₦airaland Forum

TV01:
And leave one mans career in tatters and unfairly denied the chance to pursue his livelihood?

oldham has decided not to sign him about 2 hrs ago. feminists won't stop attacking the football club & making death threats to their board for trying to sign a player that has already served his punishment.

She could equally have taken the drugs alone (before she even met the guys) or consensually with them. Someone who had partied and gotten high through the night, vomited inthe street and urinated in a shop doorway? And non of that means she was raped, just that it's damn murky out there!

i dont believe she was drunk.
whether she consented or not is another matter entirely.

It's not thin mate, it's arbitrary - totally arbitrary. I shake my head at such guys,; you's be mad to even engage such.

some of these football players are fools
it's like they dunno they are the preys. women deliberately seek them out. if she feels used after the sex, then she will claim she was rapëd.

Please post, I need to see it, in for a laugh, in for a dozen ! I bet habitual breast-gazers are in trouble !

TV

in 2013, they added the penetratiön technicality to the definition. any penetratiön no matter how slight can constitute räpe.

elampiro:
Rooney's goals are from open play. Last season you said he scores from set plays.

If Rooney were the striker, he should have scored 20 goals now, considering the number of clear cut chances RVP and Falcao have squandered in the box.

aaron ramsey didn't need to play as a striker to score. rooney is a striker - he has the instincts of a striker - anywhere he plays, he should score. football is fluid. rooney was a CM when he got a brace against pardew. if his movement was restricted, how did he get into the box to score.

even in the seasons rooney played as a centre forward, he failed to win the golden boot. why do you think he would have scored 20 goals in 16 games?

elampiro:
1. Assist is now a useless stat. Ayagayagayagayo hei

very useless stat.
whether you get an assist depends whether your team mate scores. no matter how beautiful your pass is, your team mate has to score before you get an assist.

with the key pass, you get rewarded regardless of how atrocious your team mate shoots the ball. whether he shoots on target or not, you still get rewarded for your part in the move.

If assist is useless, key pass is worthless. Someone got a key pass for Herrera's wayward attempt from 35 yards the other time.

it was a forward pass - rooney wouldn't know about that as more than half of his passes are towards de gea.

* How can Rooney be lowest when you have Fellaini and Carrick at <1? Mata is a disgrace to number 10s for having 1 key pass per match or 2 in three games. Shame!

carrick was a defender in most of those games & at best a deep lying midfielder. herrera, mata and rooney have all played plenty of minutes in the advanced positions & rooney was the lowest amongst the trio.

* The position matters. Why is Carrick and Herrera lacking?

lacking what?
herrera has made more key passes than rooney & he has more passing accuracy than rooney. he makes more forward passes than rooney - why then is rooney posting poor numbers? what's the excuse?

* I don't believe Berba was in deep lying forward in 2009/10. Where is the pass stat? I saw clips of 2011/12, Rooney was in deep supplying to wings.

what you believe is irrelevant....
why should your belief harm a factual evidence that berba started most of the attacks by laying it to valencia?

the whole world discussed their trio when they were wrecking defences in 09/10. this is how we know the people that started supporting or watching united after kagawa arrived.

http://community.manutd.com/forums/t/96411.aspx

http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/355609-manchester-uniteds-triple-threat-berba-valencia-rooney

http://www.redcafe.net/threads/berba-valencia-rooney.287375/

* Booed abi? But made captain. He is a legend.

in the absence of RVP, carrick, and evra's late transfer to turin, who else would the captain have been?

See you at night.

yeah - your torture continues in the night. i have been able to prove rooney is worthless this season. football fans criticised cleverley & mikel for backpasses and side passes - it's now clear rooney is the king of backward passes in the league.

elampiro:
Rooney >>> RVP, Mata in goals and assists from a deeper role.

What do you have to say? Huh!

rooney is shyte....
with the number of setplays & the comfortable position he has been deployed to play, he should be doing way better than he's doing.

elampiro:
* Everything you said revolves round key pass. Goals, Assists, nko?

assist is a useless stat. it doesn't give the passer any credit if a goal isn't scored. rooney got no assist for setting di maria free against arsënal at the emirates. the pass was perfect but di maria screwed up - so why should we even be discussing assist when it depends on what another player does with the ball?

you are an amateur!!

* Do you realized that Mata, Herrera and Rooney all have >1<2 key passes than 90 minutes?

rooney is the lowest - don't lump them together in your senseless inequality. rooney is the worst amongst the three.

* Rooney has played CM 7 times, AM number 10 position 2 or 3 times, striker 5 times.

in which of these positions is a striker prevented from making a key pass? how can herrera be making more key passes than rooney? can't you see rooney is useless?

* I will like to know, what formation did we play in 2009/10.who made more passes between Rooney and Berbatov? I reviewed 2011/12 season recently, Rooney was the one passing to Nani, Giggs and Young and off he ran into the box for the kill.

berbatov was a deep-lying forward. he received passes with his back to the goal & then hold it up to the wingers fly past him. he lays a pass to the wing and valencia crosses the ball for rooney to score.

our route to most of our goals that season was berbatov-valencia-rooney.

Rooney is a legend for Man United. Who is Berbatov? Bobby Chalton has named Rooney Man United legend designate and urged him to break his goals haul.

which legend?
rooney that was booed by the fans when he received his last premier league medal in 2013. legends don't get booed - rooney is mostly seen as a liability to the club.

elampiro:
I wanted to ignore until I saw you brought fresh things.

* Has Rooney played 1395 minutes in midfield? Did you expect Rooney to make forward passes as a number 9?

how many times has rooney played in the midfield? why are many of his passes backwards? i can bring out all rooney's passes when he's played in the midfield & you will find out more than half of his passes still go backwards.

* Can't you see Mata is under performing? From the number 10 he has 1 key pass per match as Rooney. So Mata can't even make two passes per match?

rooney is the biggest underperformer.
mata & herrera have made more key passes per 90 mins than rooney. so whether rooney is in advanced position or deep-lying position, there's no excuse for his poor rate.

* can we have the goals and assist stats?
* Can we have CCC created?
Forget that nonsense about set plays. Rooney's assists are mostly from open play.

even if we agree that rooney's deep-lying position lately might have hampered his number of key passes, why does herrera make more key passes than rooney?

rooney's key passes are boosted by setplays. every time a shot is taken from rooney's corners or crossed freekicks, he gets an awoof
key pass. yet, herrera has been better than him.

why is rooney such a useless player to united?

TV01:
That again is an issue; the decision to charge as rape was taken by the law authorities.

a brief decision was made when they heard the guys involved were football players. they knew the case would draw attention.

1. She cannot be held to have given informed consent, but her "belief" that her drink was spiked is given due consideration? Not too mention that there was no forensics backing up this claim? The law is too woolly, the claims too spurious, charges too arbitrary and convictions too inconsistent - why was the other guy let off?

no date drug was found in her system but prosecutors used the technicality of her high metabolism rate. traces of cannabis & cocaine were found in her system though.

It was not their honesty, it was faulty - poorly formed - laws and shoddy due process. How can truth convict the innocent?

there's a thin line between consensual sex & nonconsensual sëx. there was no evidence they even slept with her - but the lads confessed to sleeping with her. so the moment the complainant claimed her drink might have been spiked then the police would naturally be interested in the case.

I see the humour, especially as I don't swim in those murky waters, but the thinking behind those laws will percolate and harm men in other areas.

TV

hahaha!
the laws won't change anytime soon. haven't you seen the new definition of rapë put out by FBI?

elampiro:
Does Berbatov receive more of those pacing high flight balls than others? Although well said by you.

Bye!

yes he does.....
he used it to a devastating effect throughout his stay at old trafford. he holds up the play, wait for valencia or nani to run ahead and then lays the ball to them. valencia became the league's best winger in 09/10 because of berbatov. about 90% of valencia's assists that season were fed by berbatov.

elampiro:
Hahahahaha, Mata's control and forward play is overhyped. He is almost at par with Rooney in backward passes and forward passes. Rooney has more goals from deeper position.
My day is made again. See you at night. Ayagayagayago

he's not at any par!
the difference is clear - the stats pro-rated per 90 mins so it's wider than you think. rooney is our poorest player in the midfield this season. even fellaini makes more forward passes - what a shame!!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/2007506_image_jpeg9f360c5ab7736510df54c882e9dbf188

in spite of rooney taking our set plays mostly, herrera has made more key passes than rooney. if rooney were to stop taking set plays, he would be worse than carrick. why does rooney even start for united when statistics show fellaini has been better than him this season?

elampiro:
It is shocking you have not grabbed my lectures over four pages now.

The stat will record the two touches:
First touch controlled second micontrolled . 2 touch, 1 unsuccessful touch for the player.
First touch micontrolled: 1 touch, 1 unsuccessful touch for the player.
First touch miscontrolled and second controlled. 2 touches, one unsuccessful touch.

So at the end you will have number of touches vs number of unsuccessful touches to determine overall control of a player.

Note: Every touch of the ball (excluding missed duels), even from kick off is a touch.

but this doesn't explicitly state which of the successful touches is the first touch. we are particular about the first touch. i will even go further and say it's not all the first touches that are difficult. we are specific about the first touch where a ball is received from a huge height or at a very high pace.

your stats cannot determine which of the passes is coming at a height, or at pace or if it's the first. how can you then present it an argument that says rooney has a poor first touch? use your brain for once and stop trolling.

elampiro: As for the square passes, I don't have the stats. If stats say otherwise than what you claimed, then you are wrong. Herrera is the one play directly in our team. Since last season, Kagawa and Mata tend to play to the wing too as we observed.

rooney is worthless.....
he's only in the team cos he's english - even SAF said rooney is a slow learner, a typical idïot.

he makes the most backward passes and he doesn't make enough forward passes. it means with rooney in the team, we suffer a lot in attacking play.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/2007436_image_jpeg9f360c5ab7736510df54c882e9dbf188

the difference is clear.
rooney - jack of all trade, master of none.

elampiro:
Opta's Event Definitions
Touches

A sum of all events where a player touches the ball, so excludes things like Aerial challenge lost or Challenge lost


Touch/Unsuccessful touch

When the ball bounces off a player and there is no intentional pass, we award a touch. Where there is a mis-control we award an Unsuccessful touch.

........
Above was what I published. Coogar you lack education.

what has this gotta do with the first touch? you are the one who lacks education. let's assume a player makes 2 touches with the ball. excellent first touch & a poor second touch that puts the ball out of play, would this stat record the first touch?

you keep disgracing the people of edo state with your poor use of english language.

elampiro:
Who has argued that they are same?

I think you can't differentiate between unsuccessful touch stats and dispossession stats.

there must be a bag of dust in your brains. this argument started with you arguing rooney has a better first touch than berbatov. you claimed unsuccessful touch is the same as first touch - and you went to whoscored to bring up stats that unsuccessful touch/dispossession stats = first touch.

why are you changing your tune all of a sudden?

First touch has something to do with unsuccessful touch.

it has nothing to do with it.
the first touch might be excellent & the subsequent touches might be poor - it depends on the situation. stop lumping 2 parameters together. if you don't understand statistics & english, go back to primary school.

Just in 2012/13, Rooney scored a great goal from outside the box when he controlled an aerial ball amidst crowded defenders at the edge of the box.

which great goal is that? mention the goal - stop throwing up blanket statements.

He also has a first time one two aerial pass with Paul Scholes in a UCL away fixture of 2008 I think. Just to mention only these.

be specific about the games. stop lying and hiding under blanket statements. in which games has rooney controlled aerial ball? the best chance against spurs was missed by rooney. his first touch sent the ball backwards.

Golden boot is nothing. A Man United sole striker should win golden boot. Towards the end f that season, United forward were over generous to help him win he golden boot by choosing to pass to Berba instead of them scoring. Yet Berba was wasteful and allowed Tevez to overtake him. If not for the empathy of FA to award extra goal to him, he wouldn't even win.

golden boot is nothing and rooney cannot win it? all the best strikers in the world have won it but wayne rooney is too idiotïc & useless to win it. golden boot is an individual achievement for strikers - it's a disgrace that rooney has spent 11 seasons at old trafford and he's never won it.

rooney was a lone striker in many seasons and he failed to win it. in 10/11 season, berbatov started getting benched by SAF. he took no penalties & he would have scored more league goals if he had started towards the end of that season.

tevez took 5 penalties for city. berbatov took no penalties for man utd. berbatov was the better striker that season and he was EA sports best player in the league that season.

stop lying, elampawa.

He is a failure and he talks like one.

he spent 4 seasons at man utd and won the golden boot. rooney spent 11 seasons and he's never topped scorer's charts in england. they claim rooney played in the hole most times - but then rooney has never topped the assist charts as well.....in 11 seasons?

the only failure i can see here is rooney.

Rooney is England captain and Man United captain. He has made the FIFA best striker. A UCL winner, 5 EPL winner. World club cup winner. World club cup golden ball and boot winner. UCL highest assist. EPL player of the year. £300,00 striker.

rooney is wack!
11 seasons without a golden boot nor topping the assist chart in the premier league is an effing disgrace.

Who is Berbatov?

in his prime, he was the best forward in europe. rooney is a jack of all trade, master of none.

elampiro:
Dodgy stat? Is that Coogar?

your stats are dodgy in that you are fitting into a wrong theory. first touch & dispossession are 2 different things.

His first touch is a successful first touch.

Losing possession in trying to beat a marker is recorded separately as dispossessed.

so you now agree first touch has nothing to do with dispossession?

That is not up to Rooney's goals from outside the box after beautiful controls.

rooney doesn't have the ability to bring the ball down when surrounded by 2 markers. berba brought it down, beat his markers, looked up to find rooney & he played a precise pass to him. when rooney was in a similar position against pool, his cross was useless - thank feck mata was on point to square to RVP.

Words of a failure.

More like a student in his final year with CGPA of 1.7 saying "I don't want to be remembered for academic excellence or second class upper, but my beautiful oratory skills with which I entertained my course mates during break periods, and the good jokes I gave during parties".

Ukwu!!!

whereas this same berba.....

•won a golden boot
•scored more international goals than rooney
•scored 5 league goals in a match(no pen)

something rooney will never achieve till he retires his fat arsê. wazza is useless - the whole world knows, that's why half of english fans wanted him out of the starting XI in brazil.

elampiro:
This is another thing all together. If Rafael couldn't get to the pass, will it be recorded as a completed pass for DDG? This is way too off for the issue we have been discussing.

the ball is rolled into rafael's path - it was rafael's ball even before rafael took a touch. rafael looked up dwelling on whom to pass the ball to & a marker sneaked behind him to steal the ball from him. how would your dodgy stats record that?

look at the berba gif up there.
berba's first touch broght the ball down majestically. if in the process of trying to beat his markers, would your stats not say he was dispossessed? would it say anything about the heavenly first touch?

can you now see your folly in HD?

Any way I get you. You Berbatov has a first touch of a virgin but a second touch of a rapist.

berbatov's toüches are out of this world - 2 million rooneys put together don't have 1% of berba's tekkers. this was how he destroyed players like rooney as far back as 2009.

berbagod:
"I want people to remember me as a very good and skilful player. I don't want to be remembered as a top scorer, I've played with strikers with 100 goals, who can't control the ball, It seems like a three-metre pass when they're trying to control the ball with their feet."

rooney is finished!

Empero1:
@OP

Your best bet should be to repent from telling lies . Now that you have gotten the attention you sought for , so vamoose . Thank me later .

how do you know she's lying?

Amya:
I'm very much open-minded. To each his own . . . by they're old na. Man is all frail. . . .

ignore his frailties....
his viagra will take care of that. pick the call & come back here for the feedback.

naijababe:
Let me make a confession, it took me almost a year before I could make out that line 'Don't go chasing waterfalls, listen to the river and it will listen to you'. For like forever, I thought T-boz was saying OJ Simpson and could not stop wondering why she was referencing OJ Simpson, meanwhile shame and fear no gree me ask anyone

i am not surprised

SAMBARRY:
shey the menopausal symptoms no get end ni?
this one no be ordinary eye again o

her menopause has a time-delay.

make una carry that woman go deliverance from the disease of soliloquy and attention seeking

i will inform TEHN.

tohby2:
can my HP elite book 6930p play fifa 15 this are it specs
500gb hdd and 4gb ram
Window 7 32bit
Intel r core(tm)2 duo CPU p8400 @2.26ghz 2.27ghz
1280 * 800 total available graphic memory of 1294 and a
dedicated video card of 64mb

it can play it - but you need some megaspeed on your internet to enjoy the game.

tpia's menopausal symptoms strike yet again.

TV01:
The victim did not allege rape, she woke up in a hotel room, couldn't remember what had happened or find her phone and the hotel staff suggested she call the police. CCTV showed she rocked up to the hotel with the two guys, so they were asked to report in. They relayed what transpired and the rest is history.

the complainant initially reported to the police that she believed ‘her drink had been spiked’. it was only after informing the police that the complainant had stayed in a room in the premier inn that had been booked for two footballers, that the police escalated the enquiry to a rape enquiry. this was only 14 minutes after taking the call and without interviewing either the complainant or the suspects.

I agree that it is more unlikely to happen in marital cases, but my point was what technically constitutes rape. Plus there's a funny one you always remind us of where a husband got done for not withdrawing after the act has started - as his wife withdrew consent part way through or did he go beyond what was agreed?

yes he did.....
and the judges of the high court agreed she had been räped by her hubby. they pinned it on the flimsy excuse that he had said "you're my wife and i can do whatever i want with you."

They both claim she consented, one was let off and one convicted.

i think their honesty incriminated them. if they had denied sleeping with her, they wouldn't have been charged. there was no witness, no forensic trace on the victim nor the accused persons.

Per the bolded, please tell that to those pushing for equality, responsibility and freedom. As for the rest, is it not clear that the male sexual response is different to a females? He could technically be at the point of "surrender" as she withdraws consent, and thus not able to halt his climax. Na rape be that na !

TV

the male sêxual response isn't different from that of the female but i doubt the law sees it that way. the law believes a woman can steal, commit murder, manslaughter, terrorist attack, etc but till this date, the law does not recognise a woman can räpe a man........so where is her sëxual responsibility?

no matter her age, she has to repeatedly say yes to the act before a man can proceed. her silence doesn't even constitute to consent. her lack of fight or not resisting doesn't mean she consented. i ask again - where did the law place her responsibility?

elampiro:
Good for the gutters theories.

Unsuccessful touch has nothing to do with dispossession. If you miscontrol a pass to you at your first attempt, it's an unsuccessful touch. It's forms part of the figures I have published that Rooney disgraced Berbatov.

use your head na.....
de gea catches a deep cross and quickly rolls the ball ahead of rafael. before rafael touches the ball, a defender intercepts and wins the ball. did rafael miscontrol the ball? no. did he touch the ball? no. was he dispossessed? yes.

elampiro - the more you argue, the more i would keep exposing your poor footie punditry. being dispossessed is different from not having an excellent first touch.

this is another example of berba's exquisite first touch.

https://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b387/nikta-q8/Berbatov.gif

look at rooney the hyena benefitting from another man's sweat.

elampiro:
All these are only good for the gutters. Stories, theories and junks.

Berbatov miscues his touches than Ahmed Musa misses goals for Super Eagles.. When one mistakes enters his leg it becomes a highlight. Stats says Berba is miscontrols his touches too often. Stats are facts.

only a stüpid human being would mistake dispossession stats with first touch. there has never been a time rooney is regarded better than berbatov in ball retention........besides, a player can lose possession of the ball even before he touches the ball.

see how your stupïdity has been exposed.

TV01:
That's the whole point - the pivotal determinant of rape is consent. This is pretty much what happened in the Ched Evans case. The "victim" claims she doesn't remember anything and did not actually allege rape, there wasn't even any evidence that intercourse had taken place. They only knew because Ched and his friend both confirmed they'd slept with her - with her consent.

and it's for this reason we cannot apply this to marital cases. if ched was married to the victim, it's highly unlikely for her to ring the cops that she had been räped. cases like this are usually around strangers meeting up or booty calls.

But as she was considered unable to give "informed consent", they were both charged with rape. And even more weirdly, only one convicted?

even if she was conscious, she has to express consent for the whole act not to be illegal. if she was silent when the question was posed to her - it is still not consent.

Sex is now something men do to women and men have to take responsibility for womens choices. The E, F and H words in a nutshell !

TV

well, let's just admit the law doesn't deem women as responsible enough when it comes to the issue of sëx. they have to be constantly asked every minute if the act can proceed. consent can also be withdrawn at any point during intercöurse. if she says "stop" around the time her partner is about to ejäculate & the partner thrusts once after then, he can be charged with räpe!

elampiro:
1. As at this time last year, you thought whoscored raitings was opta's ratings until I opened your eyes. You were calling he raitings opta ratings, and you said they were the only objective ratings.

you are a prolific liar.....
no one has ever said whoscored ratings were OPTA ratings. all i said was whoscored use opta stats to determine their ratings. after a while, i saw that their algorithm have few flaws cos they use per game instead of per minute.

2. Berbatov has a sexy first touch which enters for him on a try your luck basis. Berbatov first touch is not different from Ahmed Musa dribbles. If you collected Musa successful dribbles you would buy him for £300m, but if you have a collection of his unsuccessful dribbles, you would take his football license. Same applies to Berba unsuccessful first touches. They are as awful as village 80 yrs old playing football, sometimes he allows the ball to bounce before he even traps it.

and yet the entire football world recognises berbatov as the god of first touch while rooney can't get out of his poverty of the first touch. anywhere you turn on the blogosphere - berbatov is highly regarded for his flair & his exquisite first touch. there's no single link on the internet that has praised rooney's first touch ever.

3. Cleverley has a better 1st touch than Berbatov.

troll alert!

4. On set piece. Excuse excuse. Who would give set play to wayward legs of Berbatov?

berbatov scored freekicks for spurs in buckets and he has 100% penalty conversion in the league. the only penalty berba has ever missed was that one against everton & that was a domestic cup competition.

5. If Mata's pass is first touch, then Rooney's goals from first time are first touch. Since Rooney has the best goal in EPL history, then he has the best touch moments in EPL hisory.

mata's pass isn't first touch - it's a cushioned pass. he didn't control the ball to retain for himself.....learn the difference between touching to retain the ball or touching to give the pass to a team mate.

TV01:
If a man and his wife both drink, subsequently have intercourse and then fall asleep, if she awakens after the fact and cannot remember consenting to the act, he has technically raped her and can be charged.

This is even if they both drunk to stupor and neither can remember anything, and even if she does not claim to have been raped.
Are you satisfies that he has indeed raped her and should be charged and prosecuted?


TV

if she feels she has been räped and she calls the cops then the husband deserves to be charged and prosecuted. everything is about the perception of the victim.

i get where you are coming from though - but my definition of marital räpe would be a situation where a husband violently räpes his wife - not the other technicalities involved i.e. consent!

jhidey08:
This arguement ensued between me and some of my friends yesterday about a husband raping his wife. NLs, is there anything lyk a husband raping his wife? Is it constitutionally right or wrong? Please kindly share your knowledge by shedding more light to this. Őňĕ łõvĕ

yes, there is.
if your wife doesn't want your penïs in her, find another woman to shäg. no responsible man should force himself on a woman. you disgrace manhood when you do such.

blank:
I have put it there. What do you think?

You can imagine the nightmare of filling out UK visitor's form where they ask all those their specific questions that has no answer.

blank:
Would have loved to contribute but our method is a little unorthodox and i have received plenty bashing from people for it so i just kinda keep it to myself.

what is unorthodox about saving & spending?

•no quote from the german clubs
•no quote from united
•no quote from the agents of the players
•express.co.uk?

patience jonathan has a better chance of winning a nobel prize in literature than for that story to be true.

leggo:
But one of you was quick to call mata's pass a brilliant controlling of the ball to Rooney? Rooney's goal then is a brilliant controlling of the ball into the goal. #YourLogic

a pass is different from a shot on target. mata's pass was cushioned. look at the gif again and see how he made sure he cushioned it so it doesn't bounce off rooney's shin like most passes rooney receives always do.

rooney just attempted an overhead kick - he fluked it & it paid off.

bleacher report's top 12 players with the best first touch in the history of football.

http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/1805968-power-ranking-players-with-the-best-1st-touch

the list had messi, iniesta, riquelme, pirlo, busquets, xavi, ronaldinho, ibra & of course, dimitar berbatov.

berbatov:
Not many players can pull off a "keep calm and pass me the ball" T-shirt, but if anyone can, it's Dimitar Berbatov.

And throughout his time in the Premier League, it is something that he has more than proven.

Now we all know the reasons why the Bulgarian finds himself—an outrageously talented yet frustrating merc'—playing amidst relative mediocrity at Fulham.

He plays at his own pace, has a tendency to go missing when things aren't going to his liking and isn't adaptable to the high pressing game currently en vogue among the vast majority of European football's elite.

Nonetheless, those negatives don't take away from his technical attributes, chief among them being the velvety goodness which is his first touch. If controlling a ball to the point that it lies as perfectly as if it had been placed by hand was a sport in itself, then Berbatov would likely win the Ballon d'Or.

Make him what you will: lazy underachiever or effortless virtuoso. You simply cannot deny that his touch is rarely anything other than wondrous.