You should truely explore your feelings. You might resent her not because of the reasons you think but because of the role she is playing (Daddies wife). Especially since you guys have been coping and bonding for the past seven years before she came along.

I will also say try and be nice and more approachable even if you do not feel that way, so her patience does not wear out as well.

@tewarh I understand where you are coming from. I salute your resilience and the fact you were wise to resist him which would have been difficult for you considering he his an authority figure in your life.

For those wondering why she is sharing it now. Please know that sometimes it is an heavy burden to carry alone when your trust has been betrayed in the worst possible form. She may want to share it but not with people that know her dad because of the havoc it can wreck (protecting the perpetrator because of the relationship) .


Fathers and Mothers: Children (male and female) are abused every day in their own homes(a place that should be secure), by people you trust, who have full access to them(your family members, staff, religious leaders etc).

Please be on guard!

crackhaus:

Errrm thanks, but what is your main moniker here?

There we go.Suspicious much are you . I don't require another moniker because I choose my words carefully. I read a lot but hardly comment.

crackhaus:
Has anyone here thought about how seemingly popular it is for 'liberated' women to want to exercise their liberation more in negative vices rather than positive ones?

- Men can be loud and talk about their sexual conquests, women should too. Liberation
- Men can sleep around and not be judged, women should too. Liberation.
- Men can be rude and not have to apologize for it, women should too. Liberation

Etc.

What happened to things like:
- Men have been the ones designing and building civilizations, women should begin doing this.
- Men go to space and walked on the moon, women should do that too.
- There are more male billionaires, women should aspire to this and match it.

Etc.


I just had to do this, despite my better judgment, because this is the substance I got from reading the OP, not what the majority of you are yapping about. I don't know what has happened to most women, but it seems a lot of you don't just have sense (pun intended).

Of course, those behaviours in men are equally bad...but in your so-called liberated minds, women should lower themselves to the same level of moral ineptitudes just to prove equality? Like are you people being serious?
Whatever happened to rising way above the negative things men can do/allowed to do and dignify yourselves by setting a new standard that should be emulated?

The regressive thinking being masked as progressiveness and liberation is astounding. May God help me to raise my daughter to not see men as her standard, but to set hers so men can then try to meet up.
The best way anyone should be able to do this is to build their personal library of books and literature from around the world.
If I were to ask how many of you have a library consisting of just 10 solid books with at least 500pages each, the lot of you will respond in the negative, yet you feel you know and understand anything. Where the hell then are you getting a deep knowledge of society and life in general from? From the internet? From just your own terribly limited subjective experiences?

Gosh this is becoming too much.
Ignorance has become the new fad, misinformation the new normal, simpletons the new intellectuals.

I rest.
Bukatyne take back your thread abeg.

I do not always agree with your views. But on this one you are making a lot of sense.

@op I cannot advice you on whether to marry a wife or not. I think you know the answer deep in your heart you only seek validation maybe due to external pressure.

What I want to talk about is the children. They are at an age that even if their mother was still around they would have started sharing the burden of house chores. You should teach them and supervise for a while till they get it right.

You are a super man, I must admit. You must avoid burnout, so you have to sit them down and explain to them that you need their help in running the house. Don't think they are too young to understand. You can set up a time table for them to ease adjustment.

The oldest and middle should be able to help, this are some of the chores you can teach them at their age. Loading the washing machine and offloading after you must have sorted it for them, sweeping the house, folding clothes, washing dishes, picking out and hanging next day clothes/uniform, washing water bottles, washing toilet, helping with meal preparation (picking beans, washing rice etc light work to start with). Also teach all of them to clean up after themselves immediately(you spill something you sweep it up or clean up with a rag)

Even the last child in primary 3 should be washing dishes. There is so much I could say but let me stop here.

You people attacking the Op that he abandoned his father are not being fair to him.

How many of you are from polygamous homes and know the way these settings work?

Op, there is a strategy that you have employed and has worked for you even when your father was alive. I suggest you stick with that! Choose your battles wisely!

Some of us don't understand what it means to face attacks. Because some people are against you does not mean you are wrong. You might just be misunderstood.

I wonder how tiwa can stop all promoters from calling other female artist that are very talented for a show like they are insinuating.

I think she has a lot of jobs because she has always remained in the limelight(good or bad), always dropping albums or doing collabos. Also see how she his handling this situation by ignoring their ranting and leaving other people to defend her. They will look like the bad guys, will they also blame tiwa for that?

This people forget that music is business!

To me they should focus on her business strategy and working hard on their careers. That way no body "can kill their shine".

I am not a fan of any of their music. I see this from a business standpoint.

YoungFr:

They never told me, I even went to market to get some stuff for baby and the mom but getting there I saw my baby lifeless body

That does not seem fair. But then only they know what they were thinking and the human heart is deep.

I am sorry for your loss. Sit down and take stock!
I suggest you let the relationship with the lady end here. Let her find her own husband and you try to rebuild the love and trust of your wife that you have broken. Forge ahead and let the lessons you learnt from this experience be ingrained in your heart

It is not easy for anyone to be cheated on. No matter how much you think your wife is accepting of what has happened, you have a broken woman on your hands please focus on that and your daughter.

You said the baby died and they told you after you got there? Hmmm

Lovely collection!

Please focus on your nuclear family. For your brother to say he will slap you, shows they do not respect you and even though you are an adult now, they will always treat you like a child if you do not change the way you interact with them. You already know what to do but are too scared. They know you can't cut them off. Why don't you prove them wrong.

Be strong!

Sometimes the breast bounces back after like a year and half. I am speaking from experience. Before you do anything, give it that amount of time. Then she should wear good bras

ignant:
I think I remember you stating something about your. unstable childhood. Your emotional dissociation is a coping mechanism against the pitfalls of unaffection you experienced while growing up.

It is not a phase in your case, it is how you raised yourself. Associating with people drains you. You will get easily irritated because you are wary of anything that implies companionship.

You have no idea what to do with the warmth shown to you by others. You do not understand why people even show you warmth. You have survived this far without much warmth and find it hard to understand why people show weakness, and term it "warmth".

You are ice cold as a motherfvcker.

Wow! You have described this so well

Eketem:


Check reliance HMO, prohealth, prepaidmedicare google them

Thank you

Eketem:


I am not favored or lucky neither did I call you lazy I only gave advise that will help with medical bills and prevent a situation where you will be needing donations for bills. An insurance policy of 43, 000 saved me all this stress, it paid for antenatal and birth and visits after birth, it really helped me have peace in that area.

Insurance really helps if you calmly select a good policy and clear all blurred lines.

We all go through hard times but plans like this really help, at least if you had insurance you will not be worried about money for hospital bills.




These countries have health insurance Sir

@eketem, could you please mention the insurance company and the particular policy. I will really appreciate your response