₦airaland Forum

ileobatojo: Lol! This is the biggest flip flop of the year!! Yeepa!! Oh now you've started coming over to my position eh? Oh so now I can chase my yeye salary as much as I like eh? You're so full of crap!!

you have a problem with your sight.....i would advise you get enough vitamins A or go to specsavers.
for the benefit of those who weren't here when we started this debate, i would add the following comments i made so your theory of me flip-flopping is only being imagined in your head. the comments have been quoted so it's not something i recently edited.

coogar: there's nothing wrong being a full housewife....
someone must take care of the kids - i wouldn't object if my spouse wants to be a stay-at-home mum. it would be for our collective benefit as long as my income can take the burden. i have more respect for a woman who is a good mother, a woman who makes her kids her priority over a selfish working woman!

coogar: of course, there are many men who seem to think a woman who is not bringing in any income is lazy or a parasite but they forget raising kids is more than a 9-5 job. personally, i don't think anyone should have kids if they intend to push those kids to someone else to be raised when they are infants. if anyone cannot afford to put 30 hrs/ week(excluding weekends)to raise their kids then they should get a very effective contraception like vasectomy or the IUD string.

coogar: if that is what it would take then so be it.......
we take loads of stuff for granted in africa and when kids turn out weird, we blame familiar spirits and the market witch whereas there was little or no time for the parents to bond with their kids in their formative years. no amount of wages can replace the bonding time spent with kids when they are young - ignore that and the salary people chase aggressively would be spent on that kid when he becomes a menace to the neighbourhood.

i doff my hat to all the full housewives out there who sacrificed their career to raise their kids!

coogar: no wonder the society has broken down completely.....
look around you and see what today's kids are like. father is at work for 12hrs, mother is also at work for 14 hrs and the kids are with aunty caro and uncle okoro. there's no way the lack of attention and the lack of parental care won't tell on these kids no matter how normal they seem to appear. this is just common sense - 6 hrs per day(monday to friday) is not even enough when you break it down.

coogar: see, as long as the job a woman does is not affecting the time spent monitoring the kids then by all means do so. there are many stay-at-home-jobs women can engage in. once the kids are old enough to start school, she can then re-enter into employment with shorter hours. it's important she's at home shortly before/after school closes. children want the attention of their parents more than the money the parents chase aggressively just because they wan to keep up with the joneses. if care is not taken, that child would destroy the assets acquired via working round the clock!

ileobatojo, can you kindly point to the flip-flopping you keep accusing me of? your failure to do so then means you are a pathological liar.....

ileobatojo: Okay let me move you all the way now since you don't mind flopping back and forth like a spineless something. My kid is in school from 8 to 3.45. Those are school hours. He gets dropped off at 7.45, picked up at 4. Goes to bed at 7.30/8. Once again I ask, where do I find this magic 6 hrs crap you've been spewing all over the place. Don't forget you asserted that I should be sterilized if I don't give 6 hrs per weekday of 'quality time'. That, plus the fact that society will be doomed because of it!

i answered you last night already but it seems you get kicks dancing round in circles.

coogar: where's the 2 hrs you are cutting off? do you stay 20 miles away from his school? 2 hrs before he gets to school and 4 hrs after he closes is enough. if he takes a siesta during these hours, he's going to bed knowing mummy is around. there's a sense of security around him unlike going to bed knowing mummy is in Wall Street doing the paper-chase. go n learn parenting skills!

how old is this child we are talking about? infant? 3? 6? 9?
see why you are such a fraud during debates? what's the essence of telling us this if you forensically omitted the age of the child we are discussing? it's because you know you have been defeated in the argument.

ileobatojo: Oh my God! Can you pick a position and stick with it? Hasn't your argument been that mothers should not have children unless they are able to stay at home with them? Or else they will produce societal menaces? Can you stop dancing back and forth? So are you now saying working mothers can raise good children? So why the hell have you been shouting up and down on this thread?

so whilst the children are in school 8-2, if the mother gets a job that fits in between the period of the absence of her kids then she's not a working mum? or it means she won't be at home when they get back abi you have lost your ability to reason objectively? you keep getting your wires crossed. the emphasis is staying at home to be with the kids the moment they get back from school! a mother can do whatever she pleases in the absence of those kids. what nurturing can she give while the kids are in school or am i in the land of philistines?

bukatyne: I am not choking on my words.. I said 'I think housewifery is a gift for people who are not mentally gifted'
1. I didnot say all housewives are not mentally gifted and vice versa
2. A person who is not mentally gifted is NOT a dullard; he/she might be an average student.
3. A woman who is not gifted in housewifery can still be a housewife though she might not be as efficient as a woman with the gift.

I don't know why some posters are taking this the wrong way. Can we all be geniuses? Can we all be good in home keeping? Can we all be excellent cooks? Can we all excel in everything?

i have never seen this huge amount of drivel in my entire life.
if someone is not mentally gifted, it simply means the individual is a rëtard or mentally-unbalanced!

• housewifery being a gift for mentally-deficient women means the role is for mentally-unbalanced housewives.
• a person who is not mentally-gifted is not average - the person is a complete nitwit in roles that are mentally tasking!
• housewifery requires a huge dose of mental alertness, it requires intelligence, technical knowhow, etc...

you cannot dig yourself out of this pit, admit you brainfarted and we can all move on!

ileobatojo: And with this statement/ clarification, I can comfortably remove the word probably. It's a very daft generalization through and through.
Again what evidence do you have that all children of working mothers have a crap upbringing?!

where did i say children of all working mothers have a crap upbringing? must you talk from your arsë? i said parents who don't put in quantity/quality time in raising their kids would produce misfits. stop making your own arguments and arguing daftly!

Ujujoan: This coogar needs to be put on a leash . . .

oh shut up, my friend!
what do you know about the topic of discussion? when we get to the exportation of kolanut and palmwine, you would get my invitation. until then, get a comfy chair and watch!!!

bukatyne: Do you know what a gift is?

please explain to us what a gift is.....
you said housewives are not mentally-gifted which means they are not up there mentally - i.e. they are dullards! why are you tryin to choke on what you said abi someone else posted for you?

ileobatojo: Pls try me. In fact, the geekier the better. It's the raw, hard facts I'm looking for.
And by the way, I noticed the subtle change in your position. Now you're trying to shift it to infancy period only. No worries, even then, I still need to see the evidence you have that working mothers are more likely to raise children who are bad for society purely because they are working, during infancy or beyond!

maybe you need to go and read my earlier comments on the first page about this before you start having distorted notions about my position. children can be from age 0 to 18 till sometimes 21!!! if you then think i meant teenagers need 6 hrs of parental care then you are more deluded than i once thought. mind you, i didn't give you much from the onset. there's not been a shift in my position since the start of this thread - you did the same thing last night telling me i have shifted until i emphasised the "staying at home" bit!

bukatyne: Did I say all stay at home moms are not mentally gifted?

repeat what you said and let me put it apart brick by brick.....

ngozievergreen: So, can sb tell me how a working class lady will combine housework/home mgt and office work dat ends by 4pm

the general consensus is to strike a balance - 50% effort at work and 50% home management. at the end of it all, they would be mediocre at work and half-useless in bringing up their kids. some people need lobotomy to get their heads checked!

ileobatojo: It's probably just as daft as this.

thanks for using the word probably - it then means you are not sure!
in bukatyne's case - i am very certain she made a daft comment! when kids misbehave in the society, whose fault is it? the alignment of the moon and stars or the crap upbringing you gave them while chasing your yeye salary? every twisted kid out there always blames their upbringing for their outcome. food for thought! even the good book says nurture your child well so you can have peace!

bukatyne: Mr. Know all, It's not daft! Everybody can't do well in school else everyone would be first! Take it or leave it. We all have different gifts. Some people feel fulfilled been housewives; some are very frustrated.

there are plenty of learned housewives who would break every compound in you into electrons with their knowledge but decided the best way they can raise their kids is to stayathome! how can you even say something so outlandish that stayathome mums are not mentally-gifted? so everyone who works are geniuses? even when the jobs are menial? na wa for your reasoning!

bukatyne: So it's ok for the kids to miss their Father and not their mother?

it's better to miss their dads than miss both parents. both parents cannot stay at home and if one must work, then it makes more sense that the mother stay at home. if you are bring feminism into this ish then steer clear and don't derail the topic!

bukatyne: I don't know how some women cope with been an housewife. I was at home while I job hunted and believe me, I felt my life was wasting away. I would wake up, cook, clean ... to the next day without achieving anything. No impact in my world, no problem to solve etc. I believe house wifery is a gift for those who are not gifted mentally. We can't all be good in everything.

fücking hell - that's a very daft comment to make!

fellis:
So the father is not supposed to spend this very 'quality time' with his children? Why are they bearing his name if the responsibility of raising them is solely on the mother's shoulders?
And, a woman can have a career and still raise children properly. That your earlier statement that 'the more quality time spent with a kid, the better for them' does not hold water. There are children that had working parents that turned out okay, untill you bring a statistical finding that proves that children who had full time housewives as mothers grow up to be better than children with working mothers,

stop making your own argument.....
where exactly did i mention fathers have no responsibility in taking care of his own children? someone has to bring home the bacon. both parents cannot stay at home providing proper child care. the mother has to be the one to stay at home as she's the one that carried the pregnancy, she's the one that can breastfeed! while all this is happening, the man is at work providing the financial support and when he gets home - he gets to spend quality time with his kids but it cannot be as much as the mother!

bukatyne: So he picked cos his mother was at home more? The kids of housewives always fare better than working mothers in their studies? Coogar, each man to his own. I know that God did not create me just to be someone's mother; I have a destiny ot fulfil and I sure will. I don't just want to be called Iya Doctor, Iya lawyer; I want my mother to be called same too.

according to his autobiography, he started doing well because the mother was relentless even as a single mother for her children to be educated. she devised weird methods, took out the tv and replaced with books. she would ask his 2 boys to write and then grade their essays. it wasn't until in his adult life he realised her mother cannot even read but the assignments had helped ben carson rediscover himself and spiked his interests in studying!

but his case is one in a billion - it will not work 99% of the time!

bukatyne: Read on him. So you think 2 - 4hrs is ok for bonding with the dad but the mother needs forever to bond. A man is the head of the family yet the mother is the one that trains the kids. Talk of responsibility without authority.

who doesn't know ben carson? if anything, you are shooting yourself in the foot by throwing a rule to the exception and ignoring the fact that ben carson was a complete dullard throughout his elementary school. he was picked on and bullied by his mates everyday and the only reason this happened was because his mum was rarely at home to nurture him well. if this is the type of upbringing you have in store for your son, please get the IUD string! i can send ben carson's autobiography(Gifted Hands) to you if you want to learn more about him!

bukatyne: As some posters pointed out, the quantity of time doesn't matter, the quality does. I am not saying all kids in such shoes would be Ben Carsons; but how a kid turns out is decided by many factors.

actually, when it comes to raising the kids - it should not be about quantity vs quality but quantity plus quality. the workaholic parents started using the quality time rubbish to excuse their absence from home. if we both give the same quality time with our kids but i give more quantity than you do then i am surer to bond better with that kid than you would do yours - that's just logic!

bukatyne: For the job scenario, I 100% sure you are not referring to a Nigerian setting. So a man can have kids and still concentrate 100% on his career? Is a taboo for a man to take care of his kids once in a while? A working man/woman is entitled to on month's leave and others. Can't they rotate the care? I'm sure Ben Carson's mother didn't spend quality time as she worked 3 jobs trying to make ends meet.

we are talking about parents here - mother and father.
who is more likely to be given a longer leave - which is longer? paternity leave or maternity leave? the woman gets to stay at home more - of course, when the fathers come back from work 2-4 hrs bonding with the kids is necessary. who the heck is ben carson and is ben carson's mum a nigerian housewife?

fellis: You make it sound like it is only important for the mother to spend time with the kids and it isn't important for the father to spend time with them.
Mothers that work can also make out quality time to be with their kids. There is nothing like 100% quality time, a woman cannot abandon her career to be with her kids 100% of the time. Won't they go to school and other places?

why can't she? why did she conceive the child if she cannot dedicate her whole life into raising them. yet you blame the breakdown in the society when you see kids misbehaving - can you not see your hypocrisy? when people become parents, the responsibility is a full time one not half-baked so forget the idea of chasing a career while abandoning your kids - it's selfish!

naijababe: Yes if you are a quality parent . Speaking for myself, I hope I never find myself in a situation where I feel I need a career to survive, quitting my job has been the best thing to happen to me and my family. I don't want to do the rat race thing again abeg!!!

only quality parents can give quantity time + quality time.

naijababe: I don't agree that a woman has to be a housewife to be a good mother,some career paths however make it near impossible to be. I have done the career thing and frankly speaking I have no regrets for jacking it in neither do I judge the women who want it or have it. Right now, I am considering a career in volunteering but then I am saying this from the vantage point of having options.

but you would agree the more quantity and quality time spent with a kid, the better for that kid? can a career woman give 100% quantity and 100% quality or why are we deceiving ourselves here?

bukatyne: You seem not to undersatand that some women work not b'cos she needs the money but b'cos she has a dream that she wants to fulfill.

then those women should not have children. they would be deluded to believe they can dedicate 100% to fulfil and dedicate 100% child care at the same time. if the career is more important, those women should get effective contraception and forget about having kids....it's so simple!

bukatyne: Is taking care of the kids the sole responsibility of the mother?

in the early stages, the woman spends more time with infants than the husband unless you know a breast-feeding husbands!

ileobatojo: There is nothing we won't see in this place!! Coogar accusing someone else of loving to argue? Has the world flipped over onto it's head?!

is my accusation misplaced? sisikill did not even deny it!

By the way, nice job sneaking in your 30hrs claim in here again. Show me the evidence has turned to a long thing. Haba, even if you are just wrote paper yourself and the postal workers in Croydon went on strike sef, it should have gotten to me by now!

i have found more than 300 articles on this ish but they are too geeky for you to understand. the amount of time both parents spend on their kids is even more than the 6 hrs/day i mentioned in their infantry. i am collating the ammo to silence you!

bukatyne: In a country where young vibrant people are trekking the streets daily, a fifty year old woman wxpects to get a job?

her qualifications and her wealth of experience are priceless than the wet behind ears vibrant people you're referring to! age is overrated!

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Duuuuuuude, I bow!
Coogar thy name is Maradona!!!
Wasn't it you who brought up women working from home as though it were a better option and my post. ..the one you quoted, in which you highlighted the main point clearly was in response to that... hence the "the WHOLE WORKING FROM HOME IS BETTER does hold water.[/quote]awwwwww, no vex - my english confused you! your opinion that a stayathome mum is not better than a working mum is what i countered. that was why i quoted the particular sentence and i am saying a stayathome mum is definitely better than a career woman in the context of the amount of quality time they get to spend with their kids. on the basis of being there when the kids leave and being there when they get home alone, the stayathome mother wins!

However if you wanna see that post as countering the Housewives make better mothers argument. ...Please tell us what quality and quantity time these moms are spending with the kids when they are in school?

this point is moot!
you have to concentrate on what the career woman sees as her advantage over the stayathome mum and not a factor that affects both women. who are you kidding with this line of argument? the career woman does not see her kids when they are at school same as the stayathome mum. however, the stayathome mum welcomes the kids once they close from school, she fixes their food, she scans through their homework with them and she's even on hand to make sure the kids don't bring "foreign" objects from school as she's right there at the door when the kids get home!

It seems to me (and feel free to correct me) like it is the act of staying at home and not what they actually do while at home that you are more focused on.

nope, it's the amount of time she gets to spend watching over them and the quality time spent with them is the main focus. can you argue a stayathome woman who gets to spend 6 hrs quality time per day is not better off than the career mum who spends just 4 hrs quality time? that's 10 hrs difference per week excluding weekends. surely, one is better than the other!

i am spent already arguing with you - jeeez, you are polemic!!!
in one fell swoop, you have managed to ruin what promises to be a fantastic night with my missus into vanilla sex. i will not forgive you for this.

goodnight, world!

damiso: Naaa cant uproot hubby and my daughter.And if we even look at your argument,hubby earns more than me so why should he follow me to where i might not even earn as much(London weighting will be lost).

Naaaa I want to be a stay at home mum. .Make i dey cook and clean and tutor the kids for a while.I deserve it after all the manic running round like a headless shiken.

Dont mind me,if we can get a suitable alternative role on reduced hrs(i have two kids now) in London il be fine.If not i take the money and go.I cant cope with the full time hrs.I will be a horrible person to live with.

hubby earns more? you should have said that earlier.......
hahaha - time to relax yourself and be a stayathome mum. life is too short not to enjoy one's hubby.

i keep telling nigerians - if you must steal, steal big!!!!
in billions or trillions and you would become an instant celebrity. stealing like a pauper would only end up like ALUU-4 or the other jungle treatments in the country. i have never heard of nigerians burning politicians who stole millions. so steal big and get VIP treatment - steal small and get the ALUU treatment. the choice is yours!

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]So we are back to the housewives not the wives working from home ko?
I'm sorry I'm just trying to keep track.[/quote]nope, i am countering your opinion that one is not better than the other i.e. stayathome mums are not better than working women in the context of quality time spent with the kids! did you not see what i quoted abi you just love arguing?

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]There are also companies who make accommodation for working moms by having on site day care centers where moms can spend their lunch breaks with the kiddies.
Some of them also allow some level of flexibility. ...you don't always have to work the 40hrs in 5 days or between 9 and 5....so once again the whole working from home allows for more quality time with the children holds no water.

Again I am not saying one is better than the other. ...just trying poke holes in the points being used to prop one over the other. Y'all can just call me hole poker. ...okay is it me or does that sound dirty?[/quote]

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]There are also companies who make accommodation for working moms by having on site day care centers where moms can spend their lunch breaks with the kiddies.

Some of them also allow some level of flexibility. ...you don't always have to work the 40hrs in 5 days or between 9 and 5....so once again the whole working from home allows for more quality time with the children holds no water.

Again I am not saying one is better than the other. ...just trying poke holes in the points being used to prop one over the other. Y'all can just call me hole poker. ...okay is it me or does that sound dirty?[/quote]of course - you love poking holes so hole poker it is.....

definitely, housewives pay more attention to their kids than career mothers who rely on somebody else for 8 hrs of her day to watch over the kids. how can you not see this? add that to the emotionally-detached-ambitious-career-obsessed-father who doesn't wish to be disturbed at all times and orders the kids be taken away, put to sleep and/or fed all the time. only a housewife can put with such a terrible caricature of a husband/father while a career-woman will probably do the same leaving children to their nannies and so forth. the stress levels of a working woman is generally higher than that of a housewife - and she is likelier to take her frustrations out on her children after getting pissed about her delayed promotion at work!

damiso: They are even moving my department to Ipswich from.february and i sure aint moving to Ipswich. .So am at the risk of redundancy.Fortunately or unfortunately as i was told by employment lawyers mat leave period is kinda protected so they are offering me a enhanced severance package.Still thinking bout it and still in consultation at the mo
Hubby advised me to take the money,put it in savings and we live on his wages till i get something else preferably on a part time basis.

I no know jare,make God help me cos am confused ojere.

ipswich is a wonderful place to live - give it a shot!

damiso: Okay let me paint one picture.My dept can like to do team night outs team bonding team outing and all those wahala.Due to my flexible working pattern,if i get to work 8 i leave 3,9 i leave at 4,10 i leave at 5.But hubby works in the City so he can afford to leave home later.I decide to then take the option of getting to work half 8 and leave at half 3 so i can pick my daughter as he drops her.These my daughter nur charge £10 for every min ur late so see me rushing round like an headless chicken in order to always get there on time(have to pick her by 5).These team night outs are always like 7/8 and unfortunately for me am the only mum on my team.So i end up missing most of them.They treat me differently not based on the fact that i dont get my work done.But i dont really socialise with them and sometimes those outings impact the work enviroment.

if your house is not on mortgage, i would advise you guys move not too far from your place of work. that's what i did when i was waking up too early to travel to the city from east london. i just decided enough is enough and i moved to fulham. there's this myth that houses in and around such areas are too expensive. i later found out it's a big lie. by the time you add convenience, comfort and oyster card charges to your rent or mortgage, it exceeds staying close to the city!

I get snide remarks like but you get to leave early,i had to tell one when i leave my house am sure ur still in bed.I was always on edge but i learnt to be confident in my work.and work ethic.You can go to blazes for all i care but am a mum as well deal with it.So its not easy seriously its hard and thats where i agree with you that its difficult to give (but not impossible) 100% at both.One might suffer.

snide remarks are natural.....your team members would think you are being a snob! they can never understand your hustle! if you can move, take the option, move your daughter's school newer the same area too. my house to oxford circus is a 15 min bus ride, victoria is about 25 min ride. life is good!

damiso: Uhmm Uncle Coogar which kain UK?The one where David Cameron and his con-dem govt keep squezing the middle-class.Uncle i know you are rich but we are not o so its biting. My employer though flexible and accomodating still sometimes have issues arising by being a working mother.You want to try roles i have applied for and did not get cos i cant travel at the drop of a hat.

may heaven bless your employer - in dayokanu's country of residence, you would have been sacked!!!

Yeah family laws are friendly in the UK but its still not easy.

biko, how easy do you want it to be?

Yeah employment laws are somewhat family friendly in the UK but its still not easy. Maybe in the Nordic scandinivian countries

be thankful of what you have - majority of the states in america don't even offer paid maternity leave - something they have in common with lesotho, swaziland and papua new guinea!

dayokanu: You see what I am talking about senseless argument just to see the size of ones fonts

leave where you reside and join the civilised continent.....

I never knew there are employers who would pay you to look after your kids and not do their own jobs. In the real world most employers dont care if you have a dozen kids or are barren. They need report at 7am then its 7am. You need to be on a conf call then so be it, You need to troubleshoot over the phone so be it. No one cares whether you are the Mother of all nations running a creche.

whenever i say america is a 3rd world country - people challenge me. come and spend 2 yrs in the uk and see the respect employers dish out to mothers. mothers are the salt of the earth here - they make their lives comfortable. so i agree, what obtains in the animal kingdom called america might not be the same here. y"all are flaming capitalists so i understand your frustrations. if i were you, i would book overtime for myself and my wife. hell, rent a caravan and put it in the car park of your company!

Nothing wrong with women earning more than men. I am sure the yahoo CEO probably earned more than her husband and Michelle Obama for a lot of her life earned more than her husband. If my daughter is a $3m a yr Neurosurgeon so Should she not marry anyone who doesnt earn that much? Okonjos husband probably earns less than her. Ko si big deal

she should marry a shoemaker!!!

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]How many people can afford Au pair?
Isn't it usually the moms who pick their kids up from school or make sure they are home in time for when the kids get back home from school or have the kids in some after school program where they will be picked by mom at about the same time the WFH mom is finishing up?[/quote]which mums? the ones slaving away at work trying to contribute her quota or the one sent to zurich to attend a world bank conference would be picking up kids?

So how's being physically present in the house and not knowing what the kids are doing different from not being there at all??!!

how can you be in the house and not know what your kids are doing? jeeeez, stop embarrassing yourself. the mother's presence alone keeps children in check and reduces their bullshitness. you still don't know how to argue in 2013.....

One minute, you say no work but staying at home because it is better, the next you say work from home because it is better. Dude you are just all over the place. . .I have a headache trying to follow your points jare and since I ain't no masochist I'll just let those who seem to have a firm handle on you. . .do it.

you are trumpeting the same drivel dayo is repeating.....
show me one comment of mine that said a woman must not work at all when raising kids. the crux is staying at home. if she can work while at home to nurture the kids so be it. i neve said a woman cannot work - stop peddling nonsense in the name of sounding intelligent! i remember even saying there are various businesses a woman can do while at home. staying at home is my main priority. what she decides to do while home is entirely up to her!

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]I know a woman who works from home...they converted their downstairs bedroom into an office for her. She's got everything in there....more than she would have even gotten if she was working at the office (Two Monitors, laptop and own printer etc...no need to install server in the living room, in this day and age there is VPN )

Anyhoo, this woman wakes up in the morning, gets her kiddies ready for school, sips her coffee while she's waiting by the front door for school bus to pick up her children and as soon as they are on the bus...she gets into her study and starts working until the children get back home where she meets them at the door.

Since they usually get home around three, she has about an hour or so more to work before she logs off. During that hour or however long it takes her to finish work...her children know to keep their regberegbe ^* to themselves. No running around, no screaming, no coming to report this one did this, that one did that...because MOMMY IS WORKING!!!

Around 5, she comes out of the study and they do their "Mommy, mommy, oh my kiddies, I miss you, how was school, muah, muah". The only fundamental difference between this woman and the woman who goes to an actual office is that the former does not have to take a shower before getting to work (When she has to do a teleconference, she wears a nice top over her PJ bottoms, brushes her hair and puts on lip gloss )

So once again, let us do away with this illusion that whatever is home based is somehow better.

* The Regberegbe is my own words oh, the woman loves her kids so she would never refer to their regberegbes as Regberegbe.[/quote]this sisikill can yarn nonsense -
so by your own estimation, this woman is not better off than you - working miles away from home....you that don't even know what your kids do when they get home, you don't know what their au pair do to them when they are home. even when she's working, if there's a loud scream, this woman would stay rooted to her computer and not bother cos she must work? how did you pass your qualitative analysis in primary school cos arguing against logic such as this one leaves me breathless! if working at home for this woman is the same as working away from home then why go through all the stress of converting an entire living room into an office?

#sighs#

ileobatojo: Yeah Coogar would hire someone to his company with a rusty, crusted up CV over someone who is fresh and uptodate in the field. He's an astute business man that one!

in my industry, there are regular exams we take every 2 yrs to stay relevant in the labour market!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Actually, I do.
Now you advocate for "some" measure of employment for women with young kids. So, you've moved on from a complete no-no to a "perhaps".
You're shifting the goal posts here Coogar! [/quote]you might need to visit specsavers.......
my first comment on this post is still there, read it again and show me where i said a woman should not work once she starts making babies for the rest of her life.

Now, back to the point of women working from home...what about "quality" time with the kids?
How can these women possibly dedicate quality time with the kids whilst on a conference call? Or in the middle of an on-line presentation? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying working from home is wrong/bad. What I'm asking you, is this: How does this option tie in with the much needed quality time you advocate for, for the kids? How on earth is this any different from placing the child in part-time nursery whilst she focuses on work? And not worrying about what her over active toddler/ crawling baby might be getting up to?

your employers already know you are at home with kids - why would they then designate you on a conference call with clients when they are well aware you have kids to look after? na wa for this type of reasoning - it's getting tedious. the work of a network engineer does not require important phone calls apart from conversing with the head office when one needs to troubleshoot - even with that, a bluetooth headpiece solves that issue. you can fry your plantain and still communicate with other network engineers.

Why do you always assume that the man's income is the lion's share?

in that case, the man is the leech!
ladies, beware of the types like dayokanu. he makes one-third of his wife's income and he wants the kids in corona, abu dhabi vacation, etc even though his own income cannot afford such luxuries. hahahahaha - this is so easy!

Do you not consider households where the woman's income far outweighs the man's? And I'm not referring to your typical manual / unskilled job for the man. No, I'm thinking more in terms of say, the man's a medical doctor while his wife is the CEO of a FTSE100 company!
So what happens in this scenario? After her maternity leave's up, then what? Knitting? Cooking? Baking??

even in this scenario, the man makes enough to feed the wife and kids.......they must have planned for making baby. i am assuming a couple as learned as this one would also be conversant with family planning. who makes children they are not prepared for? 9 months exist between conception and delivery. 9 months of planning and saving enough cash to cover for her inactive years. she should quit her CEO role asap! if its something she's not willing to give up, she should not get pregnant unless she can work from home!

damiso: I dont get the point of arguing cos this your post also seems like Efe's point.You dont have to leave home to work and earn an income.One does not necessarily have to suffer for the other.As those management consultants put it work/life balance.

efe's point is quite distinct from mine.....
her post suggests a woman must work regardless.....child care or not, a woman must contribute her quota and i am saying its not necessary for her to work when the kids are still quite young. any sane husband should understand why a woman wants to put in shifts at home to nurture the kids. efe's argument is such women are lazy and they are leeches. how is our point the same? efe is chasing the fish, i am after the fisherman!

dayokanu: Like I said earlier arguing senselessly just to read your own fonts.
Abeg oo how many careers does one take a 17yr break and just enter the labour market seamlessly at age 50yrs Yeah i know Zenith bank would hire a 50yr old accountant who last worked in 1990.

e no go better for zenith bank......
getting a job is about certifications and experience. a chartered engineer or a chartered accountant would always be in demand - age is overrated, your skillet reigns supreme. my industry is filled with old men(engineers) and they are still in hot demand anytime anyday. unless you marry adefunke that can only boast of a bachelor's degree in fine arts, there's no way a woman won't get back on her career ladder if she pleases. if my grandmother takes SAP exams tonight n passes, she would get a job!

In the world of realities couples combine their income and raise the standard of life of their family instead of going to okumagbo the wife pitches her bit and they send the kids to better schools Two can combine to achieve Corona instead of one person

you are stretching the borders of daftness yet again.
in the world of realities, working couples are mostly penny wise and pound stupid. you would spend more than your wife's salary per annum if you hire professionals to do the nurturing for you and there's no guarantee they would do it as perfect as your wife!

chrisley024: Lol! City held 2 a draw by QPR. Our chance 2 go bak 2 7pts!

you're joking - premier league games tonight?
fück this nations cup getting in the way of proper football - jeeez, i didn't even have an idea there are league games tonight! thunder faya issa hayatou for this rubbish!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Really?
How?

Knitting?
Gossiping over the fence with an oversized dressing gown, flip flops and rollers in my hair?

Taking out my frustration on the kids??
Please, enlighten me...[/quote]i hope you know some people work from home!
in fact, the ones i know took that option because they want to raise their kids and they cannot even afford to hire an au pair. their companies installed a server in their living rooms and they work in their sitting room in this same uk. so tell me, is the education of such women wasted? even if we remove the uk setting and concentrate on the nigerian setting - there are various businesses one can do at home that would bring in money. do you have another point left?

[quote author=Efemena_xy]In addition to that, an education on females is wasted as their only role in life is to bear and "nuture" children.[/quote]an education on females is not wasted - once the kids are all fully in school, she can enter the labour market again!! where did i say a woman should dedicate the rest of her life to children when the kids are out of the house by the time they are 16/17. even if she had her last child at 33, is a 50-yr old woman too old to work or she would be nurturing the space left by the kids whilst they are in their respective universities? you have a way of making your own argument, don't you?

They must NEVER entertain the thought of having kids unless they're multi-millionaires

they shouldn't entertain the thoughts of having kids if they are bent on staying in old ikoyi, go to dubai every summer and if they intend to send those kids through expensive private schools all the way to yale/havard/MIT. it's sad but true - only millionaires can afford such luxuries. however, if having kids is imperative, then they should cut their cloth according to their cloth. put them in schools with less quality, ignore abu dhabi summer trips and settle for obudu ranch and put them in okuamagbo memorial secondary school instead of corona.

once they've attained such dizzying heights, they MUST forget about work and focus soley on the kids. They MUST be mad to entertain the thought of working...oh no, otherwise they'll end up rearing hooligans, benefit deadbeats and all manner of societal misfits!
Love your analysis Coogar...

exaggeration of the highest order......
one person must do the work to bring in the bacon(husband) and the other(the wife) must tidy up things in the home front. it's called partnership and its a temporary measure till the kids become adults. parents who spend quality time with their kids are surer to raise good kids than the ones who spend less quality time with theirs. that's logical enough!!!

[quote author=BABE!]It's a free world.[/quote]this phrase is so fücking funny, we all know freedom is based off the money!
how does one give a child quality upbringing if one cannot afford it? you either not have that child till you can afford the quality you want for him or you forget giving him quality upbringing and settle for less. it's that simple!!!

jidegirl12: Don't be ridiculous sis( which kind ewa agoin?)... Monè makes the world go round ... I am not interested going in circles with cooger
... so he's willing to drop his whole nine yards for his family's upkeep including cream ? Baba agbalagba cooger... I duff my weave o!

that's the way the world is.......
i am willing to drop everything for the proper care of my children! that's standard!!! i would be at work knowing my loving wife is putting the shifts in raising them like no one else can.

I spend over 100 grand for tuition so I should put everything on omo olomo cos I want to spend quality time with my kids? What's wrong with prioritizing my parenting skills? We both chose the lifestyle so we have to make it work TOGETHER

who is omo lomo?
the kids you are taking care of - did they drop from the sky or is it not the same kid agreed and made by omo lomo?

your last sentence is the only thing i agree with. people should go for what works for them. the workaholics should not look down on the full housewives as lazy beings or leeches - they are the honest hardworking women that every husband would cherish!

ileobatojo: So basically we are supposed to believe that someone who is not willing to miss a second of her children's growth for work would be willing to watch her eggs go fallow in the name of the same work? Okay we believe you.

hahahahaha - backward reasoning at its best!
someone who is not willing to miss a second of her child's growth for work would not also be willing to bring a child to the world and watch the child suffer.

people who dream to give their kids quality training and cannot afford it should stay barren till they can. if having that child is the main priority then they should forget about giving the child quality upbringing and settle for mediocrity. the 2 cannot coexist!

ileobatojo: Still waiting for your evidence.

don't jump the gun - you will have it before the weekend...