₦airaland Forum

ThiefOfHearts:
Coogar. Just say EVERYONE has the right to be paranoid. Men have theirs, women also. simple as that. all this men are the victims shyte is ghey as hell.

ThiefOfHearts:
No idea what this means.

what a marriage will be to you is entirely up to you and what you consciously want to create. it's like a garden, a marriage can be colourful, beautiful, full of butterflies and hummingbirds - but only if you cultivate it to be so. if you neglect it, like a garden, it will wither and die, and be a barren dry waste of dirt.

the $64,000 question is not "is marriage worth it"?
just like a garden, you can't really ask, is gardening worth it? well,  i think it depends on the gardeners.

marriage can be a deeply satisfying, fulfilling way to express love and generate love for yourself and for others. but only if the parties are willing to cultivate it as such.
like joy and happiness, it is not a destination to be reached and you can say: "ok, i'm here!" it's a path to be walked.

and it is a glorious path! sure, you may have to deal with fungus/stubborn/elephant grass on your lawn, or the occasional spider mite. . . .but like a garden, under the right conditions, it will flourish unless you don't have interest in gardening!

If you're not afraiod of her changing" why are your paranoid brothers afraid? Are you all not dudes? with common sense?
anyway I have no dog in this fight. make I continue yelling at yall in my Chindiama thread 

ThiefOfHearts:
coogar arent you afraid she will turn into a "LovePeddler" overnight? Oniranu.

ronkebp:
You can get a perfect wife only if you are perfect.

Analytical:
Dont get me wrong Coogar.  I wasn't referring to the dating phase here.  They have been married for 30 years.  The same principles that kept them going for 30 years surely can still keep them, isn't it?  They must have done their diligence then, but you have to keep at it now.  You don't say because you planted a garden yesterday, you don't have to dress it today, else it will grow weeds.


It takes two to tango.  Marriage requires the spouses to keep working at it, else it will grow weeds.

ronkebp:
Funny

But why can't the two adults who are inlove, stay together with or without kids in the sanctity of marraige?? Has marraige now become a ''jinx'' that brings bad luck to good relationships??

Analytical:
Dayokanu, I will say they (Benny Hinn and wife) didn't do enough diligence to keep it again.

OP has a legitimate thing to worry about.  He asked for reasons why it is worth it and I tried to give him some.  Marriage is a better way than siring kids with numeorus partners all over the place.  That is what I call irresponsibility but some will want us to think it is acceptable behaviour.  To them I say all the best.

Analytical:
Coogar, you see, society has warped the thinking of so many, that the norms are now twisted and appear okay.  I repeat there is nothing wrong in having 2 grown adults in love and in a relationship.  That in itself is normal.  It should lead somewhere after a while.  The end result should be marriage.  Call it dating or what have you.  The moment they decide not to get married, that process is short-circuited and the best you can have is friendship.  Now for those two adults to still proceed to have babies and live together for years is not responsible.  What do you think is preventing them from getting married if they so love each other?  Please find out!!

ThiefOfHearts:
I find it hilarious that the church mice always whine about losing money after a divorce

sincev yall OBVIOUSLY cant afford to marry "gold diggers" I dont see what your issue is. abeg

Michael Jordan despite losing 1b to his wife is gettihg married again. yet peopl who wobnt see that ion their lifetime are "scared" of losing "money". LOL

You people are comedians

slimyem:
i'mknocking at the door already.
Its in your hands to open up!

ThiefOfHearts:
coogar give it a rest.

women also have to worry about men becoming drunkards, cheats, abusers, etc, (yall pretend in the beginning as well) yet for some reason they bite the bullet and jump into it anyway, hoping for the best I suppose. If they can do it, what's with the excuses. Thought men were supposed to be the ones with courage  

Analytical:
I will call a spade a spade.  Yes they are, except they are into mere friendship!

Analytical:
Sagamite, slice it anyway you want it, it is irresponsible for someone to stay with another for donkey years, without making commitments!  They want to enjoy the benefits without the commitments that go with it.  Nothing wrong with dating someone, but that is a process that should head somewhere not a destination in itself.

Analytical:
Coogar, how did they end up with  whores as housewives?  Reasonable other halves abound if you do your diligence to seek him/her!  But most people won't.  Who goes to buy something and won't seek for good ones to buy?  There is seeking to be done in before committing to marriage.

OP is not only scared of the woman he might end up with, he is also scared of commitment.  He is not sure if marriage is worth it and asked for reasons why it is.  Read his posts very well.  For your information marriage is practical and requires mutual hardwork and commitment for it to blossom.  Mine is in it's 11th year and we are just changing to the 2nd gear!  

ronkebp:
QUESTION OF THE YEAR.

queensmith:
ermm no he wasnt-

OP
I am not asking this question in jest; I am dead serious. What exactly is the point of marriage? I am successful, independent, I  have had a string of steady girlfriends and if I want, I can have a string of baby mamas. What exactly is the advantage of marriage for a guy? I just don't get it. Please don't tell me "love" because I have been in love twice in my young life (I am in my late-twenties) and nothing came out of it but unnecessary pain (I am not interested in love, ever again). So why should a guy get married besides family pressure

LOL!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just luck. To be honest, I wouldn't even be giving this a second thought if not for my Mum. That woman's priorities are so misplaced! Instead of focusing on her unmarried daughters, na me she come face like we are fighting a war! And it's not as if she's the easy to please type oh!

Her list is tall and ridiculous. She wants a Yoruba woman but not one from Ijebu or anywhere in Ogun State. She wants a woman that is immaculately educated (preferably a lawyer, engineer, doctor or accountant). She wants a born-again Christian woman that isn't too small and isn't too big but knows how to cook apon, ila alasepo, efo riro and pound yam! She also wants a woman that is as pretty as all the girls in my family (and God knows, we have some stunning beauties in my nuclear and extended family) but she can't be prettier than them to avoid jealousy! She wants a woman with a mother that is fashionable and rich because they must both wear matching rolexes at the wedding! Abeg! At this rate, I might as well marry her best friend's daughter (but I can't stand the girl because she's an arrogant little ho that has already been passed around a couple of times).

Ayoobscom:
I grow up picking every bit of experience into action, i was bought football so i grew up with great football skills throughout my schooling i played in the competiontions, If i'd been bought a gun toy i probably would have had my own gun and who the hell keeps a gun without fetching troubles hell so few


I would rather go for football for a boy and a baby teddy for a girl

Analytical:
@Sagamite, unfortunately, I don't engage in needless debates.  It is for the likes of you that I stated that I am not against singlehood lest I am misunderstood.  Where did I demean singlehood?  OP asked for reasons why marriage is worthwhile and I ventured to share some (and I am not even through yet!!) and here you are ventillating already.

Singlehood doesn't equate irresponsibility!  I know quite a lot of singles that are responsible.  Some of them still yearn to get married.  It is lack of responsibility to see a grown man living with someone (opposite se.x) for ages without taking the necessary step to get committed to marriage.  Society frowns upon it, government frowns upon it and God frowns upon it too.

Marriage is a life union and that is why it is not advised to enter into it without considering the consequences.  You exchange vows in marriage.  Vows meant to be kept.  Why would anyone vow to remain committed when he/she doesn't mean it?  There are risks in marriage.  It also has it's ups and downs, as so many things in life too.  Would you now because of risks of accident refuse to enter a bus?  It is that lack of commitment that so many people run away from that makes marriage seem so difficult.

Sharing with a friend is a child'splay compared with sharing with a spouse.  Especially when your spouse is your best friend!  Tell me, Sagamite, which of your friends stay with you 24/7 all year round?  How many of them from 10 years back are still your friend and you still exchange with on a daily basis?

It is because of the likes of your mindset that we have made marriage to look like a shirt one can discard when it is no longer useful.  That is also the reason why the partner will want what she can also get from the relationship as soon as possible since divorce is inevitable anyway.  What I show you is a more excellent way.  Which spouse will not seek the best of his/her spouse when she knows it is for life and the union is a plus?

slimyem:
if only u truly had me in mind,you'd have browsed other means.
There was the option of a generator or an inverter.why couldnt employ those options?

queensmith:
O no! fagamite- it doesnt apply to you,

it doesnt apply to to confused, in the closet, narcissists, devoid of basic human emotions.

im sure one of your buddy friends will make an analysis for your type soon. . . . you just sit down there and wait. . . . . .one of your female friends will come and beg you with 'good women' from poland.  

slimyem:
^What happened to the freezer?
You could have at least preserved it for me.couldnt you?

slimyem:
^errrm, havent been home for two day.my friend been sick so i been tending to her at the hospital.
I just got your msg.
Sorry the machine picked up.battery went dead and i didnt go with my charger.
Now,will you give me the new key code to that room so we can see tonight?

cap28:
when i say you are dumb you get upset but it is apparent from your answers that you are very limited in the brain department

white people go to the movies to watch people who remind them of themselves, they do not go to the movies to see black actors playing parts that whites are quite capable of playing, they do however like to see blacks playing STEREOTYPICAL ROLES.
Stereo typical black roles are roles which depict blacks as - comedians, criminals or victims.

Why did denzel washington win an oscar for playing a criminal cop in training day as opposed to his fantastic and electrifying peformance in malcolm x?

why did jamie foxx win an oscar for playing a drug addicted, black entertainer?

why did forrest whittaker win an oscar for playing a buffoonish black african former head of state?

why did monique win an oscar for playing an abusive welfare queen?

has the light gone on in your head yet?

let me help you out - THE ABOVE ROLES ALL PROJECT BLACK PEOPLE IN A VERY NEGATIVE LIGHT.

Whites have no problem paying good money to see blacks degrade themselves and perpetuate negative images of themselves infact whites love this kind of thing so much they actually reward it - thats why all of the above have been recognised by the white film establishment with awards but you are too s.tupid to understand all of this because you do not reason on a deeper level - your "thinking" is extremely shallow  - in your desperation to be accepted by whites you cant see the damage that these kind of images create.

this is why the casting of thandie newton in the role of a brown skinned igbo woman is totally wrong - its wrong because it attempts to rewrite history and replace authentic igbo woman with a westernised fake one who is not even black let alone igbo.

considered black by whom?
how can someone who is half of somethign be completely that thing?
if thandie newton can be cast as a black woman surely she can also be cast as a white woman as she has equal amounts of black and white blood in her doesnt she?

jealous of what? i am not ashamed of my black african heritage unlike you. you are even too ashamed to mention the colour of your skin!!

fela's music was pure african music(although inspired by a fusion of different music genres)  tailored to african audiences and not westernised ones he had no interest in breaking into a white western controlled music industry as his music was about revolution and black emancipation as a result he was never accepted by the mainstream western music industry.

tuface is an african american wannabe but is being used by the white controlled music industry to exploit the african market -he is unknown to the majority of western consumers/audiences,

onyeka onwenu - homegrown african artiste - also unknown in the west - i dont know why you even mentioned her name.- i am talking about this current crop of sunglass wearing talentless wanna bes with zero talent not authentic african artistes like onyeka and fela dummy.

no they dont - but the nigerian artistes tailor themselves to look and sound like the  american and european ones in order to break into those markets - unfortunately they all sound like very bad versions of their western counterparts.

it isnt the huge budgets that make the hollywood stars as big as they are its the mindset of the people who buy into it - after all it doesnt matter how much you budget on a film - if people dont like what you stand for they wont go and watch you, western society is built on the beleif that whites are the most superior race and all others particulary blacks are inferior.  Hollywood reinforces this mindset and this is why it portrays whites as leading men, love interests, heroes, superheroes, while blacks are portrayed as clowns, criminals or victims.  The white audiences have been brought up to beleive that they are superior - their movies reinforce this beleif - it is for this reason that they go to the movie theatre.

The western media also plays a huge role in the mass brainwashing of entire populations - they have succeeded in convincing many that there is something magical about hollywood - the majority of people who have bought into this myth are whites in the western world - they treat hollywood stars in america like royalty all because of the image that their  media has created around them and then you have gullible africans like you who have also drunk the koolade.

put me in my place ? i dont think so ? remember i patiently explained to you that BET is owned by a white men but you kept banging on about how its owned by a black man .  i allowed you to make a fool of yourself and then when you calmed down i tried again - after a while my comments began to sink into your brain and lo and behold after a number of further attempts i finally got through to you.

My point was that it doesnt matter what BET is called the fact remains that it is actually run and controlled by whites.

A white man still dictates what you watch, what  you listen to and what shoudl be regarded as desirable or undesirable in other words he still owns your mind - get it?

there is something in between your ears but it would be stretching the truth to describe it as a brain - i would simply refer to it as a computer chip which has been implanted in your head.  This chip has been permanently set to self hate mode and this is why you are incapable of seeing anything positive in anyone who looks like you.

cap28:
you look past skin colour but most whites dont look past skin colour or race - box office profits depend very much on who is cast in the leading roles of major films. Whites prefer to watch members of their own race in leading roles while you prefer to watch members of any race but yours in any role -  if that isnt self hatred i dont know what is.

you dont need to - you're already white on the inside - coconut.

but whites would never tolerate thandie newton in the role of margaret thatcher - they would see it as an insult because they reject anyone who has even a hint of black blood in them and instead dump such people on the black race.  by the way why do you regard thandie newton as black and not white?

is this what you think of your mother and your sisters ? okrika and substandard?  i feel sorry for you.

oh i get it - you see the nigerians who mimic african americans as success stories while the nollywood film industry that does not have the kind of enormous financial budgets as their hollywood counterparts as being a joke - clap for yourself coconut.

why are you so hung up on BET - its white owner merely uses it as an instrument of misinformation to keep blacks ignorant and distracted from real issues.

ritchboy:
They couldn't resist the knee-jerk could they?

Meanwhile, some people didn't captain RvP

Let's hope Wenger doesn't take him off at half-time so he can complete his hat-trick of goals and assists

presido1:
Is that empty seats at the emirati?

mukina2:
in your face

you nor well lol

mukina2:
red card for givet

deserved  

davidylan:
Coogar must be feeling bad.  

mukina2:
goal for blackburn

Moodie:
Kai, empty seats plenty for emirates today oo.