₦airaland Forum

@NITERIDER

Nah, I'm not of nigerian origin I just like this forum.
Why u ask??

@TV01

Hi TV01,
      As far as bieng a "CHRISTIAN EVOLUTIONALIST", That I am not. I am however a christian whom believes in Creation Although I like the points you brought up. You asked what is the length of time in Day and NIGHT as it states in the bible verse that you quoted. Well, day and night in OUR day not the same length of time, Right? What I mean is this, Day light in only last for around 13-14 hrs in OUR 24 HR day, and night only last for around 5-7 hrs until the 24 hrs is up and the new day comes at 12:00 A.M., Right? Well it states in the Bible verse you quoted, which is:
Genesis 1:5 - God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So the evening and the morning were the first day.
Theoretically I think that, since the verse clearly states that morning and evening were the first day,  that morning  AND evening are  reletively within the same amount of time in the Length of one of GOD'S days. But, remember that this is only a theory in which I have no STRONG relative evidence to support. I am happy to debate on my "theory".

Reversable

I Believe in creation, not just BECAUSE I am a christian, but through the many facts that contradict the "Evolution Theory", For example: In the evolution theory it states that once the "BIG BANG" occurred, all of the dust particles and fragments started a circular spin to the right, well then Saturn has 7 rings that orbit around it, Right? Well then all but 1 of those rings orbit in the same direction which is to the right, then why does the other ring orbit to the LEFT?! whats more the evolution theory states that we came from MONKEYS!!! I DID NOT EVOLVE FROM A MONKEY!! If we REALLY DID evolve from apes, tell me then HOW did our anatomy change in such a dramatic fashion, their are extremely large Generation gaps in that time period between evolving from monkey to human. The whole Idea of "THE BIG BANG THEORY" or Evolution theory is just rediculous. I mean come on, their are no SUBSTANTIAL Evidence to prove the EVOLUTION theory, but their are also no Substaintial evidence of the Creation theory. But, as a christian if you read the Christian Bible, it will tell you how GOD created the earth, the universe and everything else.  Here's what i think about the CREATION THEORY:

-It states in the bible that GOD created the earth in 6 days, How are we to know the length of time in ONE of GOD'S days. Because I am sure it is not 24 HRS, it Could be MILLIONS of years.
-It Also states in the Bible that GOD Rested on the 7^th day, Maybe, just maybe, God created the universe and let it evolve for the MILLIONS OF YEARS in the length of his DAY. Then he created light, which is the SUN i'm guessing, and let IT evolve for the same number of years in the length of his DAY.

So in conclusion, I say that maybe the "EVOLUTION THEORY", in some small way, and the"CREATION THEORY" link to gether.

@CACTUS

  I would'nt copy off of ANYBODY SH*T!! THAT IS F**ked up for real man. You can't just go around ACCUSING me like that, My SCORE on that test is for real.

This was my results, I scored a 29. This is theoretically an easy test, just a brain teaser.

No. Cryptic Answer
Sample 0 24 H in a D 24 hours in a day TRUE

       1                 26 L of the A 26 letters of the alphabet                TRUE
2 7 D of the W 7 days of the week                                TRUE
3 7 W of the W 7 wonders of the world                TRUE
4 12 S of the Z 12 signs of the Zodiac                TRUE
5 66 B of the B 66 books of the bible                TRUE
6 52 C in a P (WJs) 52 cards in a pack (without jokers)        TRUE
7 13 S in the USF 13 stripes in the United States Flag       TRUE
8 18 H on a G C 18 holes on a golf course                TRUE
9 39 B of the O T 39 books of the old testament                TRUE
10 5 T on a F 5 toes on a foot                                                TRUE
11 90 D in a R A 90 degrees in a right angle                TRUE
12 3 B M (S H T R) 3 blind mice (See how they run)             TRUE
13 32 is the T in D F at which W F 32 is the temperature in degrees fahrenheit at which water freezes TRUE
14 15 P in a R T 15 players in a rugby team TRUE
15 3 W on a T 3 wheels on a tricycle TRUE
16 100 C in a R
17 11 P in a F (S) T 11 players in a football (soccer) Team TRUE
18 12 M in a Y 12 months in a year TRUE
19 13=UFS 13 is unlucky for some TRUE
20 8 T on a O 8 tentacles on a octopus TRUE
21 29 D in F in a L Y 29 days in february in a leap year TRUE
22 27 B in the N T 27 books in the new testament TRUE
23 365 D in a Y 365 days in a year                                 TRUE
24 13 L in a B D 13 loaves in a bakers dozen                 TRUE
25 52 W in a Y 52 weeks in a year TRUE
26 9 L of a C 9 lives of a cat TRUE
27 60 M in a H 60 Minutes in a hour TRUE
28 23 P of C in the H B 23 pairs of chromosomes in the Human Body TRUE
29 64 S on a C B 64 squares on a chess board TRUE
30 9 P in S A 9 provinces in South Africa TRUE
31 6 B to an O in C
32 1000 Y in a M
33 15 M on a D M C

Score 29

[size=18pt]YO MOMMA JOKES: Volume 3[/size]

[size=14pt]Yo mama is so stupid[/size]

-Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

-Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

-Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

-Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read

-Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

-Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

-Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

-Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

-Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

-Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

-Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

-Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

-Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

-Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

-Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

-Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

-Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

-Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

-Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

-Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

-Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

-Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

-Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

-Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

-Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

-Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

-Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

-Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

-Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

-Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

-Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonald's!

-Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

-Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boy II Men was a day care center.

-Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable TV shows at home.

-Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

-Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

-Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

-Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

-Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

-Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

-Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

-Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

[size=14pt]Yo Momma so ugly, .[/size]

-Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!

-Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color -
TV and asked what colors they had.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.

-Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I can mess her in any position and its still doggy style.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister UnCloth just to calm down.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.

-Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

-Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, he'd you get out so fast."

-Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.

-Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.

-Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.

-Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.

-Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go
bury it."

-Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.

-Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.

-Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a rubbish wagon.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!

-Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the mess?!?!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.

-Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

-Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.

-Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!

-Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.

-Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.

-Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.

-Yo mama's so ugly, well,  look at you!

-Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she I'm jobless a bathroom the toilet flushes.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.-

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.

-Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"

-Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.

-Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like crap 'cause he'd rather kiss her but.

-Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.

[size=14pt]CHECK THESE FUNNY PICS OUT:[/size]

https://www.unknownnews.org/051028funny.jpg

https://pics.mnogowm.com/05.jpg

https://pics.mnogowm.com/10.jpg

https://pics.mnogowm.com/13.jpg

https://pics.mnogowm.com/14.jpg

@Niterider

Listen man, I know it may SOUND extreme, but it is the TRUTH. Read the christian bible, it will tell you in detail what will happen to you once you die. First, once you die you will stand in front of god and he will judge you based on what you have done in your life, BAD OR GOOD. Then, if you are not Saved or baptised by a priest or through prayer, you WILL be tormented in Hell for the rest of eternity. I AM NOT MAKING THIS STUFF UP, this is all true man.

This is an American dish:
SHRIMP FETTUCHINI ALFREDO-

[list]
[li]Small to medium sized Shrimp-- You can add as many shrimp as you like(PREFERABLY FRESH RAW SHRIMP</li>

1-16 oz jar of Alfredo sauce OR you can make your own

2-3 Tablespoons of MINCED Parsley(or to taste)

1-box of Fettuchini style Pasta

1-2 Teaspoons of MINCED Garlic(PREFERABLY IN CITRIC ACID

Directions:
If you selected the Pre-made Alfredo sauce that is sold in your local supermarket or grocery store,  . Take a large pot and fill it about 3/4 of the way full, then bring the water to a boil, then add the fettuchini pasta and boil the pasta until the noodles are soft. Transfer the Alfredo sauce in to a sauce pan or small pot.  Heat the sauce to a simmer, and keep simmering it until the disired temperature is reached. Take the shrimp and remove the clear shell from around the shrimp, take a skillet and put the shrimp in the skillet and add the 1-2 teaspoons of minced garlic. Saute the shrimp and minced garlic until shrimp is cooked throughly. Then proceed to add the Alfredo sauce and cooked pasta  to the shrimp in the skillet and add the minced parsley, cook all of the ingredients together for approximately 2-4 minuets.

AND THEN, ENJOY!!!

I thank you all, very much.

[size=18pt]  Yo Momma Jokes: Volume 2[/size]

  [size=14pt]Yo Momma So Old, [/size]

-Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
-Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
-Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
-Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch.
-Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
-Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 $dollars!
-Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
-Yo momma so old her birth certificate says 'expired' on it.
-Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
-Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
-Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
-Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
-Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
-Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
-Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
-Yo momma so old she's blind from the big bang
-Yo momma so old even God calls her, mother!
-Yo momma so old her ass is a cave for Indians.


[size=15pt]Yo Momma So Poor, [/size]

-Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
-Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
-Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
-Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
-Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
-Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
-Yo momma so poor you go out for Sunday pushes of the skateboard.
-Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
-Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
-Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
-Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
-Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
-Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

RIDDLE #1:

there was: 1 GrandFather, 2 Fathers, 2 Sons, and 1 GrandSon all went Fishing, there were 3 Fish Caught and they all had one fish each. How is this possible? EXPLAIN,

RIDDLE #2:

IF you have 1 duck in front of 2 ducks, 1 duck BETWEEN 2 ducks, and 1 duck BEHIND 2 ducks. How many ducks do you have in all?

RIDDLE #3:

How did a man with no arms and no legs get accross the Freeway?

ANSWER: Take the "R" out of FREE and the "F" out of WAY!! (THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUET!!)

Anyone here got any other YO MOMMA jokes they know, please submit.

[size=14pt]@NFERYN[/size],
My name is daniel and i am a Christian and would like to say this, Everything that "NICETOHAVE" has been telling you is the TRUTH. The reason i say this is because you said that GOD will have to show or prove himself to you, right? Well, God gave you the free will for many reasons, yes he also gave you the ability to understand and comprehend everything in your life and the world around you, But he also expects you to believe in him. God will never Show or Prove Himself to you PHYSICALLY, BUT he will show himself to you through prayer. By this I mean that If you pray a solemn and meaning full prayer to God asking him to direct you in your life and ask him to guide and direct you to the way that HE would have you to go, then he will definatley answer your prayer. God loves you, Nferyn, and everyone else for that matter,  he loves you so much that he sent his only son, JESUS, to be crucified on the cross at calvary, to die for OUR SINS, that is why we can freely pray to god and ask him to forgive us of our sins without having to sacrifice a lamb such as they did back thousands of years ago. That is why I say this, YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN GOD, Because you will never see God  PHYSICALLY, but you will find God Spiritually, IF you trust in him and ask him to come into your Heart, then he will, and you will be saved. But, to be saved you MUST BELIEVE THAT JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SINS, And that he is your savior. So, I BEG you, Please go to a local church and talk with the pastor or priest and talk with him about what I've told you. PLEASE act now, because as a Christian, I do not want you to die and be tormented in hell for the rest of eternity.    Please reply.

If you read the holy bible, not the muslim bible the "koran", it plainly tells you that after you die you will be judged for all of your actions in your past life and will be sent to either Heaven or Hell. But, I think of it this way, I would rather live my life believing that their IS A GOD and die and find out that there isn't one, than to live my life believing that their IS NO GOD and die and find out that THERE IS A GOD.

Hi, My name is Daniel and I am from the United States of America. I am new on here and would just like to say i am proud to be a member and hope all of you will enjoy the topics and other things that i post on this forum. thank you.

[size=18pt]Yo Mamma so fat, [/size]

-when she steps on the Weight Scales it says, 'to be continued',

-she once went on a seafood diet, whenever she saw food she ate it!

-People exercise by jogging around her!

-when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

-she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

-NASA plans to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

-she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm,

-when she went to the Zoo, Elephants began throwing peanuts at her.

-small objects orbit her.

-she makes olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

-when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

-when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

-she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her, behind Mount Everest.

-when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of gas!

-she could be the eighth continent.

-she nearly put Safeway out of business

-the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

-when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

-her fave food is seconds.

-her belt size is Equator.

-she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

-when wears an 'X' jacket Copters attempt to land on her

-she shows up on radar.

-she needs a map to find her butt.

-she fell into the Grand Canyon, and got stuck!

-she wears an asteroid belt.

-her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued on-back'

-she has TB , 2 bellys.

-she's once, twice, three times a lady.

-the circus use her as a trampoline

-stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

-when she opens the Refridgerator door it says - 'I give up, '

-she got a new Job at the Movie Cinema, she works as the screen.

-she once told me, "I could eat a horse', believe me, she wasn't kidding!

-she deep fries her toothpaste.

-When she saw a yellow school bus with White people in it she yelled , "HEY, Stop that Twinkie!!!"

-When she walks down the street, her legs are bieng polite, they say to each other,"you go first, no YOU go first.

I am a Christian and as one, I would like to inform u that uh, that is Blaspheme and if you do not change your ways, you WILL BURN IN HELL!!!

That is MESSED UP dude.

OH, I didn't know it had been posted. I just registered with this forum.

There was once this woman who was cheating on her husband with another man in her own house, but, it wasn't long after when her young 6 year old son walks in from school that day and unknowingly, and with out the mother's knowledge, walks by her room and sees what they are doing outside of the bedroom door. The boy thinks the mother might hear him so he runs into a nearby closet. When all of the sudden her husband walks in the front door, and the man the mother is cheating with runs into the same closet as the little boy is in. All of the sudden the man hears a voice, "Dark in here, ain't it Mister?", The man replies suprised, "Yes it is, Be quiet!". The next day, the same routine happens and the Man runs into the closet. Once the man is in the closet, he hears the same exact voice as before, "Dark in here, ain't it Mister?", The man replies again, "Yes it is, you've asked me this before, now SHUT UP!!". The Next day however the man does not come, and the little boy is caught hiding in the closet by his father. "why are you Hiding in here?", "have you been spying on your mom and I?". The father spanks the little boy and takes him down to the church to the confession booth with the priest. Once in the booth, the boy asks, "Dark in here, ain't it Mister?". The priest replies, "DON"T YOU START THAT CRAP IN HERE, THIS IS MY CHURCH!!

kinda long but funny

Has anyone here played "King Kong" on PS2? if so, what do you think of the game?

The best NBA teams in my opinion is: SPURS, LAKERS, PISTONS. BUT, I am getting f#cking tired of the PISTONS.

The Fights in the WWE wrestling Shows are ALL FAKE. When the punch for instance, you will notice that they do not hit directly in the face but on the side of the head using their Wrist, not their FIST an when they do that they simulataneously stomp their right or left foot, do make the hit sound realistic. The blood is REAL but is inflicted by the wrestler himself, he cuts a place on his forehead about 1/2 of an inch long with a razorblade hidden in the taping on his hand or in his wristband, or he uses a piece of glass. That is why Ric Flair or other older wrestler's foreheads look "scarred Up".