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Please don't tackle me oo cause i no get handwriting and no be me write am na copy and paste

Why Nigeria is the best country in the whole wide world ON November 26, 2013 12:01 AM / IN Femi Aribisala / BY Vanguard Kindly Share This Story: By Femi Aribsala Two weeks ago, I paid a visit to Dubai for the very first time. Dubai is everything Lagos is not. Dubai works: Lagos does not. Dubai is spotlessly clean: Lagos is filthy. Dubai is bathed in gleaming electricity. Lagos is shrouded in darkness. Dubai is organized. Lagos is disorganized. After a few days in Dubai, I longed to be back in Lagos. What is the attraction of Lagos relative to a city like Dubai? The answer is actually very simple. Lagos is the very best city in Nigeria; the very best country in the world. I have traveled all over the world. I have been to the Far East, to the Middle East, to North and Latin America and to Europe. I have been to over 30 African countries. This qualifies me to make this assessment. Nigeria is the very best country in the whole wide world. Made-in-Nigeria There are too many things that make Nigeria exceptional and without equal. If Nigeria were not so wonderful, there would not have been 170 million Nigerians. Because Nigeria is such a great country, we are determined to give birth to as many children as possible so that even more people can partake of the pleasures of living here. We manufacture babies by the thousands and the millions because we are in love with the country. Nigerians don’t commit suicide. Neither do Nigerians ever desert Nigeria. The very worst thing that can happen to a Nigerian is to be exiled from the country. Remember this: Nigeria is nobody’s colony. We refuse to be subject to nobody. We are not under the thumb of the British, the Americans or anyone else. Nigeria is the one African country that can be said to be truly independent. We have nationalized all the nationalize-ables. We own the land. There is no foreign settler- community in Nigeria that holds us captive. We are the kings of our castles. Our very best products are made in Nigeria. We make our own mistakes; make our own choices and make our own beds. We rig our own elections. We forge our own passports. We buy our own lies. We deceive our own people. We choose to live in the middle ages and not in the 21st century. We choose to eat in “bukas” and not in restaurants. We choose to eat with our hands and not with forks and knives. We choose to walk rather than fly. Organised chaos Nigerians are natural-born revolutionaries. We like to struggle. We are always fighting something or someone. We don’t like the easy life. That is way too boring. We thrive when there is chaos. We make a profit, where there is confusion. We rise up to the challenge, where everything is upside down. If something is well-organised, our first assignment is to scatter it. That gives us room to maneuver. We can handle chaos, but order is another problem entirely. Nigerians hate progress. It does not agree with us. Some smart Alec decided to introduce traffic-lights on our roads. But when there are too many cars on the road, the last things you need are traffic- lights preventing people from going where they want. Traffic-lights make drivers wait, when they should be going. That is such a waste of time. The same goes for traffic-wardens. When you have them obstructing the roads, there are going to be tailbacks. But if you want the traffic to flow, let it be a free for all. Then you will see the ingenuity of Nigerians. We will climb up any and every possible place, and convert it to super-highways. Moreover, our roads are theaters where drama is always enacted. That means passers-by don’t have to spend money buying tickets in order to watch our plays. You can watch a very interesting TV series just by sitting on your balcony and watching Nigerians negotiate their way every day. In one afternoon, you will see David killing Goliath. You will see Mohammed Ali fighting Joe Frazier. You will see Arnold Schwarzenegger terminating his opponents. You have to admit this kind of free theater is not readily available abroad. NEPA problem Can you imagine a country where there is 24 hour electricity? That is Nigeria’s worst nightmare. For years, many nincompoops have tried to convince us to improve the electricity situation in the country, but we have wisely refused to be taken in by such deception. Why would we want good electricity when most of what we do is done under the cloak of darkness? Why should NEPA work when there are things that need to be hidden, including the rubbish that have taken over our roads. Any right-thinking person knows there are serious criminal issues in Nigeria that should not be brought to light for the sake of national security. Just think about it: 24 hour NEPA. How boring that would be? Nigerians would have nothing to talk about. We would have nothing to complain about. We would not be able to have tales by the moonlight. We would spend too much time watching television. The economy would suffer because generator sales would plummet. Those of us making ends meet by selling diesel would be in trouble. Generator repairmen, major contributors to the economy, would go out of business. Spare-parts sellers would not be able to sell even good spare-parts, how much more fake ones. Let’s face it; should Goodluck Jonathan succeed in improving the problem of electricity in Nigeria, it will lose him the next election for sure. He will not even be able to secure the nomination of PDP, which we all know is a party of diesel-sellers and generator repairmen. Valuable corruption There is so much talk about corruption. But if there were no corruption in Nigeria, there would be social upheaval. Can you imagine a corruption-free Nigeria? Don’t even bother. It would be disastrous. Millions would die of starvation. How can a man sustain his family if he cannot lie, cheat and steal? As Nigerians, it is high time we come to terms with who we are, instead of pretending to be what we are not. We are a corrupt people. It is not just our leaders: we are all corrupt. We are thieves. We love to steal. We celebrate thieves and give them national awards. We recognize that stealing is an art. To be a successful thief, you have to be skillful; you have to be ambitious; you have to be imaginative; and you have to be courageous. We are criminals because we are smart. We bring innovation to everything. Nigerians know that successful thieves are men of destiny: renowned statesmen; famous politicians; erudite managing- directors. Therefore we eulogise thieves. We sing their praises. We give them chieftaincy awards. We give them our daughters as third wives and concubines. We prefer them as our presidents, governors and legislators. Who wants an honest man as his representative in Abuja? That is a sure way to ensure you will not get your share of the national cake. Had it not been for corruption, Nigeria would not have survived. Corruption is the glue that holds the fabric of the country together. It ensures that, one way or another, we get paid. It provides a social security system. Corruption helps us to redistribute wealth between the rich and the poor. The rich steal from the government; the poor steal from the rich; and everyone is happy. If there were no corruption, there would have been a violent revolution a long time ago. You can pocket a few monies from work illegally because nobody in his right mind expects you to be able to afford even your transportation costs from your meager salary. If you are caught and prosecuted, all you need to do is ask your mother to come to work to plea-bargain for you. Thanks to corruption, we can put food on our tables. We can send our children to school. We can pay for the aso-ebi. We can keep up with the fashion trends. Traffic jams There is one fundamental reason behind the traffic situation in Nigeria. Nigerians are a wanted people. Therefore, we are always on the run. Somebody somewhere is after us and we need to make quick getaways. We are on the run from our wives. We are on the run from our children. We need to get away from our extended families. But even more urgently, we are on the run from the law. We are on the run from the state government. We don’t want to be caught by the friend we borrowed some money from last year. Thank God for traffic jams. Isn’t it wonderful that you can do all your shopping while driving on the road? How many countries do you know where you have that kind of facility? You can even get your car washed while on your way to work; without having to stop or park. And if there is any problem with your car while you are on the road, you will be grateful that you are in Nigeria. One out of every two Nigerian pedestrian is a London-trained mechanic. In case you are wondering, there is London; and then there is Osapa-London. You also don’t need any GPRS in Nigeria. Every pedestrian knows exactly the way to where you are going. So if you are lost, simply ask for directions and then you will really get lost. Conclusion All this explains why, in spite of everything, Nigerians are the happiest people in the world. We are deliriously happy. Don’t believe the lie. Nigerians complain a lot about Nigeria. But that does not mean we would have Nigeria any other way. We complain because we love to complain. If everything was alright about Nigeria, we would be miserable. Let’s face it, Nigerians love Nigeria. Nigeria is the way it is because Nigerians love it so. If it were not so, we would have made amends in over 50 years of independence. One last thing of the utmost importance: Nigeria is the very best country in the world because in Nigeria you will find Nigerians.

jagorinho:
very solid input.... Op lacks the tact in passing his message across maturely most times just like an agitated adolescent.

i bow for you sir ,you restored my losted hope on my country had it been this is how majority behave on nairaland things would have been better thank for your wisdom

Even our government are inferior bringing a white sailor and captain to drive our boy when we have many black competent sailor

Aconomist:
Which Germany are you talking about? This is Frankfurt Germany in 2018.

Google is your friend

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Ogbuu101:
Ofonjas keep boasting with Lagos.
Meanwhile in Lagos,no railway,no public water,no good roads,no stable and efficient transport system.
The tall buildings there,na Nestoil(Igbo),Lebanese, Indians etc build dem.The rest na Niger delta oil money at work.

poor ;mentality is the issue with Nigeria to your writing i know you lack education 85 percent of dubai resident are foreigner and expat make dubai what it is today some country like Qatar are surviving with the help of foreign worker,if you are born don't mean you should think poor

Ogbuu101:
Ofonjas keep boasting with Lagos.
Meanwhile in Lagos,no railway,no public water,no good roads,no stable and efficient transport system.
The tall buildings there,na Nestoil(Igbo),Lebanese, Indians etc build dem.The rest na Niger delta oil money at work.

poor ;mentality is the issue with Nigeria to your writing i know you lack education 85 percent of dubai resident are foreigner and expat make dubai what it is today some country like Qatar are surviving with the help of foreign worker

udomonday:
coming up with an idea is one thing. actualizing it is another. they had look for a libanese company to fill up and develop the place.left for only Nigeria you will be only Seeing bungalows there. I wonder why we have lost our confidence as a people and nation. While other smaller countries are improving their skyline with breathtaking skyscrapers. e.g Kenya and even Rwanda.Nigeria is foolishly building 5to10 story structures and calling them towers.if you check the skyline of Abuja it has not changed from what it was 20 years ago.even the millennium tower that was supposed to serve as a national monument is in ruins and countries like Ghana have completed all the projects that were started long after it.even those that call themselves billionaire would prefer to buy a billion naira land and put up a 500million naira property on it.like the rubbish Mike Adenuga is putting up in banana island.Nigeria just needs to be re colonized.because the only period they was semblance of real confidence and development was when we were freshly out of colonial rule because almost everybody body had the oyibo mentality. that is why theywere able to develop the Marina district of Lagos island.since we lost the confidence as a country and people.you can hardly hear a Nigerian talking of building skyscrapers talkless of the government. The few tall buildings you see in Victoria island are owned by the libanese.

you are an Illiterate and damm asshole even the almighty Germany don't have 20 skyscraper German have 18 skyscraper fools

franchasng:
Shutup and listen to the op he's making a valid point. Some of you Nigerians are so annoying; basting in your foolishness and stupidity which has kept Nigeria on the floor for decades; I feel like beating you up

just like i wish to smashing your head on the floor and you licking my ass

Aderr:
Now, the Lebanese buildings look like council flats. So why were you praising them before? You call the idea of an artificial island monkeyish. Show us what you have ever built. All mouth, no teeth.
Guess you have not heard of the banana island shopping mall.

is not to late for him to build his own ,and this is my warning to you our country may be bad but never in your live insult Nigerians again those guy are trying hardworking and persistent you insult Nigeria but never to nigerians because your father and your forefathers are Nigeria maybe they are even among those who start the misfortune in three country

BlueSparks:
Lmao

i never know their are many illiterate on nairaland until now ,i need answer from you who build dubai Arab or white the answer will tell how daft and ignorant you are

Aconomist:
No, I wish Nigerians weren't so stupid

you stoop so low ,Nigeria are great achieve just that many Nigeria change their nationality ,Nigeria are better than Lebanese in sport if you can mention one Lebanese Celeb or athlete i will give you 1bey

Aconomist:
I'm not inferior. YOU are. If Nigeria was full of people like me, it would be the most developed place on earth.

if you won't mind tell me the little thing you have done to make Nigeria prosper ,you guy despise your fellow Nigerian so much when u are still living in naija

99% of we Nigeria are not working toward making our country but for personal gain like showcasing on instagram and we forget about the rest just let me make money is all our doing unnecessary give away to gain fame ,we Nigerians value fame ,money and material thing than the prosperity and the development of the country,but i pray will get it right before its too late

Rickbronz:
good development.
Meanwhile get a quick and affordable loan with no collateral requirements. check my signature for more details.

am interested

Hugomexis:
My sister has always been telling me about a particular notorious cult guy who has been making advances towards her.

I don't live in same area with her so I wouldn't know.

She told me anytime she passes, the guy would beckon on her to come and when she refuses as usual, he'd make lewd remarks towards her.

I always laugh it off because I thought that's where it'd end until she called me crying that the guy slapped and seized her phone.

I asked her what happened and she said she was going to buy something from a nearby market late in the evening, she saw him and he cat called her. She ignored him and he called her a harlot then she replied him by saying he's stupid and foolish.

Then he came for her, slapped her and seized her phone.

I was furious. I quickly dialled the number of my soldier friend to organise 8 soldiers that would follow me there.I wired him 100k to buy drinks for them.

He organised them for me and together we took private car to where my sister stays.

We got there and we couldn't find the bastard so we arrested his folks who he smokes with till they can produce him. After threatening them, they led us to his location.

On seeing the bastard, I just rush am better slaps before my army friends come give am better marching and flogging with frog jump.

See the way the fool was crying and shedding mucus like the bastard he is. I wanted to lock him up in panti for two weeks where he will never see light and food but due to the begging from the community, I let him off with a stern warning that if dem born him and his stupid cult well, make him touch my sister again.

I go let am know the difference between six and half a dozen.

sorry to say but this are the like of u who spoil Nigeria by abusing power and opposing other ,i know going to the police is not worth it but had it been you do that i would have respected but sir u ain't a responsible citizen and if u keep@doing this u are also among those who are destroying Nigeria,sir i believe you want a better Nigeria but for that to happen you yourself have to be the change you want ur country to be cause if another army you don't know do that to u you will be shouting Nigeria army are bad ,we have to stop army brutality we start from you and me

Vaughanlanrewaj:
“it is presumptuous, denigrating and condescendingly spiteful for a group of hustlers, living largely in anonymity but struggling for relevance, to keep proclaiming and legislating on issues which affect the destiny of a whole people, without the faintest suggestion of paying even scant regard to their feelings or extending due courtesy to the real representatives of the people whose opinions they discount as unimportant.

” The people are discerning. They know the impostors. They have not forgotten the activities of the suborned agitators, the presumed penitent activists. The Ondo people, and indeed Yoruba are the easiest to lead but the most difficult to deceive. With them sophistry and demagoguery have their limits.”

Is it not time the DSS invites them to at least let them understand the implications of their actions on the peace and security of the SW especially as it relates to the way these insurrectionists were threatening even the Alaiyeluwas. I just don't get it how people will wake up and start declaring their own country in a sovereign nation on behalf of over 40m people with no consent of the people just because they have access to the social media!
Even at the height of the June 12 annulment Injustice, the Yoruba courageously faced the military and got their demands eventually.
How suddenly this current issue of farmer-herder crisis that is not even peculiar to the SW is being promoted by the insurrectionists should interest the DSS, CBN and others.

If not, these irresponsible actions will keep repeating itself. In one week alone, one who collected amnesry money and used it to build a university outside his geopolitical zone and outside Nigeria in Benin republic woke up on the wrong side of the bed and declared his own country and same week another one declared his own country in the SW!
Are there no laws or the national assembly so powerless that it can not look at laws it can make to stop these dysfunctional and treasonable actions politicians and their paid collaborators use every time a presidential election is approaching? Can't the Speaker and the Senate President see that they need to act and review these laws to stop these insurrection business?
Are there no laws or legitimate ways to bring charges against those online and media platforms who are actively being used to promote treason since they appear to be using these actions to make money and enabling these insurrectionists?

so bad of u and i never expect you to think like fowl ,when the government do nothing to stop the hell of shit happening up and down the country what do u expect either blame the government without any change or find and alternative which is what we they are doing,to support one Nigeria the government need to do something act fast give us hope and cause that we will be ready to die fighting that is what make other country like Rwanda Botswana Namibia and even Tanzania better off us cause their government give them ,we have lost hope in naija so the government need to restore back our hope or else we will spoil this country

Timmylehyn:
This is absolute rubbish! Yes, you have greater chances of being financially better in a saner environment/country. But no, Obama didn't change the world. And Trump is a testament that being US president doesn't necessarily mean you are smart or sane even.

The Bill Gates story is a good but weak argument. Without early access to computers, the world might not have Microsoft today. Yet, you overlook the fact that Gates is an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs solve problems. They push human race forward. The bring new and better solutions. Gates only saw the kinda solutions he could see with the problems around him. Aliko Dangote is doing exactly what Gates did. Just different industries, but they're solving the problems they see. Mukesh Ambani, Carlo Slim, and several others. The Bill Gates and computers argument is weak. If Gates was born in Nigeria, he definitely would never be one of those repairmen at Computer Village. He might have been one of the founders of the big banks (FUGAZ), a telecom entrepreneur, or a big industrialist himself.

Japa with sense!

if bill gate was in Nigeria either he will become agbero or omo onile cause Nigeria change destiny from witchcraft to bad government make am double wahala for dead body

Mstravelindiva:
Everybody has their likes, and not every destination is for everyone. I hope you make it to Australia soon, be sure to share your experience. I’ve heard really great things about it over there.

Safe travels and be well!

thank i also wish u well in life and eternity

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