..

Yoighaman:


This advice is very deep....a lot of people might not understand.

Haha.. She is only attracted to the chase, once she gets it, it will no more be appealing.

You all know the story of when a girl is in a relationship, but then meets another guy who she begins to lean more into till she cheats with him and then leaves her boyfriend.

That guy she cheats with will suffer deep insecurities that may never be cured.

He will continuously struggle to reconcile the initial events with a honest narrative if he tries to pursue a true relationship with the woman.

A lot of single guys are actually afraid of commitment because of the scar sleeping with a cheating girl has caused. Especially if they ve witnessed her showing a different personality when contacted by the main guy.

The person being cheated on suffers pain, that may go, the cheater suffers a lot of guilt, but the third person will carry on insecurities that last a long time.

Be wise.

jornwhite:
As much as it is a big issue to you, i think sex position is one of the most trivia reasons to lose what you have .... both of you are virgins which means a good boy married a good gurl unlike men, women place so much value on there body so expect her transition from a good gurl to a IndecentStar to take time.
The problem here is a good boy can't corrupt a good gurl, ever wondered why good gurls settle more for bad boyz.
i am sure you didnt marry solely because of doggy or oral, she is giving you sex @least, i will advice you exercise more patience with her, marriage is a long journey which means you have all the time in the world to turn her to your preference ... to facilitate the process try to be more naughty around her, am sure you guys live alone explore every location, she might react or act up buh never hesitate express ur naughtiness freely without minding the look on her face, cos that is what wil trigger her to switch. deliberately turn her on nd insist it either doggy or gudnite

OP with due respect, don't listen to this.

I promise you she will definitely hate you more if you try the above. Women are first convinced in their minds before anything happens.Everything in life is timing. There is just something about the cheating that will nip in her mind.

I can't advise what to do else tho. You wear the shoes so know where it hurts

Ozo: A special type of simp

Cchuks27:


Just read your post on medium. Very nice creative writing skills you have got. It is almost like you're there with the person taking him/her through the story. I wish I was a good writer, I cannot sustain writing for long, almost like my thought process with writing or reading are terribly disorganized or paralyzed.

Anyway, in all, nice write up. I wish more awareness could be done for the mental health community in Nigeria.

Hey bro, just checked my login email after a long while and saw you tried to contact me, for some reason, didn't find the link to reply, but you can reach me back.
Cheers

Skmoda360:

browncarton, hope you will not go back to her later cuz you still seem emotionally confused

Not possible again. I ve mentally checked out

Binidefender:
This man or boy is such a sissy, how could you stoop so low to let a bitch manipulate you for so long,
She saw your weakness and she used it against you for long,
There are many pretty bitches out there , get yourself another one, she doesn't deserve you,

A lot of sentiments were involved. As our families knew each other, so I made a lot of escuses till it got real bad.

I have someone way hotter than her which we re starting to start off.
I believe a woman has to respect you more than she loves you, otherwise, it will all crash.

mezarddinny:
you didn't want to leave the relationship as an insecure and control freak? lmao, why do you care about these useless nonexistent words? learn to take strong decisions and stand by it.

True.. But when she has created false negative claims about me to family and friends. It hurts man

daddytime:
From the long epistle, all I could glean are these three words f
How old are you by the way? Very childish and immature disposition.

Come down from your high horse Mr. What about when she is so careful in gaslighting you and hiding "evidence". Besides, I was trying to build a honest relationship, so was always forgiving, rather than playing the same games

bdchange:

Ah hahaha I just laughed at your last statement bro. There is nothing to learn from you sir. Someone you should have ditch all this while but couldnt because of your lazy emotions. Yet you are now advising who? I can only believe you are probably 25 and below because I will be disappointed if you are older than this. Don't even know how to advise you. After every threads on naira land about all these stuffs yet you still got involved in this pitiable abysmal.

Mr old and wise.. Man of all wisdom. I hail

daddytime:
From the long epistle, all I could glean are these three words from you " insecure, emotional and controlling". That is what you are and you know it.

You are nothing but a weak pussy who wants to control the poor girl's life with your incessant calls and daily monitoring spirit and then try to make her feel or see what she'd be missing by losing you probably based on your earning power. That's some cheap emotional blackmail that won't ever earn you any genuine love.

I know you are enjoying seeing her beg you and wail as a control freak if she was my sister I would have advised her to ignore you and we both know how much of a wreck you'd become thereafter.

I have nothing to learn from your story at all. This is some kindergarten games we played over two decades ago.

Why una dey wan kill unaselves over babes I no understand. If you trust yourself very well and notice your babe trying to get one over you by cheating, how about you allow her do her thing while you do yours and wait patiently for her to come raise a hell when you have all the evidences instead of bitching about, smelling her ass and snooping on her like a whimp.

This is how guys who are awoke and secured roll.

If woman no marry two husband, e no go know which one bam pass.

Allow her in her self-destruct, don't beg or make a monkey of yourself, na she go get sense by force.

Rubbish

Seen.

Raydans:

And what is the ending....... Care to share

I did.. Check my new thread

Was to move to a very high-end brand new apartment, she has seen the pictures but never been there. She followed me there first time, but before we entered the building, I pretended I really needed her phone for an emergency. She was obviously on my back while using it till I went snooping. It basically got dramatic, neighbours got involved. In my mind, I was happy I d confirmed my suspicion. Gave her her phone back with no reaction whatsoever. She got so dramatic on something totally irrelevant with the neighbours and smashed her phone on the wall. We both drove off from there without saying anything. I then blocked her on all mediums. Few hours later, she came to my house, asking me to open to talk which I refused. Left hundreds of calls, I told her to talk from outside. She waited for hours till past midnight and came back the next day. I still won't show any reaction. I only told her from the balcony to kindly go home as I ve decided I won't let her get too familiar again. She would then go and come back to damage something in a bid to get me to react which I didn't. I then dropped off her stuff with a friend so I don't get to interact with her. Now it's literally happening every day.

Some part of me almost felt bad, but another part of me is very happy leaving her to sulk up the guilt. She was a nightmare.


I believe many guys here can learn from my experience. When she shows signs of dishonesty. Cut it off and move one. Unless you want her to manipulate you into the untrusting insecure controlling freak. Nothing good will ever come out of it.

Well, I thought I was dealing with a normal headed girl, so called  her one day and told her that I wanted to let go of the past and if she feels all these games will still not stop, let me know and I will move on. Basically I don't want to keep talking or dragging things. She said yes.. But you know.. As usual.. Too many lies continued, doing stuff in my back. At this point she will literally ignore my calls for a full day and come back in the evening with a silly escuse we both know was a lie.

I sucked up all this in. Used up all my mental strength not to react. At some point, I had to tell myself the truth,... This will never work out. But for me to leave, I won't want the story to be-the crazy guy who was insecure, emotional and controlling.

I literally wanted closure, but she won't give. Basically she will push me to the wall to react, but will not break up, so if I do, it became my fault.

I gave myself a day to end all of this, cos my life was taking a sht.. Wasn't eating or doing anything well. She basically was manipulative as she will not want me talking to other girls, but will be so secretive with her phone. I knew I needed to find the truth, but she will never tell me, so I made a plan.

Every major fight ended up with me explaining till she even started saying.. "You are talking too much. I ve heard." Yet she will go back to something funny again.

After this last breakup, I felt like a disaster, and literally begged her. Although, I would beg for like a day, then back off like 4days.. When she sees I ve stopped begging, she comes back.
All these made me totally emotionally unstable. I struggled hard at work, wouldn't eat. Yet she kept taking me for a fool. Affection was literarily non-existent, calls and communication became short and dead.

Another breakup followed suit. In fact, I did this one myself cos I wanted to test her commitment, but we mutually came back again after it.

At that point, I was mentally a wreck! I don't advise any guy to go through this crazy route.

Few days after, I saw she was daily calling nd texting the guy. I gave her an ultimatum, which she agreed to. However, the next day, she wasn't picking my calls in the evening. I drove to her place and waited and saw she came back late at night with the guy, but then she went out with her big aunt. I tried to confront her, her aunt got involved, but she spinned it all, where I felt like the wrong and went home.
.
On getting home, she broke up again. This time badly.
She didn't return calls, blocked me everywhere... Etc. Well, I ve given a whole lot for this girl, starting from the beginning. We ve had many situations she has (almost) cheated, but instead of breaking up, I assumed she needed me to explain to her why avoiding such situation was a better idea. I literally spend hours on multiple calls explaining to this girl, so it doesn't look like I am dictating, instead I am guiding.

Hi guys,
This is a follow up to my initial thread where my girlfriend.. Now ex... Asked for a one week space.

https://www.nairaland.com/5164412/she-said-she-wants-space

So a lot happened after the one week space. Honestly, my anxiety got the whole of me, cos she really drenched me emotionally. I found myself becoming a joke of my former self. From the man who will be in control, to the guy chasing for her time. She basically put me on a chasing wheel.

After the space,  I mentioned we were "working" through things for about a week, until when she did the worst. Basically arguing against me in a confrontation with her 'toaster', taking his side and calling me a liar and driving home with him. I did break up on the spot, but she still came back like she didn't realise what she did was the height. I still thought "well, maybe she didn't understand", so at the expense of my self-respect, I took her back but promised myself that when things cooled down, I will give her an ultimatum to cut off with that guy.

mayim:
@op...I just quickly glanced thru d post, didn’t read d comments and ur updates but let me quickly drop this...it is emotionally draining dating a lady with low self esteem, they are potential cheats. If she doesn’t work on it, she definitely will cheat on u, take it from someone who has been there. She loved me so much but she still did. Love is work, love is commitment, love is dedication...not just some mushy mushy feeling, if u love her, den stay and help her work on it but be prepared cos it won’t be easy, if u don’t love her dat much or u don’t see urself marrying her, save urself the stress and move on with ur life. Everything I just said is from personal experience...all d best brah

Fact.. I ve moved on.. But not without a crazy ending

pcguru1:


Dude what's the motivation of joining the gym and are you consistent ? Damn paid for gym 3 times but always too busy to go. That's a good idea

I m not bruh.. Haha.. Joined to try get that woman off my mind. Ended up not going further when she came back. But will go again this time fully

nwanneni:
I didn't get this though.
What do you mean by that?
Is yours the w203 C200 or higher?

It's the w204. Some have the standard head unit dash with the small screen after it slides and curves open.
While some have the standing screen with inbuilt navigation.

pcguru1:


Well let me play devil's advocate, the guy could be her good friend who has reserved opinion about you, and if they've been closer for years, chances are she will side with me.

But from the boyfriends perspective, you dont know if they are sexual or not, so yes I can understand why it will be humiliating and also that looks suspicious too.

Is suspect that as well.. However, too many crazies happened not even relating to the guy that I feel that once respect is lost, the relationship is dead

nwanneni:
the bolded is the best replacement for any woman.
Just can't wait to get my C63.I won't even look no woman twice.
Why C200 though?with the m111
Sounds slow to me.well,you might not be a lover of speed like me

The c200 has this in between corporate/luxury look I admire. Also, mine has a protruding head unit with navigation which not a lot of similar models have

iPrevail:


I know you won't listen. That's why these days, no need to advice people... You just mind your own damn business.
I typed all that shii from a not-savourable experience. You can't change people.. Only God can (if he gives a sh!t).. And trust me, once "love" is gone... It's fvckin dead.
Clinging to what used and hoping for what may be never be will result to either one of you becoming a monster. I don't wanna read here you murdered that girl or she set you on fire.
Dude.. I know you still want her. But just give and the space she needs.. When she comes back, if she does, then you'll know she's yours. Peace!

Man was right to the point

Oluromantic:
Rat weh percieve smell of roasted fish, come dey trace am, till he see the fish on top trap, that rat get 2 decision to make for him life.. Either he turn back and forget the fish smell or face the risk of injury, pain, shame and death.

Word... I ll update what happened after. Was a terrible experience

This is a FACT!

Update.

The space didn't last long as we sort of got talking after a couple of days. However, she did something I will say.. No man with balls will ever take. Someguy she used to confide in started talking stuff about me, which I got to know about through a friend. Long story short, I, she nd the guy found ourselves in a confrontation, where she sided the guy, and eventually left in his car. Tbh. it was quite humiliating. Broke up there and then.. However she reached out to me, and in a small conversation, an argument ensued again, as certain family issues were around it all.
Now, I gave myself a proper break. Went quiet, hit the gym and bought myself a Mercedes c200 as I ve always wanted to get one. Yeah.. Shez seen my couple of uploads, and yeah.. She has called, which I ve refused to pick.
.
At this point, I am all about either revenge or just cutting off totally. I know cutting off is the best, but I like her to feel some pain either way at the end.

iPrevail:


I know you won't listen. That's why these days, no need to advice people... You just mind your own damn business.
I typed all that shii from a not-savourable experience. You can't change people.. Only God can (if he gives a sh!t).. And trust me, once "love" is gone... It's fvckin dead.
Clinging to what used and hoping for what may be never be will result to either one of you becoming a monster. I don't wanna read here you murdered that girl or she set you on fire.
Dude.. I know you still want her. But just give and the space she needs.. When she comes back, if she does, then you'll know she's yours. Peace!

I get your point bro. I already said she called me a day after, but I haven't returned it. I was asking what could it mean if/after she calls after a week which is in a few days. Peace

iPrevail:
Bruh... Forget the f*****g relationship. It's done.
I'm being 100% honest with you here. Forget the call (have some fvkin pride) and move on like you said you have.

I know it is done and I have someone I am talking to right now, but a part of me tells me that the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know

SUPERPACK:
Go and marry her if u love her, do you want her to die of abortion complications, or you want to make sure you damage her womb, you are just plain wicked. remember kama is real

LOL.. I already told her I want to marry her, but she said she is not sure she feels the same. She also at some point told me not to call her "babe"