₦airaland Forum

NaBanga:
You might deceive others and yourself. However no woman is going to say a man is broke unless he is broke. It means you cannot afford her lifestyle and her standard of living.

I'm not sure you're OK. Your level of understanding is 0.00000%

bigpicture001:
I read them all and I can conclude this particular guy is not ready for marriage, just looking for excuse to come outta of one...

Guy u are safest with a lady that lives u more than one whom u love more..

Na u Sabi, Na Ur life

I understand your points, but from the look of things and the words she throw at me calling me a baby penis, there's absolutely no way I'd ever had sex with her ever again, if the marriage doesn't break off. So, what would I be doing in a marriage without sex, absolutely no way I will ever have sex with her ever again.

Gotocourt:
God be with you, Bless up bro 🙏

Don't rush your next relationship

May thy Lord God Almighty bless you sir, you're so understanding.

frozen70:
Firstly, congratulations as you are about getting free from your shackles

Secondly, as you will be announcing the end of the marriage, where will she be, will you push her out with the child or you think your inlaw will listen to you in that same house all of you are living then stand up and go with out begging you to forgive her

My contributions are, plan yourself well, get yourself another apartment.

Arrange a visit to her family, carry her along with the child personal belongings and drop her off to her parents house and tell them officially that you have returned their daughter to them.

She has vowed never to go anywhere, I've already planned renting an apartment and won't be sleeping at home that much.

I have never ever seen her extremely serious, except whenever she's vowing not to go anywhere, when I told her that I'd return her bride price and send her back to her mother's house. She always turns to a tigress whenever I bring up this statement. I have accepted my fate that she won't agree to go anywhere no matter what, I'm already planing to rent another apartment, even though the house/compound we're currently living is mine.

FRANCISTOWN:
The kinds of comments I've seen on this thread explains why we have many stupid young guys in the society today. Imagine a man who has been married for 20years happy being a weakling , another another one for 10 years was busy saying a whole lot of bullshit.
Some idiots even said your wife was like that because she loved you. People just use their stupidity without censoring. How can a lady who love you cheat on you, flout your orders, insult and disrespect you and even allow her friends disrespect you. Are some people naturally stupid?

A woman who wanted to kill herself didn't do that because she was madly in love with you. She wanted to do that so that you can end up in jail because people would think you killed her. She wanted to put you in a case where you won't be able to exonerate yourself.

Some men are really a shame and are very very stupid. 20years in marriage and yet very stupid. No wonder my father would always say "Be mindful of the kind of elderly advice that you seek, age doesn't come with wisdom. Some people grow with foolishness and the more some people age, the more foolish they become".

Well, I don't have anything to say to you. Whatever you do in life, always understand that safety matters first.

You're extremely right boss, it's always safety first. I'm an electrical engineer and our first motto is always and forever, safely first.

nairaman66:
You will regret in the long run.

Hmmmmm, how?

NaBanga:
"I'm a broke guys she's just managing." That is the root of your problem. Leave now and make money, because the insults will never stop. You won't get any sweetness from a woman, if you are poor and not trying. Never let anyone woman pay the majority of the bills, because she will resent you and eventually hate you.

Bro, that was back then that I had nothing not anymore. If u read my story from starting to the very end, you'd see where I stated that I spent 4m plus on our marriage, a broke guy can't spend such on a wedding.

OKOATA:
Make una dey read before commenting na haba. Person say e no love him wife, is it by force to love someone you don't want to be with? I pity you.

Thank you boss, you're extremely understanding.

OKOATA:
Better guide yourself well make she no stab you for sleep. If you like no take this advice seriously.

I haven't thought of this, the only thing that I've thought about is vowing to myself not to eat anything prepared by her.

lebron7:
You be bad person bro

How bro??

ahnie:
They never loved themselves in the first place,it's good they went their separate ways,I saw a clip of how a man killed his wife that bore him 2kids,then threw himself inside a konga(well)


People marries for different reasons,the moment a woman opens her mouth to demean the size of her husband's peepee in his presence all atom of love have completely flew outta the window.

Both this op and his wife are toxic,à man that woefully failed performing his duties and the wife bombing fb to please her husband.


Marriage wey nor suppose take place in the first place.

I love ur comment, you're extremely understanding.

ahnie:
Thank God they finally separated,they would be killed each other.


They both married for different reasons.

Absolutely, you're very right on this 💯

Ebigwei007:
You just wasted her time with you, something that you would have avoided but you just ignored it, well sha its nt too late to come back to her, just tell her am sorry, fall in love with her again like before.

Wasted whose time
Do u know how many countless numbers of times they I wanted to leave and she always threatened me with suicide? Would it have gotten to this extend if she had allowed me to leave in peace back then?

GVTAsiwaju:
Is she the one footing the bills

Footing which bills??

ayomilore:
This phase will soon pass. By the time she has 2,3 kids for you she will be chubby like you desire and by then all the youthful exuberance associated with early stage of marriage would have fizzled out. Just be patient like someone earlier suggested.

Shalom.

She won't be chubby, her first pregnancy is enough to seal it if it's possible, her elder sister got pregnant and gave birth to her first child and she got really chubby, her other elder sister too same thing. But in her case, she got more thinner than she was before. I haven't seen anything like this ever before.

Sucre6:
You see, when we ingest red pill with reckless abandon, many here call us name, being a redpiller means alot, a red piller would know that all you have done was a rooky mistakes. And have been armed how to handle these situation

The worst mistake ever is marrying out of pity,
and marrying without loving the person, plus knowing she has cheated would permanently live a damaging image in your head never to trust her again which will lead to non sexual attraction, sorry to say bro, it will get to a point when you can't even sustain an erection with her that's because sex is also psychological, if you dont find her attractive chances that u both will have good sex is almost not there, which is one of the bedrock of marriage

The truth is, no woman is perfect even the chubby ones u keep using as a reference, plus you need to grow mentally, there are some things you ignore and walk away from, you can't win an argument with a woman, starting it in the first place is the wrongest move ever, women thrive on emotion and they capitalize on you making mistake while arguing to make a silly point to further fuel their point,

It's a cycle that never ends, with your mentality and way you think, even if you divorce her and marry your choice chubby lady, chances that the marriage won't work is very high, you need a bunch load of red pill session bro.

You're a seer, my erection while she's naked in from of my has already started deminishing, because she isn't sexually attracted to me.

I do no that no woman is perfect, but at least I want to be with someone that I love and someone I'm attracted to even if she isn't perfect or doesn't have a very good character.

Goodnewsforlife:
thank goodness the foolish man is learning in a very hard way

Even my wife wey we dey gather read dey call u mumu

Why she dey call me mumu? Because of the fact that I was pressured into marriage or she think I'm wrong in all of this? Please ask her why.

udede:
Op, be very fast in ending the marriage before she kills you. I'm not exonerating you but i believe that she is too dangerous for you.

I made a decision this morning not to eat her food anymore until I fully get a refund of my bride price. Also I won't be sleeping at home often from now henceforth.

TheWinterBird:
Na wa

Yes I married her because she got pregnant, immediately she got pregnant she started pressuring me for marriage. My greatest shock until date was her reaction on the very first day she popped up the question to me, she said and I quote "when we go marry" I told her I wasn't ready the that night was total hell for me, she started crying endlessly, calling me all sorts of names that I'm wicked, heartless, and have no conscience. That same night she drank hypo with her pregnancy, drank tiles wash, used rope to tie her neck and lastly went to the kitchen to get a knife that she want to kill herself. I was surprised by her reaction because it was the very first day she asked me the question and I never imagined I'd witness such a reaction on just the very first day she asked me such.

She continued popping up the question on a daily basis and her reaction was always same whenever I told her that I wasn't ready, it got to a point that I told her that I don't have money and her response "na lie na lie na lie, u get money, u get money, na lie"

She kept on threatening me with suicide and popping up the question until I couldn't take it any longer and had to agree to marry her.

I got the greatest shock of my life this morning when I reminded her of what she did back then, her response. "she warned me not to ever say such again that I'm a man and I was the one that made the decision in getting married to her" this response nearly moved me to tears, because I remembered when she was pressuring me endlessly, threatening me with suicide, begging me on a daily basis to marry her and remove shame from her eyes. I was really so pained by her response.

saintopus:
Then I wish you all the best. Keep Shining and Bloom in the arms of a chubby one!!😁😁😁

Thank you.

Zeezeal7:
But what I don't understand is if you are and maybe was never sexually attracted to her, how did she get pregnant, abi she was conceived by the Holy spirit? Reasons why I don't date girls i don't see a future with to avoid mistakes like this....its obvious from your dating stage the red flags were there but you ignored because of free Bleep ( your penis is never your friend) and from how you describe her promiscuousness, the child might not even be yours, better to a dna test to ascertain that .....peace of mind is the ultimate so if the marriage isn't giving you that, it's better to leave it but the next woman you'd date, make sure you are sexually attracted to her and vet her religiously and dutifully, never ignore red flags, people don't really change cos as animals, we are creatures of habit and anything you can't change in your dating stage, can't really be changed in marriage. Best of luck to you sir

Of course 100% I'd be extremely sexually attracted to the next girl I'd be dating, it's not negotiable.

Regarding the child, it's mine 100% the resemblance is striking, he copied me, the face and the head, the resemblance is just too much.

Xscape1993:
Sir, frank speaking, I feel your pains at the moment, but I want you to handle this with caution. Sit down her and have a heart to heart talk. Have you even prayed over this before sir?

No, i haven't done that, I also haven't prayed about it before.

Xscape1993:
This is a serious issue ooo. Sir, love grows and develops with time. Exercise some little patience sir.

It's been 2 years and counting yet the love isn't there, I'd have left a long time ago, but each time I intend leaving she always threaten me with suicide, now see where I've landed myself.

StPete:
Kindly go ahead with your plans. I feel your pains. It is better to end your marriage now that it is early than die of high blood pressure. More so, the fact that she’s always trying to kill herself should make you quickly end the marriage so she won’t make u end up in prison for something u didn’t do.

I wish you good luck. Please take your time to search for a better companion and NEVER marry out of pity or get betrayed by just tears or what not. A lot of women are manipulative

Thank you for your awesome words, you truly clearly understood what I'm going through, thank you, I really appreciate. Thank you.

saintopus:
I've been in marriage for more than 20 years, most of what you stated here can all be settled with 2 attitudes.

1. Patience

2. Forgiveness

You see, no marriage on earth is without problems.

Let me ask you, assuming you got married to a chubby lady, do you think none of what you mentioned here would happen?

Or would you because of the lady's chubby nature and stay?

Lets say she was a virgin. Does that mean that she wouldn't have exhibited these attitudes?

Go back again and read those 2 words above. Then think again.

At least I'm 100% guaranteed that I'd be sexually attracted to the chubby lady and this might make the love that isn't there to pop up, but in this case, it's nearly impossible if not impossible for me to love her, I have tried on different several occasions but still the love isn't just there.

securitywatch50:
Hmmm, all this long epistle without substance and you call yourself a man.
What a shame in the name of marriage, why not allow someone's daughter to stay and meet someone that will love her for whom she is and not you that is frustrating her life for nothing with you.

I pray someone will also do same to your sister.

Seems you didn't read what I wrote, she clearly knew that I don't love her but yet used her tears and manipulation attempt to force me to marry her, when I'm not in anyway ready. Just because she got pregnant, so how's it my fault?

stainzvill:
Oga move on with your life but make sure u get involved in raising ur son the right way.

Yes I will always be there for him, I normally talk this words into his ear whenever I carries him. He's my everything.

Xscape1993:
You don't love her at all? What and what do you want from her? She persuaded you and you married her? Well, you have the final say sir.

No sir, the love isn't there... Not even 1% of it, sexual attraction is zero.

Good afternoon Nairalanders,

Please read to the end, It'd be quite an episode.

My marriage of 6 months has almost finally come to an end.

On my previous thread I have posted a lot about trouble we've been having during and after the marriage.

- How she manipulated me with her tears into marrying her despite the fact that I wasn't in anyway ready.

- How she manipulated me with her tears, and refused my pastor to conduct our baby's naming ceremony, therfore giving way for her pastor to conduct our baby's naming ceremony. And called me all sorts of names while crying when I refused and insisted that my pastor will be the one to do it.

Plus other's that I cannot even remember.




Now back to the topic, I will be extremely sincere to you all, I won't add anything and will not remove any. Everything started two day's ago, I was lying on the bed and she came to me crying and begging for me to love her that she's tired of begging for my love all the time, that I should give her just 1% of the love that I've for our son. Just 1% is all that she asked for, I didn't answer her, but later told her that I've tried in the past and still trying but the love isn't there naturally that maybe it's because she forced me into marriage when I'm not in anyway ready that in my wildest dream I never believed that I'd be a married man this year. Then she started crying heavily, went to look for rope and started strangling her neck that she will kill herself that there's no life for her to live, I rescued her. Then, I went to bath and before I came back she has locked the room door, I was hearing endless cough outside the door and pleaded with her to open the door but no response. Thank God the door key is somewhat faulty, I managed to open the door and saw that her eyes are already extremely red and spit drooping out of her mouth, the rope was so very extremely tight to her neck. "I'm still wondering until date how she managed to hold on tight and not let go despite the great pain she was in" next she went tho get knife that she'd stab herself. I was late for work and with the anger inside of me, I walked out of the house, she called me on video call immediately and showed me that this is the end that I should take care of out baby, I immediately ended the call, put my two phones on flight mode until I few hours later.

Immediately I on my phone my mom called me, she has reported a lot to my mom, my mom talked to me and when the heat was too much I walked out of her.

After that day, which is a day before yesterday, she totally changed, she no longer respect me, she talks to me anyhow, she insult me and talk back at me. These are things she does when I newly met her until she totally changed, now she has turned to something else, she bought a school form without even informing me. Two weeks ago she brought one of her friend to stay with us without informing me, when I confronted her she said she forgot.

Today she told me that I'm treating her bad and expect her not to revolt and continue keeping quiet, that this is the end road for me. I guessing that she got this advice from a friend, because she told her friend that she met at antinental everything that has been going on and she gave her some advice.


Today a huge quarrel broke out today which I'm clearly the cause, we were watching a Nigerian movie and I saw a chubby girl and complimented her that she's sweet that this is the kind of body I like that I'm going to search for her on Instagram just to see more of her. I said all this because I've been singing in her ears that I love dark skinned or chocolate women that are extremely chubby or fat. She also don't always fail to tell me that she's on weight reduction therapy "I'm always pained whenever I hear this words from her because she's not in anyway fat, she's fair too and rubbing cream to make her fair more, all these is paining me, she knew what I want but always doing the opposite. I can't resist a chubby girl, but coming home to see her how slim she's always makes me so heartbroken and weak.

The quarrel led to insult, we started insulting each other. She told me to shut up, that I'm an idiot bastard, a fool at 30, mumu, Goat etc.

And I insulted her as well, I'm pained by her insult because as she's supposed to give me some respect.


During the heat of the quarrel while we were still dating, I reminded her how she cheated on me by going to sleep with a stranger In a hotel until dawn, and denied that nothing happened, that the man didn't touch her.

I got to know all this when I she was sleeping and I used her finger print to open her phone and saw her chat between her and her room mate In school, she was still a student then.

"her friend asked her not to go, but she refused and went, on the chat she made mentioned that she didn't shaved that she'd be ashamed if the guy want to have sex with her.

When I saw her chat she blamed me, that I didn't gave her attention on that particular day. This is a woman whom I'm always chatting with all the time, except that particular day that I was extremely busy and told her that I'd be busy but when I'm less busy we'll chat. She said I told her that I was busy but I was online on whatsapp that she sent me messages but I never opened them, that her emotions got the best part of her.

I also reminded her of how she chatted a guy that was always disturbing her. She told the guy that she's ready to date him that he should go and rent house so that she would be coming to sleep there. What made her to write the guy? We had a quarrel, her friend that our last born was far older than, insulted me and instead of her to scold her friend she joined her friend and starter insulting me that I was the one at fault. Note : we were still dating back then when all this happened, today's argument made me to remind her.

I also reminded her of her chat with her friend when she told her friend that I'm a broke guy she's just managing.

But she said she was naive then that things have changed now which I can't deny. I then told her that I will call a family meeting and state all these that sha did during the past, I won't have done it but all her 4 sisters excluding her mom and one of her sister, think I met her a virgin, the remaining 4 of her sisters think I met her a virgin, so I want them to know that I didn't met her a virgin that she has already dis virgined when I met her.


Now back to the deal breaker, she said everything on my body is small including my penis, that whenever she's holding my penis when not erect, God forbid that it looks like a baby's penis. That God forbid our son having such a small penis.

Then I told her that her vagina is very wild that I don't feel anything when having sex with her, that all the prostitutes and my ex that I've slept with are far tighter and sweeter than her that she's has the worst and bitter vagina I've ever tasted in all my life and day to day existence.

Then she kept on hitting about my small penis that my penis is small and that's why I haven't felt anything. Then I told her how many girl's that have cummed during sex, even prostitutes. "Note, I'm not lying, this is 100% true" Then she said I'm lying, that my penis only long but it's small bla bla bla.

Few minutes later, I dressed up and went to church, while going she again called me a Goat, a fool and a Dog.


The decision I intend taking, I intend doing out child's dedication next week Sunday, so in order for anything not to connect us ever again after I've gotten back my bride price.

I have blocked her both numbers on whatsapp and Facebook, and on calls although she doesn't know yet. "note : this is the very first time that I'm blocking her, ever since when we started dating, no matter the quarrel and provocation, I haven't ever done this ever before.

Nothing and absolutely nothing will make this marriage work ever again, I intend calling a family meeting immediately after the dedication to state my mind that the marriage has ended and she should leave.

To me, this marriage ended a long time ago right from the very first day she manipulated me with her suicide attempt and endless tears and calling me wicked, heartless. In which I couldn't bear and I agreed to marry her despite the fact that I wasn't ready, the love wasn't there and above all I wasn't sexually attracted to her. I wasted 4 million plus in getting married to her February this year, and I have accepted my fate. I will do the dedication and call the family meeting to make my stance known.

Thank you all for reading, although I've already made a decision but I'd appreciate your contributions and what you think about all that happened.

Interesting

Bliztzer:
Ask her whether na her pastor pay the hospital bill, whether she is married to pastor and whether the child belong to the pastor?

As me o, na no no. If she can't give a enough reason why her pastor must be the one to name my child. Na no. No dey say yes, yes to everything wey woman demand.

Whenever I throw up the question about the hospital bills and even the things that I bought for the naming ceremony, her answer is always the same "always saying that if the money I spend is greater than the pain she went through to birth our child, that she did a huge sacrifice for me and I'm ungrateful.

GboyegaD:
Don't let social media break your home ooo. There is need to apply wisdom in handling issues as this. You both failed not to reach conclusions while dating and you just need apply wisdom in handling this.

That said, why did you not ask your name be imprinted on the receipt when you made payment? DO NOT blame her for your insufficiencies abeg. On the change of name, what was discussed during courtship? Like they say, yours is a typical example of if love is blind, marriage is an eye opener.

My advice will be bring up the things you feel you want corrected and handle it with care. Gra gra wouldn't solve it and as much as you can, do not bring up the sister changing her name to the baby daddy's name as that is disrespectful and not your business in any way. Deal with your own family in the ways that is best understood by you and your wife.

We didn't discussed anything regarding name change during courtship, If I told her to change her name today, she'd do it. But she's supposed to know that I don't need to remind her and change it already, that's my pain.