₦airaland Forum

Source...

http://www.ynaija.com/childnotbride-stella-damasus-takes-on-senator-yerima-live-on-al-jazeera-watch/?utm_source=buffer&utm_campaign=Buffer&utm_content=buffer7ec50&utm_medium=twitter

Patrick Obahiagbon, the Chief of Staff to the Edo State Governor, Adams Oshiomhole, in this interview with GBENRO ADEOYE, talks about his controversial way of speaking and why he chooses to speak that way. ENJOY!

What is your educational background?

I am by the grace of the celestial choir, a legal practitioner, a public administrator, an international historian and a diplomat. I earned a degree in Law and was called to the Nigerian Bar as a solicitor and advocate of the Supreme Court of Nigeria about 25 years ago and I do also have a double-barreled Master’s degree in Public Administration and in International History and Diplomacy.

Why do you always speak ‘big grammar’?

I am not really consensus ad idem with those who opine that my idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it’s just that I am in my elements when the colloquy has to do with the pax nigeriana of our dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate against the alcibiadian modus vivendi of our prebendal political class.

How do you talk to your wife, children and even your friends?

I relate with my family and friends very warmly and in an atmosphere of camaraderie, stripped of my confutational habiliment and gladiatorial homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed and celestially attuned soul personality.

Is this the way you proposed to your wife, speaking high tech grammar?

Of course, the business of the day when I interfaced with my wife on matters of the heart had to be in plain Caeser’s language and you can decipher why that had to be so. The matter in view did not permit itself of sphinxian conundrum.

It’s a long time ago, so I can’t remember the exact words I used. We had a relationship for ten years before we got married. We’re looking at close to 20 years ago.

How does your family understand your English?

My family and friends understand me perfectly just the same way you understand me now though, I must admit that it depends on the issues on the piazza.

Is this the way you were speaking in your school days?

I’m sure if you confer with my school mates they will tell you that I no longer speak what those who just know me now call “grammar.” I could speak for about twenty minutes when I was in the university and you won’t understand one word of what I said. I must say I have deteriorated in my grammatical construct.

How did you start speaking in this manner?

It all happened when my father brought me a teaser which stated that good orators had ruled the world and you must have to be a feisty orator if you must rule the world. As an impressionable young man, I alacritously threw myself into the whirligig of improving my usage of words by amassing new words on a daily basis.

Did you write exams in school in these big words?

I used such words very-very freely in my exams both at the secondary school and in my university and little wonder I had the misfortune of my English results being seized intermittently in my O’ Levels.

WAEC released my results for the other subjects and withheld my English result. This happened for about three years. Twice, I passed the University Matriculation Examination but I could not proceed to the University because of my English results that were not released. At the end of the day, it was released after the third attempt.

Didn’t you have problems with your teachers?

It no doubt gave me serious issues at the university and that is because some, if not most of my lecturers, ran away with the erroneous impression that my attitudinal predilection had a deprecable tinge of academic braggadocio and intellectual megalomania. But this assumption was both mendacious and a fallacious ad hominem. I could not but take solace in that Latin apothegm which states that O Tempora! O Mores.

Was English your best subject?

My best subject in secondary school was government and religion and am sure that I was drawn to religion because, I now know as a student of Rosicrucian mysticism, that I was a student of divine light in my last incarnation. As for government, I just fell in love with the subject due to my early attraction in life to issues of political-economy.

So what did you score in English language?

English language was of course my hobbyhorse and passion but like I earlier asseverated, my results were constantly guillotined to my utter chagrin that I had to lapse into a jeremiad of lachrymoseim for a period of aeon. I would need to check the result again to be sure of my score.

Do you pray the same way you speak?

God understands all languages, my brother and I pray to God using any word that pops up. May I posit that the key points in prayers are your sincerity, purity of heart, walking within the compass and to what extent are you ready and worthy of receiving the benediction of the cosmic and the cosmic masters because as we say in mysticism- “when the students are ready, the masters would appear.”

Take my words my brother that more than seventy per cent of humanity don’t know how to pray but that is a matter for another day.

By the way, are there other names you call God?

God is variously known as Jehovah, Yahweh, The Great Grand Architect of the Universe, The Cosmic Host and several other names known alone to heirophants but which names are so ineffable for me to mention here.

Do you know that many people don’t take you too seriously when you talk because they think you are not communicating?

Why will I be perturbed from ensconcing myself in the palatable arms of Morpheus because people have deprived themselves of the cultivation of the regime of the mental magnitude? I read all the farrago of baloney and vacuous bunkum from pepper soup objurgators. The spirit of animadversion remains their fundamental human right. It also remains an indubitable fact that I get millions and millions of requests daily from people all over the world requesting for my verbal mentorship which positive cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my equipoise and righteous sense of pachydermatous garb. I cannot put my nose to the grindstone daily and expect to be understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi, verging on pepper souping, goat heading, suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising. Has a philosophical wag not once pontificated that things of the spirit are spiritually discerned and that it takes the deep to call the deep? We will speak more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo another day.

You were there when a teacher in your state couldn’t pronounce ‘solemnly’, how did you feel?

I was indeed sad that a teacher in Edo State could not pronounce a simple word as ‘solemn’. That was certainly one of my low moments in the service of Edo State but the eulogies must go to Comrade Adams Oshiomhole who put in place the infrastructure that made it possible to detect such an egregious ambience and this government would stop at nothing in cleansing the Augean stables.

Have you ever considered organising English classes in Edo State?

I would have loved to organise English classes, my brother, but you will agree with me that I am sufficiently busy just now.

Why do you pull your trousers up beyond the waist?

Hahahaha….That trousers style is called Yohji Yamamoto. It was my own audacious statement to remonstrate against the pervasive tendency of Nigerians especially our youths that took to the practice of putting on trousers exposing their lower anatomical contours and I will do it over and over again.

When you speak to Caucasians of English origin, how do they react to you?

My friends that are whites simply marvel and sometimes get maniacally bewildered when we engage, most times to my consternation.

Do you think that you understand English language better than the owners of the language?

I have never had the ambition to know the English language more than the owners. However, I must mention that they are shocked most times to find out several words from me they never heard of that existed in the dictionary. Yet, those words are supposed to be theirs. Na so we see am.

Have you ever met with the Nobel Laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka? And what’s your opinion of him?

Professor Wole Soyinka is an international personality. It’s either you have met him personally or by reputation. He is a great man and I enjoy reading him anytime, any day.

Can you ever be caught speaking what many would consider as normal English?

I speak in plain Ceasers language or what you call the normal language and let me tell you that I will hold my own even in pidgin conversation. No just try me at all at all o.

What is your take on the ongoing crisis in the PDP?

The crisis in PDP? All I can say is that I join some people to dey laugh o and he be like say my laugh go tay well well o.

Are you likely to contest for a political office?

I am still in politics, serving the good and amiable people of Edo State. Being the Chief of Staff to the comrade governor is in itself an art of daily political engineering.

Do you look forward to developing your own dictionary?

My own dictionary? I have never really given that a thought, but there is a young man in one of our universities who travelled all the way to meet me in Benin. His doctoral thesis is on “Obahiagbonism as a style of language.”

How many dictionaries do you read a day and how often do you read dictionaries?

I have read and still do read a vaudeville of dictionaries from Websters to Funk and Wagnalls, from Cambridge to Oxford dictionaries, from Black’s Law Dictionary to Encarta and from Encyclopedia Britannica to Foreignisms, etcetera. I developed my corpus of vocabulary by reading omnivorously. I have also spent nothing less than an hour daily on my dictionary for over twenty years. So, whereas the dictionary for most people is a mere occasional reference point, it is for, me a vade-mecum. It may also interest you to know that there is much to learn from our daily newspapers.

You seem to mix English with other languages…

On mixing of languages; that comes with reading omnivorously. You cannot but pick these words here and there if you have an audacious reading culture.

Is any of your children like you?

My children are still growing but I petition the celestial choir and cosmic hosts to give them the gift of kissing the hybla bee.

What is your favourite quote?

One of my favorite quotes is from the sapiential mind of the late Ikene philosopher, Papa Jeremiah Obafemi Awolowo, when he was quoted as saying that, “the greatest glory is not in never falling but to rise up after a fall.”

Are you planning to contest in 2015?

I always feel flattered and smile with delight when I hear positive commentary on my tenure at the National Assembly and the wish of Nigerians to see me back at the National Assembly. I am humbled but as a student of mysticism, nothing happens in my life by accident. I am a robot in the hands of God and from that point of view therefore, 2015 would take care of itself. All my efforts just now my brother is geared towards complementing the efforts of the comrade governor in the total transmogrification of Edo State which is enough to chew at the moment. Let me however use this opportunity of your question to appreciate my numerous admirers all over the world.

How are you coping with the Governor of Edo State, knowing that the two of you have strong personalities?

When two or more personages are united only by the bonds of rendering service, that in itself becomes an agglutinating fragrance. In any case, I am very clear that Comrade Oshio Baba is the Governor of Edo State and I am his privileged Chief of Staff. So we are working together very harmoniously and in an ambience of conviviality in our unstoppable desire in taking Edo State to the next level.


Source. https://m.facebook.com/informationnigeria/posts/10151726838364822

Cute baby...I like them smart

That dude got brains....if it were in the US I bet they will recruit him sharply for proper cause......


But,

As na naija, I just pray that jesus will not continue to "wept" lol


#Wasted talent

Both are good though

Olamide....reminds me of 'Eni duro' the guy killed it

Phyno........Ghost mode....lols them no dey see me

Both are good though

Olamide....reminds me of 'Eni duro'

Phyno........Ghost mode

It's best you hit the hammer on the nail. I tell you there is no better way to put it, truth is always bitter.........


I sure hope the dude has learnt something, don't worry he will adjust..............

And what would this be?

[quote author=GH-ONE]I want to downgrade my S/W version from 312p to 302p and report my finding to you. Because it beats my imagination why 69XII can't pick Irib channels. I had Irib @ 87% on my 69XII way back February. I wonder why it can't do this time around.[/quote]Why do that @GH-ONE. Am also using srt4669XII, all my arabsat packages including IRIB are displaying very well

Arabsat packages- 83
Irib-72

Location - PH, R/state, nigeria

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

How Nigeria Students Are Selling Their Sperm In Lagos

persons get wed for distinct causes. While some request companionship in wedding ceremony, many proceed into it for the reason of pro creation. For twosomes who gaze ahead to having young kids immediately after wedding ceremony, being announced ‘infertile’ by professionals is like a death sentence.
It is generally acquiesced that it takes two to have a baby and every twosome is anticipated to be in optimum well-being to have offspring, well-being experts claim men are having more fertility challenge now.

Sperm concentration in men is said to have decreased by a third since 1990s while sperm numerate is said to have declined by half over the past 50 years.

investigations are also displaying genetic abnormalities in sperm particularly in older men. For men thus, amount, quality and mobility of spermatozoa are seen as significant factors in fertility.

Since the male factor is a famous cause of infertility in couples, sperm donation has become crucial in aided conception treatment.

A study by the Society for the Study of Male Reproduction asserted that “a male component is solely to blame in about 20 per cent of infertile twosomes and contributory in another 30 to 40 per cent.”

According to professionals, even when sperm figures are large, a high percentage of men may have DNA damage that considerably impairs the possibilities of natural conception. in addition to, male sperm deteriorates with age the identical way it does for women.

investigations have furthermore shown that if a man has poor health, fumes, drinks too much or has a awful diet, it’s very likely his sperms are also going to be unhealthy.

really, investigation by PUNCH displayed that sperm has become a commodity in high demand in Lagos. The head Consultant and Head, Obstetrician and Fertility Department, Eko Hospitals, Dr. Adegbite Ogunmokun, said fertility problem, founded on recent experience, had tilted more towards the male component.

He said, “If 10 twosomes arrive in, there will be difficulty with the male in six of them, utilising our parameter of 20 million sperm per millimetre. But 10 to 15 years before, maybe about four out of 10 men would have problem.”

hit correspondents, who visited some fertility hubs in Lagos, learnt that more men are having reduced sperm count, therefore necessitating the need for more volunteer donors. But because donors are shock, fertility clinics offer as much as N50,000 to men who are involved in trading their sperm.

They furthermore pay more when sellers have exceptional features that the beneficiaries are looking for.

Like blood sellers, enquiries display that numerous persons in Lagos, especially students, now sell their sperms anytime they need cash.

A scholar of the University of Lagos, who identified himself as John, said he had traded sperm to a couple of fertility hubs in Lagos. John said he had been funding his learning for the past two years with what he earned from selling his sperm.

John said he was introduced to the programme by a ally and that he had in turn conveyed in two other associates to ‘business’.

“I’ve traded to a number of fertility centres. The cash has actually helped me to stay in school. It takes care of my tuition and some other individual needs,” John said, with a assess of approval.

“It’s cooling money, really and I’m also doing a service to mankind by helping out some people in need. Even friends that I presented to it have not turned back since then.”

An employee in a Lagos fertility clinic, who identified himself as Olufunsho, notified hit that some women would pay any allowance to get a sperm trader with the features they desire.

He said, “We pay N50,000 here but there are times when women arrive in and demand that, at all cost, they should get a big man. The individual can earn more when they make such requests, particularly if we don’t have any that aligns the profile in our bank.

“There was a time a woman came and demanded that we get a big man for her at all cost. I showed her the trials we had, but she did not like the profile. She said she was not persuaded with the heights. And we were unable to get what she wanted from the sellers that came at the time.

“The sellers that came then were either AS, or affirmative with hepatitis B or had reduced sperm count. We had up to twelve sellers that came and we were incapable to get anybody. In such situations, we could offer a alallotmentment more when we find the right individual. occasionally, such persons are also in a position to discuss for what they want.”

However, subsequent drops appeal lesser allowances of cash for the same trader.

To deal sperm, the individual, according to Olufunsho, should stay off sex for five days. He undergoes some tests to confirm that he is not HIV positive and that he also has wholesome sperm amidst other ones.

He said, “If the same person is still involved and we still need him, he would replicate the screening method again. We pay N10, 000 per ejaculation for other subsequent ones. With my own discretion, if the quality of the sperm is good and we have a famous person who needs certain thing that agrees flawlessly with that seller, we may decrease the probation period, but the sperm must be very good.

“Although that is the protocol, it could always be changed when there is not anything wrong with the person. Even if someone ejaculates the first time and in twenty minutes time, he does the identical, it is still going to be good, but not as good as the first one.”

At the diverse fertility hubs where our correspondents posed as promise sperm trader, the clinic employees made keen endeavours to have them start the method directly, by leaving body-fluid samples for tests.

On one event, a clinic worker notified one of our correspondents that he was eager to waive the two to five days’ probation time span of abstinence, after our correspondent said he wished to “sleep over it.”

The worker said, “What is there to believe about? After all, you currently said you’re not married. You can depart your body-fluid experiment for checking while you proceed ahead and believe over it.”

enquiry showed that fertility centres desire sellers between 18 and 45 years of age and anticipate them to abstain from sex, two to five days before giving sperm experiment, counting on the centre.

Other situation to be contacted by promise sperm sellers include testing contradictory to HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B and C, sickle cell and some other related to sex conveyed infections. Tests are also conveyed out to work out the count, morphology (shape) and motility of the sperm units.

In supplement, fertility hubs assertion to also location a high premium on mean intelligence, learning and lifestyle. whereas hit discovered that such assertions are not habitually true as more emphases are actually put on size and other personal attributes.

“It is not directly that we pay. We prefer AA genotype because it can be granted to anybody, unlike AS that will not be granted to just anybody,” Olufunsho supplemented.

However, an employee in another fertility clinic in Lagos, Akin, said sperm sellers could get paid inside a week of starting the process. This is possible only if they persuade the conditions.

He said, “If the motility is good, the enumerate is good and you’re alright, then, you can produce for us. If everything is alright, within a week, you can get your money.”

A 2012 study into the reproductive wellbeing of 26,600 men in France, warned of a sperm urgent situation worldwide. It said that sperm concentration has decreased by a third since the 1990s. The study found a relentless 32.2 per cent decrease in sperm engrossment over a period of 17 years.

During the European humanity of Human Reproduction and Embryology annual conference in London in July 2013, some experts, critical of the study’s validity, said it did not absolutely comprise the situation in certain localities, especially the developing world.

although, a fertility expert at Mother’s World Care, Ikeja, Lagos, Dr. Margaret Olusegun, said the position is alike in Nigeria.

She said, “A man should have a good enumerate, up to 40 to 50 million sperm per millimetre of semen up. But you find that these days, men have more trials with fertility than women.

“Although, I don’t have the statistics, men are the ones with more challenges now, even though they are the ones who drive out their wives if they can’t bear children.”

Olusegun explained that good sperm should have “at least 50 per cent motility (activeness) because sperm units can be hardworking, sluggish or dead.”

“For morphology (shape) too, which could be normal or abnormal, sperm should have up of 50 per cent normal cells. And there should not be pathogens growth,” she supplemented.

Ogunmokun described reduced engrossment of sperm as “Oligospermia.” He, however, said a sperm count with a smallest lower limit of 20 million sperm per millimetre of semen would still be considered normal. But he supplemented that any sperm concentration of less than 20 million per millimetre of semen could be categorised as gentle, moderate or critical oligospermia, depending on the enumerate.

Ogunmokun said fertility difficulties could be with the man, the woman or the two of them.

PUNCH learnt that the demand for sperm has made the fertility business a lucrative one. numerous of the fertility centres in Lagos have amenities for sperm preservation, where it’s very cold charges about N50, 000 per quarter.

Ogunmokun said, “After assemblage, the semen is processed and seminal fluid and all other things are taken. The sperm is put in little bottles and put in special containers called dewars, connected to a power source. It is stored at very low temperature and there should be an sign for monitoring should there be a change in the condition.”

He, although, supplemented that there should be a standby generator in a location like Nigeria, where power supply is unstable, as sperm can be iced for decades.

“Although, there are many other causes why people freeze sperm, somebody dwelling far away from his wife can decide to freeze his sperm for the wife’s use while he’s away. Also, somebody going for cancerous disease treatment can freeze his sperm before starting the remedy since such remedys affect sperm production,” he added.

Ogunmokun said fertility hubs aim more on university undergraduates to ensure that sperm donors have a certain degree of understanding.

He said, “The present practice is to actually employ sperm donors and the aim is on undergraduates. The aim is on students because they should be adept to supply their ID cards so that backdrop tests can be done.”

According to Ogunmokun, the perceived boost in the number of men with reduced sperm enumerate is as a outcome of disease and lifestyle customs like sitting for too long and wearing of taut underwear.

He said, “The testes are not supposed to be too close to the body because of the higher body warmth. The testes are naturally chilly, so people who journey long distances or sit in traffic for long can be prone to infertility.”

Ogunmokun advised that men should “exercise appropriately, take good nutrition, bypass taut underwear, premarital sex, cigarette and alcohol to try to avert reduced sperm count.”

although, Olusegun recognised good hygiene as key to the avoidance of low sperm count, saying, “Our natural environment is too contaminated.”

Source
http://www.africzone.com/2013/09/how-nigeria-students-are-selling-their.html?spref=tw&m=1


My comments...
#team speechless

Banks and their silly interview conditions

Brite02: @JIDESM.

Why can't I use the bonus #200 that was given to ♍e via recharge..why? Am on supersaver...

@JIDESM

Kindly attend to my question.

Whop mehnnnnn see toni body na.....

@ age 45...?

Thank God for uuuu vast.

Oya go tank baba God

@JIDESM.

Why can't I use the bonus #200 that was given to ♍e via recharge..why? Am on supersaver...

Good for them gays....

I'll still maintain been straight...

slinkman: epic quoting of an epic troll

Where is jona boy he should come and make his own reply

bennyraz: I uploaded the picture at the early hours of this morning and i took it off before you guyz would wake up.. i think, only one person saw the pix @brite02.. me sef sheet on top ur head

Make we still dey look

All eyes on bennyratz

Ɣou lack courage mehnnn I dare U̶̲̥̅ upload ur pics here for just 1 hour

Pisses on thread

Pisses on bennyraz


What goes up must come down smh

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]Awww my boo dey jealous ooo.[/quote]Awww

Spits on thread....hisssssssssssss

If Ɣou addictive to the afore-mentioned drinks, Ɣou can start by helping yourself to be drinking squeazed (bitterleaf, scentleaf, otasileaf) water...if Ɣou can, it helps to reduce amount of sugar intakes in the body...least I forget exercises are very necessary too

the first dude with shorts from the left gat ♍e rolling with laughter mehnn can Ɣou imagine

Please men don't try this at home

Eid-mubarak to all muslims

Barka da sallah

To the muslim folks...

Brite02: Please explain what U̶̲̥̅ mean by FAIR USAGE THRESHOLD/LIMIT. Because I do get messages like this but yet can not make head or tail what mtn meant by that... Please expantiate...

PLEASE THROW MORE LIGHT ON THIS @JIDESM

JideSM: Getting this message means you have reached your fair usage threshold/limit

Please explain what U̶̲̥̅ mean by FAIR USAGE THRESHOLD/LIMIT. Because I do get messages like this but yet can not make head or tail what mtn meant by that... Please expantiate...

[quote author=big-t]Omg
im on fp again What a mess!.
I am now ubiquitous!!![/quote]Lol

Season 5 episode 1

Crixus: Brother, i would have words.

Spartacus: bring words out of tongue

Crixus: A man from the lands of the dark men named Fred Amata dotes on Ilithyia and was seen sharing wine to sooth belly

Spartacus: Bring me my sword! I sent glaber to the after-life and so will i do to that black traitor by ripping co.ck out of groin!

Season 5 episode 2.

Soldier: Sir, a man was seen holding your wife in most inappropriate manner. Should we see his head lifted out of neck?

Legatus Glaber: No I would break words. Bring him quickly!

Legatus: What seekest thou with my wife and to what end do you press advantage?

Fred A: Ehh? She be your wife?

Legatus Glaber: Soldier! This man speaks with ill tongue see that he is Sent to the mines for proper words forming! Or See him to quick death!

Soldier: yes dominius.





Loool.... Ɣou guys are true followers of the movie 'spartacus'.