₦airaland Forum

Ladies, read this very interesting but quite important article:

The Problem with Single African Women
This is a reaction to Annie Brisibe-Porbeni’s essay: "In Search of Mr. Right or Wrong in Diaspora: The Plight of the Young Black African Woman." The article dwells on the predicament single, educated, intelligent and fun-loving Black women of African origin face in North America -- when it comes to the issue of dating and marriage.

Read: NigeriaVillageSquare1.com/Articles/Abidde

for me it really all depends on where i'm going and what i'm doing that day. if i'm feeling all bummy and wearing just sweats then i don't bother wearing makeup but when i do dress up then i do wear makeup. i don't go without chapstick though because it's really cold where i live and there's nothing sexy about chapped lips on a woman or a man.

well let me start by first of all telling you that skin of color scars much faster and is more noticeable than white skin when there's a problem. the fact that you have melanin makes you more prone to those dark spots. i am dark skinned and i have suffered from the same thing you are suffering from except mine is from acne. this white lady explained the whole reason behind dark spots on brown skin/skin of color. well first of all we tan faster but we don't burn so when we tan the sun makes the spots get darker. she told me not to wash my face with hot water and don't use that bleaching stuff they sell overcounter. i think you should use shea butter because i've heard it works wonders. Also you should try using sunscreen so that it will prevent the sun from getting to your skin so fast and making the spots darker. the last one is to go to fashion fair, they have this cream called Vantex it bleaches out spots but it's more safer but a little expensive. using the cream might speed up the process but it will take time and patience before it complete goes away. Good luck my sister!

that is exactly i blew up with an answer like the latest one i gave. that kokscity guy sef, i try to stay away from people like that. he is the type that gives all African men a bad name. i can see him to be the sexist and macho type that i so try to avoid. we would never get along in person if he is really like that. then again who knows if he's giving answers like that just to piss people off. you know some people are good at doing that just for attention.

i respect everyone's opinion on here. i have asked a few of my male friends and they tell me that guys tend to take a woman's kindness for weakness. they also said that if a woman looks innocent then that makes her an easy target for knucklehead men. now i notice that the girls who treat guys like dogs are the ones that end up with men who literally kiss their feets but people like me who treat everyone with respect and kindness, what do i get? i get dogged by some macho, sexist bastard who thinks he knows everything and has the right to put his hand on me whenever he wishes. i'm sorry guys but i'm just tired of all the crazyness. once again i don't want to pass judgement on all African men because it would not be fair if it is done to me. i hope you guys do understand exactly where i am coming from. i have a father and a brother who all happen to be Nigerian men and they are good men. i know i am not the only female that feels this way about African men. a lot of my friends have experienced the same with African men and west indian men. i don't know if it's a cultural thing or if it's a natural thing. 

go to www.Ghanamtv.com and click on international the susana video and many other Nigerians videos are there. Enjoy!

i would suggest you that has a problem with the fat to start going to the gym or getting involved in physical activities. when you do that kindly ask your hunny to join you in that activity, they will feel bad not join you. Also you can have lots of sex, they say that is the best exercise and finally get rid of all those junk foods in your house. stop frying all those plantains and try eating healthy, that just might do it.  als remember people don't lose weight overnight, your hunny did not gain that weight overnight so the weight will not go away overnight.

really i can't remember but it was from some Nigerian site.

sorry guys it's too long but it's really worth reading. makes ya think.

Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution; they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal. A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice levirate and sororate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowing glory of any respectable Nigerian family.

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?
How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

These men -- especially if married to White women -- feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes. For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about “us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly or quarterly remittances.

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!

lol that Eucharia sef, she is a lady with a lot of potential if she could only get a makeover. someone had the nerve to say i look like her because we have the same shaped eyes. i couldn't understand it because i'm not lightskinned and i'm not big like her and i damn sure don't do horrifying make up like her. it's amazing how people see one similarity and say you look like that person. pisses me off all the time

yes i did. did you hotstepper?

Oge went to high school with my sister and they were very good friends. she used to come to our house all the time. i remember i was really young then. she lived not far from us on the same street. i remember she was one of the people that was scared of my mom because of her strictness. you know how some parents have this look on their face that intimidates people. lol but anyway, how could she forget.

What do you guys think of Nkem owoh and his songs, "i go chop your dollar" and "susana". i saw both videos and all i have to say is that the man is very funny and talented. 

As for English, he no fit speak am.  Listen to the way he pronounces his R's.  He tried though, he's funny sha. 

i'm wondering if she thinks she's too good to reply to an old friend. i tried to remind her of who i am but she never did reply even though she did accept my friend request.

just wondering if anyone knows a site where i can listen to some good Nigerian music. since i can't buy any, is there any online radio stations or a site where i can download some. thanks everyone.

i did see a movie with Ini Edo in it. then i didn't know who she was but i thought that the actress was quite pretty. it's just something about the way she carries herself and i guess her acting skills that makes her jump out at you from the screen.

whiteshark i must say you are one funny guy. keep up the good work of giving me something to laugh about everytime i come to the board.

hmm.. i love fish. i wish i could have a piece of some of that fish. i can taste it already. hmmmm....

let's pray something like that never happens to me. i am one of those girls that's very protective of her man, i don't even want to phatom sharing with another female. if i was in this type of situation i would be speechless but after i leave the scene i will make sure i get him back the worst way imagineable. i would probably do juju to him and at night i'll cut of his mandingo and feed it to the dogs. i guess you can call me grimey. As for the girl, it's over i never want to hear from her again. i am not to be messed with in that sense