₦airaland Forum

woooooohoooooooooooo! lets go again baby,
now lets role play a bit.

I will get on my back and you get on your knees, yes baby, put your face between,

Thats right.

hmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmm,

EVERYBODY CLOSE YOUR EYES OOO!

Candy lips, your lips sho nuff is candy!!!! but i bet you my nana is candy-er than your lips. PUCKER UP BABY!

This morning, i got into a squabble with a Boston Police Officer. The mutha fawka stopped me saying i was above speed limit and then started asking me dirty questions. Have you had any alcohol, blah blah blah.

Mutha fawka, its 7am in the morning. I am decked out in the baddest suit. I am driving my fucking convertible, on my way to fucking work, and then you ask me if i am drunk? Do i look drunk? Give me my fucking ticket and stop disturbing me.

I yapped his life, and i asked him if HE HIMSELF was drunk, and then i got scared after i asked him that, thinking he would put me in handcuffs, then i played the race card quickly.

DID YOU STOP ME BECAUSE I AM BLACK? Fucking bastard turned red, and gave me my ticket and i bounced, ran my fingers through my weave, put my Chanel Sunglasses on, and faded.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
ohmigoooooooooooooodneeeeeeees!!!!! candy lips, you are so amazing!!!!

Dont stop, awwwwww, please dont stop what you are doing,

*explosions, orgasmic bliss*

I think i need a ciggarette,

CANDY, want to go again?!

I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Candy Lips, you lips are definitely made of honey,

Now my love, now that we have kissed,

Come play with me under the sheets,

NOW ALL OF UNA, MAKE UNA CLOSE YA EYES.

IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, VAMOOSE FROM THIS THREAD. ITS ABOUT TO GET X RATED UP IN HERE.

Mr Mayor, you seem to know too much, Abi na you?

I don put my Inspector Gadget sunglasses, so you berraa watchout!

ajibey, piss off and quit playa hating.

Candy lips and I know what the deal is. I have declared him my husband on this website, any tresspassers will be serioulsy dealt with.

He knows that he is the sugar in my tea and the elsastic in my putu (underwear) and the G in my STRING, and the song in my thong, do i need go on?

My love, My Candy Lipped love,

You came too late,

As i type, the last breaths leave my mouth ever so sharply,

As i type, i think of you my love, and what was meant to be.

You left me, in the cold

You left me, oh you left me

And now i have sipped the poison,

There is no cure, but one,

YOUR LIPS,

Only your lips Candy, is the only thing that can save me,

Now Kiss me, That i might live and love you for all of eternity,

Oh my candy lips,

**I don dey die ooo, make you kiss me quick quick, i don rubb lipstick finish, now pucker up baby**

MY CANDY LIPS, OH MY CANDY LIPS, WHERE ART THOU?

MY HEART YEARNS FOR THEE!

I HAVE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW AND CANNOT FIND YOU.

OH MY CANDY LIPS

THIS POISON I SHALL DRINK,

*gulp gulp gulp burp*
i DON DIE.

Kai my brothers! Make una no worry. You see, we naija people are natural born hustla's. As in, i know you men will be great men because your hearts are on point.

Thunda faya all these useless men wey dey here, infact, may ya pricks all fall off. AMEN.

Meanwhile, the correct woman that will love you for you, is on the way. Like i said, Bab for upstairs no dey sleep.

And all those oppressors, one day one day, the truth shall come out abi? no make una no worry una selves.

You guys are good men.

If Bobbie Mae talk am, so shall it be. You people are good men and you guys will amount to nothing but SUCCESS. See as i dey pray for una. Abeg someone crown me the DEACONESS.
But i mean it, yall will be successful and you will have good wives and wonderful children.

You just wait and see.

And all you disgraceful naija men here in Yankee and Jand, na only time, walahi, una kini go fall off. Make una wait. Una go dey kpansh one day and your kini go just drop for floor. Rubbish. Kpanshing and impregnating young gals up and down, Dapo/Femi/Emeka/Ibro(all naija guys) the original lagos gigolo. Rubbish

awww see i got Jay all upset and what not.

Jay you know i WUV you right? No vex.

Okay (placing my right hand on my left breast/chest) I SWEAR NOT TO INSULT AGAIN ON THIS THREAD. I SWEAR THAT IF I AM INSULTED, I WILL TAKE IT, EAT IT, DIGEST IT AND NOT SHIT IT OUT (in other words, i wont be insultive).
I swear not to make Jaybaby mad again.

Jay, no vex.

The hieffer (oops) got me all heated. But i promise not to be insultive again. Ma bi nu si mii, (ohmigoodness, i actually can write in Yoruba, i am killing a skunk this afternoon).

MUAH!

Zebudaya i wont let go yet, Chanel is only a tip of the iceburg. I like Gucci too.

Jay you have spokeneth the trutheth, that we females argue on nothing-eth. So now i will put down my red flageth and put up the white flageth.

Emad, what do you sayeth, lets call for peace. What do you sayeth

Hopefully now you are convinced that i am educated. I just shot you with Macbeth.

Jaybaby sorry for the madness going on. The girl wont let me be.

Dirty Pant, Yes you Emad, you are a dirty pant.

Okay i am done. I swear. I wont say another word, i just had to say the whole dirty pant thing,

bwhahahaha, okay i promised i wouldnt respond but pleeeeeeeeaaaase i just had to do this one last time.

I should go get myself a PhD,

Dont be fooled by my online persona,
B.A. Psychology- Howard University
M.S. Psychology- N.Y.U

P.H.D- starting next year,
So dont you worry, about my educational back ground. You on the other hand? What are your stats

OGBOMOSHO UNIVERSITY IN ALAKUKO?
Are you even educated?

Trust me lets not bring education into play here. I am highly educated. Infact i am so educated its disgusting.

Now you are the one thats not educated because it takes one educated person to recognize another and since you couldnt recognize that i was educated then you are a DUNCE in the highest order.

Your popsie is the one that speaks animal language. You are mad.

You are the one that started getting personal not me. Dont phuck with me hoe, you dont know who the phuck i is. Dont let a faceless screenname fool you. (You like the American English? DOPEMU!)

Yes i accept i can act a fool but dont come at me on some sick shit and then think that i wouldnt get back at you (You like this one too? ODE)

Mansions are talking, Face me i Face you is talking, (Gosh i always wanted to say that!!!!) (Now this is one some naija shit, i bet your nipples are getting hard).

Local imbreed.

When i was buying ice cream at the Den in GRA back in the day, you hadnt even heard of Vanilla.

Do me a favor and Bleep off, or go self-service on a candle stick.

YES I SAID SO.

CHIEF MRS. ME ME ME. Oh i love it!

All i know is that MUNA has played the BEST KISSING SCENE i have ever seen in my life. EVER EVER EVER!
His flick with Genevieve (He lives in Me). Omo that kissing scene was insane.

I think he is hot too. For sure.

Never been speechless. I always have a come back even if its straight out the ass (as in dumb).

When was the last time you smoked weed?

OKAY FINE, EMAD, I LIKE TU FACE, NOW GO GOBBLE ON SOMETHING. Satisfied sweetie.

Secondly, how dare you ask me why i am on this site, you on the other hand, need to ask yourself that question.

Is this Nairaland or is this www.tuface.com? Okay, so i am on this site for Nairaland and not for tuface. Why am i on this post woulda been a proper question. I am on this post cause i phucking feel like it. Not only that, i am a bossay chick. I go where i want, when i want and say what i want wehenever i feel like it. There you go. Eat your flippin heart out. Please and let me know when Tu Face bought out NAIRALAND so i can feed that to the tabloids. You are a dunce shey you know.
Ofcourse imma have an attitude when you are coming at me all retarded and what not. I wont be responding to you any longer. Go find someone your own size to pick on. Overweight baboon. I bet you tu face woudlnt even kpansh you with his eyes closed. EMAD. DEFENDER OF THE PHUCKING UNIVERSE. MISS VOLTRON. Commoti jare.

Uchenna, the chick is trying to eat me out between my thighs, she needs to focus her energy on something else.

What is wrong with walking? Buy me a pair of Chanel Earrings and take me walking and surprise me with it. That is a fantabulous date right there. Fa shizzle

EMAD, infact you must be TuFace himself and Emad, you truly are MAD. Your kisses wont even turn my panties wet for the slightest second, neither will one from your alter ego Tu Face.

If i took what you said personal, i woulda cursed the shit outta you. But no, i didnt. Instead i gave you a scenario on what i would do with Tu Face if i was alone with him.

Now get yoru lips off my clit and leave me alone, go gobble on Tu Faces nutts,

Cheers!

Nothing Sugar! just chillin, working hard so i can find a bomb diggity wedding dress and come scoop your ass up and take you straight to the alter,
yes mommy and daddy told me all my life, that i can have and take whatever i want. So please go and find yoru tux, preferrably white, and those lips, keep em candy, i like candy.

Fa shizzle!

Okay i dont hate the dude but i am not a fan of his. Das all. Simple and short and if Tu Face and I were alone together. I would have my tape recorder. You dont know me, they call me Nigeria's Oprah! I will ask him questions, that is what i would do if i were alone with him. I would ask him about his affairs, his baby momma's his girlfriends, whats next after African Queen. How much he made to have his music used in Phatgurlz, and if he ever plans to settle down?
Thats what i would do.

I am not an ashewo.

Now if you will excuse me,

Donzman gimme five jare,

If the guy wasnt no Tu Face, he woulda been worse off then Freddie!

rubbish.

I have never even listened to his CD or his music one day in my life. I mean i hear it play but me, i have never gone to go and play his music. I have no interest in him, his music or what he does.

Infact he is a disgrace! Nyashing girls everywhere with no condom, gonorrehea (sp?), syphillis, HIV, AIDS, dem boku,

Heck no! am i the only one in this world that thinks Tu Face is FUGLY as all hell

Me i would carry cutlass and head up for the womans house.

Steph quick question, the woman he had a baby with? Is she Nigerian,

Apple.

WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE SAYING

GOOD FOR YOU, right now i am pulling my bottom eye lids down and i am sticking my tongue out and i am also screaming NNNNNNNNNNTOOOOOGIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the Bleep? You did all that shit and now you are here on naira land, weeping like a little biatch.

If you loved your wife, you would have told so many lies. If you loved her, you wouldnt have been chatting with yoru online DOPEMU girlfriend.

If you were so clean, you wouldnt need to delete call logs.

If you were on point, you wouldnt have another woman insult ya wife. Tell that girl that i said may thunda turn her upside down and fire her from the anus up. She is mad.

Okay now that i have unleashed my anger.

YOU MUST CHANGE. Beg her for one more chance, and let her know that you will make new amends. That you want to work it out.

Good luck!

Damn i am impressed.

See you naija men in naija saying things like "i wish i was married with two kids"

Over here in the states you will never catch a naija man saying anything like that. Instead they want to be Man Whores until their prick falls off then they then want to get married and suffa person,

Kudos to you all.

You will make it in Jesus name and you will find a good wife who will bring you many children. Your family will be the source of your joy. keep trying. Baba God no dey sleep.

Bobbie.

Kai, this post touched me oooo

EMAD Thunda faya you seven times for that statement.

If given a chance we would all want to be with him. Who the hell wants to be with him sexually like that Abegi jare. Speak for yourself.

Bobbi Mae is my real name, so the story behind my name is my existence.