₦airaland Forum

Beeron:
Remember, he has lived with the guilt for years which has been eating him up. Now what will he gain if he infect such trauma to another man in his old age.

If he wasn't brave enough to spill it when he was younger and when baba heart was healthy, why share it now when Baba's heart is fragile?

At some point in life, we all come to a sudden realization of the fakeness and an unreal part of life meaning we have been living a lie. We don't beat ourselves up too much, why? because ignorance is bliss.

ogododo:
Merry Christmas, no smoke without fire.

Beeron:
Live with the burden, learn from the mistakes from your mother's perspective especially when dealing with women and finally, let the man who raised you continue to be your dejure father and take the secret to your grave and let the man be happy in his ignorance rather than spill what could potentially cut his life short.

Kcash200:
Hi guys,

I have a problem i have been dealing with since i was 12. I am from a large family and when i was 12, my mum told me my Dad is not my biological father and for me to make it a secret. I did not know what to do with such an information at that age but i knew it was wrong but i couldnt talk so i am not the one who destroys the family. Everyone lives in peace but i always wonder what will happen if only they know the truth. My biological father has other children and some of them know me that i am outside. He was involved in my life financially from 12years as far as i am aware of. He sent me money then and i kept quiet too and also supported me financially a couple of times though we have no personal relationship asides 2-3mins phone calls here and there and it is been like that for years.

I know my biological father and we kept in touch while i was in secondary school. Now that i am an adult now, i feel really sad about the whole thing and sometimes i even cry on my bed. I have been living in secret and a double life and fearing i might be outed one day. Some people in my mother's family are aware which is very strange and i find it shameful as a man now but i did not choose my fate. I have always tried to forget it and just leave my life but it is always just there especially when i think about starting my own family. I am striving hard for it not to define the way i see marriage and life as i am trying to write a different story for myself.

I grew up with my father who is not my biological father and i have been a good son to him as well and still taking care of him but it bothers that my whole life is a lie and it is hard knowing what i know and i can't say anything as that will scatter the family. I met some girls from a very good home who i can marry but i am scared if i tell her or other girls, that her parent will not let me marry her with that secret.

I am scared of getting married publicly as someone can take the news to my biological father as i do not intend to invite him as my biological father but i always feel heavy anytime i think about it. I want to start a new life for myself but i don't know how to handle this. I do not plan to tell my father as he is getting old and this can kill him at his old age as he has been through a lot in life. He is finally enjoying and i am taking care of him very well and he prays for me all the time.

I am building a good life for myself as a professional and have a lot of girls around me but i don't know what to do. Should i keep quiet and tell the girl i marry after marriage ? Isn't that me building my marriage on deceit. It is a shameful thing to talk about if you look at it.

Sometimes, i feel like they caused me trauma putting me in this position but i am an adult now and will bear responsibility for how i live my life and cant continue to blame any trauma or anyone. I am the one who has to keep quiet for peace to reign in the family.

I don't want to wait too long just incase it is a dealbreaker for someone but i also don't want to be disclosing to anyone.

Aside from marriage, i still do not know what to do with that information.

OverCalculating:
Folorunsho Alakija did not study Geology.

​She started as a Secretary. Then she became a Fashion Designer.

Yet, she beat the global oil giants at their own game.

​Most people think she just "got lucky" with an oil license.

But the truth is, she used a strategy called The "Rejected Stone" Advantage.

​Here is what happened:
​
In the 90s, she applied for an oil license.

The powers that be gave her OPL 216.

​They didn't give her this block because they liked her.

They gave it to her because nobody else wanted it.

It was "Deep Offshore" (Deep Water).

At that time, the technology to drill that deep was expensive and risky.

The big companies (Shell, Mobil) wanted the easy, shallow water.

​They thought they gave her a "useless" paper.

She saw a "Golden Ticket."

She knew she didn't have the billions to drill.

But she had the Rights.

She approached Texaco (now Chevron).

She told them: "I have the access. You have the technology. Let's work."

​She didn't try to dig with her hands. She used her "Paper" as equity to attract a giant.

This is the most important lesson.

When they finally struck oil (the massive Agbami Field), the Government was shocked at the volume.

They got jealous.

The Government tried to use a decree to forcefully take back 50% of her stake.

​Most people would have bowed to the Federal Government out of fear.

Alakija sued them.

​She fought the Federal Government in court for 12 years.

She refused to settle. She refused to be bullied.

Eventually, the Supreme Court ruled in her favor, restoring her full stake.

​Why am I telling you this?

​Don't despise the "Hard" road:

Just because an opportunity looks difficult (Deep Water) doesn't mean it's bad.

That is often where the biggest treasure is hidden.

​Defend your Value: In business, creating wealth is one thing.

Keeping it is the real war.

You must have the audacity to fight for what is yours, even if you are fighting a Giant.

​She went from sewing clothes to owning one of the most prolific oil blocks in Africa.

Not by luck. But by Grit.

​Nairalanders! I hope you learnt something today.

nairalanda1:
It was only fair , otherwise precedent would have been set that one cannot defend themselves at all!

Donpuffy:
Funny.

There will be so many businesses to register by CAC in 2026

Gboss247:
Why do most Nigerians prefer illusions over reality. An industry only has a lot of players sign of infancy, stagnation and inefficiency. Once these factors are addressed, economic growth sets in with acquisition and merger reducing the number of players while increasing efficiency, quality, quantity etc

SmartPolician:
That's not entirely true. You can be supporting friends whenever they ask for your assistance. However, the moment you ask for theirs, you'll know their true colours.

That's when you realise that some friends are actually useless. It will make you begin to wonder the essence of friendship if you cannot support one another. They are just there for cruise, vibes, and useless gists.

In life, everyone needs help, including Aliko Dangote.

LibertyRep:
This script is too obvious.

Chase the competitors out with the price war, take control of the entire structure and thereafter become a monopolistic thing god.

The government and the relevant regulatory agencies should do their duties and enforce fair play.

In all, may Nigerians be favoured.

DomPerignon:
Which tax do you pay?

Have you ever paid tax in your life?

RollinTNDA:
Wetin that Mike Adenuga dey do sef??

Glo wey don die finish. How does he still make money and is on this list of billionaires?

Antoeni:
If Wasiu (KWAM1) By Change Becomes The Awujale of Ijebu Land , Who Will Now Be Singing "On Your Mandate We Shall Stand" For APC presidential Election Campaign?

SpencerForbes:
It’s basically the hard truth that a lot of people aren't ready to hear because they’d rather lean into the "optimism" of a fantasy than face reality.

The issue is that social media, especially TikTok, has turned marriage into a performance. Everyone is chasing that "fairytale" love and saving videos of million-naira weddings, but if you look at the comments, it's clear the focus is entirely on the event, not the commitment. they care about the wedding than the marriage.

Very few creators are actually teaching how to sustain a home. Instead, the algorithm is flooded with "10 signs he doesn’t love you" or "If your man isn't doing X, leave him." BS☹️. A lot of young women are feeding on this kind of content, and it’s increasing their expectations.

If there isn't some sort of reality check soon, we’re going to see even more broken homes and single-parent situations, all because people are trying to live out a scripted internet lifestyle in the real world.

omoredia:
If u like no marry when u dey price pampas at 50 years na u go catch the shame

shilenji:
Moved in '23

tobenuel:
Yes oo, never will i carry my wife to be overseas

Levels1:
No, things aren't done that way . If they adjust after the complain ,then NFF petitions will scale through much more better and getting presidential waiver is an after thought which will justify the complain made by the useless NFF.

Back to the group stage ,it was conducted by Cafe and not fifa as such they can't benefit from this complain.

Why do you think Fifa did not duct Congo DR after Cameroun complained?

I'm not saying getting the Presidential waiver now. I'm saying if the country might have waived that for them to have dual nationality. That's their domestic issue. Fifa only interested in the players having the passport of the country they are flying.

We already know where this will tilt. But my utmost fear is that Africa might lose the 10th slot if care is not taking.

shilenji:
Was 520 when I moved in, landord miraculously increased it to 650 earlier this year for a room and parlour selfcon

iwaeda:
Back door policy, my stake is if they are allowed to play AFCON with same players, Nigeria have no case.

koning:
Do not be too quick with that "Cleared by FIFA" argument. A precedent was set this week with Malaysia. Malaysia fielded a whooping 6 to 7 players who were clearly not Malaysian. Some looked clearly European. Malaysia presented forged documents to FIFA about the place of birth of their parents, claiming that their fathers and grandfathers were born on a Malaysian island.

After they beat Vietnam 3-0 to qualify for the Asia cup, Vietnam lodged a complaint. FIFA investigated and found out that the players used forged birth documents. Some of them had grandfathers born in Europe. Malaysia has now been severely sanctioned. All last 3 matches they won with those players have been converted to a loss.
AFC is also set to award the qualification for the Asia cup to Vietnam straight.

So, Nigeria and the NFA have a chance in their protest. But it must be presented with proof and evidence. I'm sure they have lawyers handling that. It's fraud to win a match with ineligible players.

Winterhaven:
Even if by hook or crook we replaced dr congo in the playoffs, the super chickens will still get kicked out on the football pitch. So what's the point...