₦airaland Forum

GboyegaD:
Either find a neutral pastor for the sake of peace or do it by yourself. This shouldn't create any trouble in the home whatsoever.

Oga, on the authority part, rest ooo. There are ways to own the authority of the home than letting issues such as this get to you. You chose to be manipulated and this is not a case of challenging your authority. One question is what were you guys discussing during courtship?

You both have some growing up to do on the bolded. Why is your family dictating things in your home? This is a good time to settle the church thing otherwise, you should expect so much of unnecessary tantrums. My suggestion would be to move to a neutral church as it is obvious a logical conclusion wasn't reached before marriage.

My family are not dictating things in our home, I have insisted that my pastor must officiate the naming, but when my family heard that she said it's her pastor that must do it, they joined me in insisting that it must be done by our pastor.

Oche211:
You see, the issue is that you didn't properly vet her before marrying her.

If you did, you would have seen so many redflags. If you aren't sexually attracted to her so much, why then did you fall for her tears to marry her.

You see this naming ceremony thing now? It's the perfect opportunity for you to stamp your authority.

Sometimes, you don't have to wait for women to make some decisions, you make it for them. Understand that women are not capable of making sound, logic decisions without proper guidance.

You never lead your wife during courtship, you are not leading her now.

My woman can't even use tears to manipulate me, cos my No will still be my No and my yes will still be my yes. If you like cry an ocean of tears.

So since she know this, crying or manipulation is out of it. I am surprised at this your predicament.

If only you know the daily cry, you would understand why I bowed to the pressure of getting married to her, which I'm still regretting until date everytime I think that I'm married to someone that I don't love, and worst still not sexually attracted to, it hurts me a lot everytime I think about it, our marriage is just 4 months and I have already started regretting everytime I think that I'm married and I don't have 1% love for who I'm married to, it would still be good if I'm sexually attracted to her, but I'm not. I'm so deeply hurt.

SKhanmi:
Guy man, no be to dey talk online say you go do am. Make sure you do exactly what oche listed. Else na die you dey so. And learn to stamp your feet down abi no be you dey pay the bills. Face your own family and hers if necessary. Else you'll be used and dumped later in the future.

I'm the one paying the bills of course, yesterday I was angry and told her to buy all the maltina and meat pie then she can call her pastor to officiate the naming. She went silent and started calling me wicked, and heartless. I spent almost 400k on her CS spent 73k on the naming but it's time to make a decision and she want to make it.

During our marriage, her mother refused to appear in the church because I said I won't do court marriage, I saw it on my wife chat with her elder sister, she said her mom said she won't come because I'm thinking rubbish by not doing court marriage. And truly she didn't come.

Oche211:
You still want her to have her way this last time. You are not ready for anything.

If it's me, I will simply tell her I have changed my mind. Let her tell her pastor not to come. That you have made arrangements with your own pastor.
No matter how she disagrees, don't back down. Also, call her father and explain to him and tell him to call both his daughter and their pastor to order.

Tell him your wife has become unreasonable and for all she's done, you aren't comfortable with their pastor coming for the naming.

This is a test to know the family you married into.
Just call her father and tell him to talk to his daughter. In all your discussion with him, insist on not seeing the said pastor in your house on that day.

Again, if it's possible, make sure you take your family far from the church. That's if you can't be firm with this decision

Her mom already left their father when they were still young, she was brought up by a single mom.

Last year someone told me that while they were still married her mom was bringing small boys into their matrimonial bed to sex, on the day of our traditional marriage, one mama that lives close to where I lives called me to the corner and said she has a lot to tell me, after the traditional marriage I went to see her and she told me that my wife elder sister is doing runs which I I'm very much aware of, because she came to visit me one day, her and my wife that was when she was still my girlfriend, and she was boosting that no boy will and can ever Bleep her for free. Even her post on whatsapp status is all about sex and Bleep, smoke etc.

She told me also that her mom was once bringing young boys into their house while still married that she lived close to her before.

I didn't noticed any of this trait on my wife, "then girlfriend" and I haven't still noticed despite monitoring and cloning her WhatsApp.

Namaster:
My dude, you STARTED your marriage with a big bang of premium fuuuck up!

This woman has ZERO regard for you. She DOES NOT respect or love you. Probably doesn't even like you. You are just an expense account to this woman.

Any woman who has a MODICUM of respect for her husband would be EAGER to take his name. A couple of weeks ago, we all read about how Diezani Allison-Madueke's ex-husband, Allison Amaechina Madueke, took her to court just to get to STOP using his name after divorce.

That woman served as a Minister under 2 different Presidents before she became the first female President of OPEC. Yet she took NOT one but TWO of her husbands name.

But your wife (probably a stay-at-home wife) REFUSED to take your name and you still went along with the wedding.

You started on the WRONG track.

FIRST thing you need to do now is get a DNA test for that boy to confirm it's yours. Because the series of disrespect and disregard your wife has displayed towards you makes it highly UNLIKELY that she'd let you get her pregnant.

Ypu already spent #400K on the kid so find money for the DNA test. And do it ASAP before you sink in MORE money into raising her pastor's kid.

Meantime, put a STOP to every manipulation. Don't let her dictate ANYTHING or manipulate her way through anything. Even with tears, don't give in!

Worst of it all I have already started hearing storing flying around that she's controlling me, all because I gave in for her to allow her pastor officiate the wedding.

I refused and she told me that my mom is controlling me, even though my mom has absolutely nothing to do for me wanting our pastor to do the naming. I, my mom and all my siblings are attending same church, so that's the manipulating word she used for me and I agreed for her pastor to officiate it, I agreed because if another ear should hear such word, It'd spread out and people might believe it's true.

As for she answering my surname, I have already promised myself not to confront her about it, because I expect her to do that immediately after our marriage. But until this very moment she's still answering her father's name.

Oche211:
What am I just reading?

You really started off on the wrong note. That lady doesn't have any regards for you.

I don't want to be an agent of doom but if you don't do something quickly, this marriage is headed for the rock.

You are not in charge of your home. Tell her to either sit up or go back to her father's house.

One, that pastor must never officiate the child naming ceremony
Two, make sure you do a DNA
Three, discreetly monitor your wife, also have a way of reading her chats. I suspect she will be deleting chats. So make sure you have an app that recover her deleted chats
Four, by all means she must not step her feet in that her own church again.
Five, tell her to either do a change of name now or be ready to go back to her father's house.
Be firm and decisive. She's manipulative. She will destroy you if you don't act fast to put her on the right track.

We had an argument few weeks ago and she was crying as usual, she was still pregnant then. I told her that she's always using her tears to manipulate me and she swore with the life of the fetus on her womb that she isn't, since then I thought maybe she doesn't know when the tears start flowing and might not be manipulating me, but with what I saw yesterday after the argument, that thought is no longer there, I now fully believe that she's manipulating me with tears at every slight arguments or quarrels.

Regarding her changing her name, this is one thing I have swore never and ever to tell her to do, even though it hurts me to my bone marrow most especially seeing her elder sister on Facebook answering her boyfriend name. I swear that it hurts me so much that she is still answering her father's name but I won't ever confront her about this, common sense is supposed to tell her that immediately after marriage she's supposed to change her surname to my own name, even if it's just her Facebook name for the now. But no, she didn't, she registered for antinental with her surname, and that's why the money I paid for her CS has her name and surname on the receipt.

Oche211:
Stamp you feet on the ground and let the worse happen.

If you can successfully have your way now without giving in to her manipulation, she will stop.

Let her call you a wicked man. Also make sure you do everything to stop her from going to that church. Make sure she comes to your own church.

If she doesn't want, let her and the marriage go.

You are playing with a time bomb. If my guess is right, your marriage is still too young.

This is why we always advice against marrying out of pity

This is what I intend doing, thanks for your advise, I will do as you advised as it's the absolutely best thing to do right now. Although I have already given in on letting her pastor officiate the naming because of her CS operation, for her cry not to affect her.

But after everything, she won't go to that church again and I swear to God that if she refused she will pack her load and go, after all the love isn't there and I'm not sexually attracted to her. Same tears she used in manipulating me in getting married to her is same tears she's still using in getting her way after every little misunderstanding. I will stop her from going to that church, I have had enough already.

Namaster:
REFUSE! And NEVER compromise!

Plus when the naming is finished and she's recuperated from the CS, ban your wife from setting foot in that church. Or having ANY contact with that pastor.

It's MADNESS to be weeping over the fact that you want YOUR child to be named in your church and by your pastor.

Also the fact that she's BLOWING UP on you and GUILT-TRIPPING you over it is HIGHLY suspicious.

She either has an AMOROUS relationship with the pastor or he has BRAINWASHED her. Either way, letting her stay in the church is STUPID.

Also, you already bleeped up by letting your wife go to a different church in the first place. Church is a fertile ground for illicit romance, outright fornication and UNBRIDLED adultery.

You bleeped up BIG time. And you're dealing with the aftermath NOW.

Unless you do what I suggest, be ready for MORE variations of the same arguments. Because as time goes on, she'll take the kid to her church because she's nursing. When he becomes a toddler, she'll tell you he stills his mum to look after him.

Finally when he starts being MORE aware, she'll corner you and tell you that you just CAN'T take him to a different chuch since he's gotten used to hers.

If you yield TODAY, you will not only LOSE your wife to a strange man but your son too.

Stop that NONSENSE now!

It seems I have been too easy and quiet on her, I will do as you say and ban her from going to that church and if she refused, she should pack her load and go back to her parents house, I have really condole enough of her rubbish and tears at any slight arguments.

I paid 396k for her cs operation, and no where my name or surname appeared on the receipt that was given to me, it's her name and her father's name that was on it. This is because after marriage she has not changed her surname to my name, this hurt me a lot because her elder sister that is just a baby mama to her boyfriend has already changed her Facebook sur name to her boyfriend surname. Whereas my wife is still answering her father's name, I have told myself that if she can't think and do this willingly, I will never and ever confront her concerning this.

I have been allowing her to do whatever she want but this, she has over stepped her boundaries, seems I have been too easy on her.

Namaster:
First of all, do you mean she wants her pastor to CHOOSE the name of your baby or OFFICIATE the naming ceremony?

Secondly, do a DNA test to confirm rhat you'll not be raising the bastard son of her pastor. This woman obviously WORSHIPS her pastor. It's not UNIMAGINABLE that she's tendered her pussy as offering one or two times.

Next you need to face the fact that a SCAMMER (the pastor) and a STRANGE man (still the pastor) exerts more INFLUENCE in your marriage than you do. And ask yourself whether you still want to be in that marriage.

A strange man holds the remote control to your relationship. Your marriage subsists by his will. Are you okay with that?

NEXT, she is blatantly MANIPULATING you without remorse. You are NOT responsible for the complications that led to the C-Section. Even if it's because the baby is too big because you are a big man, it's still NOT your fault.

Her eyes were wild open when she CHOSE to marry you and have your child. If it's yours, that is.

STOP letting her use child birth as an ammo for manipulating you. Because if you capitulate today, you best belive she'll NEVER stop. Next she'll weaponise the child.

Then her next pregnancy would be a NUCLEAR weapon. Everything you previously disagreed on would be tabled again UNTIL she has her way. Maybe, she'll demand you DONATE your house to her pastor and rent a room and parlour for yourself.

Put your foot down and DON'T even compromise. Don't allow her pastor to be involved in ANYWAY when it comes to naming the child unless DNA proves the child is his.

Thanks for your input, what I actually meant is that she insist on her pastor officiating the naming ceremony. Which she's always crying endlessly whenever we start arguing about It.

FreeStuffsNG:
Naming is one part, another part is the name that will eventually be on its birth certificate. You will be the one to decide that one so chill for now. Collect names from everyone but if I were you, in this situation, I will settle for the name any of the two grandfathers submit for the naming ceremony

We both have agreed on the name, she suggested it and i agreed, though it pains me that I wasn't the one that came up with the name fully, but we've already agreed and changing my mind right now will lead to an heavy quarrel and lot's of endless crying from her. That I'm wicked and heartless that after we've both agreed, I changed things.

vanvickie:
Continue giving room for manipulations...

Someday the pastor will also be the one to determine something more than just the name of your child... BTW.. Ain't both of u supposed to be attending the same Church? Smh.

That's the church she was attending before we got married, so I don't want to stop her in order for it not to seems like I'm wicked and for her not to call me names.

Yesterday she reminded me that after our marriage my family forced her to do thanks giving at our church. She has been saying this for long, but stopped, until yesterday.

I told her that doing thanks giving at our church is now a bad thing or something that's forceful?

She cried a lot yesterday because of our argument of this naming.

Same tears she used in forcing me into getting married to her when I wasn't in anyway ready.

Good afternoon Nairalanders, my wife gave birth last week which was Saturday July 13th, that day was also my birthday, she gave birth through CS, this is our first child, and it's a boy.


This week Saturday is our baby's naming ceremony but my wife is insisting that her pastor must be the one officiate the naming the child, we've been disagreeing over this for some couple of days now,

she has called me all sorts of names, insulted me that I'm a very wicked man that I have no conscience, that after she pain and tearing she went through and still going through, I can't make this as a sacrifice for her, that I choose my family over her. She said so because my family also insist too that the naming must be done by our pastor.

But she's keying on the fact that she won't agree for the naming to be done in my church that it must be done by her pastor, she has cried and insulted me regarding this. Yesterday when we were arguing about this same particular issue she starting crying endlessly and calling me a wicked man.

I have finally agreed for her to use her pastor to do the naming, although I don't know her pastor and haven't seen him before, but I only agreed because of the CS operation she did while giving birth, her endless crying might affect her, if not there's absolutely no way possible I'd have agreed.

I must say that she doesn't know the repercussions of what sha has done by challenging my authority and always wanting to have her way with tears all the time. But time sha tell, I'm in so much rage right now, and I'm trying my possible best to control myself and not to loose my anger over this.

Finale is today

Why so early??

sureteeboy:
Seems the battery is getting weaker at an exponential rate, and I'm suspecting the fan may be responsible for this.
What is the make and model of your fan?

The battery that came with my fan is trash, it no longer lasts more than 2 to 3 hours after fully charged..... Where as the battery I bought is still so strong like the day I bought it.

The name of my fan is Qasa, it's an 18 inch fan

sureteeboy:
I bought the mercury battery as you suggested, but I haven't really tested it much because our light has been a bit stable these days.
I'll surely drop a feedback one of these days

OK that would be great, I would greatly loved to hear ur review about the mercury battery.

sureteeboy:
Thanks. That means you'll have to keep changing the terminal connections from the small battery to the big battery every now and then.

Yes that's it, but it only applies only when there is no light for up to 24 hours, by then the small battery must have run down. So I'm left with no choice than to use the big battery.

Folahanmi19:
Wow, that's impressive, can i have your whatsapp number pls, i got some questions boss

08032568749

mosak:
Pls, what the name of the battery?

That's the battery, I don't even know if that's the name but all the same

I have ordered for the mercury battery, it's been 9 day's now and jumia is yet to deliver it to me. I would advise u to get that one, seems it's a very powerful battery. I would have dropped reviews if jumia has delivered to me at the expected delivery date, at least I would have tested it.

sureteeboy:
Thanks.
2½ hours isn't bad to charge the battery.
I'll get the 6A charger because of price.
When charging, do you always disconnect the wire you connected to the battery terminal wires coming from the fan first or you leave it like that.

I use the fan charging to charge my small battery that came with the fan, while I use the charger I bought to charge the big battery I bought, but sometimes I uses the charger I bought to charge the small battery for faster charging

Pic 2 is the fan and it's small battery, while pic 1 is the big battery and the 6A charger

sureteeboy:
Good Evening
How long does it take to charge the battery with the battery charger?

It takes 2 hours 33 minutes to charge the battery from 0 - 100%

These charges has different Amps, starting from 1Amps, the higher the Amps the more faster it will charge ur battery. My charger is 6Amps

My friend charger is 10A and he normally charges his battery to full in under one hour.

Folahanmi19:
Sir how was it... Give us testimony o

I didn't actually bought the original mercury battery, I bought another product. After changing it to full charge and leaving it for some reason hours, It lasted me 23 hours 16 minutes slightly medium speed. I haven't tested the highest speed yet. The battery is really good.

oluwaseyi0:
95% percent of those names don't look like typical northerners name, they look English-like or Christian names

Don't you know that 99.9% of Southern kaduna are Christians?

sureteeboy:
Thanks Sir.
I'll look for it as well.

...
It's this one, right?

Yes ooooo, that's it

sureteeboy:
Thanks.
How did you connect the battery to the fan? Did you follow the process highlighted by the other guy or the battery fits into the fan by default
And how much is the battery itself

I followed the process highlighted by the guy, aside that I would have done it speedily because I'm an electrician. The new battery is big, it didn't fit into the fan by default, so it's outside the fan.

I bought the battery 11,500 but I have seen a much powerful battery on jumia, same 12v and 18ah battery.... The name is mercury, it's 13k I would be buying it soon because it's a very strong and original battery than I the one I got.

Folahanmi19:
It will last o, you cnt regret it , i bought a 12v7ah avatar battery for my polystar fan and it lasts me all through the night... Get a battery charger for the first one you bought, charging it with fan will be slow

Your battery looks really big and rugged, I'm planning on buying another big battery, mercury battery 12v 18ah

Once I buys it then I don't think I would ever and ever on my Gen again, the only thing that normally makes me to on it is because of fan. Too much heat these days

Folahanmi19:
It will last o, you cnt regret it , i bought a 12v7ah avatar battery for my polystar fan and it lasts me all through the night... Get a battery charger for the first one you bought, charging it with fan will be slow

Thank you so very much, I have already ordered a charger from Jumia... You're so very right, charging with the fan is so very slow... I ordered a charger from Jumia this morning, it costs 9,100 naira

I will keep you updated if the new big battery I bought really lasts. I can't wait to test it, I just can't wait.

.

sureteeboy:
Can you post pictures of the battery? If it's something I can obtain around here as well

Here is it...... 12V 18AH


Someone told me that it can power the fan for up to 20 hours on the highest speed, I don't know how true is it yet





Charging this battery with the fan is pretty slow, so I ordered a 12V 6AMPS car battery charger from Jumia this morning, it cost #9,100


I really hope at the end I'm not disappointed because I have really spent on this fan.

sureteeboy:
I didn't eventually try it. I couldn't get the battery when I looked for it then. I had to get another fan

I bought a rechargeable fan day before yesterday, Qasa 18 inch fan..... And then yesterday I bought a big battery 12V 18AH, am still charging the big battery, I have charged for 9 hours already but it's yet to get full..... Once I'm done charging I will test and drop my reviews here. I might be forget though, please try and remind me.

sureteeboy:
This sounds great. Thanks Sir

Please did you later tried this out? And how was it?

Hmmmmm, interesting

prettyboi1:
What is USA's concern with China owning Taiwan tho? Just like China owns Taiwan, USA owns Puerto Rico, Just like China owns Hong Kong, USA owns Guam (a country in far-away Asia) & USA owns several other territories including Samoa. The hypocrisy is usually so stinking & annoying.

Please go and read about the Taiwan and US treaty, an attack on Taiwan is an attack on USA. Doesn't matter whosoever attacked Taiwan China, Isreal, Germany etc. The treaty was signed and stamped long ago. I have forgotten the year.