Mynd44, Lalasticlala; this piece is worth gracing the Nairaland homepage.

On this Nairaland? Waoh!
Godmother, I don't know what to call this, but you are doing a great job with this thriller of yours.
#Following and waiting for the next update.

stuff46:
Mofo, i see yah miss call.


Kenwins this surely deserves my time. Bloody, asside from some few touches here and there, the work is great.

Oga Dee i see you.

I see you in HD

Skimpledawg:
Yu cnt change the future man.... Missed u bro! Been a yle.

Stuff46 n Slimzjoe coman n see o

Oga boss! e no easy aiswear. Hope life's been treating you well sha?

Skimpledawg:

Atleast ma name came first

lol.... Crazy

kenwins:
d9ty7 and Skimpledawg .... you guys rock! ☺

FIXED!

Finally!

Ozila
Nice narrative technique there, but I think names should start with uppercase letters. Instead of owan east, something like Owan east is suitable. I had to read that part twice to understand they are names.
Also, there is a part where you wrote ozeto(hairing.....). Methinks it should be Ozeto(hairy....)
Lastly, it seems you are comfortable writing in pidgin. This is going to be difficult as grammatical errors cannot be spotted in pidgin.
I quote this place from CHAPTER THREE; "the other person with them is call ben, hes from a poor background....." It should be; the other person with them is called Ben. He is from a poor background...." If you have to use 'he is' in short form, then it should be 'he's.'
Its a good work generally, proofread before every update to avoid spelling errors. Read through my corrections and correct them in subsequent updates and chapters.

Here in the literature section, there are critics everywhere. I believe you don't mind me or anybody doing that to your story.

Btw #Following

Perfecter4real:
hello d9ty7 i started reading this story 3days ago and this your story am reading and must confess it's an interesting story filled with suspense...am i notice that as soon i got to page 78 i stop seeing ur updates am in page 90 now still no updates all i see are comments wat happen were d post hidden or something? really i'll b disappointed if i dont get to finish this story and at d moment am not d only person viewing this posy about 3 other people are and also too guest am sure they will also b very disappointed....waiting for ur reply in anticipation

durodolad9ty7@mail.com is my mail or 08166920449 on whatsapp

You have one here sire

.

Talented writers everywhere. Except the short updates, you are doing a good job Mizquote.
Criticism, I hope to do that later.

New year, new story.... Good job Clemzy.
But, I seriously think Nancy meeting Nosa in 1998 according to your flashback, there were no mobile phones then, or so I heard.
You have a nice start, just a little misspellings here and there like impartience( instead of impatience) and a few others.
I hope to read this to the end.