You’re asking advice from the wrong quarters, as most of us have no context about what you’re going through.
So here’s my suggestion:

- Consult a competent doctor and ask all your questions, thoroughly explore all your options with the doctor.

- Call a family meeting and table your findings as the advice your doctor friend gave you concerning your father.

- Every member should share their views and come to an agreement.

One of two things will happen;

- Your family will experience an epiphany, reminisce on all the good times and all he means to you all, and together with renewed vigour commit to the process, whatever the outcome.

- Out of sheer exhaustion from the last twelve years of toil agree to end it graciously, so all parties can rest.

All the best.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS CONTD.
(Doing it better).

Despite the central role relationships play in our lives, we’re rarely ever taught how to love.
We’re left to discover for ourselves through suspicious means and patterns through which some of us end up as victims, or aggressors in toxic relationships.

We’ve looked at some signs of unhealthy love:

Intensity
Isolation
Extreme Jealousy
Belittling
Volatility

These signs are a warning and a guide in relationships; as understanding what we don’t want from love is key to doing love better.
The way a relationship develops is critical and keen attention should be paid to how we feel, not letting the excitement and passion blind our senses.
Check in with yourself:
Are you comfortable with the pace of intimacy?
Are your opinions respected?
Are you treated as a person, not an object of desire?

The answer to these and other similar questions will help ensure the relationship proceeds in a healthy manner.

Elements of Healthy Love.

Open Communication;
The free flow of opinions, feelings, and ideas within a relationship is essential. There should be a safe space where all parties can air their views without judgment.

Mutual Respect;
regardless of perceived differences in any relationship, if an individual is worth being around, respect is important.

Kindness;
all relationships issues should be handled from a place of love and care.
Even discipline should be meted with a loving disposition wherever necessary (parent-children relationship) as this assures all partners of their inherent value and not just an outlet for frustration.

Patience;
The range of human personalities are broad and endless; people are very different in the way we act and react.
As such patience with all partners is necessary is doing relationships better.

Our family, friends and romantic relationships should serve as a source of strength, guidance and upliftment.
It should be a place where we are loved and accepted.
The world outside is tough, and to have to deal with abuse in relationships can break the spirit.

Let’s strive to love better.
To build up, not tear down.
And to seek help if we’re ever in toxic relationships.

Streaming link please.

S0l0m:


Is your business registered?

You can use UAE PayPal and verify it with your Nigerian details. Then you link it with your flutterwave merchant account.

No it’s not registered.
Just freelance.
Any way out

Good morning all. Please I’m curious as to the best ways to receive payments from abroad for services rendered. Since paypal which is widely used is not available in Nigeria.

Your inputs are needed and greatly appreciated.

Just subscribed.
All the best

Every situation we find ourselves, it’s best if we act with urgency and purpose as soon as possible (a stitch in time); before the situation escalates and gets complicated and would need a lot more effort to regain control (saves nine).

A stitch in time will save the need for nine stitches.

In layman’s terms: if you see small tear for your trouser, amend am immediately with the stitch in time; no say make i manage am go comeback because that small hole go don turn “otolo”.

A toxic relationship is one with constant strive and conflict. Lack of respect, persistent abuse (verbal and physical) and a general lack of cohesiveness between partners.

1in3 women and 1in4 men are victims of toxic relationships, but victims are usually the last to see that something is wrong cause they’ve grown so used to abuse and will sometimes dismiss it as “crazy love” or “relationship drama”.

Make no mistake, toxic relationship is damaging mentally, physically and psychologically and tends to slowly drain the life out of its victims.

So how do we know a relationship is toxic??

1) Intensity: Overwhelming or suffocating attention. Always want to know where you are and want to go everywhere with you (monitoring spirits).

2) Isolation: They slowly pull you away from your support system ( family and friends) and sow seeds of doubt about them. They say things like “your family hates us and don’t want to see us together “ or “your friends no follow, why do you hang out with them”. Healthy love entails individual independence.

3) Extreme Jealousy: Possessiveness, mistrust, cheating accusations (who’s that person and what are you doing together). They tend to rationalise this obsession as love.

4) Belittling: Words are used as weapons. Mean, abusive and embarrassing words are used to deliberately hurt and belittle. When you state your displeasure they tend to pass it off as a joke and ask you to have a sense of humour.

5) Volatility: One minute you’re so in love, the nest minute (at the slightest excuse) you’re at each other’s throat. When it’s good it’s great, when it’s bad it’s awful.

Does this describe your relationship?
To be continued.

At what age did you realise it isn't "Crack My Brain" but "Rack My Brain".

Drop your own commonly misused expressions.

K

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Ever wondered how the internet is able to store so much information, is easily accessible across multiple platforms and stays connected almost seamlessly

Here's a little insight (Facebook as a case study):

The internet we use for free or almost for free is quite expensive to build and maintain.

Pix 1
Facebook data center.

Each building contains thousands of hard drives.

Pix 2
Each blue and black box is filled with hundreds of hard drives. Each hard drive holds 2 petabytes (2,000 terabytes) of information arranged like in Pix 3

*cold storage is basically a tray full of 4TB hard drives.

How much does it cost?
The recent data center in New Mexico cost $35,000,000, just to pull power lines ti the facility.
Facebook spent (as of 2006) $835,000,000 per year on computers, servers and storage.

Almost a billion dollars per year for what we get for shikini money.

Bought my first phillips dry iron in 2011 and it's still going strong.
My folks refused to release it to me when i moved out, so i had to buy another one in 2018 from Spar Port Harcourt Mall.
I believe i saw some units of it the last time i was there.

What is a rove beetle?

The rove beetle, Paederus sabaeus
species, also known as “papa”, “skirt and blouse,”.

The rove beetle is small, 7-8mm long. It has a black head with an orange/red thorax (immediately behind the head).
The body is mostly black with a shiny metallic black area that conceals its folded wings and a distinct broad orange/red band towards the tapered tail.

Where are rove beetles found?

During the daytime, rove beetles can be seen crawling around on the ground, with their wings hidden, and can resemble ants.
Adult rove beetles are predators of other insects and at night are frequently encountered around light sources

How can rove beetles affect humans?

Rove beetles do not bite or sting but their blood contains a strong toxin called pederin that can cause skin and eye irritations.

If you crush the beetle, the toxin is released and absorbed by your skin.

The beetle can be crushed if you swat it like a fly or mosquito or if it collides with you at speed (such as bare skin on a motorbike) and can cause conjunctivitis, severe dermatitis (rash) and serious skin irritation.

Initial symptoms include reddening of the skin, and a 'burning' sensation. This is followed by painful irritation and itching, with extensive pustules and blistering of the skin after 4 days.

The affected areas remain irritated, blistered and sore for 10 days. Toxin on the hands, or exposure near body joints, can spread toxin to other areas of the body and to others.

How can I protect myself from the effects of rove beetles?

Avoid touching rove beetles.

Blow or wash beetles off your skin.

Minimise lighting in infested areas at night.

Wear long-sleeved and long-legged clothing to minimise exposed skin.

Have bottles of soapy water handy for first aid.

Use the buddy system to keep a lookout for beetles on others.

If a rove beetle is accidentally crushed against the skin, immediately wash the affected area with soap and water.

The toxin slowly penetrates the skin. Washing shortly after exposure will remove much of the toxin before it has time to harm the skin.

First aid

There is no specific first aid available for exposure to rove beetle toxin.

Avoid contact with the beetle.

Avoid ingestion.

If exposed to rove beetle toxin, wash affected area immediately with soapy water, and then use cold compresses, antihistamines, or apply aloe vera to alleviate the symptoms on exposed areas.

Seek medical attention for severe skin reactions to the toxin.

Mammino, Jere J. (November 2011). "Paederus Dermatitis". The Journal of Clinical and Aesthetic Dermatology. 4 (11): 44–46. ISSN 1941-2789. PMC 3225135. PMID 22125660.

Rushna27:
one thing ave come to realize is dat no culture or so called tradition is in favor of women but for d men. shud we den say culture and traditions are set of greedy stuff or wot.. men enjoys it all at d detriment of woman harm

Check this out you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Matriarchal world cultures
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g28565280/matriarchal-societies-list/

Matrilineal world cultures
https://blogs.dw.com/womentalkonline/2015/02/20/matrilineal-societies-in-the-world/

In Nigeria I'm well aware that the Nembe people of Bayelsa have a matrilineal culture.

Teebilion:
Is it me or it’s that this LEARNED instead of LEARNT sounds appalling ?

Whether you’re saying you learned something or learnt something, you’re talking about the same thing—the process of finding out, acquiring, or retaining knowledge or information.

The only difference is that the way you spell it says something about where you’re from. Learnt and learned are both used as the past participle and past tense of the verb to learn.

Learned is the generally accepted way of spelling it in the United States and Canada, while the rest of the English-speaking world seems to prefer learnt.

K