₦airaland Forum

2kurupt:
Google is your best friend

And where is googles house? Lol

abesky:
the key pad is no more working. Here is the imei 356406024186164.

Does that code work on all phones?

Not again.

Watching with corner eye

Even the name should tell a sane mind that this is fake.

So sad. I'm sure the little boy saw something he wasn't supposed to see.

Reminds me of that little boy in game of thrones that was pushed from the top of the tower when he saw two siblings making out

1. Security guard at recruiting firms
2. Over-sabi PA to a politician
3. Petulant secretaries at some offices
4. The lady at the Visa interview office
5. The people in charge of jollof rice at any party (I dey tell you)
6. The clerk at the university's transcript office
7. Final year project supervisors
8. Self-absorbed and insecure lecturers
9. The girl sitting in front seat of a guy's car wearing a strong 'i-am-in-charge' look
10. Demi-god filling-station attendants during fuel scarcity
11. Ekwensu mother-inlaws with patience Ozokwor's DNA
12. The owner of the ball on the field
13. Luggage arrangers at busy bus parks
14. The Mama who sells the best Akara or beans down the street
15. The best friend of any rich person
16. The health worker at the HIV/AIDs testing unit
17. That registration officer at the HoD's office who drinks tea in the afternoon
18. The person in charge of NYSC postings and redeployment. Otondos will understand better.

No matter what you do, don't mess with these people!!!


Add yours

Nice

Often times, we could be at the park, airport, bank queue, atm queue etc and then you meet someone whom you feel like having a conversation with.

To the extroverts, that's nothing. But when you're introvert that's a whole lot of work.

People have different lines or ice breakers they use in starting a conversation.

Here are some ways I started a convo with some people.

Scene 1

Was at a wedding reception and my guy was toasting one babe and the thing was taking forever to finish so I saw two friends getting a shot from a photographer and I photo bombed them.
Then I told them "people pay me to take a picture with them" and one of them was like "say who you be?". That was how the conversation started


Scene 2

Was in the blue BRT going from fadeyi to TBS and this guy came and sat next to me. Mehnnnnnnnnn, the guy perfume follow for promo. I had to speak up.

ME: Bros, which kind intimidation be this na ?

GUY: (startled) how do you mean? Did I step on you? No vex.

ME: (smiling) for this kind recession you de use this kind perfume, which kind intimidation pass that one?

We both laughed and the conversation started from there.


Scene 3

At the airport, while waiting for our flight the lady sitting next to me was trying to take a selfie with her phone so I photo bombed again and teased her. I told her "my phone can take a better picture than yours" (I brought out my Tecno Camon CX and handed it to her).

ME: Careful with the phone o cos if it falls and breaks, I won't collect it from you again. We'll just assume I've paid for your bride price

HER: Then my phone will pay back the money and also pay for two more girls from your kindred (I just weak. She uses an iPhone 7 )

ME: (now wearing am innocent face) Sister no be fight na

HER: I think say na yabbing competition we de do.

Conversation started from there.

Other ice breakers I use are
“Excuse me, do you know how I can get to…?”
“Sorry please, what is the time please?”
“Excuse me, is this seat taken already?”


Well, enough of mine. So over to you guys, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE BREAKER TO GET A CONVERSATION STARTED?

Okay, but Op what do you mean?

Your numbers 4 & 5 counters your number 2 and vice versa.

Guys go back to the point and understand what I'm talking about

Today is the UCL finals. Who do you want/think will win and what are your reasons.

Here is mine.

I want juventus to win because I don't want Madrid to carry it back to back.

Yes, I'm a Barca fan. Normally I would have supported Madrid because it's a Spanish team, but the bragging right will be too much for them.

We no go hear word for Al those Arsenal, Chelsea and man U fans that became Madrid fans all of a sudden because they don't like Barcelona.

So tell me, who are you supporting and what are your reasons?

NB: You can't be an Arsenal fan and a Madrid fan. Nothing like Madrid is my Spanish team. It's either you are a Chelsea fan, am Arsenal fan, a man u fan, a Juve fan, a Madrid fan, a Barca fan etc.

Work of yahoo boys or what?

Aseobi must be worn.

Also the Governor has a very big pot belly.

Ighoga898:
Nigeria is a place where seeing Police men makes us nervous rather dan feeling safe. Everything dat is run by the Govt look very bad except Govt jobs. Where nothing shock us, even if u put ur hand in an electric you still won't get shock cos there's no power.

I remember one pic that was reigning then of one goat that went to sit on transformer. People were saying the same thing about the goat not dying cos no hope of light. Many months later, it's still the same thing.

Farano and rocktation una still get that pic anywhere in your archives?

E don de happen.

No good news coming out of Nigeria these days.

Everywhere na just hunger and death de reign. So sad. Look at the first picture, see the guy's cheek. E be like say them slap slap am before they shot him severally.

I leave you guys to be the judge of what this half nake.d boys are doing .

Is this ingenuity or height of foolishness?


If you must chat or browse Nairaland when you have no light, why not buy a power bank if you can't afford I pass my neighbor generator. Or get a good phone like gionee M6, Tecno L9+, also learnt that Asus phones also last long too (someone help us confirm please).

Or you kuku buy ups at least for charging phone and laptop na.

No wonder they say women live longer than men.

What happens if they should restore power to that line?

I just weak for some people

Nawaoooo

I read this in a group and trust me it's worth reading. To the lazy readers, it's lengthy, so just back off.. But to a person who wants to see things objectively, it's worth it.

"California is the 6th largest economy in the world. It's economy is larger than that of France or Brazil. The little problem is that California is not a country. It is a State in the United States of America. It has little offshore oil, yet its economy is larger than States in the US that are famous for their oil reserves, like Texas.

California generates much of its revenue from non-oil products. It found a way to absorb and domesticate much of the intellectual output from its premier university, Stanford University, into saleable products within its economy.

As a matter of fact, much of California's
economy is built around Stanford University. So with this, Silicon valley developed. I'm sure you've heard of Silicon Valley at least once in your life.
Now with Silicon Valley came companies like Apple, eBay, Cisco, Lockheed, Hewlett Packard (HP), Google, Netflix, Facebook, Oracle, Tesla...and the list goes on and on ad infinitum.These are multibillion-dollar companies.

The yearly budget of any one of these
companies might be larger than the entire yearly budget of, say for example, Akwa Ibom State. I'm talking about companies that are richer than
countries. They are all in California. But that is just in the technology industry where the technologies and inventions spewing out of Stanford are caught midair and converted to money spinning enterprises.

But there is also the entertainment industry in California. Yes, Hollywood is in California. The US movies industry contributes about $504Billion to USA's GDP. Hollywood, as you know, contributes over 70% of that figure. Most iconic movie studios are in Hollywood. As a matter of fact, the "Big Eight" consisting of 20th Century Fox,
Columbia Pictures, MGM (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer), Paramount Pictures, RKO Radio Pictures, United Artists, Universal Studios and Warner Bros are, or were, all in Hollywood. These again, are multi-billion dollar companies generating revenue for California.

Despite the above, California also thrives on agriculture. As at 2014, California had nothing less than 77,000 farms and ranches raking in about $55Billion in revenue yearly. It produces over 400 agricultural commodities, a large chunk of which it exports. It is the leader in producing exotic fruits in America. Its wine industry is unique. California wine is drunk with relish the world over. I used to drink some too.

This is just one State in America. You see, California actually had a choice of sitting back and striving to get a piece of the revenue generated from Texas' oil. It could have depended solely on Federal allocation to survive so that every month end, it will send its Commissioner of Finance to Washington DC to receive monthly allocation so that it can barely pay salaries of its workers and nothing more.

Then San Francisco would resemble Ajegunle in Lagos. And there certainly would not be those beautiful sights and sounds that make California what it is today. But No, not California. Not
America. California gives to the center and, because of its wealth, despises the idea of depending on it for survival. The Federal Government actually needs California to survive, not the other way round.

You see, America is structured in such a way that States must look inwards to exploit their wealth for the good of its citizens. There is no free lunch for the lazy States. There certainly is no commonwealth. But there is your wealth, if you can create it. Under American Federalism, you are the captain of your ship. But again, you are also the waves upon which the ship will sail. That is America.

The local government, the government closest to the grassroot, is deliberately made the strongest level of government. Items like Variances (adaptation of state law to local conditions,) Public works (yes, public works!!), Contracts for public works, Licensing of public accommodations, Assessable improvements, Basic public services are all left for local county governments to handle.

The State handles weightier matters like Property law, Education, Commerce laws of ownership and exchange, Banking and credit laws, Labour law and professional licensure, Insurance laws, and Electoral laws, including parties and Civil service laws. Items that the Federal Government, the center, handles affecting the States, are actually very negligible.

Nigeria on the contrary will never do well unless we restructure. We pretend to have a Federal system but we are actually operating a unique form of unitary government, and it is weighing
the polity down.

Can you imagine a country where the school curriculum is regulated by a
national central body and states have no powers to vary or amend their curriculum? So, if the rest of the developed world is light years ahead in
what they teach their children from primary schools, and our Minister of Education has absolutely no clue, the States must be burdened with antiquated school curriculum until such a time (if we are lucky, before rapture perhaps!!) that we have an Education Minister who would realise how far behind we are and bring the
curriculum up to date.

Just take a look at the science curriculum for grade students in
advanced countries and you would cry for Nigeria. I recently read of a high school in Japan which has amended its curriculum to include robotics and drones technology. IN HIGH
SCHOOL!! But our Professors here don't have a hang on Robotics even! Students are still taught the very prehistoric rudiments of physics and
chemistry in our schools. And this is even in the few schools that teachers and students still meet in the classrooms!

For the few public schools that are lucky to have labs, all you see are
miserable nameless creatures trapped in formalin, to which nobody ever pays attention. These creatures suffer a double jeopardy having suffered the first misfortune of being caught and
preserved in formalin in Nigeria, and then thereafter completely ignored, even in death! And because the control of our curriculum is central, there is nothing potentially proactive or
progressive-minded States can do about this.

You would think this is not a problem until you understand that Nigerians spend over ONE TRILLION NAIRA every year to study abroad, despite there being over 100 tertiary institutions in Nigeria. Not one is deemed good enough. You see, the reason why you have Cambridge, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Oxford, etc is not only for academic excellence of the citizens of the countries which have these schools. No. They invest in their institutions so that they can earn revenue from foreign students from countries like Nigeria which has destroyed its educational system.

Abroad, schools are so important to
society that the economy, business and lifestyle of whole cities and even States completely depend on or revolve around schools. What would the city of cambridge be without
Cambridge University. Or Cambridge,
Massachusetts without Harvard University. These cities depend on these universities to survive.

And imagine that Nigeria had invested in its universities and was earning $1billion dollars a year from foreign students seeking to study here, who would be fighting over oil in the Niger Delta? How many car manufacturing companies would we have in Owerri near FUTO where students are constantly doing and selling their research products to burgeoning engineering and manufacturing companies?

Recently, three students in Sweden conducted research and came up with a product that could improve wear
and tear on tyres. The product became so successful that Volvo had to partner with these students to patent the product. Now when this product hit world stage, can you imagine how much revenue sweden would earn from these product?

Do your research, most of the world-
class products we buy today off the shelf, at great cost, were invented by university students. As you are reading this, do not forget that without Harvard University, there would not have been facebook, and this our interface would have been impossible.

But our students In Nigeria are not entirely without inventions. We invented the Pyrates Confraternity, the , the Eiye, the Vikings and what not!! Students resume school with guns and bullets, rather than books and scholastic ideas, as though academic institutions were a war college. Lecturers fly colors as do students. And when the turf war begins, people die in droves. But States can do nothing about this because some of these institutions are controlled by the Federal Government.

Even for the ones controlled by States, you still can't do much because the security apparatus is controlled by the Federal Government. The Federal Government will provide or withdraw
security from the State, depending on whether it is happy with the sitting Governor.

So every year, all sorts of characters are vomited from Nigerian Universities to take their place in Nigerian society. So you have Judges, Lawyers, Engineers, Doctors and so forth whose first and primary allegiance is to their cult group, before the Country. The multiplier effect of this, is a treatise for another day.
But suffice to say that as long as this problem persist, let's forget about Silicon Valley in Nigeria, because there will never be a Stanford University here to provide an infinite supply of ideas and prodigies to feed the invention value-chain!

Nigeria cannot wake up from its slumber today because it cannot lift its head. The entire weight of its existence is concentrated in its head. From the viewpoint of government, the weight is In Abuja. From the viewpoint of revenue source, the weight is in the Niger-Delta.
We need to urgently restructure and evenly distribute this pressure points and weights to diffuse tension in Nigeria.
We need to revisit the exclusive legislative list in the constitution and systematically reduce the responsibilities of the Federal Government vis-a-vis the States.
Resources have to be handed back to the States that generated them but
place an obligation on each States to contribute an agreed percentage to the common federal purse to service obligations of the Federal Government.
There is no reason Education, Policing, Prisons (only people convicted of
federal offenses should go to federal prisons!!), Ports, Inland waterways, natural minerals, even marriage (yes, english form of marriage!!) and so many other items should not be the concern of the Federal Government. We will never develop with such weight that weigh us down at the center.
Nigeria can never raise its head in the comity of nations because of the sheer weight of the head.

There is more to say, but scarcely any time. But to emphasis the point I've been laboring to make, shall I say again that there is absolutely no reason or need to fight for oil in the Niger-Delta. There are so many things that can bring more revenue to States in Nigeria than oil. South Africa has no oil, but it has Gold, and is richer than Nigeria. Let us fight for a system that will promote both equality and equity.
Nigeria will be Great again......."

I'm still trying to figure out the original writer of this post. He/she deserves an award.

I leave you guys to comment on what you think.

Cc: Seun and mynd44 let me hear what you guys think.

So sad. Yet they have a governor and no one has been prosecuted for this. Smh

Okay. So the girls that were supposed to write physics exam never knew how to speak English. How were they supposed to understand the physics question? Abi waec been plan to set the physics exam in their own native dialect?

Okay

Sure win for Barca. But is it 9:30pm or 8:30pm?

If it's a danfo, last seat at the left hand is also good as no one will disturb you when they dropping. Besides that seat has a window. Breeze go de blow you.

But pray the engine isn't over heating

This is how to play mature politics

You'll be surprised to find out that the boy is sad because they didn't allow go to play or sit with his home boys.

There are some things "big men's children" don't enjoy.

Day11:
JUST OUT NOW........

HOT LETTING

A MINIFLAT AT OGUDU. VERY CLOSE TO BUS STOP. UPSTAIRS ALL TILED. WITH TWO TOILET. 350K A YEAR RENT.


Day11 08027163988

And then you didn't deem it fit to include the pictures?

When God wants to pick your call, no matter how bad the network is it must connect

Deep

Kensense:
Everyone is so quick to point to the announcement of outage for one month on the 4th of March. The truth is that light was even better during that period in some of the affected areas than it as before. Because outage doesn't mean blackout rather an interruption of usual service. So you still have to pay for the light you got during the period. I also know that if you are contesting your bill you can go to IE's offices and make a case for it be reviewed.

What happens in a case where you are being given estimated bill?

Even if your meter is being read and you go to report, what happens when your wire is disconnected and taken away before the dispute is resolved?

Now back to my question, IS IT IN THEIR POWERS TO DISCONNECT YOUR WIRE AND GO WITH IT?