₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Of course not else there would be no police and no courts.

You missed my point, not everyone seeks the Law's approval before serving their own justice .

Mindfulness:
Byvan03 and Edwife, I have not even seen one argument that justifies your positions. Don't let me down, where are your arguments?
I am very eager to learn.

We are not trying to convince you, we also have not seen any argument good enough to justify these girls going scot free. We all perceive differently, that's ok I guess.

Mindfulness:
The law says otherwise.

Not everyone checks with the law .

MusingsOfALady:
No I haven't o.

I have heard of calls to threaten or warn but not to beg.

OK, some feel so defeated and at the mercy of the girl that they beg that she let's go her hold on the man.

I don't believe in friends of the opposite sex after marriage. Stop this nonsense assuming you aren't as guilty as she is in helloing and hiing the opposite gender.

edwife:
I tire o.You just can't come to my territory and think you can get scot free when you fully know what you are doing.Mistresses have killed wives so many times.Their rubbish should stay away from me but if you as much visit my child in school,i am gonna deal with you.

Visit child in school ke?except the person is completely brainless .

MusingsOfALady:
Both got stoned in the Old Testament o.

Lev 20:10, but Jesus told her to go and sin no more so the wife should forgive her as in NT or kill both as in OT.

So if you fire prayers on her, the ashes must land on the husband.

Lol

You got me mixed up, fire is supposed to land on both absolutely. Wait, weir you for one second thinking am rooting for the man to waltz home free? Naaahhh!! You got me wrong, they should both be tied up and offered as burnt offering to the Ancestors for all I care . What I don't accept is that one should go free.

Mindfulness:
The ladies who date married men JUST LIKE YOU do what they THINK is right.



The lady can never be as guilty as the husband, if anyone is guilty at all, BECAUSE the girl owes you NOTHING. She doesn't give a damn about you and your marriage and it is her RIGHT.

Yes, they do what they think is right and wify can also do what she thinks is right to them without being judged.

edwife:
Let me tell you a little story.

This lady had a best-friend she shared everything with,her secrets and all.The best-friend had a little problem,she moved in with her friend without knowing that she was in the house as a second wife,dowry paid.(same village with hubby)

This lady will leave her baby with her best-friend most of the time as she was not working,ate her meals,share her money and all.
One day,she returned home to a fighting match between her husband and the best-friend.He caught her with another man and all their secrets were spelt right there and mother in law was there.

On that faithful day,she came home accompanied by her two sisters and you know the rest of the story.
Before leaving her evil husband,she dealt with her murderous,treacherous best-friend because you know why?She had her life in her hands,she could have killed her and her child.Now tell me that she shouldn't do anything to her best-friend?

From OP's logic, she is supposed to walk free because she made no vow to wify .

MusingsOfALady:
Still shuddering over the begging part!

You haven't heard of it before? There is a difference between " I can't do it" and "I haven't heard of it".

Lol, belligerent mode, I don't know where you saw aggression in my post. Anyway, we just don't agree on this one.

Mindfulness:
If it was clear, I wouldn't ask so many questions. It would be nice if you helped me understand your stance so that we can have a nice, fruitful discussion but to do so you have to get out of this belligerent mode.



Because the people back in the day made st.upid, unfair laws.

Are you suggesting people should be stoned on grounds of adultery?

And are you aware of the fact that not everyone is a Christian?

Besides, did you forget that one of the seven deadly sins is jealousy?

Seven deadly sins huh? Hell fire will be filled to the brim, so I simply do what I think is right , I don't worry much about hell. Many will be there .


No matter how we twist this gist, the husband is as guilty as the girl that knows he is married yet chose to date him.

MusingsOfALady:
I doub if I can ever understand why a woman would beg the girl.

The mistress can't be as bad as the husband, she owes the wife nothing. She made no vow to her, a husband owes her more. Are they both guilty? Sure both I don't think I can see how a stranger can be as guilty as the husband.

All he did, he did willingly, lied willingly, broke his vow willingly, exposed his wife to HIV willingly.......

Even on TV crime shows, the spouse that "kills" always gets a higher sentence. An perpetuator and an accessory never get the same sentence.

The aim here is for women to hold their husband's responsible and accountable to their vows. The faults for breaking those vows should rest squarely on the spouse.

You already sealed the deal"An perpetuator and an accessory never get the same sentence".


Why a woman will beg a mistress? Stupidity, low self esteem, poverty, unhealthy idea of love or a combination of all of the above.

Mindfulness:
Adultery is not a crime.

You have not answered my questions.

In the court of law no, I didn't see any question, my stance is clear enough. Women get stoned to death in the bible for adultery, why not men? There really is no ideal when it comes to such matters.

MusingsOfALady:
Begging a girl, seriously? A woman will call a girl and beg her? That is so wrong, so if he moves to another, she will call and beg that one too? And the one after? A woman has no business begging for her husband, if you have to beg a girl for it, it's time to face the he reality that you have no marriage. Make plans for your life.

Marriage is a mutually beneficial relationship, no one is doing the other party a favor. Your man should want to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Some men go to such lengths to hide their affairs and beg their wives when caught, showering Her with gifts and vowing never to do it again. Begging? Smh.

Yes, some women actually beg these mistresses and whatever reason they beg for is left for them. The mistress that they beg is as bad as the husband, hence deserves whatever the man got as penalty.

Mindfulness:
Equal responsibility for what exactly? What is she guilty of?

The criminal and the accomplice must be punished, no one should be excused.

edwife:
This thread says it all.Why was she blamed then if she isn't at fault?

https://www.nairaland.com/2688718/want-save-relations-him/1#39364364


cc Sambarry?

Exactly!! Why then was she blamed. You can see the evil role she is playing to make sure the he goat gets rid of his family.

MusingsOfALady:
Equal responsibility before whom? We are talking of responsibility to the wife. Yes she has a "civic" responsibility if you so will not to have a relationship with a married man but the direct responsibility to the wife is from the husband.

No one is trying to justify her actions but you must hold your husband more responsible than the girl.

Sure, holding the husband more responsible is in order .

bukatyne:
I am not excusing the girl but the wife has nothing to do with her just how the husband/boyfriend of the girl has nothing to do with the cheating husband.

In God's court, He might punish them together How He would punish a boy & girl who commits fornication.

Seriously, I feel the part of dealing with the mistress or not is left for the woman to decide. I doubt a scorned woman will be interested in the rule of engagement when push turns to shove . If the woman gets her groove from kicking mistresses ass, good for her. I won't advise anyone to go fighting because of the worthless scumbag they married but if a woman chose to, I can't judge her. some get mental release from pummelling the object of their grievance and if that object is a bloody mistress......cheers to that.

A mistress deserves whatever nasties wify decides to dish, she cannot be excused whether she made a vow or not.

SAMBARRY:
the girl follow them make vow? She has nothing at stake.it's the man that's responsible for the vows and mind you there are some married men that lie that they're single just to get into the honey pot and the wife won't understand that the man lied

I get you kulyie, assuming the girl is ignorant of his marital status but majority are aware. You see some wives begging these girls not to destroy their homes yet the bangers will scorn the poor woman and continue without empathy. If this woman goes wacko and decide to chop off her husband's head with a Samurai sword, I expect two heads, the Cheat and the Cheatee .

These girls are inexcusable, they are part and parcel of the infidelity and therefore shouldn't be excused with the usual cliché " she made no vow to be faithful to you ". They have to partake in any consequences the scorned wife decides to met out if she so desires.

bukatyne:
Babes, I don't agree this one.

The husband took a vow with his wife and he is the one mandated to keep it.

Yes the other lady is committing fornication but whose business is it?

On the flip side, if the lady has a boyfriend, will he blame the married man for his girlfriend's unfaithfulness

Wondered why husbands do not call fire and brimstone on their wife's lovers?

They understand that the issue is the cheating wife.

Let them pray from now till next year or pour acid on all their husbands' lovers....

If the husband has decided NOT to change, it is an exercise in futility.

I really understand where you are coming from but these girls cannot be excused. It's just like saying that the thief is blameless because I kept my money carelessly. I really believe that they deserve whatever the husband got as his penalty in good measure, shaken together and running over. I feel no pity for these husbands nor their mistresses.

If the man will burn at a stake for his shyte, the girl should too. There is a reason why an accomplice is expected to serve some time in a real life criminal case. It's a different pot of soup if the mistress is under aged.

It sucks to be you doesn't it?


Please kindly update from time to time on this tale of woe .

edwife:
Seconded! this woman sabi enjoy o.

That beer is calling me.

MusingsOfALady:
I will disagree with you. Even if the girl asked him out, couldn't he say No just like you do when men ask you out? That she asked him doesn't make him less responsible for his actions.

Also that you can live with something doesn't make it right.

Once the girl in question isn't under aged, she should take equal responsibility as the man. She is as guilty as the man, on what basis do you classify right or wrong? Everyone cannot measure with your yardstick.

These girls cannot be excused, if the man will serve any penalty, they should serve same. If you are going to condemn evil, do that on both sides. You can't tell people how to react to spousal infidelity, they will react as they deem fit.

Makes sense but majority of these girls initiate these relationships nowadays, there really is no right or wrong reaction to spousal infidelity as far as am concerned. Whatever you can live with, do.

Breastfeeding actually makes a woman lose weight because you burn extra 500 calories, excessive eating in the name of Breastfeeding mum is what piles up the weight.

Nannies....

Jeeezz!!! Someone opened a thread for this?

Parents are to blame for such calamities. You don't birth more than you can cater for and ship some off, that's cruel. Sorry for your experiences OP, it is well.

No ex of your spouse is your friend, rule of thumbs. Chop of this cancer before it chops you off.