₦airaland Forum

African marriages are for African. When you bring european/american style of marriage into african marriage.
It takes more than guts to keep the marriage together.

Reading through the replies, i can see that both parties don't fully accept or know the full concept of european/american marriage.

They either accept this and reject the other. you have to be ready for all parts of the marriage, the good it brings and the bad as well

if u find absolutely nothing attractive about this person, then don't go for it.

otherwise, build on what you find attractive, and their character will follow. hopefully they have a "attractive"character

haha u too much MOBO44, keep them comin!!!

I mean when a woman approach first (either by sayin she fancies you,or make her friend say it or through touching or sitting near you) ,generally she wants something to happen between the both of you but the guy doesn't really like the girl. He accepts at the end due to peer pressure or he doesn't want break the girl's heart or the guy might think he might as well chance this.

It happened to a close friend of mine once a few years back and It drove him nuts cause he knew what he was doing was wrong and the more serious it got, the more depressed he got. Until he drove the girl to break up with him.

The sad thing is that i feel like i would have done the same,i mean accept esp. given his situation. Also given the fact these days Every Woman who fancies me i don't fancy back while the women i fancy, don't fancy me.

I just wanted to ask, have any other guys on here found themselves in the same situation?

Also, to the ladies, do you generally accept a guy even though you don't REALLY fancy them?, ,(i have heard that the expression "attraction grows as you get the to know each other", do people really believe in this?)

One subtle characteristics i always notice about your so called "less educative" women is that they always have
capability and wisdom to cater for a man's ego.

This is the trick women have been using since the days of our fore-fathers. and to tell the truth it still works till today.

catering for a man's ego doesn't mean being quiet when he is wrong but but the way you go about correcting him should be less-patriotic.
(you know the way a mother corrects his grown-up son)

i have the opportunity to live with a nigerian couple, husband and wife are doctors. But looking at their life, i was able
to deduce that the wife was smarter. But that didn't change the way she treats him., even when he is wrong.
That gentle look of understanding, that touch, that affirmative but less patriotic way of proving herself right always does the job.

The basic and bitter truth is that women (esp. nigerian women always expect their boyfriend/husband to be the MAN
but they hardly give them the chance.

if you are smart, that's great!! But no man would ever like to be the under-dog. And you women would not even
consider an under-dog either.

So you want a smart, well-groomed, God-loving man then try and understand him, read him, let him be the man
To tell the truth, it is a man's ego, even a woman's ego that motivates him or her everyday.
The moment someone comes in and start telling you that you are wrong in a controlling, non-caring way. that when trouble creeps in

omg, this is killing me. .

haha i just bust out laughin @ work

only if

Blueice4re:
If they are of the same sex yes, but if not no.

Seconded

Also, its age determinant. by teen-age years caution should be taken

is it true that Women are attracted to men in red?

Read from here http://uk.health.lifestyle.yahoo.net/women-attracted-to-men-in-red.htm that women are.

What do our naija women opinion on this?

your reply should be

"me neither?, ,bored, r we? wanna come over nd chat"

from chatting, to teasing, then to touching, then to,

damn, life is surely not fair

Seeing a girl in my Shirt, just wearing my shirt, turns me on

no joke, women should learn this trick

haha, , been in similar situation before. mayne!!!, u will be suprised what women can do

^^^ just simply tell her, "you don't know, maybe you have offended her somehow,and they should help you ask her".

As for her scornful behaviours, Don't worry, let her grudge. she will get over it, but don't expect your relationship & interaction to be the same again(cos there won't be a motive involve)

You will understand the reason for her behaviour, If you put yourself in her situation

this game is very stupid and absurd, what if she rejects you. that doesn't mean she's doesn't fancy another person.

condition B, ,simply because there is power in companionship.

Also,you can do a lot of thing apart from intimacy. to satisfy ur cravings, kissing, BJ  etc

haha, , this same issue baffled during my early years of going to parties.

i guess it's just culture and all, ,nigerian girls are not open, ,It's the same with showing affection public.

i have seen some exceptions though but the end result leads to nothing

That's why a lot of nigerian guys for europeans or other africans as you mentioned.

, Brilliant, , i wish i see this earlier

spicyhoney:
U should pray about it but i guess that's what u men get for double dating.

However, miss A seems to be a better choice to me because from your post its obvious she isnt pretending and u've seen, heard and know the worst she could go, miss B on the other hand might be pretending and don't be surprised once she gets that education or even get married to u she would show worse attitude and u don't even seem to see anything wrong in her apart from the education thing and my dear that sounds too perfect. how many times have i seen this in our marriages, but on the other hand they often seem to stick together
For miss A; U could talk to her and u guys can work things out at least u both know your gud and bad sides and can work on it b4 marriage .

But like earlier said, pray abt it cos at the end of the day without God's presence in the home, no matter who u marry, things might just not work out.

We are on the same horizon , you took the word out of my mouth

this is something i see a lot, not sure why? maybe the ladies can answer this.

maybe it's for protection

It's the truth but it's so negative, , i mean is everythin is not that bad,

davidif:
he be like say the guy fell for a scammer so he really has it in mind for us.

or some nigerian mistreated him, , chai!!!, it is well

What about this:

Consistency detection and resolution - in a cluster with replicated data, how to determine
a) who has the up to date copy, and
b) how to resolve conflicts when the cluster has been cleaved and both parts are accepting writes (split brain syndrome).

Flashfast1 said it all, , even if you are a guy. The same still applies

Listen to Flashfast1

True talk, these are so obvious to me though. wow,i'm good

Your first step depends on the programming language that provoke this "love".

what programming language are you familiar with?

190:
^^^

na your imagination


definitely na your imagination~

ode~

Wat a reply, LMAO

@Poster, may be in your area. you simply can't generalise

Radiant:
It's not bad enough you're thinking of sleeping with a married man but he's also a pastor

My dear, it is wrong in the sight of man and in the sight of God. Find yourself a single guy and do ALL with him. Leave this man, okay? It's not worth it. Don't give in to your emotions for the wrong man. Look for your own and you'll be happier and free of guilt.

Exactly, free of guilt plus the outcome is not always good.
It's never going to last anyway, it's
either you get caught ---big shame
or he impregnate you
or he dumps you after guilt or satisfaction

and a man of God, you should read the bible well well to see the curses associated with this

^^^^ dat shouldn't stop you. many ppl have had a first degree and are still struggling for donkey years, still people still go for it. ask yourself why?

It is the believe that you will make it,  because to tell the truth,nothing dey easy o.

Aloy+Emeka:
Many people are jumping into this entertainment business and are still struggling for donkey years. A masters degree is not a sure bet for happy marriage.

True but we, humans, tend to look at superficial things first, ,(a good looking girl would make a good wife, a man with money will make a good husband) it is the way it is, and sadly it's often true

He already has a first degree and that is proof enough that he is a responsible man.

Yes, first degree with no job. and what do u call a jobless man, , a responsible man?

you have to get out there and consider other options as i mentioned in the last post

if you love this girl sef, you go do anything for her, right?

cantell:
I'll agree with you on the comments with bold letters but i need to ask you a question.
A guy who is sexually active and marries a lady without having intimacy with her till the wedding night, only to find out that she has low lubido or she's the not type that likes intimacy, what is he going to do?
I need an answer.

haba, !!!, She will, dont worry. it's probably because it is her first time. thats why she doesn't appear to like. (you do
know it's painful for first-timers right?)

change your style, try more pre-intimacy before doing it, , both of u click, that's why you married.,no be so.
believe me, do more pre-intimacy and you will be amazed

Pweety4me:
[color=#550077]^

@OP 'lyfe tire you' & u r winking @ us? [/color]

Pweety4me, u r too much. dats too funny.

deevick246:
l was once in this situation,they both met in my place and it was like the ground should just open up for me to enter,but since that wouldnt happen,l summoned  courage to introduce the both of them to each other as my friends.They both kept quiet ,

Same thing happen to me as well, did as above. and took a walk with one of them

agathamari:
there is no rerason why not - unless you are hidding something that is

I agree