Following and ready to contribute as needed. Would have loved to debate but schedule no gree.

I hope the OP or any other person here is not dreaming of a trouble-free marriage! It will be an illusion for anyone to think that there is a marriage without challenges. I believe that no matter how prudent and careful you are at choosing your spouse, there will still be those marital issues that will challenge the success of your marriage. As far as twins (triplets, quadruplets, etc) produced of same womb at the same time have issues and differences, married couples will also continue to experience challenges in their marriage. Basic ingredients needed to ensure that your marriage survives these challenges include: trust, absence of abuse, caring for one another, absence of infidelity, tolerance, patience and perseverance.
Also, it is important not to have too high expectations from your spouse. Always be prepared to be disappointed on some issues. This will lessen the effect of such disappointments on you when they occur. And it will help in coming through some of the marital challenges.

enitan2002: Hey poster,

I am with you on this, I don't have this consciousness to hide my unclothedness, i sleep unclothed every night even with visitors around. I lotion also in the presence of mama and papa. So I don't see myself changing this habit when i start a family of my own. To me, Its no big deal.

How old are you? Just curious!

This was a wonderful idea and a very educative debate. Though Katsumoto may have gotten the nod as the winner but I'd give it to Obinoscopic for his efforts that even got many thinking (and believing) that the amalgamation may not have been a mistake afterall. I'll say anyone arguing against the topic is always going to be at a disadvantaged position given what many (or most) Nigerians have considered a "mistake" for many years ago. Kudos to the two for a well laid out defence of their position.

OP, you really need to give him a good break as has been suggested. Leaving separately will provide both of you the opportunity to put things in better perspective. Perhaps things will change thereafter. Continuing to live with him under the same circumstances will likely not change anything especially with the type of in-laws you've got. As the Yoruba adage goes "omo buruku se fe, ana buruku in ko se ni" - meaning you can manage a bad or somewhat irresponsible spouse but you dare not have bad or irresponsible in-laws. In your own case, it seems you have both your spouse and in-laws to be bad! So you really need the breathing space. My 50 kobo!

konfessor:
it will be interesting to know that the chief of the community was not just a Moslem, but an alhaji, and he was reported to have okayed the killings .. go check and get your facts right.

And the people who carried out the gruesome murder? Muslims too? Please use your brain for once! It's an advice.

davroca16: I was so down and helpless and almost turned psyco when I watched that video I hardly slept and I was boiling with anger..

I've refused to watch the video even with many opportunities to do so. I simply can't bear watching such videos having got the gist of how they were brutally murdered.

@OP, I salute your write-up. Unfortunately many Nigerians are used to this type of barbaric acts. It's been there for many years! The only and main difference now is the widespread coverage as a result of social media and technological advancement which now make it easier for news/acts like this to spread very quickly.

I wish those boys get real justice. They deserve it indeed.

@OP, it is not face-me-I-face-you. It's actually "face-me-I-slap-you".

But what is the joy in overburdening oneself? Na wa for Naija o!

Always proud of my princes and princess!

larion: i think i have an insight 2 ds, & its in line with fado's tot.......now has anyone eva tot of wat it takes 2 b a cabin crew member for common dana, arik or aero, it not a position where a fresh grad apply for just like dey do with GTB, access or zenith bank with d hope of "i will learn on d job", i once checked d req for cabin crew for arik n i was like waow! U have various levels n u must b certified by bla bla bla, even d certs have levels too, i checked d fee for a local training institute in ikeja for cabin crew n i saw 250K.... Dont lets 4get dt b4 KLM, alitalia, BA n co will pick a cabin crew dey must have more dan wat dana n aero will demand (more cash right ?)
lets go international n a little outside aviation, eva wondered y d no of nurses in d US r more of immigrants (blacks with a good num of nigerians)? D answer isnt far, d locals wont go to uni 2 study BSc nursing, dey'll wld rather do pharmacy or physio if d think dey cant do medicine cos it cost almost same tin (time, cash n resources) so why settle for nursing wen pharmacy with higher prestige n pay is there, ds is y d immigrants dt have 'sense' see d space as a legal n faster way 2 earn good cash in d US, most of dem even do 2yrs crash program n viola, dey don dey balance well, as a certified nurse, driving good cars without looking 2 check if d police is coming, now take note of dis immigrants doing ds jobs, some of dem r lawyers, engineers, n oda pro frm their countries n feel nursing is stinking but dont have a choice, now there are some locals frm US (mayb d slum areas) who wont mind nursing but cant sincerely afford it...

Back 2 aviation, d same complex where my institute was in hyderbad, India was dis institute 4 cabin crew n likes, guess how much? 120K rupees abt 400K naira, now how many ladies can tell their dad 2 shell out 1m for a course in india 2 bcom cabin crew pro, in my view dose dt can afford dt cash will feel such a job is poo for their respected child, y nt 'kuku' bcom a pilot or an aircraft maintenance engr, dey r likely 2 say (remember d case of nursing i highlighted above) d low income earners dt dont mind such a job 2 make ends meet cant afford such cash plus d exam dt will make dem worthy of KLM, BA n d likes....

@ d end, we have pple dt r far above dt status n pple dt r far below it, d only few pple dt r spot on or can stretch or bend to it r d likes dt lost their lives in d june crash in iju, may their souls RIP

You make a lot of sense there.

It actually depends on what it means to you. It's a personal thing. If you desire it and think you will be more fulfilled with having children and a loving wife around you, then it is an achievement when you are able to achieve that desire.

Honesty, success, love

@debrief, too many assumptions in your post. I've said it earlier, debunking her claim in the mail is not my intention.

Thanks anyway.

Classicalman: Nwanne m nwoke there is no need for all the hate. Fact remains that the Yorubas were practically the only people that kept our properties for us, took care and handed the rents over to us after d war. Even our so called south south brothers grabbed them in the abandoned property saga. I witnessed these. One good favour deserves another. As for Awo, it is not for me to Judge him, let posterity do that. Achebe remains a man i take on as a mentor. Lets bury our hatchet and fight our common enemy.

your type is rare I must say! The guy who calls himself the "onlytruth" is either too myopic or not intelligent enough to acknowledge the simple fact. I am sure many things were wrongly done during the war by all parties involved beginning from declaring a republic within a sovereign state to starving civilians to death. But what's done is done! Any point in sowing seeds of discord and hatred by writing this type of book? To achieve what exactly? Open old wounds so that it can lead to another war with "revenge" as the ultimate goal? I am really confused about the purpose of this book from someone I hold in high esteem.

9ja_I_hail:

How slow is your brain to understand simple explanation? Look nobody has time to know who pay tithe and who did not pay. Tithe is a secret covenant one has with God and it's a spiritual excises so stop twisting it to make it look like the church or Rev whom the man paid the tithes in the church they manage are criminals, because i know too well that is where you are driving to. Mind you catholic church is not like other Pentecostal churches where one man can own and control all the donor and monetary affairs.

Most stupid thing I've heard all year! I'm sure you can do better than this.

webmanlag: Likely winners

Women : Victoria Azarenka, because she has improved considerably and is the form player in the women's draw.

Men: Novak Djokovic, because hard court is his best surface, and he has beaten the only guy capable of stopping him (Roger),
two years in a row here.

Djokovic was clearly Lucky on booth occasions as The Fed had match points on each of them.

Barakah Lah fii for this write up. May you be rewarded accordingly.

Yes! Cos I don't have a choice.

I'm lovin' the atmosphere already. Plus the fact that we have a 3-day holiday here to celebrate it. It's a good opportunity to go out and and fun with family and friends once again. May we witness many more of Ramadhan.

eGuerrilla:

A few years down the road and those same children would have been subjected to the type of exorcism captured in this video :
Britains Witch Children 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o668gwXcqX8

lol@ the video! PDP (People Deceiving People) are everywhere surely. 90% of Christians are gullible.

If you are really strong in your belief of the Deen, do not go. It is surely a temptation by the Shaytan. If you let it pass, Allah will surely open many other Halal means for you and reward your steadfastness. If you honour the test and fail to be selected for the job, you have sinned despite not being successful at your attempt. Remember that "actions shall be judged according to intention". Allahu aalam.

LWKMD today. This is not funny at all. E-warriors wan make I laugh die.

If I may ask, how would Fani-Kayode have known what was "promised" to Awolowo at that time? He was not a key person at that time. I know he would claim to have gotten some insider information from his dead father. This man cannot be taken seriously joor!

Fani-Kayode is known to run his mouth carelessly. Very shortly he will get his due reply because it's clear that he deliberately had a go at Chief Awolowo.

nzenze2:

kettle calling pot black...

?? Elaborate please.

worldman: i m from the west u can check my profile i m a fresh graduate i did my N.Y.S.C 2010 immediatly i passed out i got a secured job wit ENI AGIP you think say every body na empty fork like u

Good luck to you and your employers!

worldman: My own point of view i thing dey are taking the right step CNL should employ the qualify once

"Qulify once" like you!

TalkingBird: I think all International Ooil Companies's (IOC's) should learn from Total E & P Nigeria (TEPNG) the operators of OML-58 amongst others. Recently the symbiotic relationship between Total and a host community came to the fore. On Friday, June 22, 2012 a new Memoranda od Understanding (MoUs)that will last for 5 years was signed between Total and Egi Oil & Gas Families/Communities and Total and Egi Clan.
The new agreements deals with the following issues:
Infrastructure development
Skills development
Scholarships
Employment
Agriculture

Total has worked with its host communities such that the communities eg Egi clan is on the path of sustainable development (SD).
Total is worthy of emulation by other IOC's

Enough of high handedness and the divide and rule tactics of some of these IOC's in the Delta, learn from Total

Good idea and development in this regard. But failure to do like Total should not result into threat and blackmail.

TalkingBird: I think all International Ooil Companies's (IOC's) should learn from Total E & P Nigeria (TEPNG) the operators of OML-58 amongst others. Recently the symbiotic relationship between Total and a host community came to the fore. On Friday, June 22, 2012 a new Memoranda od Understanding (MoUs)that will last for 5 years was signed between Total and Egi Oil & Gas Families/Communities and Total and Egi Clan.
The new agreements deals with the following issues:
Infrastructure development
Skills development
Scholarships
Employment
Agriculture

Total has worked with its host communities such that the communities eg Egi clan is on the path of sustainable development (SD).
Total is worthy of emulation by other IOC's

Enough of high handedness and the divide and rule tactics of some of these IOC's in the Delta, learn from Total

Good idea and development in this regard. But failure to do like Total should not result into threat and blackmail.

talk true: They should recruit them and let them work On-shore

Just like that? Even Charity organizations have a procedure on recruitment.