You really need to talk to your sister and her husband first. Make them see reasons with you, because this is your family. On the idea of taking your daughter to your friend, please don't even think of it.

It would be better to spend on your sister than someone molesting your daughter. Remember, he is not your blood. Feelings is something you can't predict.

Talk to your sister and her husband.

Ofokajeremy:
Please I'm begging you in the name of God, I also thank you for bringing it here looking for advice on the issue. Take your daughter away from your sister and the person you are trying to take your daughter to should not be aware of your experience with your sister else it'll be same draining storyline. It could be worse than the beginning, God help you out of this , but I hope you have other family members rather than a friend?

I have an elder brother who is married with kids but I don't trust his wife with my child someone who doesn't liked me will never like my daughter

Chidiesta:


I will not take her to boarding school

Ma'am, there is nothing wrong in taking you child to a boarding school, some of us are Products of boarding school too. The bad things you are thinking of also happen in day schools.

I'll advise that you relocate your child to your friend as stated, but the child should go to a boarding school once she gets to jss1, she can always spend the holidays with your friend.

Ladies are not always 100% nice to children that is not theirs.

I hope you are able to get her to you before she finishes secondary school.

I pray God almighty will give you wisdom to approach this.

It will be very tricky to get your child without causing problem.

You can also change her school to boarding while she stays with your sister, tho not the best option but at least better.

Infact, firstly
you should ask you friend to go and pick your daughter for outing, use the opportunity to talk to her.

Goodluck

Chidiesta:


She is financially OK she has a clothing store and her husband sell appliances

My sister, to be honest send her to catholic boarding school. At least you are sure during school time your daughter is getting minimal comfort and better education.only during holiday your daughter will manage in your sister house.

Going to your friend house might not turn out best.

LalastiklaIa:
Why is no one talking about the second one year old baby the op has with the sister too abi that one is not a baby

The one year old daughter is with the OP at Germany. She gave birth to the daughter at Germany and not in Nigeria.

Kinehap:
You really need to talk to your sister and her husband first. Make them see reasons with you, because this is your family. On the idea of taking your daughter to your friend, please don't even think of it.

It would be better to spend on your sister than someone molesting your daughter. Remember, he is not your blood. Feelings is something you can't predict.

Talk to your sister and her husband.

I a woman and my friend is also a woman. My sister is aware of my situations I have told her everything she knows that I don't have papers and having not papers I am limited because I can't work or have my own place to call home but she doesn't care all she care about is money.

This issue is very serious, I would advise you pray before taking any step and make sure you don't inform your sister about what you want to do, make sure all plans are concluded if not she may harm those children knowing fully well that you want to withdraw them from her will upset her, and transfer issues on the innocent children. We have people that can help you in this kind of situation but pray sister, may God teach you on what to do. Amen

BRATISLAVA:


You keep spraying yourself down with your fragrance of dumbness, almost on every post. No wonder you're smelling yourself.

Go back to talking about your god. Deeply religious pool of shiit

Jumping from post to post trying to troll me because I called out the depth of your senselessness your stupidity will never stop amazing me little brat

Chidiesta:


She is financially OK she has a clothing store and her husband sell appliances

they are ok then, but tell me the truth, are the one that volunteer to pay her child school fees? She never asked you from onset

07kjb:
Talk to her that it is not all rosy as she thinks

Never cut a good relationship with your blood

Blood is not what makes people family. From what he's written. That sister is a very greedy one.

jamesbridget13:
I don't even know what to say

Then rest alaye. Move to the next thread

onlyhope:
Hi Chidiesta,
1. First, let's talk about you:
I think you need to re-evaluate yourself.
Your parents are no more.
You had a child out of wedlock.
The father of your kid rejected you....
Your sister is maltreating your kid.
You went to another man's country illegally.
You have a 2nd child that's a year old? How?
Your friend is a single mother.

2. Now, let's talk about your sister:
You sent her 300k. Your daughter's school fees is 67k, her son's is 87k, which means she'll still have 146k left after paying your daughter's and her son's fees.

Well, you need more than just taking your daughter from your sis. Your sister is not a good woman.

Although, I've written this before, but let me propose a solution.
I have a friend who's a teacher. He actually told me sometime ago that parents based abroad do pay the school fees of their children directly to the school account.

So, get the contact of your daughter's school, including the phone no of proprietor & head teacher. Be paying her school fees directly into the school account henceforth.
Also, don't pay your sister's children school fees again. Rather, send your sis some money monthly for your daughter's upkeep if she still stays with your sis. With this, your sis and her husband have no excuse not to take care of your daughter or push their financial responsibility to you.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Talk to your sister that it's not easy as she thinks,
Never ever try to take away your daughter to a friend.
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, no relationship is stronger than that of the family.

Chidiesta:


Our mum sister did worse when we lost our mum , I prayed for things to get better for me in this country so I can bring my daughter. I am tired of thinking and crying g every night

Hugs.But where's her father and why are you having a one ur old when you haven't figured out life for yourself and the elder one.

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Whats holding you back from taking custody of your daughter, maybe you work your daughter visa, that way, she won't have that entitlement to your money anymore...

Pay your child’s school fees directly to the school
Do only what you can
If it gets too much move your child to your parents or the child’s mother

Romanoff:
Take your daughter from her. Your daughter is her cash cow.

I think her husband doesn't know she had a kid in 9ja and reason why she hasn't taken her daughter

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Once yhu can trust yhur friend, take her from yhur sis...
Some siblings just want to be parasitic just because *"yhu are related by blood"*.
How sure are yhu that yhur daughter isn't even passing through some trauma and emotional abuse?

Don't also forget that once yhu pull her from yhur sis, yhu'd have created this silent enemity, and yhu'd still also be sending tips to her atleast....

Keep yhur own sanity sacrosanct.

Edoziesmart:

Then rest alaye. Move to the next thread

you must be frustrated. I can see how confused you are. Sorry oga I am not be reason for your woes

How about ur mother, collect ur daughter from that Jezebel u call sister,how about your mum,enroll ur kid in a missionary school,when the are out of secondary school ,atleast the will be more mature and responsible to take care and how to manage money on there own,am sorry to tell you this,as long as ur kids are with ur sis,u will be sending more money plus how u even sure she is not maltreating ur kids, na advise,first take away ur daughter from her,if her husband is lazy to pay bill of there kids,is not ur bizness,and de foolish man will be seen wat his wife is doing and keep dam...at all at all,de work visa fr ur kids

Eagle360:
If the story is true
Your sister is not doing well, she is self-centered and ingrate fellow.

Let me tell you nobody can care for one child better except the parent. I doubt your friend will do better than your sister

Where is your wife?
Modified: Op is a woman, woman hating woman. This gender cannot help themselves. Very bad

I suggest you take her to good school with good hostel accommodation pending the time she join you Abroad.

You're a dick-sniffing guttersnipe. Your advice isn't worth a half-penny. foh

Only God knows what your daughter is passing through in the hands of that witch you call sister. Tueh

Chidiesta:


I am a female lol I am her mother. I am sure she is not taking care of her well because sometime she doesn't want me to video call her

Please take your daughter
I have a similar case of a friend that was paying all her siblings fees for the fact that they were staying abroad, it was when she got married that everything stopped. Her siblings were now sending money when they got to know that she's married.

jamesbridget13:
you must be frustrated. I can see how confused you are. Sorry oga I am not be reason for your woes

I'm just trolling and nothing much .
No hard feelings.

Meanwhile, do you live in Bayelsa State before? Yenagoa to be precise? Cus I know a friend with such name back then as of 2013/2014.

Oops! this forum is even a faceless forum unlike Facebook you can check someone's profile without asking the person any further questions.

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

Take your daughter from her, that's the best you can do...

Chidiesta:


Me too I have a feeling she is not taking good care of her because most of the time she doesn't want me to speak with her on video call

Just imagine, and you didn't even suspect. You sef sound like person wey no smart. Carry your cross

Chidiesta:
Good day nairalanders,

I have lived in Germany for 3 years now i have a 1 years old daughter and I also have a 8 years old daughter who lives with my elder sister in nigeria.

She is married with three kids , I provide everything for them and I pay one of her child school fee but my sister is never satisfied with the money she keep demanding me for more money.

She knows it very well that I am not stable yet in this country , life is hard just because she is taking care of my daughter and she want me to carry the responsibility of her three children.

I make sure that I send a big parcel for all of them once a year as I am typing the parcel is on the way but she want me to pay school fees for all her children too and I can't afford to pay for all four.

I am paying her son school fees is 87k per term and my daughter own is 67k . On the 2nd I sent her 300k for school fees and foodstuffs she called on monday demanding me for 154k for her son and my daughter school fee I asked her what about the money I sent on the 2nd she said she bought foodstuffs for 120k and use the 180k for her two oldest children school fee and she want me to send the 154k for the youngest 2 , I was angry with her and I cut the call.

I am angry my own sister is draining me financially and I have a lot of bills to pay too and a small child to cater for.

I have spoken to my friend she is happy to take care of my daughter for me until I am stable enough to bring her to Germany. I like the idea because my sister is not helping me to progress.

I hope my daughter living with my friend will be a good idea.

I haven't told my sister anything yet because we are not in good term but I want to hear from you first please let me know if I should allow my friend to take care of her or I should leave her with my elder sister.

Where is the mother of this daughter of yours? Why not send your daughter to her instead of moving her about? If her mum is no more, what about the mums relatives, lake a sister? it would be better she lives with a relative instead of a total stranger, try the mothers angle since your sister has decided to turn you to her money making machine.

What people can do because of money ehn!

You exposed ur financial ability to her in the first place of ur short term in Germany and that's why she's using that to drain you. What you need now is to play along, act Asif things were not moving fine like b4 and if possible to change the school of u daughter to a minimal one. Just act first and heard her reaction. Also, don't take ur child to where is not safe. If possible to leave her there and pending the time you'll be okay financially or better still consult the family and seek for other people's help. But don't pay her children school fees ooo because she might be using the money for business or building house. Whereas, she also have ability to per her children school fees.

Olayetan:



Whats holding you back from taking custody of your daughter, maybe you work your daughter visa, that way, she won't have that entitlement to your money anymore...

I don't have papers

Ulunne777:


Hugs.But where's her father and why are you having a one ur old when you haven't figured out life for yourself and the elder one.

Her father denied the pregnancy he hasn't met her. My one year old child is a blessing if things are a bit stable for me is because I gave birth to her, when I was alone things were really difficult for me but having a child has open so many doors for me. I hope people who are abroad can understand me better

..