

Okuja’s wife , Tuna was misbehaving.
Okuja had advised and advised but Tuna was not listening.
Tuna was using house keeping money to stake football betting.
So, Okuja reported his wife to their pastor, pastor Pepper.
Pastor Pepper invited Tuna to the mission house for counseling. they were night sessions

Two months later, Tuna was carrying pastor Pepper’s baby

This infuriated Okuja who angrily stormed the mission house to confront the pastor.
The pastor allowed Okuja to rant and later replied him

“ am I not a man? If I can advise with my mouth, I can as well advise with my waist, you foolish man”

Okuja fainted





SHOULD OKUJA DIVORce TUNA

he was rushed to the hospital in a pool of blood.
The doctors realised that the bullets hard torn off all of Okuja's right butttock and would require a plastic surgery.
A monkey's buttock was scraped and was used to replace Okuja's lost butttox.

2 hours after the surgery, Okuja let out a biiiiiiiiiiig loouuuuuuuuuud fart, after which he dived from his bed to the next bed


All in the theater took to their heels

Okuja was asked to pull over by the police for checks
WHen the police checked the rear of Okuja's taxi it bore the inscription "POLICE ARE THIEVES"

The police beat Okuja up and locked him behind bars for 24 hours and was ordered to rub the insulting writing.

A week later, Okuja was stopped by the police again, the police checked and indeed the police checked and the writing had changed to.

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STILL THIEVES


One police man shot Okuja in his buttox

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few minutes later, Tuna was revived
she farted thrice and fainted again

Okuja picked his wife's mirror, took tissue (T-ROLL) and headed for the toilet.
This prompted his wife Tuna who asked, "and where are you going with T-Roll and a mirror?"
'I am going to the toilet to shitz'

"You are going to shitz with a mirror?" Tuna asked

'Yes, i want to see how my face looks like when i come'

'eiii, slow madness! how are you going to come in the toilet?" Tuna asked angrily


"Yes, i come in the front with you and come in the back at the toilet"


Tuna fainted

hylyne:
Yes Bros....

ideal spouse

hylyne:
Silly question.

No amount worths my woman's body.

really

LethargiQue:
Lol

??

LethargiQue:
In this current economic situation, if she won't do it, I would'nt mind putting on a wig and getting on with it..

what is the bolded supposed to mean?

if your spouse's boss at work tables 10,000 dollars to have sex with your spouse.
Yes, just once and that amount is credited to your account
will you accept this offer?

the police officer farted thrice immediately and also fainted

Okuja was on a public bus but had no money to pay
fortunately for the bus conductor, there was an armed police officer too
The moment the bus got to the destination at the station, Okuja took to his heels running like rabid pig
The police man as was expected gave Okuja a hot chief with his AK47 rifle pointed at Okuja
After a good run, the police man screamed 'freeze'
And okuja in fear stopped running, lifted his hands and said 'i surrender!'
The police man replied, 'listen mr man, better continue running so i can continue chasing you, for i myself too i have no money to pay for my transport fare..........which kind yeye surrender!'


Okuja had a cardiac arrest

The other day, Okuja was driving along the street and he saw two women fighting violently.
They had been ringed by scores of people on the street
Okuja asked why the ladies were fighting and he was told they were fighting over a man

This really amazed Okuja who later inquired "who is that man they are fighting over?"

Then the onlookers pointed this man to Okuja
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Okuja fainted

an underground rapper
who is struggling to record his album?
no car
no income
no house
but has the potential to be a future clebrity

would God find a Mary on nairaland?
a virgin?
a righteous woman?

After 3 days and 3 nights Okuja was released from police custody
and he went to church to give a testimony .

3 days later, he was working with his taxi when the police stopped him once more.

after a few checks, Okuja was arrested and handcuffed by the police.

Okuja had this inscription at the rear of his taxi...

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" THE POLICE MUST DIE"

Okuja, a taxi driver gets stopped by the police on the way .

Police: Let me see your particulars

Okuja brought out some papers to the police

few minutes after going through the papers, one policeman screamed, "Mr man, are you mad? what kind of car papers are these? all we see on these papers are inscriptions of Exodus 23:8"

Okuja was indifferent

one police officer brought out the bible opened to exodus 23: 8 and it read

And you shall take no bribe, for a bribe blinds the clear-sighted and subverts the cause of those who are in the right.

Okuja was arrested and detained for 3 days 3 nights

dani1luv:
I hope u havent missed ur period?

gay

Ghana abounds in musical talents

which is the hottest in nigeria currently?

For the choir director: A psalm of David. Only fools say in their hearts, "There is no God." They are corrupt, and their actions are evil; not one of them does good! (Psalm 14:1)

not true

A pastor met one of his church members and the following ensued between then;
Pastor: Hello brother stephen, how are you?
Brother Stephen: I am shinning in the Lord
Pastor: Wow, we thank God. Brother have you read your bible today?
Brother Stephen: No Pastor
Pastor: Why brother?
Brother Stephen: Pastor, it's because of the weather ooo
The pastor fainted!
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (Matthew 4:4)
If you havent studied your bible today please do now!!

women have a plethora of hairstyles
which ones drive you crazy?

and women, which of the men's hairstyles make you go gaga?

if spiritual life were to be like charging your phone?

what would be your percentage level?

100 percent charged or 1 percent?

what can you do to be fully charged always?

we need to talk bro