Thanks Avicky for the recognition. I have however been busy since school has resumed and i have other things on my mind. I'll write when I can squeeze out the chance.

[s][/s] ishi when he Wakes up give him another heart attack. I think he'll appreciate it.

Efemena_xy: Cetezin, a couple of points if you don't mind my saying so:

~ Lola isn't the patient at the hospital, it's Shade. So you need to go back and make the necessary corrections, else you'll confuse future contributors.

~ Try to incorporate a bit of spacing / paragraphing as it'll make your work much more presentable and easier to read. Having it all down in one big block of text can be slightly off putting to readers. You might also want to use a new line for each statement made by your character. It's also helpful if you could use italics for your characters thoughts, as it'll help the readers distinguish between spoken speech and thoughts.

~ Finally, you'll need to proof read your work and correct the grammatical errors as pointed out by Avicky.

That aside, you've got a good thing going and keep up the good work!

Well Done!

Thanks efemena and avicky for the corrections. I almost melted when you told me i was using lara for shade. I have tried to make the correction I can. I an using a c1 phone to type so I can not use paragraphs and italics and other things you mentioned. Anyway thanks.

"Sorry, sorry", the nurse was telling shade as she tended to her scars. The fire had completely destroyed her features. From head to toe, she had been completely burnt. She could barely see . She had not looked at the mirror since she regained consciousness. What did she expect to see? People looked at a mirror when they know they are pretty or want to correct something about themselves, mirrors are not for monsters, she thought to herself. A team of doctors had worked on her, but there was little they could do. The nurses worked in shift to take care of her. They have been very nice to her. But sorry was not what she wanted to hear.. She did not want pity.
"When is my father coming", she asked the nurse.
"He will come tomorrow" the nurse replied with a smile. Shade smiled. She was happy whenever her Dad came to visit her. That was the only person she knew here. She had not even bothered to ask where she was. All she knew was that she was somewhere far away from anyone who knew her. She did not care where she was.
Her thought went back to Lola. She thought about the last time her father came.

****************************************

"Daddy i am sure he likes her" she had said. "I don't want him to marry her I want to make her to suffer".
Adedayo listened to his daughter. His daughter had became bitter. For the part few days he had come to see shade, she seemed to have had a new zeal for life, a new motivation for living. He would do anything for his daughter. Of course he didn't believe Lola had anything to do with the accident. Lola was not that kind of girl. He still wondered who was responsible for the fire. Who could hated his daughter that much. But he also had something against Lola. She had rejected his advances and made him look like a fool. "What do you want me to do, my love"
"I want kingsley threatened so that he leaves Lola".
Adedayo smiled. He knew exactly the person who could do that kind of job. Enigma would relish the opportunity. Besides he owes him.
"Don't worry I will take care of him".
Shade smiled, her plans had started.

maclatunji:
***********************Amuludun Community***********************************
The home of Chief Adedayo became a Mecca of sorts for sympathisers and well-wishers. Shade had been rushed to hospital the previous night but had died of third degree burns. Mrs. Adedayo who had been at a political meeting when the explosion happened was now at home and was wailing bitterly. Shade was her pride and joy, she had plans to hand over her business to her daughter and was already grooming her to be the 2nd wife of Amuludun Local Government Chairman, Hon. Talab Agbaekun aka "Heavy Duty".

All of those hopes and dreams for her only daughter were now dashed. Mama Lola despite her daughter's predicament was with Mrs. Adedayo that morning to console her. She and other women in the area could not help but shed tears as well, they felt the plight of a bereaved mother. "Awon Ota mi ti fi ina omo jo mi, yee mo daran" (My enemies have gotten to me through my child), Mrs. Adedayo wailed. O ti to, ama gba fun Olohun ni ti Oro bati di bayi (That is enough, we have to accept God's will in situations like this). Her younger sister, Dr. Kemi Komolafe, decided that because of her chronic hypertension, she should be sedated. Mrs. Adedayo was ushered into her room where Dr. Komolafe gave her the injection that would induce sleep.

This left little room for the sympathisers to tarry at the Adedayo's residence because Chief Adedayo was at the Amuludun hospital morgue to make the necessary payments for the preservation of his daughter's body before burial.

Mama Lola, greeted and thanked other well-wishers present before leaving the Adedayo's residence. She had left Sandra at home to watch cartoons on TV and knew that she had to prepare her granddaughter to go see her mother who still lay in hospital. She had wanted to go to the hospital to see Lola earlier that morning but the news of Shade's death made it awkward for her to head there without seeking to console Mrs. Adedayo. Besides, her husband had called to let her know that the doctors where not allowing anybody to see Lola at the moment. That was Mama Lola's way, she had a sense of pragmatism and propriety that made her stand out within the community.

Already at the Adedayo's residence, people had been enquiring about her daughter, Lola and she told them that she was in good hands at the hospital even if she hadn't confirmed it. She asked herself, "what can I do than to pray and hope for the best?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * *

She laid on her bed with her face to the ceiling. What else could she do? This has been her life now for the part couple of weeks. Day or night it made no difference to her. All she does was lie down and reflect on the events that led to her present situation. She had gone through the events in her mind with so many "only if" until she began to start convincing herself that this was not just an accident. How can it be? How did the fire get to the generator house? She has gone through such questions dozens of times. Her thoughts that what kept her conscious, that was her only activity. Shade was a beautiful young girl. Her parents were rich and everything she wanted was given to her. And to crown it all she was about to marry a top politician. But then the event of that fateful day has ended all that.

Then the doctors had brought the 'good news' to her parents "she would live". How is this been alive. First degree burns all over her body, she has been mutilated beyond recognition. She would have preferred death. Her father chief adedayo has also thought the same thing. The shame of having a badly burnt and mutilated child in his family would be too much. He was the one that arranged for her fake death and burial. Of course it was better this way. Now away from anybody she knows, her father has seen to it that her every request was granted. Not even her mom knew she was alive.

Her thoughts continued. She had heard of Lola. How she went into coma and came back. She had always envied lola when they were young. Lola was the good girl. 'Why cant she be more like lola' she was always told. But then Lola had been the one that got pregnant and not she. Lola had been the one that brought shame to her parents. She has always felt a sense of satisfaction whenever she saw Lola or heard of her plight. But now it seemed the table had turned. She asks her father about Lola anytimes he comes to see her, and he would always tell her. He would do anything to please his only daughter. She had heard about the doctor who took extraordinary care of her. It seems that the doctor liked her. It seemed things was only getting better for her old friend.


From somewhere from her wildest imagination she managed to blame Lola for her present predicament. Somehow from the whereever she is presently staying, she is going to devote all her thinking, her energy to her new agenda: she would make Lola pay

I think its better this way for everyone. Nice story, can't wait for the next episode the suspense is killin me.

Ishi hw long na must we wait 2 get anoda post. By d way good work keep pt up

Ishi abeg come finish dis story o. Ehen