₦airaland Forum

Jadekitana:
I'm quite disappointed seeing the way guys in lagos behave these days! This thread is based on stories i'v heard from friends and my experience as well.

Recently a friend in access bank borrowed her boyfriend 800k to start a business but got the shocking news that her boyfriend of 3years has eloped to UK without a trace.

As a pretty tall lady I get to have a lot of these guys as "toasters" even though i'm not always interested but I always have one or 2 things to add to my smartness. These are the questions an average lagos guy ask these days:

1) where do you live? Island or mainland
Once they hear lekki, oniru, ajah the next question is "do u live alone" if the answer is no, you would instantly see the disappointment but if it's yes, the next question is "when am I visiting, hope u cook well, is it a flat or self-con, I would sleep over o......... you can imagine!

2) where do you work? If they hear kpmg,gtb,acceSs, chevron etc instantly they become available for dating! They discharge any side chick to avoid complications as they wouldn't have to spend a dime on you.

If they hear: sorry i'm an applicant or a company that pays 40k e go be later for that babe

3) Do u have a car? Dude seriously? U wanna be driving my car? I buy fuel with my hard earned money while you park yours and you think i'm gonna release my keys to you to tour round lagos? Have a re-think.

4) what's your net worth? How much do you have in your account? How much do they pay you! Trust me they have other ways to check. I once dated a guy who called his cousin in my company to confirm how much I earn. Next thing he started complaining about low funds,how he needed to get a house bla bla bla. I kicked his ass to the curbs!

5) what do your parents do? Are they retired? Does your dad have companies? How many are you guys? Are u the first daughter(to know if u entitled to properties) how many cars do they have? Does your dad play gulf? Is he a member of polo club? no be only polo club na palmwine drinkers club e dey, rubbish!

Have you been out of the country before?? Yes dude i'v been to Somalia, that's abroad as well

Ladies who have no experience in relationship matters or those who are blinded by love tend to talk too much and become victims of these scammers. Next thing u hear is baby we must get married this year, I must settle down with you, this is my last bus stop, u are everything I want in a woman, meeeeen u'v got class babe, and the mumu would be blushing and putting his pics on BlackBerry and instagram with #mybooforages

Fast forward 3months later, u start hearing stories like I borrowed the ediot 300k he eloped, he took my 500k and when I asked he threatened to release my nude pictures etc

So these days it's all a game,the smart ones scale through! It not just ladies who do all that,guys have now adopted this new style and a lot get away with it. So y'all should not come here weeping and wailing about ladies, guys now have a degree in gold digging although some just enrolled in the university of gold diggers, others now have masters and phd.

texanomaly:
You are the one who wakes up under the bed and have no idea how you got there. How do we know you are not the witch?

Bugatie:
Lols at small fingers, this politicians sef

ST305:
I'm concerned about this. It's not some fun stuff that I can take advantage of. I don't know sincerely. I'll check d pm

Strahovski1:
Lol.

Let me book first and read.

Ok I've read it.

[s]Well, she might not have any supernatural powers you are thinking. Maybe she heard you talking over the phone about the divorce. Maybe she used a traditional way (stones) to light the gas, maybe she likes sleeping and maybe you just roll under the bed[/s]

Now that's bullsh!t.

Your wife obviously has some metaphysical powers. Perhaps she is a member of a witch coven. And witches are harmless creatures. They are servants of nature unless you threaten them. So in my opinion you have nothing to fear.

Instead talk to her. Don't be afraid. She won't hurt you. If truly she has powers convince her to open up and if she opens up, it's a blessing. Yes. You two will now come together to figure how you can exploit those powers. Common your wife can make fire with her hands without a match stick that means she can do anything. If she can make fire come, she can make a $1000 note come too! Lol no pun intended.

Jokes apart, you guys can have anything you want. If she makes invisible water bathe her she can make anything invisible.

She can even read minds omg! Man sell her to me please. I'll pay

I won't tell you to divorce her. Goto church and cast the spirit by fire. Deliverance and all what typical africans will say. I'll tell you to EXPLOIT it.

Get something good out of it. You can even tell her to make them promote you at work. Alot of stuff. She is like your nuclear weapon. Your asset. That is if you pose no threat to her. Man I wish I was in yor position by now I won't be on NL. Damn.

ST305:
This is not a Joke. I married my woman about 6 months ago. We dated for about 4 months and I married her. She insisted that I marry her otherwise she moves away. And she was my perfect type of woman so I had no choice.

After our wedding she refused to make love on our wedding night. She said she wasn't in the mood for that. I let her be. For 1 month we did not do anything not like I married her for sex but it's unusual I confronted her and she agreed. We started making love normally.

About 2 months later I started having weird nightmares, seeing all sorts in my sleep sometimes I wake up and find myself under the bed. I asked her regarding me under the bed she said I usually roll and fall then roll under the bed. It's sounds funny but it's not a funny experience. For 2 weeks straight it happened consecutively. Then i changed my sleeping position to the wall so I cannot roll off. I still find myself under my bed. This usually happens when we make love. If we don't it doesn't.

She goes to church with me, prays with me and acts normal but sometimes she is not normal at all. It was Last month, I noticed that she Does not use the mirror and yet her make up is perfect, she does not bath with the shower water and she comes out wet. Excuse me, your wife enters the bathroom you do not hear the sound of running water at all and she comes out wet. How is this possible? I'm running mad. She Does not sit in front of a mirror because there is no mirror in our room and she comes out with a beautiful face.

When she sleeps at night, it takes hours for her to wake up. She might sleep 8pm and wake 11am. When she wakes she looks so stressed and tired (someone who is just waking up).

Last 2 weeks, I was to attend a party my friends organized for me to celebrate us. She told me not to go to the party that she won't go. I went alone with the hope of lying to my friends that she called in sick. Because it doesn't make sense. I got to the party it went well but coming back home I was involved in a motor accident though I survived unhurt it was this morning I started to read meanings into all this. Infact on Sunday, she told our house assistant to fetch some box of matches from the nearby shop. The house assistant was yet to come and I saw my wife cooking rice.

I asked her if she has found some matches, she said no. I don't know what came over me I was dumbfounded. How in the world did she light the gas? Without a match. I did not ask her because I am afraid to ask her. It's as if she can read my thoughts. I was planning on a silent divorce with one lawyer I did not tell her yet. She came to me and said i want to divorce her..hw did she know?

Please if I start counting all this tin it will take a whole day. Please I don't know the section to post maybe religion i don't know.

Please is my wife a witch?

Dyt:
Hmmmmm
She doesn't wanna go school
No handiwork
No business
Battling eyelashes


Abeg me I am business minded oo
Single
Independent and very ready to mingle only if you are very rich sha

kropotkin2:
Sister tit you still dey wail? I hope you do realize that its gonna be 3 long years of agony for you?

igbodefender:
With the Florida win, Trump has packed all 99 delegates from the state. But he just lost 66 delegates from Ohio to John Kasich.

igbodefender:
Rubio has just congratulated Trump and dropped out. He said the US was in the middle of a "political storm", and voters were angry and frustrated.
A few weeks ago, he was mercilessly attacking Trump.

tit:
Nigerians beware, Cruz will be harder on you than Trump.
Just watch and see.

danites3:
Everyday I read about how Govs are working hard to turn around the economic situations of their respective states. Ambode is in Lagos bringing new policies about tax, Obiano is heavily investing in agriculture n infrastructure. In Akwa Ibom. Udom is bringing in foreign Investors. El-rufai is working hard to revive Peugeot in Kaduna. What exactly is Fayose doing to boost the economy of Ekiti State? Anytime Fayose is in News he is either attacking PMB or he is eating panded yam in one roadside restaurant or he is riding okada . I think its high time Ekiti people asked the man when he is going start his job as the chief executive officer and coordinator of the state economy.

SUPERPACK:
jobless man blaming tireless traveller

Aremu01:
Well
The travelling are not for fun

StarOnEarth:
This guy talks too much

mynd1:
Fayose d mad man. Pls is ur mother still wearing pampers?

blazer234:
Are you a teacher in the state? If so, shame on you.

Your heavy blunders indicate the kind of knowledge you will pass across to your students.

Imagine someone who calls himself a teacher spelling duress as durex

Imagine a so-called teacher spelling arrears as areas!

You must be a product of political appointment.

If I want to write jamb and I ask you to teach me use of English, only God knows what I will score. Yet, you call yourself a teacher.

And when the government decides to do aptitude test for teachers, it is peeps like you that will shout the loudest against such move, since you know you will perform poorly in such test.

You should be glad you even got the job.

You shouldn't be asked to buy computer; rather, you should be asked to go back to your village or back to secondary school.

ridax:
Help!!!!Help!!!! Comrades in the house Please, we need your Help.
Delta state is compelling teachers to by fake laptops with low capacity at outrageous prices of more than 100k of which same model goes for 65k in the open market.
This fraud has been on since 2014 and we are under durex to sign an undertaken irrespective of how many computers you have in your home, that your account will be debited by the next salary. The most painful aspect of it all is that salaries are not being paid as at when due, areas are not paid, and this government keeps oppressing us as if we are their slaves. Somebody should please help us out. This government is killing us. Delta SUBEB is full of political thieves.

daniska3yaro:
Nawa oo,this not a new story nw,everybody wans to include his or her own child on juice jobs in fg.

Na turn by turn.

Fiwasayo:
Kisses to you hun

calobinna:
see insult.... just for one person, you guys are professionals at this! I don't see myself doing this to a fellow, ignoring would be the best option for me! #calmDownBrothers

Jacinta44:
OK
Thanks.

Jacinta44:
Bro
Take it easy.
Why so angry.

Everybody is not perfect.
Even if am bad
Cussing me will not make me change.

Keep calm and drink Orijin bitters or five alive pulp juice.

My goal is to make money.
Any which way na way
You grab it.

Jacinta44:
Bro
You call this face worwor.
Your brain need rapid resetting

Jacinta44:
Thanks for your advanced inputs.

You see, I'm a young girl who loves the good things of this life.

I am aspiring to be attracting men who ride cars.

I went to Nairaland Autos section, but they all seem to be very busy discussing Honda Toyota and Camry.
I was viewing their threads for hours, but no one even say Hi


It's not as if I like money and material things o
But I just want to be inducted into where all those rich guys are so that I can marry for love.

Don't insult me o
Remember that no body holy pass.

Candid advice please
Thank U.