Tamar1:
alright, good morning

Tamar1:

actually the responsibility lies first on the govt to educate the parents who inturn are enlightend and can teach and send their kids to sch.

so what happens if the educated parent do not educate their kids, you still blame the government?

if u agree wit me that parents dont.know it.all, then u agree that teachers are more competent?

and what happens when the parents are more competent than the teachers, you still blame the teachers?
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Tamar1:

u haven't answered my.questions, are u saying that different scales should be used for kids with and without parents ? that they are unequal and should be treated differently?

Tamar1:

ok. let me ask you, wat are the ways std's can be transmitted? wat is a contraceptive and its functions ? [b]the fact.remains that issues concerning sexuality goes beyond sex and pregnancy. parents do not know it all [/b]and they aren't everyday slangs

very true,

it's good that you agree with me that parents can source for info elsewhere. invariably, you, we are saying that.its the responsibility of the govt and media to educate the parent who ll in turn educate the child . inother words, govt and media and schools are to blame when a child engages in early sex

of course I've never implied that they can't get this information from another means, how else can they be knowledgeable to educate their kids? from their farms?

the responsibility lies on them whether they decide to educate these kids themselves or send them to schools.

Tamar1:
u mean that a parent by virtue of the parentship knowa all about std's birthcontrol and its side effects? u wuld rather deny kids comprehensive sex ed and have parents teach dem d lil they know that have competent educators teach them?

tell me, why do you feel schools and media aren't competent? do u deny that kids are influences by outside factors and modern tech which their parents are skilled on?

don't get me wrong, these parents were once taught by teachers so why should I see them as incompetent?
teachers and government has a role to play in this also, there is no doubting that.
are you aware that there exist educated parents who not even have time for their kids? thereby leaving their kids uninfomed? what does that tell you of them?
teachers and the government can be excused from this but definitely not the parents.


back to first responsibility, do u deny the war between parents and teens and.the need for kids to do d exact.opposite of wat their parents tell them? do u deny the straines relationship dat exist bw them den? and that parents embarrassment dat der kid is growing up will not prevent them from teaching facts!

the question here is, how is their relationship?
do these parent respect their kids and allow them to participate in decisions about them or they just go ahead and threaten/impose on them?


abt d party officials, the one with the higher responsibility is d one dat has access to the masses, the grassroots so also do d media and teachers have.more access and attention of teens, children .

then the chairman needs to be impeached because he's definitely not doing his job.
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Tamar1:
u mean that a parent by virtue of the parentship knowa all about std's birthcontrol and its side effects?

Tamar1:
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who do u shift the burden to when a child is an orphan? the dead parents?
do u mean to say that its ok for other favtors like sch to come into play only wen.d parents are no more?
are you saying that different scales should be used for children with and without parents ?

Tamar1: boudicca if i were to agree with you for a nano second tha t parents are to blame, going by your definition of the tem "parent", are you not saying that government, schs and media arr.to blame since they are caregivers, protectors, nurturers and even counsel a and guide ?

maclatunji: @Boudicca, don't you feel that parents are a product of the society and any failures they have in terms of "sex education" is primarily society's failure?

@Sheba, what is the primary role of parents in the sexual enlightenment of their children?

Tamar1: ......its frightening to think that you mark your child merely by being yourself. it seems unfair , you cant assume the responsibility for every thing you do or do not do...... simone de beauvoir...

Tamar1: With globalization, Nigeria is now abreast of the trend of events all over the world. This means the exposure of our youths to the influence of foreign culture. Today, our youths with the influence of foreign permissive culture have found themselves experiencing sex at a younger age than their parents did. Bearing in mind the different constraints faced by our society with which sexuality is treated, one finds that adolescents have fallen victims to the consequences of poor sexuality and sex education due to societal reactions to issues that bother on sexuality,

true, all hands must be on deck in educating a child but my question to you is, who has the bigger responsibility?


Definition of Terms
For clarity purpose, I shall define the key words in this discourse—
A parent simply put is a child's mother or father or a guardian.
A child has been defined differently. The Children and Young Persons Act, The Marriage Act, The African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of a Child all defines it to mean a person under the age of 14, 18 & 21 respectively. However, The Child's Right Act standardized the age of a child to be 18 yrs in all matters thus; we can rightly assert that a teenager is also a child.
Teenage period is a period when the child's sexual awareness is at its peak. This is the period of psychosexual developments between the onset of sexual maturity (puberty) and early adulthood, during which self identity, sex roles and relationship with other persons are defined by the young people. (Action Health Incorporated, 1996).
Sexual education as defined by Alli in Mba (2006:85) is a:
“Planned process of education that fosters the acquisition of factual information, the formation of positive attitudes, beliefs and values and the development of skills to cope with the biological, socio-cultural and spiritual aspects of human society”
Sexuality education simply means the presentation of every aspect of the sexuality of an individual exactly as it is, and equipping the individual with all options there are to enhance a better understanding of sexuality in its holistic manner. This ensures a proper understanding of an individual’s identity as well as his total view of sexuality as it concerns religious beliefs, ethics, rules and regulations.

Sexuality education ensures a better understanding of the influence of society on every day life. Thus, the ability to exercise self-control and determine one’s sexual behavior by conforming to certain principles as they concern sexual behaviors, are the bases of sexuality/sex education. In the opinion of Mba (2006:19) the following should constitute the content of sexuality education:

Human growth and development
Relationships
Life skills
Sexual attitude and behavior
Sexual health
Society and culture

People often believe that ‘’sex education’ ’refers only to sexual behavior i.e. sexual intercourse and not the full array of topics that comprise sexuality, but it goes far beyond that. These include information and concerns about abstinence, body image, contraception, gender, human growth and development, human reproduction, pregnancy, relationships, safer sex (prevention of sexually transmitted infections), sexual attitudes and values, sexual anatomy and behavior, sexual health and orientation, and sexual pressure. Parents are not expected to be versed in all these, which leave the larger burden on the shoulders of educators (government) to properly teach to teenagers in a safe and nonjudgmental environment so that young people can learn about sexuality in a healthy and positive context, and the media through public enlightenment
Parents as Sexual Educators
Parents, especially mothers are regarded as the primary conveyer of sexuality education to kids, as well as the first source of contact to which teens should come in contact with sexuality issues. But in a country where sexuality education has always been viewed as a prerogative of the married or soon to be married in the society, most Nigerian mothers due to cultural limitations and inhibitions prevent them from engaging in sincere discussions about sexuality and sex with their children, it becomes assiduous for parents to bear the larger percentage of this burden. This agrees with the views of Durojaiye (1972:69) that the Nigerian society believes that knowledge of sexual topics will lead to moral deterioration of young people and ignorance maintains innocence.

With a high rate of illiteracy in rural Nigeria, the task of placing sexuality education in the hands of these women is a dangerous precedence; hence, the only source of correct sexuality and sex is the school system. Appropriate information on sexuality and sex is a vital source of enhancing the quality of life of our youths, which they cannot be taught by their illiterate mothers. Also, since most parents hardly spend quality time with their children to discuss issues about life, little could be said to be achieved in that regard. This could be because our culture hardly encourages conversations between children and adults, talking down to children or ordering is a better accepted norm.

[quote author=Tamar1]Though some parents are more proactive in their approach to sex education, they however represent the minority. A recent national survey showed that eight in 10 parents want schools to teach their kids about sex education, an indication that kids aren't learning at home, only half of adolescents reported a "good talk" about sex with their mothers in the past year, and less than a third reported such a discussion with their fathers. This is where the schools (government) and the media become defined and onerous. If one goes by the multifarious social problems plaguing the Nigerian society in recent times, one will appreciate the urgent need for the government and other relevant bodies to wade in and give parents a helping hand in the appropriate education on issues concerning sex early in life[quote]

From the above research, it can be deduced that parents are neglecting their responsibility and leaving it in the hands of teachers, hence,.
"only half of adolescents reported a "good talk" about sex with their mothers in the past year, and less than a third reported such a discussion with their fathers."
Allotting the Blame

An early appreciation of the relationship between sex and health and a fulfilling life is of utmost importance since prevention is better than cure. Sexuality education reveals the intricacies of human physiology as youths gain a better understanding of the source of motivation both sexes, lust and passion of life. The dearth of information on sexuality has been the bane of our society. Without proper and factual socio-demographic characteristics of teens in the country, schools (government) lack the necessary ingredient (information) that would have served as a catalyst to curbing sexuality among teens. This would have formed a basic foundation of a lifelong educational process for the transition of teenagers to adulthood.

[quote author=Tamar1]It is in reference to the above that the greater burden falls upon the shoulders of the government (schools), the media and not the parents, through proper and adequate sexual education. Adequate information through a good sexuality education program that should have brought about responsibility in the expression of these teenagers sex life and responsibility in social relationships is therefore lacking. Who else is to blame for this if not the government, whose various agencies in health matters have been found wanting towards their duties and the media negating its duty of being the society’s watchdog.[quote]

Parents have a direct and one on one contact with these kids, not the media or government. A child firsts call of socialization is their parents

[quote author=Tamar1]Inadequate or poor knowledge of one’s sexuality can evoke a series of negative outcomes that could stifle and permanently jeopardize an individual’s wellbeing and therefore useful contributions to the development of society. This is because inadequate information about appropriate sexual behaviors can lead to at-risk sexual behaviors which have grave consequences that can impact negatively on our socio-economic life. It can ruin a whole generation and render the whole country stagnant for a long time. Where else can a child learn properly the consequences of engaging in illegal sexual activities if not in a school since teachers are usually equipped with the right tools to teach children about difficult but important matters of sexual health/sexuality.[quote]

A child can learn properly the consequences of engaging in illegal sexual activities first from the parents, the teachers only serve as their reminders.

This would have been achieved by schools providing proactive, continuing sex-education programs that start early and continue throughout high school, an education that would be age-appropriate, providing the necessary information in a gradual, natural way that corresponds to each stage of development. But the government has failed to provide schools with the necessary framework on which sex education would thrive, and well trained educators in the field of sexuality. This has created a huge void between teenagers and the type of information they receive which parents have been grappling with to fill.
With the world now becoming a global village media technology such as TV, MOBILE PHONES and the INTERNET has become a veritable tool of passing across information. These technologies without proper and strict regulations have left many parents unprepared for the challenge on how to regulate and monitor their child’s time with such technologies, exposing them to dangers of media effects with regards to viewing of explicit adult contents such as; pornography. In this wise, by directly linking the consequences of teenage sexual activities to media effects cannot be overemphasized.

Conclusion

With the sheer number of school dropouts among females due to unwanted pregnancies and ill health lends credence to the need for a sound sexuality education in our schools and increase in unnecessary loss of lives through STIs, abortion and poor care during pregnancies are also consequences of improper or poor sexuality education. Nigeria cannot continue to live in denial and isolation of other parts of the world, by solely expecting parents to bear the larger burden. Nigerian youths now experience their first sexual acts at an earlier age than their parents without adequate preparation and exposure to correct information like their counterparts in other cultures that are more sexually expressive; it therefore behooves on the government and media to properly educate these teenagers.

I say, schools (government) and the media, not the parents should be blamed for the consequences of sexuality in adolescents through lack of proper and adequate sexual education both in schools and the society in general. If this can be done, teenagers will develop the right type of attitudes about their sexuality if they are properly educated to do so. Government should as a matter of urgency make sex education a full curriculum subject in schools, while the media plays a backup role to the government by making use of its medium (TV, Magazines and Internet) to enlighten the public.

Thank You.

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